A Series of Romantic Burning Buildings
by lunartick
Summary: Sequel to "A Series of Very Criminal Activities". In which Kuroro reads bad romances and York Shin burns to the ground.
1. A Series of Romantic Burning Buildings

**A/N:** The sequel to "A Series of Very Criminal Activities".

This is a very weird and… crazy story. It's not much of an action story (though of course with the Ryodan involved, you can't avoid all the violence and gore etc entirely). The Ryodan wouldn't appear much either, because it is a romance story and the Ryodan isn't very romantic in my opinion, so for those who wanted to see more of the Ryodan, I apologise.

And… I have nothing else to say but this: after you're done reading this chapter, please forgive me, I knew not what I have done.

Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me.

* * *

A Series of Romantic Burning Buildings

_The building was on fire but that was the least of his worries. Kuroro leaned back on bruised, broken arms and coughed violently into his hand. Black phlegm came out, tinged with blood. That… didn't look too good. With a sigh, he leaned his head back and stared through the smog filling the room. Across from him stood a woman, as bloodied and as bruised as he was, staring into the darkness with a look of intense concentration on her face. Then when she felt his gaze on her, she turned and looked at him, giving him a full view of her face drenched in blood. _

_For a moment, Kuroro and Midoya could only stare at each other over the expanse of black smoke rolling around them. Then Midoya started to laugh, painfully at first, but gaining strength and momentum as hilarity built. After a while, Kuroro joined her and they collapsed on the ground, laughing hysterically together. _

_And so this was how it would end. Kuroro smiled ironically as smoke filled his lungs. Who would have known? _

* * *

The box in front of him had been sitting there for a while, but no matter how much Kuroro stared at it, it just didn't seem to make sense. Neither did the letter that had come with the box. Glancing at the piece of paper in his hand, Kuroro turned it over and over, just as he had been doing for the past hour.

There were clues that hinted and suggested things to him. Midoya's neat, elegant handwriting, for example, told him that the letter was addressed to him. That was simple enough. However, the contents of the letter, a mere five sentences, did not make any sense to him at all.

Finally, Kuroro got to his feet, put the letter in his pocket to free his hands, and picked up the box. With a firm and quick stride, he walked out of his private quarters and into the common space of the base. It was a lot emptier than usual. Since the Ryodan wasn't on any mission in particular and since Kuroro wouldn't be well enough to plan anything for a while, most of the members had gone off to do whatever it was they did in their free time. Still, a few members had stayed behind, mainly, Kuroro suspected, to watch over him. Given how the members present changed every couple of days, he had a feeling that someone, most likely Shalnark, had come up with a roster for 'Dancho watch duty'. He didn't actually mind it that much since it was surprisingly nice to have someone around at his beck and call at all hours. All he needed to do was cough and look as sick as he could, and he could get them to do just about anything for him, including shining his boots, laundering his coat and buying his meals for him.

Though Kuroro was aware that Machi and Nobunaga were around somewhere, the first member he caught sight of was Shizuku, curled up on a piece of card box as she read a book. Immediately, Kuroro changed his course and headed straight for her.

"Shizuku," he said solemnly.

Shizuku looked up from the book and blinked at him. "Hello Dancho," she greeted formally.

"Shizuku, look at this." With a flourish, Kuroro presented the box to her. "Tell me what you see."

Obediently, Shizuku peered into the box. "A toothbrush," she replied after a while and with obvious pride. "And a razor."

"A most succinct observation, Shizuku. What else do you see?"

"A can of shaving cream and a pair of shades," she said immediately, getting into the swing of things. "And… a belt."

"Correct. And?"

"Underwear. Male briefs, grey, in a medium size," Shizuku declared, obviously harnessing the observational skills that made her an excellent fighter. "Is that right?"

"Yes, you are absolutely correct."

Shizuku peered up at him curiously from over the rims of her glasses. "Is this important?" she asked. "Are we going to steal underwear during our next mission?"

"No, Shizuku. The significance of these items lies not in their value but their owner." Kuroro frowned at the contents of the box. "Those are not just any briefs. They are _my_ briefs."

Shizuku observed said article of clothing a while more and nodded solemnly. "They are about your size," she agreed.

"In point of fact," Kuroro went on, delving deeper into the box, "this is my shirt, my trousers, my belt, my comb, my razor, my toothbrush, my cologne and my hair gel."

"You're right, Dancho. I've seen you wear them before and that cologne smells like you."

"_But_," Kuroro continued, "these are not just my possessions. They are the very same possessions I leave at Midoya's penthouse. They are my spare outfit and toiletries for the odd occasion when I stay over at her place."

Shizuku frowned, obviously thinking hard about that. "Well then you're not doing a very good job of leaving them at her place since the items are _here_," she pointed out reasonably.

Since that was impeccable logic, Kuroro had to grant her the point. "Yes," he agreed. "And the reason for that is because Midoya had sent them to this place. To me."

"Huh? Why? You can't use them at her house if they are here."

"That is the question," Kuroro declared, "and here is a clue." With another flourish, he whipped the letter out of his pocket and presented it to Shizuku. "Read it."

Obediently, Shizuku took the letter and opened it. "_Kuroro_," she read, "_I think it is best if you never come by my place again. Here are the items you left with me. If I missed out anything, contact Julius and he will let me know. Thank you for the many pleasant times we spent together. Goodbye. Midoya_."

"What do you think that means?" Kuroro asked, bemused. "I do not understand it. Where am I to meet her, if not at her place? Could she possibly be moving? If that is so, why didn't she just send me her new address? Why should I contact Julius for help if I have her number?"

Shizuku blinked up at him from over her glasses. "Oh Dancho, you silly. It's so obvious," she said brightly.

"What is it?" Kuroro asked surprised Shizuku could comprehend this when he couldn't. "What does this all mean?"

"Easy." Shizuku beamed with pride. "You've just gotten dumped."

* * *

At first, Kuroro was inclined to dismiss Shizuku's conclusion as incorrect. Why would Midoya dump him? What had he done to incur her displeasure? Nothing that he knew of at least. If anything, _she_ had been the one who had gone out of her way to annoy him, with the whole Infinity Gem episode. If anyone was dumping anyone, it should be him dumping her. That she would initiate a break-up was beyond the scope of reasonable speculation.

However, when he located Machi and shared the perplexing package and Shizuku's conclusion with her, he was shocked to discover that she was in agreement with Shizuku.

"She's dumping you, Dancho," Machi told him.

"No," Kuroro protested stubbornly. "What logical reason would she have for dumping me?"

"I have no idea, but the evidence is there," Machi argued. "The only reason she would return your possessions to you is if you wouldn't ever need to use them in her presence anymore, right? And under what situation would you never have to use them in her presence again? A situation whereby you wouldn't be staying over at her place for any length of time: i.e. a situation where you wouldn't be sleeping at her place."

Kuroro wanted to protest more, but Machi's train of logic was regrettably sound for someone who relied so much on intuition. Deciding that a second opinion was insufficient, he had next hunted down Nobunaga to acquire a third opinion.

"She isn't dumping me, right?" Kuroro demanded after showing Nobunaga the evidence.

"Uh… sorry, Dancho," Nobunaga replied, and the expression on his face was enough answer.

Miffed, Kuroro sat back on his cardboard box and surveyed the cringing Ryodan members with an air of disbelief. "I still cannot believe she is really breaking up with me," he said, chin in hand as he frowned elegantly at the items in the box. "What logical reason would she have for breaking up with me? Midoya is a very rational person, and I cannot imagine her doing anything without a perfectly reasonable explanation for it."

"Well," Machi said with a shrug, "there is one way to find out."

"Indeed," Kuroro said and drew out his phone. "Excuse me for a minute while I call my lover and ask her what on earth she thinks she is doing."

* * *

It was that time of the day where it was too early to be dawn and too late to be night. It was the intermediate stage, the in-between, the liminal space of the day, in other words, the point in thirty-six hours where nothings happens, which was why Midoya was sound asleep when the call came.

The phone ringing drew Midoya out of a restful, dreamless sleep. Groggily, she tried to reach for her phone, but couldn't seem to get her hands out from under her pillow. It took her a while to realise that it was because her head was lying on top of her hands and she had to raise her head to release them.

Clumsily, she extracted her hands and tried to sit up. The world tilted like the craziest rollercoaster ever, and Midoya groaned in agony. She was really hung over. Pepeka and she had gone out last night and boy had it gotten wild. It wasn't easy to get her drunk but when she did, she _did._ Fortunately Pepeka had left before the wild things began. Come to think of it, what were the wild things that had begun? Midoya had the vaguest memories of smashing a bottle over someone's head. That someone may or may not have been Pepeka. Or maybe it was the bartender. Or a random stranger. It could have been anyone. She might even have smashed it over her own head. It would explain the awful pounding in her head…

Her fingers finally found the bloody phone, and she brought it to her eyes, squinting at the Caller ID.

Oh. Midoya closed her eyes. She had been expecting this, but she really didn't feel like dealing with it at the moment. Especially not when she couldn't remember how many vodka shots she had last night. As any good Hunter will tell you, it is always dangerous fighting an intelligent, powerful… enemy when you're drunk, and there are few as intelligent and as powerful as the Dancho of the Genei Ryodan.

It was easier when she dated disposable men, she thought wistfully, they just ended up dead and she needn't have to ever bother about them ever again. It's so much easier to date an idiot she could just kill when he got unbearable. It's just so much easier…

The phone stopped ringing, and Midoya sighed with relief. Thank whatever deity it was that may or may not exist that depending on which theological perspective she was in that particular day…

The phone started ringing again.

Midoya sat up painfully and stared at the phone. He wasn't going to stop, she realised with a sigh. She should have known. He was absolutely relentless once he sets his mind on something. It was endearing - except when that 'something' was her.

Ignoring the way the world spun around her like a demented marry-go-round, Midoya stumbled to the toilet and dropped the phone inside. Then the effort of walking proved too much for her so she ended up vomiting over it. Choosing to take that as a divine sign that she should never talk to him ever again (obviously she was in the ancient Grecian pagan mood today), she flushed everything down with a sense of satisfaction. There. There went the phone. Good riddance too. She felt so much better now. Oh wait, wasn't that her Hunter phone, the one where all Two Star Blacklist Hunter Midoya's contacts were on? Oh… bugger. No matter. Fortunately, she had all her contacts saved in her diary.

Stumbling back into the bedroom, she managed to drag herself to the house phone and call Julius. Within minutes, that number of the phone she had just thrown up on was no longer valid. Instead, she had a brand new number, and within the next two hours, a brand new phone.

In fact, within the next two hours, she had an entirely brand new penthouse to go with her entirely brand new phone. If she could uplift her mansion and move it somewhere else, she would. Since she couldn't (and since a house as big as the Kito mansion was just too distinctive anyway), she would just have to avoid that place for now.

Yes, she was avoiding him, and yes she was aware that would probably drive him up the wall, but she was certain he would get over it. He wasn't the type of person to get sentimental and clingy after all. Besides, Midoya thought as she splashed water on her face, 'Midoya' has had too much fun lately. It was time to return to her other life, which she had been neglecting for a while.

Straightening up, Midoya looked at the face in the mirror, and her face but not her face looked back. It was frozen, she saw, in an expression of cold cruelty, so unmoving it appeared to be carved from marble. There was no warmth in the eyes, no kindness or humanity; her eyes could have been solid balls of coal. Her mouth was a hard, thin line that moved only when she spoke. There would be no smiles from her, no humour, no mercy.

With a brush of her straightened hair, June Kito contemptuously flicked water off her fingers and strode out of the bathroom, her back straight and her head held high. Forget the nausea raging in her stomach, forget the heavy weight that was her head; June Kito had things to do, businesses to ruin and money to make. June Kito didn't have time for meagre things like illnesses or spurned lovers.

As she left the penthouse for the last time, June Kito didn't look back at the apartment she had lived in for years. Instead, she walked straight past a bowing Julius with hardly a glance and headed straight for the garage. There, June Kito climbed into her limousine and set off at a smooth, steady pace, well within the speed limit. The city, brilliant in the early morning sun greeted her as she edged into the streets, gliding past steel buildings glowing in the sun. Already, her mind was filled with investment plans, the stock market and business schemes. Finances needed to be managed, legal issues needed to be cleared, and partners needed to be met.

In June Kito's mind, with just the slightest exertion of will, Kuroro Lucifer ceased to exist entirely.

In hindsight, that was a really dumb thing to do.

* * *

Nobunaga, Machi and Shizuku were practically huddled together as Dancho absently picked up a random novel Shalnark had bought him and systematically started tearing pages out. With that same blank, mildly pensive look on his face, he wandered idly around the base, leaving shreds of paper behind him as he did.

It wasn't a good idea, Nobunaga desperately wanted to tell Dancho, to pace around so much when you had been stabbed through the heart just a few months ago. Yes, Machi is an excellent seamstress and very good with wounds, but it's the fucking _heart_ in question here. Without it, people like totally die. Dancho needed to sit down and stop doing stuff that makes his heart work harder. In fact, Dancho should just crawl back into bed and not get up until the wound was totally, fully, absolutely closed.

All those thoughts went through his mind, but Nobunaga didn't say a thing. It might have been the look on Dancho's face, the one that said he was taking a nice, long walk in a peaceful little garden while contemplating starting a third world war, just because it would be _charming_ to do so.

He was on his seventh round when Nobunaga finally felt the thin strand of patience in him break. "Uh… Dancho?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes, Nobu?" Dancho replied, still looking like he was taking a nice stroll in a pretty little garden with singing zombie birds and wilting, screaming flowers all around him.

"Uh… why… I mean… are you okay? What's up?"

"Oddly enough, I have no idea," Dancho replied, his eyes glassy with either illness or exhaustion or madness. "Midoya isn't picking up her phone."

"Maybe she's busy," Machi suggested warily, her eyes moving from one side to the other endlessly as she diligently tracked Dancho's progress around the base.

Dancho's foot hit an uneven patch of ground and he stumbled a little. All three of them almost shot up to catch him, but he caught his balance easily enough. "Shortly after I called for the fourth time, her number went out of service," he said as he straightened up, pale, elegant fingers still mechanically shredding the book to pieces.

"Oh," Machi said awkwardly and fell silent.

"I called Julius, her doorman," Dancho went on, his eyes becoming even more unfocused, "and was told Miss Midoya Kito was no longer living at that address. There was no… forwarding address."

"Oh," Machi repeated in the same tone and looked like she wanted to crawl into a small, dark place and never come out ever again. Nobunaga would gladly joined her if she found a hole big enough.

"I then called the Kito mansion," Dancho continued, and his eyes were so glazed over by now that he looked dead. "But I was told Lady Kito is on an extended trip and the mansion staff does not expect to hear from her for at least half a year."

"That has to be a lie!" Nobunaga exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "They must hear from her regularly! She's Head of the Kito family and…"

Dancho stopped and gave Nobunaga a mild look that sent him quivering back to his seat. "I am aware of that, Nobu," he said in a voice filled with such infinite kindness and mercy that it sent terror screaming through their veins. "Just as I am aware she must have left some kind of contact detail with Julius. As a blacklist hunter, she operated out of that penthouse, and most of her Hunter allies know to find her there. Julius must have a way of letting her know if someone comes looking for her." Pursing his lips, Dancho started pacing again. "No, Nobu, Julius's little lie is not what bothers me. What bothers me is that Midoya is quite deliberately _avoiding me._" The book finally fell apart completely in Dancho's hands and he stared at it in surprise as if he hadn't been aware of what he had done.

Dancho has lost it, Nobunaga realised with a shudder. Dancho has totally, fucking lost it, and it was obvious to everyone here. They had to do something, like maybe slowly, carefully coax him back to bed. Maybe he just needed to lie down a little. Maybe they wouldn't have to knock him out. Just keep calm… don't agitate him…

"Ah, if she's avoiding you, it means she doesn't want to fuck you anymore," Shizuku said brightly and Nobunaga damned near passed out.

"Shizuku! What the fuck!" he shouted, half-worried that Dancho would come over and remove her head, and half-tempted to remove her own head his damned self.

"It is true," Dancho said thoughtfully, interrupting Nobunaga's outburst. "Avoidance is generally an indication that it is… over between lovers, isn't it?" That brought about another long minute of silence as the Ryodan members stared at Dancho, wondered whether he was going to do something violent and damaging, and tried to decide whether they should stop him or join him.

"Well shit," Machi commented awkwardly after Dancho had been silent for way too long. "Guess that means it's over for good?"

Dancho gave her a look over his shoulder. "Of course it's not," he said sternly. "I haven't decided if I want to end this relationship. If anything, these past few days, I have been leaning more towards forgiving Midoya and moving on from her little game. All of you were right of course; ultimately, her actions had not harmed the Ryodan so I have no reason as Dancho of the Genei Ryodan to move against her. As for her betrayal of me, I have decided that it didn't happen. Technically, the one who needed the Infinity Gem was June Kito, not Midoya, while the person I am dating is Midoya, not June Kito. In short, June Kito was our enemy the last time, and was the one who got Basilio to attack us and all that. Since Midoya wasn't the one who instigated Basilio's attack on the Ryodan, she didn't betray me. I'm sure most of you have noticed by now that they are two different people, June Kito and Midoya Kito."

All of that flew right past his Ryodan, but Dancho ignored their confused look in favour of pacing more vigorously around the base. Nobunaga cringed and quickly reviewed the things he had learned in the first-aid classes he started taking shortly after Ubo's death.

Machi coughed. "Well okay, Dancho," she said slowly. "What do you intend to do about this then?"

Colour rushed into Dancho's face at that. None of them had ever seen Dancho that flushed before. It had to be the fever, Nobunaga realised with a jolt of panic, Dancho must still be ill or something. "Interesting question," he said, sounding almost like an evil scientist being _asked exactly what he intended to do with that diabolical machine he had invented_. However, instead of answering the question in a suitably evil voice, Dancho turned around and headed back to his bedroom. "I'm going to take a nap and think this over," he announced over his shoulder. "Don't disturb me."

"Alright. Don't think too hard," Nobunaga couldn't resist saying. "And remember to eat your antibiotics! And uh… let us know when you decide!"

"Yes, Nobu," Dancho said, suddenly seemingly amiable and in a good mood. "Of course I will. Goodnight." The last thing they saw before the door closed was Dancho's smile, as innocent as a child's and as sweet as a heavenly chorus of angels.

"Huh," Nobunaga commented, breaking the silence in the wake of Dancho's departure. "What do you think Dancho will do?"

Machi shrugged. "Beats me," she said. "I think we will be pitying Kito by the end of it though."

"Huh," Nobunaga repeated, looking disheartened. "Fuck. And I liked the two of them together too."

"That's life for you, always ruining everything nice and stuff," Machi said philosophically and settled down to take her nap herself.

Three hours and forty-two minutes later, they discovered Dancho was gone.

* * *

Shalnark was sitting in his apartment, smashing in the head of the wicked Goblin King of Westshire when the call came in. Frowning, Shalnark glanced at the phone and wondered if it was something he could put off. But no, of course not. Very few people knew his personal phone number, and almost all of those people were Ryodan members. No matter what, Ryodan business was not something that he could just ignore.

Sighing, Shalnark paused the game and picked up the phone. "Hello," he greeted cheerfully, just in case it was Dancho on the phone. A torrent of incoherent babble that sounded nothing like the man he admired greeted him back. "Slow down!" Shalnark protested. "Who is this and what is this about?"

"_It's Nobu! Argh, fuck it! That's not important, you stupid dork! Shalnark! You've got to come back! Dancho's gone bonkers! He's gone motherfucking bonkers!"_

Shalnark stared at the phone. "Have you been drinking, Nobu?" he asked warily. "I mean, most of the time, Dancho is a little insane anyway, even by Meteor City standards. What's new?"

"_What's new? What's NEW?"_

"That's what I asked!" Shalnark shouted. "Hurry up! I'm in the middle of a game."

"_Fuck your game! Shalnark, you've seriously got to help us! Dancho's gone off to York Shin!" _

"So?" Shalnark asked confusedly. "If he's going to York Shin, he's probably just looking for Kito right? If anything happens to him, Kito will take care of him. She did send those doctors over the last time so we know she wants Dancho alive."

"_Yes! No! I mean… Yes! Argh! No, you don't get it! She's doing the box thing and I think Dancho's pretty pissed off with her! I think he's going to do stuff to her!"_

Shalnark frowned. "What 'stuff' are you talking about?" he asked patiently, because getting upset with Nobunaga only made him more incoherent. "You think Dancho intends to hurt Kito? Not to be mean or anything because I do respect Kito a fair bit, but is that really any of our business? If Dancho decides to kill Kito, I mean… really now… that's something between them, isn't it? We really shouldn't interfere at all."

"_Oh really? And what if I told you he took all the explosives we accumulated for her funeral?"_

Now that got Shalnark's attention. "He took all of it?" he asked hesitantly. "We had an entire warehouse full. What does he intend to do with that?"

"_I'm not sure! That's the problem!" _

That was a problem indeed. "Nobu," he said very slowly, "what is going on?"

"_It's the worst! Kito's gave Dancho back his underwear and now he's gone motherfucking bonkers!"_

"Underwear? Why one earth would Dancho go bonkers because she returned his underwear to him? I would be quite pleased if someone returned lost underwear to me. Not that I would ever dare wear it again, because who knows where it has been in that period of…"

"_It's not the underwear! It's what it means, you dumbass! She DUMPED him! She fucking dumped Dancho!"_

Oh… no. Shalnark closed his eyes and slowly considered the possible scenarios before him. All of them involved a very obsessive and possessive Dancho with a hole in his heart running around York Shin doing very dangerous and life-threatening things. Most of them featured Dancho smiling happily, his eyes glowing blue and orange, as the entire city burned to the ground. None of them ended well. "Nobu," he said calmly. "Start from the beginning and tell me what the hell is going on."

Finally, Nobunaga took a deep breath and started telling Shalnark what had happened. He talked about the box, Dancho's underwear and the now missing Kito. By the time Nobu got to the part where Kito was no longer living at her old penthouse, Shalnark had gotten a very clear and very scary idea of what was happening at the moment.

"Okay, I got it," he told Nobunaga. "Listen, just keep it between the four of us first. I'm going to head to York Shin. I'll meet you guys there by tomorrow latest. I know where all our bases in York Shin are. We can probably locate Dancho quite easily if he goes to any of them. So, just keep it together, okay? And wait for me."

"_Okay,"_ Nobunaga replied, sounding a lot more relieved. _"Hurry, man! We're going to catch the flight now."_

"I'll try," Shalnark promised. Hanging up, he stared sightlessly at the paused game. This was… not good. Was Dancho planning some kind of mass destruction? That was certainly what the acquisition of the explosives suggested. If he was… and if he was planning to wreck destruction on _Midoya June Kito_, he was essentially kicking over a very, _very_ big bee hive. The consequences would be unimportant if the Ryodan was involved and if Dancho was in perfect health. However, with the Ryodan members scattered all over the globe and Dancho still recovering… the consequences of messing with a powerful Hunter and honourary Mafioso would be… disastrous.

Well, no point worrying about it. Quickly, Shalnark closed the game and started to load a webpage. The only thing he could do now was get to York Shin and hope Dancho actually had a plan in mind.

* * *

The meeting was long and it was boring. Absorbed in the fact sheets before him, the accountant barely even met her eyes as he read in a shaky voice from them.

June Kito glanced out of the window of her office, at the cold winter sun and overcast clouds.

What a beautiful day it was.

-break-

The last time he had been in York Shin had been barely a month ago. At that time, the weather had been cold and chilly. Unfortunately, Kuroro mused, as he dragged on a pair of leather gloves and pulled his coat closer around him, that hadn't changed within that month. The wind was as cold as ever, and York Shin's ever-present rain had turned into snow. It wasn't so deep that Kuroro would need a shovel to get through, but it was high enough that his feet felt cold in his boots. In fact, though he was currently nestled in the newly-acquired abandoned warehouse (aka base), Kuroro was still shivering in his coat.

"_Dancho, you okay?" _Nobunaga asked_ "Do you need another sweater or something?" _

Kuroro glanced at the laptop screen in front of him and had to smile. Shortly after landing in the York Shin airport, he had gotten a call from Shalnark informing him that the Nobu, Machi and Shizuku were coming to York Shin to find him. Immediately, Kuroro had protested that he didn't want them around and that he wasn't going back to Meteor City until he had resolved this issue with Midoya. However, Shalnark had pointed out, quite reasonably, that Kuroro was firstly, going against the highly elusive Blacklist Hunter Midoya and could definitely use more help when hunting her down, and secondly, trying to escape his relentless, stubborn Ryodan keen on making sure he didn't kneel over at the slightest rise in heart rate. "Just let them hang out with you," Shalnark had pleaded. "They could come in useful, and it will stop them from doing stupid things in York Shin looking for you."

Stubbornly, Kuroro had refused to allow the Ryodan to interfere. This was his private affair, and he had no intention of letting them meddle with it. However, he did agree to keep in contact with the Ryodan, so they at least knew he was alive, hence, the current video conference. It wasn't the safest way to communicate, but it was the only way he could talk with all of the Ryodan members at the same time without giving away his location.

"I am fine, Nobu," he said finally since the wrinkles on Nobunaga's face were getting more and more pronounced the longer he was silent. "Perfectly fine."

"_If you're sure, Dancho_," Machi said, coming up from behind Nobunaga and peering at the screen in a way that told him his nose was probably turning blue.

"I am absolutely positive," Kuroro assured her.

"_Your nose is turning blue,"_ Machi observed critically, cementing his hypothesis.

"_As are your lips,"_ Shizuku agreed, peeking over Kuroro's other shoulder.

"I am as warm as I'm going to get," Kuroro said with a sigh. How unfortunate that it was the truth. Today, he was wearing not just a shirt, but a thick woolly sweater and a scarf as well. He had never worn so much clothing in his life, and he was positive his skin was going to break out in rash from it. But he didn't have a choice. Ever since he had been stabbed in the heart by Midoya, he had been, for lack of a better phrase, feeling changes in temperature more acutely than he used to, and the cold right now was just about killing him. "Besides, I like blue," Kuroro replied with a shrug and Machi gave him a glare that would have sent most hardened war veterans running. "I honestly don't know why all of you had to come along anyway," he went on, ignoring Machi's death-glare with the confidence brought on by the knowledge that she couldn't thwack his head through the laptop screen. "This is a rather personal mission, if I must say so."

"_You're fucking insane, Dancho,"_ Machi said bluntly, and that was enough to let him know she was genuinely worried. _"But since our Dancho is going mental, we're just going to have to go along with it. We're your arms and legs, remember?" _

"_If you're going insane, we're going insane with you," _Nobunaga agreed and there was an embarrassing glint of tears in his eyes.

"This is a personal mission," Kuroro repeated for what had to be the twentieth time. "Go back to Meteor City and wait for my orders."

"_But we're already on a blimp,"_ Nobunaga protested. _"We're only three hours away from you. Let us help you, please! I swear, we will only do what you tell us to. We'll follow your orders strictly, to the words. Promise." _

It seemed like Shalnark had a point. Kuroro sighed. "Alright," he finally conceded, " you can help, but only with logistics. I don't intend to let any of you take part in my mission against Midoya. It will be counter-productive in so many ways. For that purpose, I am not letting any of you know where I am."

"_But Dancho…"_ Nobunaga whined then stopped with a frustrated sigh. _"You're not going to relent, are you?" _

"_Just be glad Dancho's willing to compromise," _Machi advised and Kuroro nodded sagely.

"I am at the limits of my patience," Kuroro scolded sternly. "Do not ask anymore of me or I shall truly get angry."

"_Okay, okay,"_ Nobunaga grumbled. _"We'll help with logistics. Let's wait for Shal? He's coming online soon."_

Kuroro tilted his head in confusion at that statement. "Why must we wait for Shalnark, the only person in the Ryodan who has difficulty getting laid, despite looking relatively normal and harmless?" he asked bluntly.

All three Ryodan members stared at him with varying degrees of confusion. _"What…" _Machi began_, "what does Shalnark's inability to get laid have to do with this? I mean, I get what a joke he is, but…?" _

Kuroro stared back with an equal degree of confusion. "How does it not have anything to do with this?" he countered. "I would have thought the ability to attract a partner would be very useful in a case like this."

Now all three Ryodan members were looking at him like he was perhaps not quite _there_. _"Dancho,"_ Nobunaga said cautiously, _"exactly what are you doing in York Shin?" _

"What am I _doing_?" Kuroro cocked his head curiously at them then gestured to the pile of explosives behind him, tilting the laptop so they could see it. "You mean you can't tell?" he asked incredulously. "Is there not enough evidence here for you?"

Three sets of eyes went to the explosives_. "You are going to attack Kito?"_ Nobunaga hazarded.

"Attack? God forbid," Kuroro said, surprised, "I'm not going to attack Midoya. Why would I do that? What made you think that?"

"_Uh…"_ Nobunaga's eyes flickered to the explosives. _"Nothing?" _

"_Oh! Are you throwing a party because we couldn't do a funeral for Kito the last time?"_ Shizuku ventured hopefully.

"No," Kuroro said. "I'm not throwing a party. It is a much better guess than Nobu's though. I congratulate you, Shizuku."

"_Then what do you intend to do?"_ Nobunaga asked in a frustrated voice as Shizuku beamed proudly behind him.

"Isn't it obvious?" Lightning flashed in the distance, turning Kuroro's face into a stark picture of white skin, black hollowed cheeks and an eerie smile "I'm going to find Midoya and I am going to make her my lover again."

* * *

"You are going to make her your lover again?" That was the first thing Shalnark heard the moment he entered into the video conference with Dancho.

Shortly after getting on the blimp to York Shin, Shalnark's first act had been to attempt to contact Kito. Unfortunately, all that accomplished was affirming that what Nobunaga told him had been correct: Kito's number was no longer in service. Secondly, he briefly considered contacting Timbal, but then he remembered that Timbal hadn't been part of the Infinity Gem mess. It was best to just leave him out of the equation or he could risk complicating the situation even more, especially if Dancho truly intended to kill Kito. Now that he knew that route was a dead end, the third thing he did was to join the video conference with Dancho in order to confirm what Dancho had in mind.

Of all the things he had been expecting Dancho to say, he certainly hadn't expected _that_.

From the look of mild surprise on Dancho's face, he had obviously thought that his actions and motives had been very easy to read. The man, Shalnark felt, obviously over-estimated them quite a bit. Not all the members of the Ryodan were famous for having a marvellously astute intellect like Dancho. But in their defence, Shalnark thought, after hearing a summary of the discussion so far, "The explosives seem kind of… unromantic, don't they?" he pointed out with what he felt was a great deal of reason.

Dancho cocked his head at him curiously. _"Is it?"_ he asked with genuine curiosity. _"I always thought explosions are rather sexual. There are so many love songs about fires and burning and heat after all. And what generates more fire, heat and burning things than a good block of dynamite? I know from experience that this is true. Once, in the Lori Swamps, Midoya and I got rather aroused after blowing up a giant spider with fireworks. Though some might claim it might have simply been the beer, I personally feel the fireworks, mayhem and death around led to us almost coupling in the middle of a swamp." Dancho paused. "We stopped only because it started to rain. Rain is not arousing in any way whatsoever. It is wet, cold, uncomfortable and makes you vulnerable to pneumonia. Pneumonia isn't sexy either. Fluid in the lungs generally doesn't make for good sex." _

Dancho's logic, Shalnark thought, highly impressed, was quite impeccable. "I suppose that is true," he admitted. "So that's your game plan? Set off explosives around Kito's house or something like that?"

"_Don't be silly, Shal, of course that's not what I plan to do,"_ Dancho replied sternly_. "I don't even know where she is living at the moment so I can't exactly set off explosives around her 'house'. Since she hasn't been answering my calls and has, as the saying goes, disappeared off my radar entirely, there is only one other way left to meet her and that is to draw her out of hiding. Those explosives will be for that." _

Yet again, Dancho's logic was faultless. "Good point," Shalnark said with great admiration. "Anyone would notice if explosives were going off all around York Shin. That will surely draw her out into the open."

"_Yes, but that is not enough,"_ Shizuku added. _"I think winning a girl's heart back needs to be personal. That's what the television says about winning back a woman's heart. Make it personal. And nostalgic. Remind her of the good times and all that sort of things. I mean, you wouldn't want her to think that every time we blow up something, we're courting the owner of whichever building we blow up. It'll just make her feel weird every time she hears that we've attacked the mafia auctions again. You have to make her feel special."_ She blinked at them. _"That is… who are we talking about again?" _

"_I was going to say that!"_ Nobunaga blurted out in a rush. From the flushed look on his face, Shalnark guessed that Nobu had been holding in his words for a long time. _"You know, Dancho,"_ Nobunaga said, sounding almost desperate, _"there's more to winning back a girl's heart than blowing up stuff. I mean, women like… nice stuff. Pretty stuff." _

"_Pretty stuff?" _Dancho questioned. _"What do you mean by that, Nobunaga?"_ His eyes darted from screen to screen, obviously observing their expressions. _"I have never attempted to court a woman, much less a woman brought up in normal society before so I am quite open to suggestions here. Is Nobunaga suggesting I rob an art gallery or something like that?" _

"_Yes! That would be a great idea! I mean, if Kito likes art, that is. Or… or… you could get her like… jewellery or ribbons or…" _

"_Makeup!"_ Dancho said, his expression lighting up_. "Midoya likes makeup, which is, as I understand it, also a way of beautifying oneself, though the way Midoya uses it sometimes makes me suspect she does it to do quite the opposite. Yes, I see your point, Nobunaga; it is always a good idea to give a person what they like when trying to re-establish a relationship."_ He paused, frowning as he rubbed his chin. _"The problem is incorporating that into an explosion."_

"_Perhaps we can load the bomb with lipsticks so they shoot out when the bomb goes off?"_ Shizuku suggested brightly.

"Wouldn't be nice if one of them hits Kito though," Shalnark pointed out logically. "Death by lipstick; that's not a way I want to go."

"_Don't be silly, Shalnark,"_ Dancho scolded. _"Midoya's not the kind of person who can be killed by cosmetic products travelling faster than the speed of sound."_

"True, Dancho."

Nobunaga made a distressed sound. _"There's more than just makeup,"_ he groaned. _"I mean… flowers! Women like flowers, right Machi?"_

Machi, who had obviously been daydreaming in the background, started and flushed as the other four looked at her. _"I… guess?"_ she said hesitantly, because though she had never really acquired a taste for flowers, she had seen women enjoy receiving bouquets on television. And since television was where Machi turned to when she needed to fake normality, she supposed it was alright to say so. Not that Kito struck her as being _normal_ or anything like that…

"_Flowers. There might be something to that, Nobu,"_ Dancho mused, his hand on his chin as he thought. _"I have given Midoya flowers before." _

"_You have?"_ Nobunaga asked, brightening up_. "Did she like them?" _

"_Of course she did,"_ Dancho said patiently, _"they came from her own kitchen. She must like them if she puts them there."_

For a moment, Nobu looked like he was going to pass out. Shalnark had no idea why; Dancho was making as much sense as he normally did. _"And there's more!"_ Nobu cried wretchedly. _"Women like soft things, like teddy bears… and… and pretty clothes and underwear… and music! That's what women like to get when being courted!" _

"_Really?"_ Shizuku asked Machi.

"_Uh… I suppose?"_ Machi replied with a shrug_. "I'm not sure about the teddy bears, but once this guy once bought me a thong that was kind of more string than cloth. That was pretty hot." _

"_See?" _Nobunaga exclaimed. Then what Machi just said struck him and his jaw dropped in shock. _"That is disgusting!"_ he cried, horrified.

"_How the hell is that disgusting? You were the one who mentioned underwear in the first place, and thongs are fucking sexy, alright?" _

"_Machi, you obviously have a different opinion from Nobu,"_ Dancho interrupted_. "Since we've heard his perspective already, let's hear yours now." _

Distracted from her argument with Nobunaga, Machi blinked and scratched her head_. "Uh… how do I normally get laid,"_ she muttered. _"Well, normally I walk into a bar, and walk up to the cutest guy, and pretty much go, 'Hey, let's fuck'. Then we end up in the toilet or a hotel if I'm in the mood for something a little longer than a quickie. And then I take their wallets and clothes, and leave them naked and unconscious or screaming obscenities after me. Sometimes I kill them if they really get on my nerves." _

"_That's not very helpful,"_ Dancho frowned_, "Midoya and I are, I believe, beyond the stage of spontaneous one-night stands. The opportunity for regular, free sex that wouldn't end in bloodshed is one of the benefits of being with her." _Ignoring the way Nobunaga's face was going into spasms, Dancho added, _"How about you, Shizuku?" _

"_Umm,"_ Shizuku said thoughtfully as she twiddled her fingers_. "I normally whack them over the head with Deme-chan then vacuum their remains up." _

The spasms stopped in favour of frozen horror. _"What?"_ Nobunaga exclaimed with a look of horror on his face. _"You whack your lovers over the head with your vacuum cleaner and then vacuum them up?" _

"_Lovers?"_ Shizuku tilted her head in surprise_. "We are talking about killing people, right? Oh, I get it! Are we using 'lovers' as a euphemism for people we killed?"_

Dancho shook his head disappointedly as Nobunaga howled with frustration. _"I do not think that these methods will work,"_ he said firmly. _"I believe I should simply find Midoya and lay out to her in a logical and reasonable fashion why I believe we should continue our relationship of mutual benefit. Both Midoya and I are cerebrally-inclined individuals, so it makes sense to do that. If the logic is sound, I do not see why she wouldn't agree with me." _

"_Dancho! You don't get it! Love… isn't about the brain! It's about here!"_ Nobunaga protested, thumping his chest with a clenched fist.

Dancho cocked his head and stared at the area Nobunaga was passionately pounding against. _"The sternum?"_ he questioned dubiously.

"_Not the sternum! The heart!" _

"_That's not where your heart is, Nobu. The heart is a little lower…" _

"_I know where the heart is! I've stabbed enough hearts in my time to know, damn it!"_ Nobunaga howled. _"My point is, love isn't about the brain!"_

"Actually," Shalnark said brightly, "love _is_ about the brain. When a person experiences sensations of sexual desire or affection, hormones like oxytocin and doramine are produced in the…"

"_That's not the point!' _Nobunaga interrupted_. "I mean love is about feelings damn it!"_

"Yes, and feelings are caused by hormones that…"

"_Well you shut the fuck up, nerd?_" Nobunaga snapped. _"Dancho! Listen to me, not him! At least write Kito a love poem! Women like love poems!" _

Dancho, who had been frowning at their bickering, blinked at that. _"A poem?" _he mused. _"It is possible, I suppose. Midoya is very fond of literature, though I have found her tastes run more towards prose than verse. Furthermore, I must confess that I have never seen her read a love poem in all the years we've been together. I am really not sure this poem thing works, Nobu. Besides, I don't love Midoya. I simply desire her many talents and her quite stimulating company." _

"_Stimulating,"_ Machi sniggered.

"_Okay, how about this,"_ Nobunaga said desperately, _"how did you first pursue her, Dancho? I mean, you must have done something to get together with her in the first place, right?" _

Dancho blinked and stared at the ceiling pensively_. "I didn't,"_ he said slowly, _"she was the one who initiated our first contact." _

"_And how did she do that?" _

Dancho's eyes lost focus as he thought. _"She broke an intruder's back, asked me if the couch was really that comfortable then pushed me onto the bed before giving me a very pleasant if somewhat premature orgasm,"_ he finally announced.

Nobunaga started to splutter incoherently while Machi pointed out that she thought that _that_ was a pretty darn good way of courting anyone.

"Actually," Shalnark said reasonably, "it can't hurt to try _all_ the methods, right Dancho? I mean, since according to Nobu, these things, these poems, flowers and so on, are acceptable ways of courting a woman in normal society, presumably some of them must work. And since Kito is from normal society, no matter how eccentric she is, some of them must appeal to her. However, given that we don't know what Kito likes personally, since she courted Dancho first, we don't know which method in particular. If we try them all, at least one method will succeed."

Dancho's face lit up at that. _"That is an excellent suggestion, Shalnark,"_ he said, sounding pleased. _"Yes, you are right. Midoya is her own person after all, so surely she must have her own preferences on how she likes to be courted. Furthermore, she is an extremely complex person with a very complicated life. I should have foreseen that no one method will work on her. It is best to present a combination of various tried and tested methods, and see how the results pan out." _

"_So you are going to give her flowers and a love poem?"_ Nobunaga asked hopefully.

"_And fireworks,"_ Dancho said decisively as he started rubbing his chin again. _"Midoya likes fireworks, especially blue and white ones. She also likes hunting occasionally, but only certain animals. I know she doesn't like to hunt cats, but not much else. Just to be safe, we should get her the trophy of an animal I have seen her hunt before. Shalnark, help me obtain a specimen of an alligator from the Lori Swamps." _

"Live one?" Shalnark asked with barely a twitch, because that wasn't even close to the weirdest order Dancho had ever given.

"_Either way works."_ Dancho smiled in that way that always sent chills down their spines. _"I doubt it will survive if it's still alive anyway." _

"Survive what?" Shalnark asked as Nobunaga, obviously having given up, sulked in silence. "How are you planning on doing this, Dancho?"

At that, Dancho's eyes started to glow an eerie blue_. "The only way, Shalnark,"_ he said, his voice soft and even, _"the Ryodan way."_ Looking around at them, Dancho's smile widened into a sweet, innocent, child-like smile. _"So,"_ he said, his tone suddenly light and conversational, _"how many of you have been to a brothel before?" _

* * *

A/N: Really, please forgive me. Yeah… I did say this story is going to be weird and crazy. Hopefully it wouldn't be weird and crazy in a _bad_ way. Hopefully.

Anyway, I realised I did have to make a little note here about Midoya/June. Throughout this entire story, you will see the two names being used, even within the same chapter/segment. That is because I've decided to give Midoya a split personality. So when the name 'Midoya' is used, it means she's the one thinking/talking/acting whatever and when 'June' is used, June is the one doing all those. So, the names are used deliberately to indicate who is in control at the moment.

And that's about it. Hope you enjoyed the chapter; do look forward to chapter updates every week and I'll see you all next week.

Trivial: The weirdest order Kuroro Lucifer had ever given the Ryodan went as such:

"Shalnark, help me find a pink night-slip with teddy bears and unicorns on it on it. Koltopi, reproduce five hundred of that. Phinx and Feitan, steal a couple of beach umbrellas, waterproof tarps and whips. Nobunaga and Franklin, dig a hole eight feet across and ten feet deep at the location I have marked on this map. Machi and Shizuku, fill the hole with flowers, preferably roses please, but carnations would do just fine too. Pakunoda and Bonolenov, find me ten cats, ten dogs, two parakeets, five rats, three pigeons, five hundred cockroaches and one alligator. Hisoka, familiarise yourself with the works of Alfred Tennyson, Samuel Coleridge and John Keats, and learn to speak in a British accent. Ubogin, strip."

Later, everyone, even Hisoka agreed, that was the best mission _ever_.


	2. Burning the Rose Petal Boudoir

**A/N:** The sequel to "A Series of Very Criminal Activities".

This is a very weird and… crazy story. It's not much of an action story (though of course with the Ryodan involved, you can't avoid all the violence and gore etc entirely). The Ryodan wouldn't appear much either, because it is a romance story and the Ryodan isn't very romantic in my opinion, so for those who wanted to see more of the Ryodan, I apologise.

And… I have nothing else to say but this: please forgive me, I knew not what I have done.

Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me.

* * *

Burning the_ Rose Petal Boudoir_

If one happened to walk by the large window framed with velvet blood-red curtains and glanced in, one would have seen a spacious room with rose-coloured walls and luxurious carpets. One would have heard the music that ghosted in the background, soft, gentle and bland. One would have smelled the air-conditioned air that was infused with the potpourri scent of rose and lavender, sweet and sensual, but somehow relaxing. One would also have to be capable of walking on air to see into that window since it was a good fifty stories high.

That was the way she liked it. It's so much harder to break into a room that high up and privacy was almost guaranteed. That was necessary for the kind of business she conducted.

She sat behind a heavy oak table, rifling through paper. Even alone in her office, her face remained cold and impassive, as emotionless as a doll and as cruel as a murderer's. This remained the case even when the door opened unexpectedly to admit a petite, pretty blonde girl.

"Miss Kito," the girl greeted nervously.

June Kito looked up from the paperwork in front of her and eyed her secretary sternly. "Sally," she replied coldly. "I told you I was not to be interrupted."

"I… I'm sorry, Miss Kito," Sally Temple, young, seventeen and absolutely clueless stammered, and bit her lower lip. Short, skinny and blonde, she didn't look like the kind of person that should be working for the infamous June Kito. In fact, standing in the sensual rose-coloured room that was June's office, she looked even more innocent and helpless. She looked like the heroine of a Samuel Richardson novel, one who should be treated with softness and kindness. If she hadn't been the daughter of a powerful mafia don, June would never have hired her, and even then, it had been a close call. They were working in a brothel after all; the high-rise _Velvet House_ was a high-class brothel with an expensive gym, restaurants, spa and _other_ services. It was hardly the place for a minor.

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, June asked, "So what is it, Sally, that you felt the need to interrupt me when I explicitly told you not to?"

Sally swallowed hard and blushed appealingly. "I'm sorry, Miss Kito," she repeated. "Father is here to meet you and he insisted…"

But of course he insisted. June sighed inwardly. No matter how astute and sharp a businessman he was, Richard Temple was still a boar, a rude, intrusive boar who had very little regard for such things as 'privacy' and 'good manners'. Unfortunately, he was also head of the Temple family, a much more powerful family than the Kito family. That would change in the next five years or so given that the Temple family hadn't grown in ten years while the Kito estate had expanded dramatically. But before that happened, June had to play the good little girl and be _nice_. "Show him in then," she said and managed to keep the resignation out of her voice.

Before she was even done speaking, Richard Temple was already pushing through, grinning widely at her. Though Temple had to be close sixty, he still looked like a well-preserved forty-year old man, with a large, beefy build that was only just starting to go soft. His hair was mostly dark brown, though it greyed at the temples, and he spotted a neatly-trimmed beard.

"Mr Temple," June greeted unsmilingly as she rose from her seat and offered him her hand.

"June!" he boomed, ignoring her out-stretched hand in favour of ruffling her hair, messing up the chignon she had taken ages to perfect. "It's good to see you again, my girl! How have things been? Good?"

"Excellent," June Kito replied with icy politeness, even as deep down, Midoya woke up and regarded Richard Temple with a sweet smile topped by a basilisk stare. "How may I help you today, Mr Temple?"

Even though she hadn't invited him to, he plopped down on one of those plush purple seats reserved for visitors. "Oh you silly girl. I've always told you to call me 'Richard', haven't I? I'm just here for a visit," he said, his voice loud and boisterous even though they were alone in the room, "and to check on my precious Sally. I hope she's been of some use, that girl?"

"She's been wonderful," June lied smoothly. "Though I must ask that you reconsider letting her work in a place like this. It _is_ a brothel after all and…"

"Nonsense!" Temple exclaimed, blatantly talking over her. "If it's good enough for my little June, it's good enough for my girl. Maybe she'll even learn a trick or two from you, huh?" He winked chummily at her and laughed.

June Kito had to struggle to stop Midoya's smile from spreading across her face. She knew what happened when Midoya smiled like that. Bad things happened; like intestines and blood flying everywhere. Now was not the time for that. Not yet. She didn't want to get the carpets dirty. "You're her father," she said instead, with a shrug.

"Yes, of course, just like I would like you to consider me yours." Smiling in a way he no doubt thought was charming, Temple reached forward and clasped her hand. "Dear June, I remember the times when your father was still alive."

Oh no, not again. Father and he had barely been friends, and even if they had been, it was only more reason to dislike this brute. "As do I," June replied with a chilly smile, knowing that her hands must feel uncomfortably like chunks of ice in his. Kuroro always complained about how cold her hands were when she touched him. Not that he ever stopped her from doing so, especially if what she was touching was a certain part of his anatomy.

"When your father died," Temple was saying, "I swore to his grave that I would do anything in my power to make sure his only daughter grew up well and happy."

He and about fifty other men who had suddenly became her best friends once she became Head of the Kito estate, June thought wryly. That's how often she heard this opening line. How odd no one ever thought to make sure the poor little June locked up in a mental asylum was growing up happy and healthy. "Very kind of you," she murmured.

"If there's anything you need, you know you can come to me," Temple said, beaming kindly as he patted her hands.

"Very kind of you," June repeated because she was already getting sick of his presence. As politely as she could, she retracted her hands from his and placed them on her lap, well out of reach. "Would you like to check on Sally?" she asked. "I can give her half an hour off if you like."

"Check on Sally?" For a moment, Temple looked like he didn't remember who 'Sally' was. Then his mouth parted in comprehension. "Oh, oh yes," he smiled, "my little Sally. She is very precious to me, you know? All daughters are precious to their fathers."

"Of course," June said, pressing the bell that summoned Sally in. "I hope to see you around soon, Mr Temple."

"Oh, you will," he promised with a sunny smile. "You will." He reached over to shake her hand and she offered it again. But instead of shaking it, he leaned over it and kissed it wetly.

Oh. How _foul_.

The moment his daughter ushered him out of the room, June leaned back in her armchair and allowed a little of Midoya's bloodlust to shimmer through her aura. It would be fun to hunt Richard Temple, wouldn't it? He was a very powerful mafia don after all, and surely the hunt would be a magnificent one. He had so many places to burrow into, so many thugs he could send against her. Oh, it would be fun. Very fun. If she could figure out a way to get around the…

"Miss Kito!" Sally cried, bursting back into the room.

Midoya's fingers twitched and almost put a throwing knife right through that slender throat. Fortunately, June managed to stop the reflexive action just in time. "What is it?" June asked, slamming all the restraints back onto Midoya and shoving her as deep down as she could.

"Oh, Miss Kito, it's the worst news!" Sally cried, slender fingers fluttering helplessly. "It's the worst news! I have no idea what to do! Oh, Miss Kito!"

June fixed her with a stare that stopped her panic attack immediately. "What is it, Sally?" she demanded.

Sally took a deep breath and shakily whispered, "The _Rose Petal Boudoir_ is on fire!"

* * *

The lady in the Victorian dress was leaning towards him, far enough that she wasn't touching him but close enough for him to feel the warmth of her body. Since she was obviously trying to seduce him, he obligingly smiled at her, glanced at her breasts and patted her knee fondly. In reply, she blushed and smiled coquettishly. Though she hid her lips with an intricately-designed fan, her eyes beamed warm sunshine at him. If it was an act, it was a convincing act. He could almost believe she genuinely liked him.

But of course, that was the illusion that men came to brothels to have.

With an appealing grace, she poured tea into a gold-rimmed teacup and started arranging pastries into a neat little pile. As she was focused on setting the food in front of him, he swiftly deposited the package under the table, in the far corner where it was less likely to be noticed.

He straightened up just in time to receive a dainty slice of chiffon cake. Her hands lingered on his, but he politely withdrew from her touch. She was a very nice woman, very pretty and refined, but it would not do for him to touch her. That was not what he was here for after all. In fact, having accomplished what he had come here to do, it was time to leave. Precisely, he needed to leave within twenty minutes because things were going to get very… hot.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked.

"Fire," Kuroro Lucifer replied, his lips curving into an inimical smile around the rim of his tea cup. "Hell fire and the poor souls that burn in it."

* * *

The building was on fire. That, June decided as she climbed out of her car and stared at the burning wreckage in front of her, was like saying an iceberg is a piece of frozen water. It just barely began to describe what she was seeing.

The good news was that the _Rose Petal Boudoir_ was still mostly standing, from the first floor to the third. All the other floors above had collapsed onto the surrounding areas. The bad news, however, was that the parts that were still standing were covered entirely in blazing hot flames June could feel even from where she was. Incongruously, bright, white and blue flares were shooting out of the building, lighting up the cold night sky like distress beacons.

"Are those fireworks?" Sally asked from behind her, sounding like she was almost in tears.

"Yes," June Kito replied with cold anger even as deep inside, Midoya murmured appreciatively, "My favourite. How lovely they look." That was an interesting thought. Very few people in the world knew she liked fireworks. Even fewer people knew she liked blue and white fireworks together the most. In fact, she could count the number of people who knew her preferences on one hand. Not that the fireworks necessarily meant anything; it could be a coincidence.

Heh. Right. Coincidence.

"Are you the owner of this building?"

The rough, masculine voice shook her out of her thoughts and Midoya opened her eyes to look at the figure in front of her. Nice face, handsome in a rugged way that had never appealed to either June or Midoya, piercing blue eyes, brown stubble, tanned skin, muscular, nice butt ("Very nice butt", Midoya murmured with a predatory gleam in her eyes)… and a badge. Ah. "Yes I am," June replied, offering her hand. "June Kito, CEO of Kito enterprises."

"Detective Bran," the tall, muscular man replied, gripping her hand in a crushing handgrip that would have made her wince if she hadn't anticipated it. Despite the influence the Mafia had on politics in York Shin, there were still some who openly disliked them. Midoya had a feeling Detective Bran was one of those people. "Pity about your whore house, huh?" he commented, cementing that opinion.

Midoya giggled and June shushed her angrily. "Your sympathy is most gratifying," June Kito replied baldly, because though Midoya thought his aggression was cute, June Kito was not the kind to respond kindly to insults. "Casualties?"

"No one died," Detective Bran replied with a shrug that implied he couldn't have cared less. "Some of your whores said the fire alarm started about ten or fifteen minutes before the explosion. Everyone got out in time. Kind of neat, huh?"

Ah. So Detective Bran wasn't just being hostile; he had genuine reason to be suspicious. He was still being very rude though, June pointed out wryly, and Midoya was forced to concede that Detective Bran wasn't a very pleasant person. "Very neat," June Kito agreed with little humour. "We were most lucky."

"Uh huh." The piercing blue eyes, framed by thick, dark lashes, narrowed menacingly at her. "Still, it is weird no one died at all, isn't it?"

Indeed it was, Midoya had to admit. It was really significant that no one died, that whoever took the trouble to blow up the _Rose Petal_ had also taken the trouble to warn the employees and customers beforehand. How exactly it was significant, she could not tell. This could be someone's idea of an elaborate prank. Young people still blew high-rise buildings up as pranks right? At least she did in her youth. It's really easy and a great load of fun. All you needed to do was to steal the blueprints of the building and…

Realising the good Detective Bran was still glaring darkly at her, June replied, "I would say it is good nobody died. I would have appreciated the gesture even more if it didn't involve the destruction of my building." Both Midoya and June were in agreement with that.

"Yeah, about that," the detective said, moving his admittedly good-looking bulk towards her so he loomed over her like a giant mountain of man-flesh, "how about you tell me how your insurance is like, huh?"

Aw, he was trying to _intimidate_ her. How sweet. Too bad he wasn't good at it. The real masters, like Kuroro, could intimidate a person from half way around the globe without even raising their voices. His little amateurish attempt made Midoya want to pet him, but like always, June will not take lightly to being pushed around. "Am I under arrest, Detective?" she asked bluntly.

"No, should I arrest you?" The good detective was bristling now, eager for a fight. Pity; if he had any knowledge of Nen, and it was obvious from his untamed aura that he didn't, Midoya might have been tempted to play with him. But she wouldn't; she really didn't like toys that broke too easily. That was one thing she and Hisoka had in common. Oh, ew. Hisoka and her. In common. Gross.

"If I am not under arrest," June Kito snapped sharply, "I have no obligation to answer any of your questions, nor do you have the right to question me as you are doing now."

Aggression and hostility shimmered in the detective's aura and Midoya curiously sampled it. It was intense but impersonal; a grudge against the world in general, and not just poor, misunderstood June Kito. Ah, that he was merely taking out his hatred for the system on her, and not genuinely disliking her, made her feel _so_ much better. "Yeah," he growled, invading her personal space even more, "for now. I'll get you one day, bitch."

Or perhaps it wouldn't be that bad to kill a cop, June suggested hopefully to Midoya. It might be fun to play with him even if he wouldn't last long, she thought. Neanderthal types should be good at all kinds of cavemen posturing right? Maybe if she gave him a wooden club, he might put up a good enough fight, and she could kill him and claim self-defence? Or maybe she could just break a couple of bones in his body? That shouldn't kill him. Ah, maybe she could just take one of his kidneys. It was still possible to survive on only one kidney right? She was certain she had read something like that in medical school, but that was so many years ago.

Fortunately, the appearance of the police commissioner stopped her from acting on impulse. "Miss Kito!" the commissioner exclaimed as he hurried towards her. "I came the moment I heard! God, this is horrible!" He grabbed her hand and looked her over quickly. "Are you okay, Miss Kito? You aren't hurt, are you? Rest assure we will do our best to find out who is behind this nefarious attack!"

Nefarious. _Nefarious_? Midoya grinned widely even as a look of disgust spread over Detective Bran's face. June, the one who didn't care for weaknesses, smiled a chilly smile at the elderly, mousy-looking man "Commissioner," June said, shaking his hand, "thank you for your reassurances. I am just glad no one was hurt." Still smiling death's smile, she put a hand lightly on the detective's arm (which he flexed instinctively). "Detective Bran here was just helpfully filling me in on the details," she purred, feeling revulsion in his aura and delighting in it.

"Good job, Detective," the Commissioner said, clapping the detective on the shoulder, "make sure you keep Miss Kito in the loop all the time."

The look of horror on Detective Bran's face was the last straw and a giggle escaped despite her best efforts. Fortunately, it was lost when Detective Bran started shouting, "Sir, she's a _civilian_! We can't keep her in the loop of an on-going investigation!"

"Rubbish," the Commissioner said, brushing aside Detective Bran, "Miss Kito is a _victim_. It is our obligation as civil servants to update her frequently on the investigation process. I'm sure she will appreciate that, right, Miss Kito?"

Truthfully, neither June nor Midoya had any intention of relying on the police, but it wouldn't kill her to play nice. Sometimes the local law enforcement officers did prove to be useful. "Of course, Commissioner," she demurred. "I will definitely be very… appreciative." The Commissioner beamed, no doubt reassured that he would have the support of the Kito estate in his next elections.

"Great!" he said, clapping his hands. "Let's do a little sharing here then. Did you tell Miss Kito about the box, Detective?"

Box? June tilted her head questioningly as Detective Bran simmered with rage. "No, sir," he growled, hands clenching and unclenching.

"Well then, step to it! We don't have all the time in the world!"

At this point, Detective Bran looked like he was going to either explode or pass out, so Midoya, against June's best instincts, decided to be kind to him. "While we wait for Detective Bran, I would like to check on my staff please. Do you know where Rose is? She is the manager of the _Rose Petal_."

"By the ambulance," Detective Bran, who was already stomping off, snapped.

"Thank you," June Kito replied with cool politeness and brushed past the simpering commissioner, Sally stumbling after her. With quick steps, June made it to the ambulance where a matronly woman in a suit sat with a paramedic. "Rose," Midoya greeted, reaching out with her hands to clasp the woman's hands.

Rose looked up and her wrinkled face brightened immediately. "Miss Kito," she greeted warmly, clasping Midoya's hands with a brilliant smile. Midoya smiled back fondly. When Midoya had first started out as a bounty hunter, Rose, a very talented grifter, had been one of her first live catches. Despite her spotted past, Midoya had been impressed with her management abilities, and had hired her as part of the Kito estate staff. Now, though she looked like somebody's benevolent grandmother with her neat, snow-white hair, crinkly blue eyes and the deep wrinkles, Rose was one of June's most trusted employees. She was also one of the few people in the world who knew June Kito was Blacklist Hunter Midoya.

"Are you alright, dear?" Midoya asked, sitting down next to Rose and looking her over. "Are you hurt?"

"Oh, no, not at all," Rose replied, smoothing down her fully white hair put neatly in a bun. "We all got out before the explosion. It was a close thing though; some of us were standing pretty close to the building when it blew up. I protected as many as possible with…" her voice dropped to barely a whisper "…Nen…" then louder " but I believe some of the girls still got hurt by flying debris and shrapnel."

"I see," Midoya said, frowning. "I'll make sure they get some medical attention. They weren't hurt too badly, were they?"

"No, Miss Kito, the wounds aren't bad." Rose's wrinkled face creased with a fond smile. "You are almost too kind for this business," she said gently. "I say 'almost' only because I've seen what you do to people who get on your nerves. I must admit I was watching your interactions with the nice policeman, and I am quite surprised his innards are still his… innards."

"Wait till there are less witnesses and see what happens," Midoya replied, waving away the compliment. It was hardly surprising Rose had identified the detective as a cop so easily even when he wasn't wearing a uniform. Years as a criminal had tuned her in to the little cues that identified figures of authority. Looking around stealthily to make sure no one was listening, Midoya murmured, "Rose dear, did you see who did this?"

In reply, Rose shook her head. "It was a normal night," she said softly. "The usual clients were there. There might have been a few new faces. I don't remember seeing or hearing anything out of the ordinary. But I was in the office most of the time."

"I see." Midoya pursed her lips in thought. "Do you think we could salvage any security camera footage?" she asked, eyeing the burning building.

"The security camera footages feed to the main server," Rose replied immediately. "It's technically classified information, but you have access to it all, being the boss and all. Just log in to the system using the Level Three ID and password."

"Excellent." Midoya got to her feet and gently patted Rose on the shoulder. "Go home and take a rest, Rose," June told her in a much louder voice. "Tell everyone to take a couple of days' break too."

"Thank you, Miss Kito," Rose replied formally with a slight bow.

Walking away from the ambulance, Midoya's eyes unfocused as she started to form a list of things she needed to do in her head. At the very top was viewing the security camera footage of this attack. If she could figure out who was the one who did it, though she highly doubted it (anyone who could blow up one of her buildings was likely not dumb enough to be caught on camera), she would need to figure out what to do about it. Then there was the issue of her employees and…

"The box." Said object was shoved so abruptly into her that Midoya stumbled to a stop and grabbed it instinctively. "It is evidence," Detective Bran growled, "be gentle with it."

"Alright. So, what's this supposed to be?" June asked, wrapping her arms around the box to hold it steady. It was a fairly big box, a good five feet across, and it was heavy too. Another bomb? Midoya sniffed it surreptitiously, but didn't smell any explosives.

"You tell me," Detective Bran snarled, looming over her aggressively.

"It's a box, of course," June Kito replied with irritation. "What I want to know is why it is significant."

Detective Bran glowered at her for a while more, but his expression eventually softened into a mere grimace. "It was found in one of the offices. Don't know how it survived the explosion," he said reluctantly.

Interesting. That the box survived the explosion meant that someone had used Nen to protect it. At least that mostly confirmed this attack came from Midoya's pool of acquaintances. June hardly knew anyone who could use Nen.

In the meantime, Detective Bran was trying to intimidate her again. Moving closer, he towered over her and growled, "I've got questions for you. You got any girls here named 'Midoya'?"

June Kito froze. "No," she answered, almost too quickly. "Why do you ask?"

"Name's on the box. You sure you don't know anyone named 'Midoya'?"

"No." Midoya looked at the box again and saw the name this time, in neat, but stylish handwriting. It looked familiar. Well. That narrowed the number of people who could have done this. Knowing he would protest, she opened the box quickly without asking.

"Hey!" Detective Bran protested. "You're supposed to wait for the… what the fuck?"

In a split second, both of them had sprung back from the _massive_, fang-lined snout snarling out of the open box. It was, Midoya realised belatedly as she stared at the box she had dropped, the head of a gigantic alligator. It was huge, it was fresh, and someone had pasted little tiny pink hearts over its glassy, dead eyes. They did not go well with the large, snarling fangs stained with blood.

"My… goodness," June Kito said finally, approaching the box. "That is… that _was_, I meant, a… Lori Swamp alligator, wasn't it?"

"Is it?" Detective Bran asked faintly.

"I… think so." Carefully, she prodded the box with her toe then felt somewhat ridiculous. The head wasn't going to bite her. It was separated entirely from its body and had evidently been dead for over a day at least. With a shrug, she picked up the box and peered inside. "There's something else in here."

"Really?" Detective Bran came closer and together, they peered at the object at the bottom of the box. "What is it?"

"It's a… disc," June said finally. "A CD." Ignoring Detective Bran's half-hearted protests, she reached inside, pulled the disc out and looked at it. A woman graced the cover, painted in Art Deco style and psychedelic colours. It was a singer Midoya recognised; one of her favourite musicians in fact, from the genre of Techno music. Frowning, Midoya opened the cover and glanced at the disc inside. It was just a normal disc, but written over the top was…

_Remember the Lori Swamps. _

Suddenly, the memories came rushing back to her. The _Juwasi_, powerful mutated ants rushing at her as she danced among them in a swirl of blood and innards, techno music from this album pounding in the dark night and in her veins, and sitting in the tree watching her with an penetrating look of interest on his face was…

"Lori Swamps?" Detective Bran asked, peering over her shoulder. "What does that mean?"

Midoya barely heard him; she was too taken aback by the unexpected chill running down her spine, a chill that was mixed with anger, dread and inexplicable delight. Because Kuroro Lucifer, Dancho of the Genei Ryodan, was in town and he was out to get her.

* * *

When the building exploded, Kuroro was in a café two blocks down, reading a book and sipping a cup of overpriced but fairly decent coffee.

As the entire night sky turned temporarily to dawn, the few customers in the shop shot to their feet and rushed outside, gasping and pointing. Kuroro remained seated, smiling faintly as he flipped a page. The explosion had gone off right on time. In three seconds, the surprise should follow…

"Fireworks!" the waitress staring out of the window exclaimed. "That building is shooting fireworks! My god, what is going?"

Kuroro sighed softly with pleasure. It was always so nice when things go according to plan. He hadn't been sure he had gotten the timing right, but there it was. He personally thought the fire alarm was a nice touch; he wanted Midoya's attention, not her anger, and killing her employees would definitely make her angry. An angry frame of mind was not a good one for reconciliation, Kuroro felt. He could wait till they were back together before ticking her off; angry sex was excellent sex, as was make up sex. For now, he would just win her favour back by blowing up her buildings.

It was, he hoped, the perfect way of getting her attention.

Well, obviously the explosion would get her attention; it had taken down one of her brothels of course. But the fireworks, in her favourite colours, added a touch of personalisation to it. Furthermore, the music disc served two purposes. First, it pointed out how well he knew her and what she liked. Second, it was designed to remind her of much more pleasant times spent together. In short, it made for what he hoped was a fairly obvious romantic message.

Just in case that was not enough, the book he was reading now would provide more inspiration on ways of courting women. According to it, tying a woman up in a dark room and forcing her to yield to his 'throbbing member' was the ideal way to win her affection, if the description of the female protagonist's 'desperate, passionate moans' were anything to go by. Truth be told, he wasn't quite sure his stubborn and proud Midoya would enjoy being dominated like that. It seemed more her nature to be the one tying him up in a dark room and forcing him into the 'wetness and heat within her'. Interesting as that thought was, it would be more helpful if he knew exactly what a 'member' is and whether he should be worried if she did get a hold of it. After all, presumably 'member' referred to a part of his body, and Midoya is an expert at inflicting irreparable damage to the human body. And why did women seem to always be wet and hot inside in these texts? Wasn't everybody wet and hot inside? The human body was seventy per cent water after all, and heated to about thirty-seven degrees Celsius. It wasn't like there were humans who were dry and cold inside. The only humans who were dry and cold were dead and long mummified.

That line of thought wasn't exactly very productive, so Kuroro returned to the mission of getting Midoya's attention. Any time now, she will be at the _Rose Petal_, sorting through the evidence before her. He knew her, knew how smart she was. He was certain she would figure out that he was responsible for this. And then… well… he will see. If she was impressed enough by his display, hopefully she will contact him and initiate the proper mating rituals. At least that's what he learned from watching documentaries on mating. Humans weren't too different from chimpanzees, right? Both species were almost genetically identical after all.

Smiling in anticipation, Kuroro turned another page and sipped his coffee. Pursuing Midoya was a challenge but he had won against her before. It could be done, and he will do it again. He couldn't wait…

* * *

When her alarm went off, the sun was barely peeking over the horizon, casting a dull, red light over the city of corruption that was York Shin.

Yawning, Midoya reached for her alarm clock to switch it off, but her hand closed over nothing. Belatedly, she remembered that the clock was now on the other side of the bed, that she was no longer in the penthouse she had lived in for years. By then, the alarm had already gone into Snooze mode, so Midoya ignored it in favour of staring at the ceiling pensively.

Since she had hurriedly moved into her new penthouse just a few days ago, there was hardly any furnishing in it. She had moved her bed over and had gotten her staff to speed up the transfer of her books though. That meant that her new penthouse was basically bare except for a ton of books and her bed. That was fine; she had survived on less before. Besides, it wasn't like she was getting much of a chance to enjoy her new lodgings.

Closing her eyes, Midoya tried to rest for another five minutes before she had to get up. There was so much work to do. She still had to deal with the mess that was the _Rose Petal_ and she had to make an appearance as Midoya in the York Shin HQ. Ever since the Zodiacs tried to kill her, they have been monitoring her more closely than usual. She could only hope that their paranoia about her would fade soon. It was hardly fair to be treated like this; it was not like she had initiated the attack on the Fort. Besides, they were the ones who killed her. It wasn't like she…

The scent of soap and something distinctively masculine ghosted over her and Midoya's eyes snapped open in alarm. _Kuroro_.

Before she could get up, a powerful, hard and noticeably male body plopped down over hers. "Midoya-chan," a sickly sweet voice purred with genuine pleasure. "How cute you look, just waking up."

A sigh escaped her lips and she relaxed, but only marginally. "Hello Hisoka," she greeted with weary politeness. "How on earth did you manage to find me?"

Hisoka's face appeared over hers, smiling in that smug, self-satisfied way he had. "I have my sources," he murmured, nibbling her earlobe.

Which, knowing his history with Illumi probably meant he had contacted the Zoldycks. That family could be a pain in the behind sometimes, specifically when they put their considerable resources and talents into assisting her enemies. "I am impressed," Midoya said anyway, firmly moving her ear away from his teeth in case he decided to bite it off. "And what are you doing here? I have already made my payment to you for your help the last time."

"I know," Hisoka mumbled, lips pressed against her neck now, "but I missed you, my sweet, _dangerous_ little Midoya-chan. And I thought you would miss me since you aren't with Kuroro anymore. Aren't you lonely, little Midoya-chan? Aren't you heartbroken and on the rebound? I am here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on or a warm body to screw senseless."

Something poking into her thigh assured her he was, at least, telling some of the truth. "What happened to Clemence?" Midoya asked as she idly considered kneeing him in the proof of his longing for her.

"Who's Clemence?" Hisoka asked, as if he couldn't care less.

Right. She had to remember this was Hisoka, the one of the insubstantial long-term memory. "Get off me, Hisoka," Midoya ordered, "I need to go to work."

She felt Hisoka lick her neck, a long, wet lick that was both sensual and mildly repulsive at the same time. "Make me," he purred, holding her wrists down in an iron grip.

Midoya eyed him as he started to grind against her in earnest. Well, that was... so Hisoka. Tentatively, she strained against his grip but she could barely even get him to twitch, much less release her. How unfortunate that Hisoka appeared to be physically much stronger than she was. But then, she had never allowed something as insignificant as arm strength hold her back now, had she? "Ying," she said sharply and felt her form shift into a white mist. Hisoka landed with a muffled _oof_ onto the bed as she flowed out from under him and reformed in front of the bathroom. Glancing back, she belatedly realised he was naked, which was, surprisingly, not a bad sight at all. And oh look, now she knew what his natural hair colour was. That was, unless he dyed his… okay, brain, do not go there. The layer of bloody, sweet Nen that always surrounded his body reminded her that she needed to stop ogling his behind and start doing damage control. "Put on some clothes and we may be able to have a nice, civilised conversation," she told him.

"Who said I wanted a nice, civilised conversation?" Hisoka sulked, but Midoya had already closed the door on him.

When she came out later already dressed like June Kito, he had, to her surprise, obediently put on his clothes and was sitting on her bed, waiting for her patiently. Ignoring him, she padded into the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea. "Why are you here, Hisoka?" she asked as she sipped the caffeinated beverage. "I don't think you missed me so much you had to hunt me down just to rub yourself all over me."

Hisoka leered at her. "I'm surprised you asked." With an impressively sleek motion, he made a whole stack of cards appear, disappear and then fly around him before returning neatly to his hand. "The _Rose Petal_." He smiled. "That was the Ryodan, wasn't it?"

"How did you know?" Midoya asked, not bothering to lie to him. He would find out anyway if he really wanted to know. Hisoka was horrifyingly resourceful that way.

"I was waiting for it to happen," he replied gleefully. "The Ryodan takes revenge in the most glorious ways; I am only surprised it took so long for them to retaliate for what you did to them and Kuroro. Is it true he almost died? I'm glad I got my fight with him out of the way before you almost killed him."

Yes of course, and the Ryodan tends to react so badly to anyone threatening their precious Dancho. They really were the sweetest bunch once you get down to it - r the most overly-attached. She hadn't quite made up her mind about that yet. "Yes, it is true," she admitted. "I was anticipating an attack by the Ryodan too, but I must admit, I expected them to strike at me, not my brothels. I should have remembered how ah… extravagant the Ryodan's vengeance fests tend to be."

"Ah." Hisoka exhaled with pleasure. "One thing I did like about working with the Ryodan was how beautiful their missions are. Their vengeance attacks especially are always marvellous pieces of art."

"Indeed," Midoya replied wryly, thinking of the fireworks exploding over her burning building. A very nice touch, that one. Even she found it lovely, and it was her building that was burning to ashes. "Though their idea of art tends towards the anarchic," she added. "Very destructive as artists, they are."

"Only the deepest, most profound lover can be this vicious," Hisoka declared, arching his back and placing a poetic hand against his chest. "See how love so scorned has manifested in the flames of ruin? Can you feel his passion in the raging fires of fury? Can you _feel_ his agony burning in your veins, in your flesh?"

"Very poetic, but I must admit I was too concerned with the logistics of the aftermath to feel this… passion." Midoya eyed him disapprovingly. "Are you done mocking me, Hisoka? I have other things to do."

Hisoka hummed happily as he started building a tower of cards with remarkable speed. "To the Ryodan, you mean? What are you going to do about them, Miss Kito?" he asked, his voice teasing but not derisive. "Are you going to hunt the Ryodan now? Are you going to get rid of them? Will you kill these people just because they are angry you betrayed them?"

"No, I'm not going to do anything." The tower collapsed and Midoya smiled at the expression of pure surprise on his face.

"You aren't going to do anything?" Hisoka demanded, ignoring the cards littering her bedroom floor. "Why not?"

"If this is the Ryodan's idea of revenge, it is a small price to pay," Midoya replied with a shrug. "Sure, I lost one of my brothels and the Kito Enterprises stocks fell a couple of points, but no one died. That's pretty remarkable considering this is the Ryodan we're talking about. Rather than further antagonising them and potentially inciting more violence against my employees, it's better to just let it go." At the look of disbelief on Hisoka's face, Midoya smiled and added, "Besides, that was a pretty cute revenge, all things considered. I did like the fireworks. They looked so gorgeous in the night sky. It is sweet of Kuroro to choose them; he knows they are my favourite. He can be surprisingly thoughtful at times, I must say."

"I am… disappointed," Hisoka confessed, the corners of his lips turning down. "When you came to me with your interesting proposition of attacking the Ryodan, I was banking on the Ryodan retaliating, hence extending this wonderful, glorious battle. I thought this would be a good way to spend my time until I find my next prey."

"Sorry to disappoint," Midoya replied with a careless shrug.

"Can I just seduce you then?" Hisoka asked hopefully. "I didn't get to fuck you the last time."

"That's because that was not part of the payment, darling. Do you always have sex with all your opponents?"

"No," Hisoka admitted, "but the idea of fucking someone Kuroro once fucked is a pretty big turn-on."

"Ah, so the one you desire is Kuroro, not me. How flattering; I verily believe I have never felt more beautiful and wanted in my life." Midoya's lips quirked in an ironic smile. "If you desire Kuroro that much, why don't you have sex with him instead? He's not the kind of person to be bound by concepts of hetero-normalcy. If you ask him nicely and promise not to cut him up too badly, he might just give in."

"I tried." Hisoka pouted, a stricken look on his face. "I got rejected."

"And so you gave up? That's quite unlike you, Hisoka. What happened to your enviable determination to violate all the people you enjoy fighting?"

"I didn't want to give up but I couldn't run after him because he had eviscerated me. I kept tripping over my intestines."

"A fantastic strategy. If I do the same to you, will you leave me alone?"

"Perhaps, but if you keep talking like that, I am just going to go ahead and tear your clothes off and fuck you silly." Hisoka produced a pair of puppy eyes made unconvincing by the murderous glow in them, and wetted his lips. "Will you let me fuck you silly, Midoya-chan?"

Sighing, Midoya put her cup down and looked Hisoka over carefully. It wasn't that he wasn't attractive in his own way. . His body was a work of art in its own right, but he just didn't appeal to her. The fact that he might try to eviscerate her during sex was, contrary to popular belief, not necessarily the main reason she didn't want to have sex with him either. She could simply turn into a white mist and flee after all. She just wasn't attracted to him that way. But perhaps she was being mean. Perhaps she should give him a chance. Everyone deserves a chance in life, no? It was odd she was seriously considering having sex with Hisoka. Perhaps she was on a rebound. Whatever the case, it made for an excellent excuse to jump this man's bones. Rebound sex was excellent sex, especially since she didn't have a conscience and wouldn't feel any guilt after.

"Alright," Midoya decided, sitting down on a stack of books and crossing her legs primly, "convince me that I should want you."

Pale, luscious lips parted in surprise; he obviously had not expected her to agree so easily. But he recovered quickly, eyes glowing with feral glee as he licked his lips. "How do you want me to do this?" he leered, going onto all fours and arching his back like a cat. "Tell me what you want me to do, Midoya-_chan_. Should I strip for you? Should I beg you? Or should I just go over to you now and claim you on the floor?"

What did she want him to do? Good question. The options he presented were… interesting, but not sufficient for her. "Get that," Midoya said, pointing to the book lying on her bed.

"This?" Hisoka held up the book looking confused. "This book?"

"Yes, now give it to me and tell me that it is the perfect gift for me because I already own it so I must like it."

"What?"

"Oh no, wait. How about you tell me what you think Adorno meant when he said 'Every work of art is an uncommitted crime' while we have sex?" Midoya frowned. "Or do I want to hear about the theological discrepancies between the Eastern afterlife and the Western afterlife, and the way it reflects the social consciousness of the respective cultures? Goodness, I can't decide."

Hisoka stared at her with still glowing eyes, obviously trying to figure out if she was mocking him. "Who's Adorno?" he finally asked warily.

"Who's _Adorno_? Goodness!" Midoya sighed and shook her head. "This isn't going to work out, Hisoka dear. While I will admit that you are a physically attractive man with a stamina that can, without a doubt, match mine, there are too many differences between the both of us. Not only do we come from very different social circles, our upbringing, education, hobbies, preferences, and ideas of what is sexually appealing differ too much for us to truly enjoy each other's company. That's not to mention the strange and childish designs you, for some inexplicable reason, wear on your face."

Pale fingers cupped his cheeks as Hisoka stared. "What's wrong with the designs on my face?" he asked, giving her a hurt look.

"Nothing perhaps," Midoya mused. "Among the Araiyo tribes of the Pudu mountains, it is considered very appealing when men tattoo their sexual organs with beautiful turquoise and red designs. The more elaborate the tattoo, the more attractive the subject in question is considered to be. Supposedly the tattoos grant them great skill and stamina in the metaphorical bed. I have to assume that occurs after a certain period of recovery, of course."

Hisoka blinked,. "Are you asking me to tattoo my genitals? Because that might take a while and I'm horny _now_," he said confusedly and Midoya couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips.

"You are surprisingly very sweet, Hisoka," she said, still chuckling.

The look on Hisoka's face set her off again. "That's the first time I've ever heard that," he said with cautious hope. "Does that mean you want to lick me off? I'm all for that, if you are."

"Oh, you silly boy." Midoya got off the stack of books and walked to him. "You are a very sweet and very silly man." Leaning over, she gave him a swift, chaste kiss on his cheek. "Too sweet for me, in fact." Hisoka's already arched eyebrows arched even more with surprise. "So," Midoya continued, backing away from him, "I am not going to touch you. I am not going to kiss you. And I am definitely not having sex with you." His eyes widened at that and he started to breathe harder. Midoya smiled pleasantly at him from across the bedroom. "Do let yourself out dear. I have to get ready to go to work."

Sensuously, sinuously, like a leopard unfolding itself off a branch, Hisoka rose from her bed, his eyes wide and gleaming with almost uncontrollable lust. "I don't think I want to do that," he panted, his aura shimmering shakily before concentrating into a powerful, throbbing mass of pink Nen. "I think I'm going to _cut_ you."

"Of course you do dear." Midoya tilted her head at him, stared, shook her head then took a deep, bracing breath. "Alright, there is no way I can say this delicately. Hisoka, your penis is glowing… like… like… are you using _Ko_ on your _penis_?"

Hisoka's lips spread in a feline smile. "You like it, Midoya-chan?" he purred. "Why don't you come over and find out what other parts of me can glow." Nen exploded out of his pores and flooded downwards.

It was like there was a mini-sun in her room albeit, a mini-sun with a penis in the middle of it. Midoya didn't know whether she wanted to laugh or cry.

Well, she mused philosophically as she consciously gathered more Nen around her in preparation for battle, she _had_ been feeling frustrated recently and Hisoka was an excellent fighter after all…

* * *

In the dark, damp warehouse, Kuroro Lucifer wrapped his coat tighter around him and frowned at his silent phone.

Twelve hours have ticked past. Where _was_ Midoya?

* * *

A/N: Well, Hisoka's nether region does glow occasionally in the anime and manga. In terms of Nen techniques, the only two that would allow Hisoka to do that are _Gyo_ and _Ko_. Since the kanji of _Ko_ is the character for 'hard'… well, it made sense to me. Only Hisoka could give literality to the phrase 'the penis as a weapon'…

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a review letting me know what you thought!

Trivial: Other words and phrases from the book that Kuroro did not understand included 'her heaving pink and white apples', 'her ravenous hot cavern', 'the pink, glistening pearl of pleasure', 'his iridescent, blue-veined piccolo' and 'spilling his hot seed into her willing vessel as her fluid-slicked tunnel clenched around his thick rod of passion with wet sucking sounds'.

Instinctively, he had a feeling that these phrases hinted that the protagonists of the book are cave explorers and treasure hunters, and very avid ones too since they seemed to be exploring her 'hot cavern' every two pages or so. The idea of taking Midoya on a cave exploration trip was not a bad one though he had no idea where he could find a cave that could 'clench around his thick rod' (his walking stick?) in that manner. Most cave tunnels didn't move like that after all, and one that could tighten and loosen at will seemed rather dangerous.

But then, maybe it was just as well he didn't know any caves like those since the book made the exploration of them sound slimy and plain _gross_.


	3. The Return of Pepeka Timbal

**A/N:** The sequel to "A Series of Very Criminal Activities".

This is a very weird and… crazy story. It's not much of an action story (though of course with the Ryodan involved, you can't avoid all the violence and gore etc entirely). The Ryodan wouldn't appear much either, because it is a romance story and the Ryodan isn't very romantic in my opinion, so for those who wanted to see more of the Ryodan, I apologise.

And… I have nothing else to say but this: please forgive me, I knew not what I have done.

Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me.

* * *

The Return of Pepeka Timbal

The man standing before him was big, fat and smelt overwhelmingly of stale alcohol and urine. It was too bad, Pepeka Timbal thought, that he didn't have enough hands to hold his nose as he knocked the fucker out.

Stepping over the now horizontal form sprawled ungainly on the ground, Pepeka shook out his right fist as he juggled the groceries in his left. "Fucking morons everywhere," he grumbled as he bent down to pick up the poor creature the man had been throwing beer cans at. "You doing okay?" he asked, examining it carefully.

Said creature, a puppy with soft, chocolate-coloured fur whined fearfully at him and curled up defensively in his hand. Chuckling, Pepeka gently rubbed its quavering tummy with his thumb.

"Come on, don't be afraid, I wouldn't hurt you," he coaxed soothingly. "I'm making chicken stew tonight. You'll like it. I'm a damn good cook if I do say so myself. Sensei always likes it when I cook for her. Food? Yes? Food?"

At the key word, the puppy's tail started to wag hesitantly. It must have been a pet at some point in its life if it recognised words, Pepeka realised. It may be lost or abandoned. Poor kid. He playfully bounced it a few times and the puppy panted at him happily. A stupid grin spread across his face. Fuck, it was cute. He should probably take it home and give it some food and a proper bath. Pepeka's nose wrinkled as he sniffed the puppy. Stupid drunk fucker got beer all over the poor thing.

"Hey! If it isn't Hunter Pepeka Timbal!"

Surprised at being hailed, Pepeka looked around and spotted another male figure, almost as tall and as broad as himself, jogging towards him. A grin lit up his face. "Bran!" Pepeka exclaimed, reaching over to trade appropriately manly handshakes and found himself offering the detective the puppy instead. "Uh. Sorry."

Detective Bran laughed at the sight of the puppy wagging its tail at him. "What the fuck, man," he grinned. "Your hand's turned sticky and furry. You been real lonely at night lately?"

Pepeka struggled not to let the blush form over his face. "Shut the fuck up, dude," he growled but with no real anger. "It's just a stray I picked up."

"Yeah?" Detective Bran grinned and Pepeka found himself replying the grin. They had met a few years ago when the Association had teamed up with local law enforcement to find a serial killer. Pepeka had been the freelance Blacklist Hunter hired, and the both of them had bonded over a mutual love for surfing.

"Yeah," Pepeka replied. "It's good to see you, man. What has it been? Half a year since I last saw you?"

"Close. More like five months." Bran paused and stared at the ground. "Uh, is it just me or is there a dead guy lying over there?'

"Nah, not dead," Pepeka said with a brief glance at the prone body on the ground. "I just knocked him out."

"_Just_ knocked him out? Dude, his teeth are everywhere. What did he do? Kill your mum?"

"Uh… he was throwing uh… beer cans at this little guy here." Pepeka grimaced because no matter how slow he was, even he knew how bad that sounded. He _had_ been a little more prone to violence lately as compared to before sensei got taken by the Association. It wasn't exactly uncommon for Hunters to get more immune to violence the longer they spent in the business, but damn if he wasn't sure he liked it. And he had to admit he had been in a bad mood. For some reason, he hadn't been able to contact sensei recently. It was worrying; she did disappear like this at times, but after the Association thing, he didn't like sensei going too long without contacting him. Not that she ever contacted him or reported her movements to him, but… argh, what the fuck! He wished she would just answer her goddamn phone.

"Beer cans?" Detective Bran was giving him the 'cop' eye now. "Come on, Timbal," he scolded, "you're a fucking Hunter. I thought you guys are all noble and shit?"

That reminded him that he was currently being watched by the Hunter Association and that sensei had warned him not to do anything that could be taken as 'bad', 'naughty' or 'uncool' by them. "Yeah," Pepeka said hurriedly, glancing around guiltily. "Sorry man. I forgot how easily normal humans… uh… break."

"What? Hunters are not normal? What are you then? Special?"

Yes, with Nen, but Bran wasn't supposed to know anything about that. "I didn't mean it that way. Sorry man," Pepeka repeated instead. "I'll get him to a hospital okay?" Then because he had learnt something from the Ryodan about manipulating people, he _sneakily_ turned the tables on Bran and added, "You sound irritable. What's up?"

Bran sighed, wiped his face grouchily and generally displayed all signs of cynical world-weariness. "Yeah, I am," he said, sounding almost apologetic. "It's this whole Kito thing."

Kito? Pepeka's ears perked up. The puppy's joined his. "Kito?" he asked out loud. "You mean…" Midoya Kito or June Kito? "Uh… who is that?"

"June Kito," Bran growled, "fucking whore master of York Shin."

It was a good thing, Pepeka thought, that Bran didn't know how close he just came to being socked by a Nen-reinforced fist. Because though Pepeka liked Bran (mostly), he _worshipped_ sensei, and sensei was no fucking whore master of York Shin or anywhere else. Sensei was a kind-hearted, loving, caring person who had a tendency to kill people and cause wars but she was really good inside so Bran had better stop insulting her or _fuck off_. "What happened to her?" he asked instead, and praised himself for his self-control. Good to know he wasn't a raging, violent maniac like some Ryodan members… yet.

"One of her whore houses blew up," Bran said with a shrug. "It's fucking suspicious, man. Like, apparently some warning went off before the explosion and everyone got out just in time. No one got hurt, 'cept the building. It stinks of a set up. If you ask me, I think Kito blew up the building herself."

"And why would she do that?" Pepeka asked belligerently.

Fortunately, caught up in his thoughts as he was, Bran didn't even notice his tone. "I have no fucking idea," he admitted. "Her insurance doesn't cover the cost of building a new brothel. Her stocks dropped a little, but not by much. Hell, I have no fucking idea why she, or anyone, would want to blow up a brothel no matter how fancy it is. Unless it's some kind of vigilante thing. Those houses are fucking corrupting our youths, man."

"No clues?" Pepeka asked, reminding himself that Bran was in no way a real threat to someone like sensei and he should just calm the _fuck_ down.

"Just one," Bran said hesitantly. "I'm uh… not supposed to tell you this."

"But you are going to."

"Yeah man. I could use a sounding board but the whole police department is probably in Kito's pocket so it's not like I have a ton of options." Bran ran his hand through his hair. "It was… damn, there was this alligator head in it, like a real one, freshly decapitated, my science boys tell me. And there was a CD. A stupid music CD of some dumb techno rubbish by some chick called TCFU."

"A what? An alligator's head? And a CD?" Pepeka mused out loud even as he remembered that sensei liked TCFU.

"Yeah, and it had some words written on it," Bran said, frowning as he tried to remember the exact quote. "Remember the Lori Swamps, it said."

Pepeka stared. Lori Swamps? Wasn't that where sensei and Kuroro went the last time they were looking for the Jyonen-user? Come to think of it, Kuroro hasn't been in York Shin for a while, had he? And Shalnark hadn't been contacting him to play games online in a while. Was this related to the Ryodan? Could the enemies of the Ryodan be targeting sensei now that her relationship with Kuroro was no longer a secret? A sense of dread filled him. "That all the CD said?"

"Yeah. Oh wait, it came in a box and was addressed to some girl called Midoya. At least I think it's a girl. For all I know, it's a guy's name. Some tribes up north have the weirdest names."

Midoya. Oh shit. Oh fucking shit. "You know where June Kito is?" Pepeka asked, trying not to sound too urgent.

"Yeah." Bran blinked at him. "I am just going to meet her. Why?"

"I'm coming along," Pepeka said hurriedly. "Um. It might be uh… related to… Hunter business." He flushed when Bran gave him a level look.

"And you will be telling me if you find out anything about this case," Bran said in a tone that implied this was not up for discussion.

"Uh, yeah," Pepeka mumbled and hoped the lie wasn't too obvious.

Detective Bran's suspicious cop face didn't go away, but he nodded anyway. "Alright then," he said slowly. "If that's the case, I'll let you put your groceries in the ice box I have in my car. The pooch stays in your pocket though. Don't want it to wee wee wee all over my nice car."

"Thanks man," Pepeka said as he followed Bran towards a beat up yellow car. "And fuck you too."

* * *

Some days it didn't pay to get out of bed. Today, Midoya June Kito decided as she surveyed the statistics in front of her, was one of them.

The mess at the _Rose Petal Boudoir_ was worse than June had ever imagined. There were now four hundred employees, including administrative staff, sanitation staff and commercial sex workers, without a job. Out of these four hundred, close to sixty had suffered some form of injury. Worse, out of these sixty, seven of them had been sex workers who had been scarred badly enough that they couldn't possibly return to that particular line of work. All seven, unfortunately, were also poorly educated women with little hope of finding a job elsewhere and no one to support them. If anything, most of them had family that desperately needed their income.

"Firing them would be cruel," Rose said as she took a delicate sip of tea. "They and their families will end up on the streets or worse."

"Then find some way to fit them back onto the payroll," Midoya said wearily. Her body _ached_. Yes, the fight with Hisoka had allowed her to blow off some steam, but it had been tough and bloody. Now, her muscles were screaming with agony, she had horrible wounds on her that had necessitated long sleeves and pants (how fortunate it was winter), and she might be slightly anaemic from blood loss. At least she hadn't ended up having sex with Hisoka. As if it was not enough her ex-lover was out to kill her, if she had jumped into bed with the first pervert she met, that would have truly been the end of whatever dignity she had left.

"I will try," Rose said, in reply to her order. "These girls need training though. Most of them don't even own a phone, much less a computer, and it is hard to do any kind of job without a computer these days. I could relocate them to the sanitation department, but we have over a hundred sanitation workers in need of a job, so I am not sure how we're going to fit them in there."

And despite what she said to Hisoka, she was close to becoming annoyed with Kuroro. Not that he didn't have reason to be angry with her, but was it really necessary to create such a big mess? Couldn't he just try and kill her instead of putting her employees out of work? It was so much less work that way. "Which are the biggest brothels I own again?" she asked.

"The _Velvet House_ where we are is one," Rose replied immediately. "_Spring Fleur_ is another. The last is _Amare_."

"Mmm. Tell me those places aren't over-staffed."

Rose laughed and smoothed the white lace gloves that sheathed her hands. "Not terribly," she said, smiling despite the mock glower Midoya was giving her. "They can always use more sanitation workers, yes, and perhaps a few more sex workers wouldn't hurt. The clientele of _Amare_ would vastly prefer the gentlemen to the ladies but _Spring Fleur_ could take those of either sex. I don't know where you want to put the administrative staff; we don't really need that many clerks or receptionists in a brothel."

June nodded. "We're talking about two hundred plus admin staff, aren't we? I'll redistribute them out of the sex industry. The trading centre down by the sea can always use more accountants and cataloguers. And the new department store I own downtown… what did I name it again? That place could use more salespeople and accountants and all that."

"Indeed, they can. It is very popular despite the fact that you named it _Kito's Recommended Shopping Centre_."

"Goodness, I _did_? What a horrible name! What on earth was I thinking?"

"You weren't thinking, I believe. When I called you for the name, you sounded like you had a… gentleman caller with you."

"Oh." Midoya blinked. Well yes, Kuroro could be incredibly distracting, especially when he was naked and incessantly demanding she pay attention to his needs. Certainly didn't help that she very much enjoyed paying attention to his needs. "I blame him then," she added, since Kuroro wasn't here to argue otherwise. "Anyway, just try to redeploy the employees of the _Rose Petal_ the best you can. It will only be temporary; I'll try to get the building up and running within a year."

"Of course, Miss Kito," Rose said demurely. "On that note, I would like to let you know that your left arm is bleeding."

"Oh bugger." Midoya touched the sleeve of her blazer. It was already wet and sticky where one of her wounds had bled past the bandages. "Bugger me," she repeated, because she realised she didn't have a change of clothes in her office. Her blazer was black, so it wouldn't show up too much on it, but her top inside was white. That meant she would have to keep the blazer on the entire day.

"Let me take a look," Rose said, coming around with a tiny first aid kit. She made a disapproving noise when Midoya removed her blazer and rolled up her sleeve. "Nasty cut," she commented as she started pulling off the soggy bandages. "How did you get it?"

"Shaving," Midoya deadpanned and Rose gave her a mildly chiding look which made her smile. "A psychopathic killer with a certain inclination for highly sexualised violence broke into my bedroom this morning," Midoya explained. "We fought, but I didn't get killed or raped, so it was all good and well."

An elegantly arched eyebrow was raised. "I shall never get used to the way you are so used to killers climbing into your apartment without any warning," Rose murmured as she mopped up the blood dripping down Midoya's arm.

"They are not always that bad," Midoya replied with a shrug. "I've made some of my best friends that way. I mean… _I_ did. June doesn't have any friends, the poor girl. I probably should have made her a little more sociable than I did. She would get laid more often too." From deep inside, June moved her facial muscles just enough to give Midoya a sneer before returning back to sleep.

"And was it one of these friends of Midoya's that resulted in the bombing of the _Rose Petal_?" Rose questioned mildly.

"Perhaps," Midoya replied, and saw from Rose's expression that she knew not to push the issue. That was the great thing about working with people she had known for a long time; they always knew when to stop. "I think it will be a one-off thing," she added, since Rose was still calmly bandaging her arm up, "but if it happens again then I'll deal with… the issue."

"Of course, Miss Kito," Rose demurred graciously. "I'm certain you are more than capable of handling it."

Ah, if only she had that same confidence. Scoring one over Kuroro and the Ryodan during the Infinity Gem mission was a mixture of good planning and luck. Now that the Ryodan was armed with all the knowledge Kuroro had accumulated about her over the years, she didn't really think it would be that easy this time. Maybe if she gave Kuroro awesome farewell sex, he would just let the whole thing slide? Not likely; Kuroro just wasn't that type of guy. He was and still is far too complex a character for that. In all possibility, nothing short of her brutal, graphic, torturously-prolonged murder could satisfy him. "Thank you, dear," Midoya said as Rose finished taping the bandage up. "Your first aid skills are as impeccable as always."

"That's because I get so much practice at it," Rose replied gently. "Come now; let's get that covered up before anyone else sees it."

And of course, right on cue, the door opened and Detective Bran and Pepeka walked right in.

* * *

When Detective Bran had said he knew where June Kito was, Pepeka had expected to be led to an office building or even the Kito mansion (still couldn't believe _Kuroro_ had been there and he hadn't, that fucker). What he hadn't expected was to end up at the foot of a high-rise, ultra expensive, very sleek-looking _brothel_.

"Um Timbal?"

"Yeah Bran?"

"Why are you walking away?" Bran pointed at the building. "Kito's in there."

"Um…" Pepeka muttered, ten feet away and getting further by the second. "It's… it's a brothel, dude."

"Yeah, and Kito owns it. Dude, didn't I tell you that?"

"Yeah," Pepeka muttered, now fifteen feet away and probably inaudible to Bran, "but you didn't tell me she was _in_ there…" He glared furiously at Bran over his shoulder, and was rewarded by the sight of Bran smirking at him.

"Dude, you still a virgin?" Bran teased.

Truthfully, Pepeka had no idea if that incident when he was fourteen counted. Sensei didn't seem to think it did since she always called him a virgin, but then maybe she was just trying to make him feel better by teasing him mercilessly with that term. Sensei was incredibly sweet that way. "Whatever man," Pepeka replied grumpily, since he had no idea what to say to that.

Bran chuckled. "You're still a little boy, ain't you, Timbal?" he joked, walking over and slinging a companionable arm around Pepeka's neck. "Come on, let's get this interview with Kito over and done with. It'll be over before you know it, baby boy."

"Oh, fuck you," Pepeka grumbled.

The moment they stepped into the air-conditioned, perfumed air of the _Velvet House_, Pepeka found himself putting aside his annoyance with Bran's teasing in favour of standing behind him and shaking with terror when a beautiful woman dressed in a professionally suggestive suit approached them.

"Good afternoon sirs, how may I be of service to you?" she asked, smiling sweetly.

With an audible gulp, Pepeka ducked behind Bran - then driven by the kind of morbid fascination that causes people to gawk at car accidents - peeked over his shoulder. She didn't look anything like the prostitutes Pepeka had seen working street corners. Her makeup was subtle and professionally done, her suit was only just a little low around the cleavage, and she looked elegant and gentle and beautiful. She made Pepeka want to open doors for her and take her to dates in a park. Not that he would; he still loved sensei more than any other woman in the world. Except his sister of course, but he loved Kikita in a totally different way.

Bran evidently didn't feel the same because he said brusquely, "I'm Detective Bran and this is Blacklist Hunter Timbal. We have an appointment with your boss, June Kito. Take us up."

Pepeka elbowed Bran but the woman barely flinched. "Very well, sir," she said, still smiling gently. "Please come this way." Bowing slightly, she indicated that they should walk ahead of her down the corridor. Bran strode past with barely a glance at her, but Pepeka whispered a quick apology as they did. Her smile didn't change though she nodded in acknowledgement.

Walking down the corridor, Pepeka half expected to see naked people doing stuff he wasn't particularly familiar with. To his relief (and secret-never-to-be-admitted disappointment), he didn't. If anything, the corridor resembled that of a high-class hotel, with soft lighting, beautiful art pieces along the walls, and nice carpeting. Some kind of pleasant but forgettable music played in the background and the air smelt like rose and lavender. It was all quite peaceful and pleasant, and it was easy to forget where he was. Maybe it was a mistake, Pepeka thought hopefully, and sensei actually owned a whole series of hotels, not brothels. It's kind of easy to get to two mixed up, right? They're spelt almost the same way and they rhyme too.

A short walk later, they ended up in a lift lobby, filled with plush cushions and soft carpeting. Before their guide could press the button that summoned the lift, the elevator dinged cheerfully and a naked man walked out yawning.

"Good day, Mr Simmons," the woman said, bowing lowly.

"Good day," the naked man replied genially. He walked past them, nodding politely at Pepeka and Bran before strolling off, absolutely unconcerned about his state of undress.

Well, that had certainly disabused Pepeka of his notion that this was nothing more than a fancy hotel with perks on the side.

The ride up the elevator was short and silent. Soon enough, they reached their floor, which turned out to be a medium sized lobby with a very young girl sitting outside a beautifully carved wooden door.

"Detective Bran and Blacklist Hunter Timbal to meet Miss Kito," the woman in the elevator said then stepped back behind the closing doors.

"Oh," the young girl said, stumbling to her feet quickly. "Hi, I'm Sally, Miss Kito's secretary. Umm… I'll just… ummm… I think she's free now. At least there's nothing written here so uh… Come on in." Without knocking, the girl opened the door and ushered them in – to the sight of sensei sitting behind her desk in a white top drenched with blood.

For a moment, Pepeka could only gape at her. It wasn't the blood that disturbed him, since he could see in one glance that it wasn't that much and at all (compared to when she was killed by the Zodiacs at any rate). What disturbed him was the way sensei didn't look anything like sensei. Her hair was straight, her acne was gone and she wasn't wearing some kind of weird colour on her eyelids. Not that she looked uglier than usual or anything like that. In fact, she looked prettier, her features turning from bland to not-quite-that-bland now that they weren't hidden behind the distraction that was inflamed, pus-filled pimples. Still, she looked… wrong. She didn't look like the sensei he knew. She looked like a stranger.

Then sensei's eyes fixed on him and Pepeka knew for sure it was her. Only sensei could look so calm when she was utterly pissed off with him.

"Sally, I do not recall you asking permission before entering my office," she said, and her voice was stern and cold and nothing like the sensei Pepeka knew. Sensei _never_ sounded pissed even when she was, unless she was angry to the point where she was going to pull someone's intestines out of their ass. But that obviously wasn't the case since the secretary's intestines weren't dangling out of her… alright, not polite to think that way about a little girl. Pepeka slapped himself mentally and returned to staring dumbly at sensei-who-was-so-not-like-sensei.

"Oh! Oh… I… I forgot! I'm so sorry, Miss Kito. I'm… oh my god, you're bleeding! There's so much blood!" The young girl tottered like she was going to pass out and Pepeka instinctively put a hand against her back to steady her. The girl flinched away from his touch, so he took his hand away quickly with a mumbled apology. She smiled awkwardly at that and nervously pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She had hair clips in her hair. They were decorated with plastic rabbits.

"You need a doctor?" Pepeka asked sensei though he was unable to meet her eyes.

"It's quite okay," sensei said coolly. "Detective Bran, Hunter Timbal, take a seat. Sally, wait outside."

"Y… yes… ma'am." Obviously still flustered, the girl turned and fled the room.

The moment the door closed behind her, Pepeka sank into the guest chair next to Bran, still staring nervously at sensei. Up close, the wound on her arm looked nasty. He desperately wanted to ask if she was okay but the look she was giving him told him that he wasn't to speak or say anything to indicate they knew each other, or she will be _really sad_ – not in the puppy eyes way, but in the 'I'll make your life a living hell' way.

"What happened?" Bran asked bluntly. "Customer got nasty with you?"

Reflexively, Pepeka stomped on Bran's foot, eliciting a pained grunt and a nasty glare from the detective. "No," the elderly woman sitting next to sensei said firmly. "That is not the case, Detective. Miss Kito has very little contact with our clients on a daily basis."

"Yeah?" Bran asked, turning his glower on the old woman. Pepeka briefly considered stomping on his foot again; it's not nice to treat senior citizens like that. The elderly should be treated with kindness and respect, damn it. "What happened to Miss Kito then?"

Sensei looked at Bran coldly. "I was mugged this morning on the way to work," she said evenly and Pepeka knew that had to be a lie unless whoever mugged her was good – like Genei Ryodan good. Sensei wasn't weak enough to be hurt by some ordinary robber.

"Mugged?" Bran stared. "Don't you walk around with an entourage of bodyguards?"

Sensei raised an eyebrow. "Do you see any bodyguards here?" she asked pointedly and Bran flushed.

"That don't look like a mugging," he said instead, leaning closer and taking her arm a little more violently than Pepeka liked (Pepeka resisted the urge to kick his legs out from under him). "It looks like someone deliberately attacked you to hurt you, not to take your purse."

"Perhaps," Sensei said with a shrug, taking her arm out of his hold and pulling her blazer on. "It's hardly unheard of for me to have enemies, Detective."

From the look on Bran's face, he didn't seem to care that Sensei might actually be in danger, which was just weird for a cop in Pepeka's opinion. "You don't say. Well, you could make a police report," he said with a smirk. "We can get a couple of cops to watch you all day, every day."

"That's quite alright, Detective," Sensei said briskly. "I am perfectly capable of finding my own bodyguards." Her eyes fixed on Pepeka and he felt her Nen swell slightly. Ah, right, he recognised that from many painful training sessions in years gone by.

Focusing Nen into his eyes, Pepeka stared at Sensei's aura. Right in front of her, in Nen, floated the sentence, _"My dear Pepe-chan, how nice of you to drop by and visit me while I am in my other life as June Kito. I assure you that I am extremely pleased to see you and have much to discuss with you later."_

Oh fuck. She was fucking pissed with him. Pepeka gave Sensei a pleading look which she promptly turned her nose up at. Wiping sweat off his face, he tried again, this time making hopeful puppy eyes at her. She shot him a mildly irritated look that was tempered slightly by amusement and he offered her a hesitant smile. Her eyes darted towards Bran, and seeing that the Detective was looking around the room, she swiftly pulled a squinty funny face at him. The snort of laughter escaped Pepeka's lips before he could help himself and Bran stared at him like he was insane.

"So, how may I help you gentlemen today?" Sensei asked, drawing Bran's attention away from him. How she managed to keep a straight face after that, Pepeka will never understand.

"We just have some questions to go through," Bran said shortly and started to run through some questions. Sensei answered them easily in vague and unsatisfactory terms, and Pepeka could just about feel Bran's temper shoot through the roof. "You know," Bran said finally after ten minutes of getting nothing, "I am here to _help_ you. It wouldn't kill you to be a little more forthcoming, will it?"

"Oh really?" Sensei asked, wearing a chilly smile he had never seen on her face before. "You want to help the whore master of York Shin? I should be so flattered."

"What?" The anger faded from Bran's face to be replaced by alarm.

"Isn't that what you've been calling me around the police department?" Sensei purred, and her smile widened with cruel amusement. "Let me see, what were your exact words…? Ah yes, I believe you referred to me as 'that fucking bitch, whore master of York Shin'." Somehow, Sensei's posh accent made the crude words sound even more vulgar than usual. It had the same effect as walking in on your grandparents having sex. It made Pepeka cringe and shudder and feel utterly embarrassed for Bran.

The implications of her words obviously stung and Bran's face turned purple with rage. "What… how…" he spluttered, looking helpless in his anger.

Feeling sorry for him, Pepeka couldn't help saying, "He's not a bad cop, sen… uh… Miss Kito."

Sensei looked at him and there was the slightest of frowns on her face. _Pepe-chan, not now_, her Nen said.

_Ok_, Pepeka replied with a meaningful wink.

"Whatever the case may be, Detective," Sensei said levelly, "I am a very busy woman and I don't really have time to answer each and every one of your questions. If you need to contact me for further enquiries, please go through Mr Leonard. He is my lawyer."

Bran gave sensei a baleful glare and Pepeka almost told him that it was useless trying to stare her down; sensei was practically immune to stuff like that since she trained under _Netero_, the ultimate Master of Evil Scary Glares. "Only the bad guys lawyer up this quickly in my experience," Bran said evenly.

"Or the good guys who are too busy to deal with nosy cops," Sensei replied bluntly, pressing a button on the table. The door behind them opened and the young girl came in again. "Sally, please send Detective Bran out. Hunter Timbal and I still have some business to attend to."

Now Bran was giving him the suspicious, baleful glare, but Pepeka ignored it with only a modicum of self-consciousness and guilt. He was a lot closer to Sensei than Bran after all and Bran had been downright rude to sensei and her elderly friend. "This isn't over, Kito," Bran warned. "I'll be watching you. No matter where you are or what you're doing, I'll be watching you. Remember that."

"I'll be sure to wear my nice pyjamas when I sleep then," Sensei replied with a brittle smile. Still smiling thinly, she stood up and offered him her hand. "Goodbye, Detective."

Reluctantly, Bran rose to shake sensei's hand and decorum forced Pepeka to stand as well. As he did, he felt something warm and furry shift in his coat pocket and make a snuffling sound as it stuck its head out of his pocket.

"Woof," the puppy said and panted happily at them.

Sensei's eyes shot from Bran to Pepeka's pocket in a split second and an entirely un-June-Kito smile spread across her face like warm sunshine. "Puppy!" she exclaimed delightedly and reached for the puppy instantly. With a familiarity that Pepeka knew Bran would notice if he wasn't so busy staring in shock and disbelief at sensei, she pulled the puppy out of his coat and started to stroke it enthusiastically. "Oh, how sweet this is!" she cooed as the puppy wriggled around in a frenzy, either trying frantically to lick her face or escape her iron grip. "Look Rose, isn't this the loveliest creature you've ever seen? Oh! What's that smell? Ugh! Why does it smell of beer?"

"There was this drunken guy throwing cans of beer at it," Pepeka explained, grinning goofily at the look of pure happiness on sensei's face. "I knocked him out."

"Well I hope you hit him hard," sensei said smiling warmly at him, and Pepeka knew she would forgive him for intruding on her other life. Sensei was such a softie that way and really easily bribed once you got down to it.

"It looked like a murder zone when he was done," Bran said faintly, looking at sensei like he hadn't really _looked_ at her before.

"And you didn't arrest Mr Timbal? Why, I believe you might not be as uptight as you appear to be, Detective," sensei said wryly. She put the puppy down on the table where it promptly made paw prints on what looked like important documents. Sensei ignored it with an indulgent smile though the elderly woman next to sensei stared in horror at the puppy's antics and scooped it up quickly. "Now then, Detective," sensei said, her voice losing the warmth it had previously. "If you don't mind…" She gestured pointedly towards the young girl (Sally?) who was openly ogling the puppy with a delighted smile on her face. "Sally?"

"Yes!" Sally cried, snapping to attention immediately. "This way, sir!" She turned and walked into the door, and Pepeka cringed with sympathetic pain. "Uh…" she mumbled, but recovered admirably and led Bran out of the office with no further incident.

"Rose," sensei said quietly once the door closed, "I wish to speak alone with Hunter Timbal."

The elderly woman known as Rose raised an eyebrow. "Yes, of course," she said, turning to leave, the puppy still in her hand.

"Puppy?" sensei asked, her eyes widening hopefully and Rose mock-frowned before passing the wriggling bundle of fur to her.

"Just don't let it get onto the paper work again. Also, I would ask that you be gentle with the child," she said kindly. "I heard he's the only adult Hunter around who's still a virgin. Try not to break him on his first time." Then with a sweet, grandmotherly smile, she walked out of the room and closed the door.

"Mmmm, okay," sensei said to the closed door as she pulled the frolicking puppy onto her lap and scratched its tummy with a dreamy smile on her face. "So Pepeka."

"Uh yeah…" Pepeka muttered, staring at his knees and feeling his ears burn.

"So," sensei said amiably. "Let me now explain why you need to leave York Shin within the next three hours. And don't take it the wrong way, dear. It's just that I broke up with Kuroro and he is very angry with me now, and when Kuroro is angry… well, you saw what he did to the Fort. Don't understand? Let me just start from the beginning."

* * *

In the end, it took half an hour to tell the entire story, starting with her abusive childhood and ending with an abridged version of the conversation she last had with Kuroro. "And so," she concluded as she patted the puppy sleeping on her lap, "it seems the Ryodan is after me for my betrayal of Kuroro. I am fairly certain he is the one who blew up the _Rose Petal_." Done with her explanation, she smoothed the baby soft fur of the puppy, not bothering to justify her actions. Let Pepeka take it as he will.

The whole time she was speaking, Pepeka hadn't said a word. Now, he continued sitting across from the desk, frowning hard. Then without a word, he got up, circled the desk, and bundled her into a giant bear hug. "Damn sensei," he mumbled, bending almost half over so he could press his face into the top of her head. "That's just… that's just sad. I never knew your Dad was a fucking jerk."

Midoya blinked in surprise and laughed. "That issuch a Pepeka reaction," she said fondly, leaning against his hard chest and giving him a quick hug back. And it was. Only Pepeka would react so sentimentally to events that happened two decades ago. It was cute and endearing… and laughably childish, but Midoya could appreciate it for what it was.

"If he wasn't dead already, I would kill him," Pepeka muttered darkly, letting go of her. His blue eyes were practically boiling with anger and grief. "How the fuck could he do this to his own daughter?"

Midoua shrugged, sitting back in her chair. "How could your parents abandon you when you needed them the most?" she questioned rhetorically. "Family is an accident of nature, Pepeka. We don't automatically love our family. That is something that needs to be nurtured, cultivated… worked on every day. You have to be willing to love in order _to_ love."

Pepeka frowned, and she knew he didn't like it, knew he wouldn't because he wanted to believe his sister, the only family that mattered to him, would stand by him unconditionally forever. But he didn't contradict her. Instead, he asked, "And Hisoka sliced you up? That motherfucker. Is he out to get you too? Did the Ryodan like hire him or something?"

"No," Midoya said with great certainty. "There is not much the Ryodan can offer him to get him to work for them now that he has already fought Kuroro. I am quite certain Hisoka is working on his own. Well, when I say 'working', I really mean he is bored and finds me interesting enough that he wants to play with me. I gave him an hour's worth of entertainment. Knowing how fickle he is, it is likely he has moved on to some other prey. No, Pepeka, he is not high on my list of problems at the moment."

"The Ryodan is," Pepeka said, and hesitation filled his face. "Sensei…"

"I did what I had to, Pepeka," Midoya said gently, playing with the puppy's floppy ears. "Kuroro's injury was unexpected. I never intended to hurt him, but what's done is done. At least he survived even if he was ill for a while. I can testify, having gone through it before, that coming back from the dead is not a pleasant experience."

"Yeah, okay," Pepeka mumbled uncomfortably. "And so they're coming for you."

"You can hardly blame them, Pepeka. Kuroro is extremely important to the Ryodan, not just as their Dancho but as a person as well, and they come from a society where vengeance is a very… elaborate and essential ritual." The puppy half woke and gave her fingers a sleepy lick. Midoya smiled at it and stroked its tummy until it fell asleep again.

"So… you're not angry with them?"

Midoya raised an eyebrow at the question. "No," she said, and was amused when Pepeka looked relieved. "I am not angry with them. In fact, I was in constant communication with the Ryodan until Kuroro woke up from his coma. My impression is that most of them are not terribly angry with me, but if Kuroro decides to move against me, they wouldn't put up too much of a resistance either. At least that's Feitan's opinion. He was quite blunt about his willingness to snap my neck in half if that's what Kuroro wants. What a sweetie he is. I do like him; his straightforwardness is quite refreshing and he is very good with that umbrella of his. Do you know it actually is three separate weapons put into one? And he can use it out of battle during rainy days too. How smart is that?"

Pepeka groaned and put his head in his hands. "This is confusing. I… I mean, I actually like some of the Ryodan members. They're pretty cool if you get past that whole you know… _bandit_ thing," he complained. "And damn if I prefer it when we actually hate our enemies."

"It's always a bonus, yes," Midoya agreed. "But anyway, we have reached the crux of the issue. Pepeka, you weren't in danger prior to this. You weren't part of the mission to find the Infinity Gem, so the Ryodan had no reason to hunt you. Now that you've openly come to me, I have to assume you are in danger…"

"I'm still pissed with you for that," Pepeka said loudly, interrupting her.

Midoya blinked. "Pardon?" she questioned incredulously. She had _never_ heard Pepeka be genuinely mad at her before. Never even heard him claim to be genuinely mad at her before. He was always so… so… _docile_.

"I am pissed with you," Pepeka repeated wretchedly, as if he didn't know if he wanted to say what he was saying. "Why didn't you ask me for help? I could have helped you."

Alright, so he was just exaggerating how angry he was. Relieved, Midoya settled back in her chair and patted the puppy. "My dear, I did not think the mission suited your temperament," she explained gently.

"That's for me to decide, isn't it, sensei?" he asked, avoiding her eyes.

Oh. My. Goodness. Midoya gawked in open astonishment at Pepeka's half-determined, half-apologetic face. Her disciple, her little Pepeka had _grown a backbone_. She never thought he would ever grow up. Did she even want her little boy to grow up? Well of course; but not so fast. He was only… how old was he again? Fifteen? That can't be right. He was fifteen last year… and the year before… and the year before that. Goodness, he had to be at least sixteen by now, right? That would mean Pepeka was of legal age in some countries. _Legal_ age! She had never dreamed that she would see this day. They really grow up so fast. "Well… yes," Midoya said finally because Pepeka was starting to squirm uncomfortable under her gaze. "I am sorry, Pepeka. You are right; I should have let you decide for yourself."

"Uh…" Pepeka stammered, his face turning red. "I mean… I guess I get why you did that. You were only trying to protect me and um…" Ah, there was the old Pepeka again. It was good to know her sweet little pushover still existed. Midoya handled flux better than most people, but she still liked some things to remain constant.

"Of course," Midoya said kindly, ending his embarrassment. "But anyway, as I was saying, you are in danger now, Pepeka. The Ryodan might decide to come for you. I want you to pack your bags and get out of York Shin until I let you know it is safe to return."

Pepeka's jaw set in the way it only did when he talked to Kuroro. "No," he said stubbornly and with _genuine conviction_. "I'm not leaving, sensei."

The surprises just kept coming. "No?" Midoya asked, shocked. Well, it was not like he was her subordinate or anything like that, but Pepeka never said no to her, not in a tone of such… finality at least. It was practically unheard of. This was absolutely shocking. Midoya kept expecting figures in white to burst in declaring that she had finally caught the family disease and gone bat shit crazy.

"I mean," Pepeka corrected hurriedly, "it's not a good idea. I mean, they can pursue me out of York Shin, right? I mean, if I'm on a blimp, I'm fucking vulnerable, right? And like, I am totally not as powerful as any of the Ryodan members. If I met like… just one of them on a blimp, I'll still end up dead. Uh. Yeah. So it's not like uh… not like I'm disagreeing with you, I'm just uh… thinking of you know… other stuff and like... uh things."

"Good point," Midoya said slowly, still eyeing the increasingly flustered Pepeka. "What do you suggest then?"

"Uh… Me?" Now Pepeka was the one who looked surprised. "I guess… uh… I should stick around you." Midoya opened her mouth to protest and Pepeka went on quickly, "I mean, it makes sense right? Sensei, you're one of the few Hunters in history to have gone against the Ryodan _three_ times and survived! Where else will I be safer than with you? I mean… I mean… if I'm with you, you can totally protect me and… and stuff. Because… you know… you are like so powerful and smart and…" Pepeka blushed deeply "pretty and sweet… uh... and yeah."

Good… _lord_. Pepeka was trying to _manipulate her_. It was painfully obvious, but it was still an attempt to _be subtle_. Midoya discreetly poked the wound in her arm just to make sure she hadn't passed out from blood loss and dreamt this whole thing up, and was rewarded with a spurt of fresh blood. Right. Still in reality. Great. Maybe? "That's… not a bad idea," she said finally, because Pepeka deserved to be rewarded for growing up without her realising he had. "I think that might work."

"Really?" Pepeka perked up and grinned brilliantly at her. "Cool! Uh… so… I just stick around here?"

"Of course not." Midoya smiled at his naivety. "I'm June Kito here, Pepeka, not your sensei. June Kito doesn't have many dealings with the Hunter Association, so you have to have a reason to be here. Fortunately, I have the perfect cover for you."

"Uh… yeah?"

Taking a moment to school her face into June's smile, June Kito reached across the table and grabbed Pepeka's hand in a professional shake. "Hello Blacklist Hunter Timbal," she said briskly. "Welcome onto the Kito estate payroll as my personal bodyguard."

Pepeka stared at their linked hands then met her eyes with a bemused look on his face. "Okay, uh… hi, Miss Kito," he said. Then with great feeling, "Bran is going to be so fucking pissed with me."

* * *

Just about the time a very nervous Pepeka was explaining to an increasingly irate Bran what his new assignment was, Kuroro Lucifer was sitting in the Ryodan's base, shivering from the cold winter night and staring at his phone in an attempt to will it to _ring_.

The bombing of the _Rose Petal Boudoir_ had taken place well over forty-eight hours ago. There was ample time for Midoya to examine the evidence, see his gifts to her and draw her conclusions. Why had she not called him yet? Was the method of giving her a CD and an alligator's head the wrong method of courtship in Midoya's case? Or was Midoya simply being stubborn about them remaining as ex-lovers? Wouldn't it be polite for her to at least _call_ him now that she must know he was in town? She knew how impatient he was with being ignored. It was one of the few things he could not endure and she'd never let him suffer for this long before.

Frowning, Kuroro rubbed his hands together as he stared at the phone even harder. It remained mutinously silent. Kuroro idly debated electrocuting its inner circuits until it gave in to his demands and _rang_.

Eventually, he decided (much to the relief of his phone) that it wouldn't be very productive to destroy it. There was no point in killing the messenger after all. The one he had to target was Midoya. He needed to figure out exactly why she wasn't contacting him and what he could do about that. There were very few ways he could go about doing this. Midoya's mind was a complex labyrinth that was not, as recent events showed, necessarily particularly sane even at the best of times. Nor was she the type to share her thoughts with other people. Finding someone who actually knew why she…

The dark aura zooming towards him was barely perceptible until the last moment, but Kuroro was already moving, leaping away from his previous position and pulling his book out. However, the heavy weight from on top was unexpected enough to throw him off balance. Twisting like a snake, Kuroro levered his torso around and delivered a kick to the person on top of him. The person took the blow straight in the solar plexus, and shot off like a rocket. Kuroro started to get up – but realised his limbs were _stuck_ to the floor.

The figure lying a short distance away started to laugh hysterically. "Kuroro," a familiar voice purred, breathing hard, "as feisty as ever."

"Hisoka," Kuroro said, straining against his restraints then relaxing into it. With Hisoka so near to him, Bungee Gum was going to be at its toughest and near impossible to break. There was no point in wasting energy on an impossible task. "What are you doing here?"

In response, Hisoka straddled him with a sinuous grace. "Kill you now," he panted, hands groping at Kuroro's coat urgently. "Kill you and bathe in your blood." Kuroro cringed as his coat was pushed off his shoulders and his shirt torn open. That was inconvenient; the weather was absolutely _freezing_.

Kuroro raised an eyebrow questioningly as Hisoka's teeth dug into his skin just under his collarbone. Something warm and wet dripped onto his bare stomach, and Kuroro was ready to be grossed out until he caught the scent of something metallic and salty. He squinted down at the red liquid splashing onto him and decided that unless something was very wrong with Hisoka's testicles, he didn't have to worry too much about his sanity. The liquid dripping onto him was more likely to be blood than anything else. Belatedly, he realised Hisoka was badly wounded with at least half a dozen deep cuts along his arms and torso. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Fucking you," Hisoka panted, fumbling with the complicated belt Kuroro was wearing (thank goodness for complex buckles; almost as good as chastity belts, those). "Fucking you hard. Fucking you till you scream. Fucking you till you _die._" He giggled madly and gripped Kuroro's hips roughly.

"Ah, I should have been able to deduce that your intentions lie somewhere along those lines given that your ah… penis is glowing." Kuroro tilted his head. "I'm not going to ask the obvious question and just assume that the answer is 'yes, you are using _Ko_ on your penis'. Why, I have no idea and would rather not speculate. Some things just shouldn't be shared."

Instead of replying, Hisoka giggled maniacally and ripped Kuroro's belt in half. Panting, he slipped the torn leather into his mouth and moaned as he sucked on it.

Well, someone had gotten Hisoka excited. He had obviously been in a fight, a difficult one from the look of things, and was now high on blood lust… among other kinds of lust. "Sorry, Hisoka, I've got a headache," Kuroro deadpanned and teleported Hisoka across the space of the room. He tried to break Bungee Gum again, but it was still too strong.

In the meantime, Hisoka had picked himself off the jumble of crates Kuroro had teleported him into, his eyes glowing madly in the dark. "Can't hold back," he whispered, "need you. Need to see you bleed. Need to see you…" Since the following only contained more explicit sexual content that promised violence and rape, Kuroro ignored the ranting man and quickly flipped the pages in his book to another skill.

"_Phantasie Dom_, Phantasy born, _Ying_," Kuroro muttered in quick succession and felt his form dissipate into a white mist. Immediately, the pressure against his limbs disappeared and he flowed to the top of the Dome. The rebound effect of using so much Nen so rapidly in one go gave him a headache but Kuroro ignored that in favour of confronting the dangerous man in front of him.

Hisoka let out an eerily girlish squeal of pleasure and leapt straight at him. Swiftly, Kuroro circled around, deliberately avoiding him. Then at the last moment, he converged on Hisoka, burning his skin off and causing him to moan.

"Oh, oh yes," Hisoka breathed, spreading his arms and bathing in the fog. "I miss this! More! Give me more!"

Instead of obliging him, Kuroro moved to the furthest point in the Dome away from Hisoka and reformed into Midoya's human shape. "Hisoka," he said sternly. "I have questions to ask you."

"No time for talk," Hisoka breathed, licking his lips. "I like that form. I like that a lot."

"Hisoka," Kuroro repeated, ignoring the way Hisoka stalked towards him, rolling hips and all, "did Midoya send you?"

At the sound of that name, Hisoka's hips bucked forward sharply and he whimpered greedily. "Midoya-chan," he breathed, giggling. "Oh, so strong, so delicious. I want _more_ of Midoya-chan. I want to bathe in her blood. I want to feel her writhing against me. I want to see her die."

Been there, done that, Kuroro thought wryly. Then another thought occurred to him. "Midoya did this to you?" he asked, nodding at the multiple wounds on the pale body, and Hisoka moaned in confirmation. That was… interesting news. "Hisoka, where is Midoya?"

"Bleeding on the floor," Hisoka whispered, hissing as he ran his hands up his sides in a gesture that was entirely sexual.

"She's dead?" Kuroro asked, startled. Well, that was one reason why Midoya wouldn't have contacted him.

"Not dead," Hisoka replied, sounding slightly saner. "Looking so coldly at me… her eyes… like she wants to kill me… to… hurt me… Couldn't control … had to _cut_ her…" He shuddered and moaned, nails digging into the palms of his hands, drawing blood.

Oh. Not dead. Good. If not, that would have been one big waste of dynamite. "Does Midoya know I am looking for her?" Kuroro asked.

"_Yes_," Hisoka hissed and a look of great tragedy filled his face. "She does… The impossible…"

"What's impossible?"

"Not doing anything," Hisoka moaned tragically. "Ryodan's coming and she is not doing anything! Let them be, she said, let _them be_!" He tilted back his head and howled. Still howling, he leapt towards Kuroro again, hands outstretched to pin Kuroro down again.

"Yang," Kuroro snapped and socked Hisoka in the face.

Instead of dropping to the ground unconscious, Hisoka laughed and kissed Kuroro roughly. If Kuroro had any lips in this form, he would have gotten thoroughly depressed and possibly contemplated suicide. However, as fortune would have it, he didn't have any lips and couldn't feel the kiss, so all he did was quickly leap back, putting some distance between him and Hisoka before closing his book.

The Dome dissolved and Kuroro felt his form shift back to his own. "Thanks for the information, Hisoka," he said amiably. "I'm just going to have to leave now because I really don't want to have sex with you."

Before Hisoka could react, Kuroro teleported himself away, repeating the skill over and over again until he was certain he was far enough that Hisoka wouldn't be able to find him. It was only then that Kuroro allowed a scowl to spread over his face.

Not. Doing. Anything. Kuroro stared grouchily at his feet which had miraculously landed in some sort of animal's dung. A perfect metaphor for his life, he felt. That… _woman_. He went through so much trouble, so much time and effort, so much money just to make an elaborate gift for her, and she decides to do _nothing_? What reason could there be for that? Well, no matter. With the information Hisoka had provided, there was only one move he could make anyway.

Kuroro pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled Shalnark's number.

"_Dancho,"_ Shalnark greeted on the second ring. _"What's up? Has Kito called you back?"_

"No," Kuroro replied and filled him in on what had happened so far.

"_Ignoring you?"_ Shalnark asked. _"That's odd."_ He paused and added brightly, _"Maybe she's playing hard to get. I read that in a book that claims men and women are from different planets. Quite odd, I would say, since men and women are from the same species, so of course we came from the same world. Anyway, apparently the tactic is to pretend to not notice any romantic advances in favour of encouraging more romantic advances. It's quite an elementary form of reverse psychology." _

Kuroro pursed his lips in thought. "It is possible," he said slowly. "This level of manipulation seems rather beneath Midoya though. Whatever the case, I am afraid she has forced my hand. Get the rest on standby. I'm going to blow up another one of her brothels. I do not know precisely why she is ignoring me, but doing so will prove that I am determined to get out of this abhorrent state of being."

"_Okay,"_ Shalnark agreed. _"Which brothel do you want to blow up then, Dancho?"_

Kuroro closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had left most of his plans in the base where Hisoka was. Hopefully, once Hisoka left, he could go back and retrieve them. However, one of the things he had memorised was a map of York Shin. In his mind, he could clearly see the detailed map covered with a large array of pins. Green for Midoya's mansion and ex-penthouse. Red for all the brothels she owned. Yellow for the other non-sex trade related corporations under the Kito umbrella. Blue for the houses of known associates of Midoya. In York Shin, that meant just Pepeka's apartment. The _Rose Petal Boudoir_, the brothel the Ryodan had blown up, was one of the smaller properties Midoya, or more accurately, June Kito owned. It was prominent yes, and catered to some important and rich clients, but still small. This time, he was going to make a point.

"We're going to go for one of her larger brothels," Kuroro said. "Which ones are those?"

"_The three largest are Amare, Spring Fleur and the Velvet House. Which one are you aiming for, Dancho?"_

Which one indeed. "The _Spring Fleur_. It's big, in the central area, and relatively easy to sneak into," he said. "Get me a detailed blueprint of the brothel."

"_Okay, Dancho. I'll send it to your phone." _A pause. _"Say, what are you going to do if Kito ignores the second bombing as well?" _

"If she ignores me again?" Kuroro's eyes glowed a cruel winter blue in the dark. "Well then, I'm going to have to blow up a third building. Then a fourth and perhaps a fifth. Rinse and repeat, until she finally comes back to me."

"_Right,"_ Shalnark said cheerfully. _"Well then, we've better get down to it, right Dancho?" _

* * *

A/N: Remember to leave a review! Reviews make me happy!

Trivial: Nobody would know the abuse that Kuroro's phone (known to its friends as KuPh) went through at the hands of its owner. As befitting the Dancho of the infamous Genei Ryodan, Kuroro Lucifer was not a kind master. When expecting a call, he would stare unblinkingly at a nervous, broken KuPh for hours on end. When not expecting a call, he frequently neglected to charge a starving KuPh no matter how much it begged. If he did not want to be bothered, he often left KuPh switched off for weeks on end, leaving the trembling phone suspended in the dark, timeless liminal space between life and death that was the Power Off until it believed it would go insane. If Master was bothered, his hand would often clench tightly around KuPh, squeezing its covers until something _popped_.

But, the most horrible torture KuPh ever had to endure under the tyrannical rule of his master happened approximately one year ago. At the thirteenth hour of that fateful night, KuPu had been surprised to be awoken from Sleep mode by his master. As it groggily activated, it felt his master summon his Camera function.

A distinctively feminine giggle echoed eerily in the dim light and KuPh woke up even further. A sense of dread filled it as it stared dumbly through its Camera Lens at the figure before it.

"If you put these up on the Net, I will castrate you," the naked woman said, laughing.

"Just for my personal viewing, I promise," Master replied with a smile. "Now pose."

That night KuPh saw things that could never be unseen, things that could not be un-remembered, unless Master chose to clear its Memory Files, which he did not.

KuPh, all his friends agreed, was never the same since then.


	4. Bombing the Spring Fleur

**A/N:** The sequel to "A Series of Very Criminal Activities".

This is a very weird and… crazy story. It's not much of an action story (though of course with the Ryodan involved, you can't avoid all the violence and gore etc entirely). The Ryodan wouldn't appear much either, because it is a romance story and the Ryodan isn't very romantic in my opinion, so for those who wanted to see more of the Ryodan, I apologise.

And… I have nothing else to say but this: please forgive me, I knew not what I have done.

Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me.

* * *

Bombing the _Spring Fleur_

_Newsflash! Newsflash! Terrorist Attack or Negligence in Safety Procedures? _

_Breaking news in York Shin City tonight! The residents of York Shin were today greeted to the sight of the Rose Petal Boudoir, an exclusive society club for the rich and famous, going up in flames. Late last evening, a bomb went off in the Rose Petal Boudoir, followed shortly by a series of fireworks. In a statement released by the police early this morning, the Commissioner said:_

_At nine fifteen p.m. last night, a bomb exploded in the Rose Petal Boudoir. No lives were lost though several employees were hurt badly. No one has come forward to claim credit for the attack, though several members of the purist cult, Purity of the Soul, have been brought in as witnesses. _

_The Commissioner refused to answer questions regarding the motives behind the attack and whether the members of the Purity of the Soul have been arrested as suspects. An unnamed source close to the investigation has informed us that the members are being interrogated, though none of them have yet confessed. _

_Kito Enterprises, which owns the club, have also released a short statement. Speaking to the press, Ms Rose, manager of the Rose Velvet Boudoir has expressed her deepest condolences for the victims of the attacks on behalf of Ms June Kito, CEO of Kito Enterprises. She also said that they are working diligently with the police to find those responsible and ensure that they are brought to justice. _

_As of this moment, word from our unnamed source suggests that Ms June Kito may face charges by the state for negligence in safety procedures. Several individuals, including Mr Davin Mauredes of Mauredes Pte Ltd, a pharmacy that was situated next to the Rose Petal Boudoir and which had sustained damages from the explosion, have raised charges against Kito Enterprises. _

_And now, for other news. Is it true that celebrity and socialite Gerri Jy… _

_Bzzzt. The television switched off. _

_Teeth gleamed dully in the afterglow of the television as fingers tapped the armrest of the mahogany couch. How interesting, how fascinating, how satisfying, that someone would actually dare attack the infamously cruel June Kito. Watch her brothel burn! Smell the fumes! Feel the fire! Oh, how angry she must be, how furious; cold as ice and blazing like a blizzard. She was nice like that, squirming, cursing, spitting fire as she smothered under the growing heap of debris. _

_Wouldn't it be fun to pile more on? To fan the flames? To gently urge the cinders until they blazed in the night sky?_

_Wouldn't it be fun to torch that witch? _

_How interesting, how fascinating, how satisfying… _

* * *

With a final click, the bomb armed itself. Kuroro put the screwdriver down and stretched his aching back. It popped satisfyingly.

Now rotating his shoulders, he glanced at his watch.

Good. Just in time.

* * *

Outside the window of her penthouse, the sun was setting, casting a cold, dull light over the city that never sleeps. This high up, the neon lights of the city did not interfere with the natural beauty of the sky, and the view was absolutely stunning. Stars blazed above her like tiny beacons of fire, each ready to rain down upon the city below in a shower of meteors. Ah, what dark thoughts. Shivering, Midoya drew her bathrobe tighter and turned away from the window. Her brain was full of them this day and that was not good for her soul. It was time to recalibrate her mental process.

Picking up a book and a cup of tea, Midoya retreated onto her bed (she really needed to get her house refurnished quickly) and curled up under the sheets. Wriggling about until she was in a comfortable position, Midoya settled in and propped the book up on her lap with a sigh of pleasure. There was nothing better than a little bit of reading after a full day of hard, tireless work. If Kuroro was around to give her a back rub, it would be even better. Since he wasn't, she would settle for the world of cyborgs and virtual realities. At least they didn't demand vigorous, draining sex in return for small favours done.

And it was of course, at that very moment, just when she was starting to sink into the futuristic dystopia that her phone rang.

Jerking back to the horrid, cold real world of unemployment, finances and court cases, Midoya glanced at her phone and briefly considered eviscerating the thing. Unfortunately, that was June Kito's phone that was ringing. She couldn't ignore it; it might have something to do with the reconstruction of the _Rose Petal_ or the lawsuits against her.

Oh, the life of an honourary Mafioso _sucks_.

With a sigh, she shook the lethargy out of her voice and picked up the phone. "June Kito," June said coldly.

"_Ah, June! My little girl! Richard here."_ June closed her eyes and tried not to groan. _"I've heard all about the Boudoir. What a mess you've got on your hands! Is it true the owners of the buildings at the edges of the explosion are suing you?" _

"Mr Temple," June greeted, staring at her ceiling and contemplating peppering it with throwing knives (not that June would know how to throw a knife). "How nice to hear from you; I greatly appreciate your concern."

Boisterous laughter resounded through the phone and June pulled the gadget away from her ear before it deafened her. _"You and your 'Mr Temple'… You are too cute, you know that? Jesus Christ, I wish I could see your serious little face now. Loosen up, girl! It's not the end of the world."_

"Quite," June replied, and just because no one was watching, let Midoya put a throwing knife through the ceiling anyway, with a satisfying _thunk_. "Can I help you with anything, Mr Temple?"

"_Uh uh, Wrong question, chica. The question is: can I help you with anything?"_ She could hear the grin in his voice. _"I can make those bastards suing you disappear, you know?" _

So could June or Midoya, but that was beside the point. She was _choosing_ not to make them disappear because of how well-known this little incident was becoming. It would really, really piss the Association off if they even caught the hint of her bribing, or worse, offing people who were being a pain in the you-know-what. "It's quite alright, Mr Temple," June said, even as Midoya fondled another knife and eyed the ceiling with the gleam of destructiveness in her eyes. "I'm handling this quite well."

"_Of course, kiddo, but I know how difficult it is for a young girl like you to deal with this. Tell you what, June. Let's trade. I'll help you for a price."_

"Mr Temple…

"_Hear me out, sweetheart. I was your daddy's friend; I have your best interests at heart."_ Then without waiting for an answer, he said, _"If you'll be my mistress, I'll make this entire mess go away. Poof. Gone. Never to be seen again. What do you think?" _

The knife already stuck in the ceiling split in half with a heavy thud when a second knife slammed into it. "I will have to reject your kind offer, Mr Temple," June said coldly. "I believe I am quite capable of handling this affair myself."

He laughed again, loud, boisterous and unoffended. _"Alright,"_ he said with indulgent amusement. _"If that's what you want. Just so you know, my offer still stands, so think carefully about it. I take proper care of my women, you know? They never have to care about lawsuits and stuff like that."_

Without waiting for her answer, he hung up, leaving Midoya lying on the bed, staring at her cracked ceiling and contemplating hunting Richard Temple down and throttling the life out of him.

* * *

Just about the time Midoya had given up on her book and called Pepeka over so she could gain some entertainment by embarrassing him with videos of some of the more adventurous clients that visit her brothels, Kuroro was standing outside the _Spring Fleur_ trying not to freeze to death as he regarded the building before him.

When Kuroro had visited the _Rose Petal Boudoir_, the first thing that had struck him was how unlike it was to the only other brothel he had ever visited. Instead of low lighting, bad beer, and hard-used women, the _Boudoir_ featured tea and biscuits, natural-looking lighting and women dressed prettily in faux-Victorian era fashion. The rooms were ornate and luxuriously decorated. The air was scented with something light, floral and feminine. No one felt the need to let him examine and grade their breasts within the first seven seconds of meeting. It was almost a pity he had to blow up the building, but he comforted himself with the knowledge that June Kito owned at least another fifty of those, so it's not like one building was a huge loss.

Shortly after stepping into the _Spring Fleur_, Kuroro immediately realised that his assumption that all of June's brothels looked alike was very, _very_ wrong.

"Good evening, mystical traveller!" the pink-haired pixie at the door greeted him chirpily. "I am Flora, your magical guide for today!"

"Good evening, Flora," Kuroro replied without missing a beat (because it would take a lot more than an almost-naked woman wearing a pair of wings to shock the Dancho of the Genei Ryodan).

She beamed warm sunshine at him and invited him in with a cheery wink. "Shall I take your coat?" she asked, bouncing along energetically next to him.

"Do that and I shall instantly turn into a block of ice in your doorway. You wouldn't like that because no one else will be able to get by me and the business will suffer terribly. I will be that cold," Kuroro said and clung protectively to his coat.

"Oh! An ice mage!" Flora squealed, clapping her hands delightedly and spilling glitter all over the floor. "How delightful! We do love your kind here, wizard!"

"Mages and wizards are not quite the same," Kuroro commented wryly and the pixie faltered for a moment, looking lost. On the understanding that this pixie worked for Midoya and contributed substantially to her income (which translated often into _his _income), Kuroro kindly added, "But they are almost the same, so you didn't quite get it wrong."

"Oh, you are too kind," the pixie bubbled with just the slightest note of panic in her voice and led him deeper into the brothel.

As the pixie walked ahead of him, chatting on about magical creatures of the night and mystical energies filling the room, Kuroro took a look around the inside of the building. Instead of the ornate, turn of the century décor of the _Rose Petal_, someone had turned the inside of the _Spring Fleur_ into an idealised forest glade. Real rainforest trees lined the walls, bending gently over a floor of green carpet grass. In one corner was a waterfall at least a storey high that cascaded into a pond occupied by women wearing fake tails whom he took to be mermaids. The scent in the air was fresh and grassy, and a gentle breeze, no doubt man-made, flowed through the glade. Frolicking in the grass were 'centaurs', people, both men and women, naked from the torso up wearing some kind of mechanised lower body of a horse. More fairies and pixies of varying sexes, sizes and colouring fleeted about, playing with suggestively innocent cheer among the trees.

"This is the entrance to the mystical world of _Spring Fleur_, the Forest of Delights," Flora gushed. "I am a resident of this world. But if you so choose to, Ice Mage, you can travel to other worlds within the realm. The floors below contain Underworld Paradise and the Dark Lands, while the floors above host Castle in the Clouds and Sweet Desert."

"Very nice," Kuroro murmured absently, wondering how the 'mermaids' in the pond managed to move about while wearing their costumes. No doubt a good amount of abdominal strength was needed. He applauded them for their immense physical prowess and the training that must have gone into attaining and maintaining it.

"So," Flora said, turning around to give him a mischievous look, "tell me what you want, mystical traveller. Tell me which creatures you desire to meet, and which worlds you wish to travel to, and I shall guide you there."

Kuroro frowned thoughtfully in a manner which he hoped resembled a man wondering what kind of mystical, magical creature he would like to shag that day. The plan for the bombing of _Spring Fleur_ had been a lot more complicated than the one for the _Boudoir. _Because of the way the _Spring Fleur_ was designed, with several floors below ground level and several floors above, to fully bring the whole place down, they needed to plant two separate sets of explosives, one below ground and one above ground. That necessitated him moving fluidly between the various levels.

"I'm not sure," he finally said to the waiting Flora. "Could I take a look around before I decide?"

Flora beamed. "Of course, wizard," she said cheerfully. "Which lands would you like to explore first?"

The blueprints of the brothel indicated that directly below the Forest of Delights was the Underwater Paradise, and directly above the Forest was the Sweet Deserts. Those were the two floors he had selected to plant the explosives in. "Underwater Paradise first, please," he said.

"Sure thing!" Flora chirped, practically prancing around him to pick up a bag placed in a discrete corner. "Do you have your own water gear, wizard? Do you require the clothing of the Sea People?"

Kuroro blinked at the item of clothing presented to him. "It's a pair of swimming trunks," he observed. "In point of fact, it is a very small and insubstantial pair of swim trunks that I doubt will protect my modesty or my core body temperature much. What is the purpose of this impractical piece of cloth? Do the ah… Sea People really dress like this?"

"Uh…" the pixie floundered for a moment. "Yes, the Sea People they wear… swim gear like… that. It's for uh… easy… removal." Oh yes, he should remember he was in a brothel, not a carnival. People come here specifically to have their modesty violated in very creative and humiliating ways.

"I don't need it," Kuroro said, since he didn't anticipate shedding his modesty any time in the near future.

"Alrighty!" Flora said, immediately regaining her good cheer, and leading him towards an elevator. "Is this your first time here?" she asked, as they waited. "Do you wish me to address you as something other than 'wizard'?"

"Yes, it's my first time," Kuroro replied. "And you may continue addressing me as 'wizard', if you wish, though personally I find that the term does not cover the full range of my skills and abilities. With my current skill set, I think it is more accurate to think of me as a boggart or an elf. After all, I tend to be mischievous and take things that are not mine." Flora gaped at him, her large eyes wide with confusion and uncertainty. "But then," Kuroro told her kindly, "I am no shape-shifter and I have no reason to turn milk sour, so perhaps it is best you just call me a wizard instead."

Flora gulped and her large eyes grew wet. "I'm sorry," she whispered brokenly. "It's my first day playing a fairy and I'm still new and I have no idea what all these categories and terms mean. Please don't tell anybody I screwed up. Please."

"You didn't screw up," Kuroro said, surprised. "Not many people are well-read in folklore so I don't expect you to know the difference between the various creatures. And since this is merely role-play, you can call me anything you like. It's not like it is real after all."

"That's true!" the pixie brightened up immediately. "Oh, thank you sir! I promise I will do much better!"

"That's a very positive attitude to take," Kuroro praised though he had no idea what she intended to be much better at, and she beamed and slipped her arm around his.

A short while later the elevator arrived and they got onto it.

"Um," Kuroro commented, staring at what the young man on his knees was doing to the centaur straddling him.

"Um," Flora agreed, and they as one turned their backs on the couple.

"At least it's a short ride," Kuroro muttered.

"A very short ride," Flora agreed.

Fortunately, that was the case for no longer than thirty seconds later, the elevator dinged and slid open.

"Welcome to Underwater Paradise!" Flora exclaimed, pulling gently on his arm to coax him out of the elevator.

"Very nice," Kuroro said, impressed despite himself as he allowed her to drag him out of the elevator car.

The Underwater Paradise was, in essence, a giant aquarium. The ceiling, walls and floor of the huge hall before him were made of glass, behind which swam hundreds of sea creatures, from the common ones like sharks and coral reef dwellers to magical beasts like water dragons and marine tigers. In the middle of the hall was a shallow pool occupied by 'mermaids' and 'mermen', the stars of the show. Customers, generally older, hairier and less aquatically-inclined men waded through the pool or reclined on chairs by the side.

"Do you like it… wizard?" Flora asked almost shyly.

"It is… interesting," Kuroro said neutrally. Having gotten over the pleasant surprise of finding this pretty little collection of expensive ornamental sea-life, he found himself wondering furiously where he could plant a bomb in this place. Everything was clear glass and water; where were all the hidey holes and dark places when you needed them? How was he to seduce Midoya when this place was not conducive for criminal activities at all?

As he was still thinking, a mermaid swam over, long hair trailing behind, and perched herself at the edge of the pool next to Kuroro. "Greetings weary traveller," she said in an enchanting voice, "may I offer you rest and respite from your long journey? The magic of my people is well-known for soothing the body and soul, and I am the best of my kind."

"Oh." Kuroro ran her short speech through his mind again, took a moment to recall where he was, and blinked at her. "Are you propositioning me?" he asked.

The mermaid laughed melodiously. Kuroro wasn't even aware people could do that outside of musicals. "You may say so, if it pleases you," she said and lowered her eyelashes demurely.

"I am impressed. That was the most subtle proposition I have ever received," Kuroro told her and she smiled warmly at him. "Still, I have to ask," he went on, "how on earth does one have sex with a mermaid? The ah… logistics of it boggles the mind."

"She takes off her costume when…" Flora started to say then stopped when the mermaid widened her eyes frantically at her. "I meant…" Flora floundered. "I meant uh… the uh… Sea People they…"

"When I come onto land, my tail disappears and I grow legs like a normal human," the mermaid told him quickly. "Alas, it is both a blessing and a curse of my people for if we are away from water too long, we are reduced to mere humans, forced to walk the dry earth forever."

"Ah, that makes sense," Kuroro said brightly. "Do you know that the tale, _The Little Mermaid_, can be seen as an allegory for the desire of a young girl to blossom sexually into womanhood? To change from a mermaid to a human is, of course, the transition from an asexual fish into a sexual female being that can spread her legs for a man. Quite fascinating, isn't it? Especially if one takes into account the fact that the mermaid dies in the end, turning into foam as she does. And foam is, of course, a being that has no sexuality whatsoever, not unless you subscribe to certain Eastern philosophies which would argue that 'foam' being wet and airy can be associated with femininity. I am, of course, referring to Taoism which, to my shallow knowledge, seems to have little to do with the original story. Either way, I sense some kind of repression of feminine desire in the fairy-tale but…" He belatedly realised both Flora and the mermaid were gaping at him blankly, so he added pacifyingly, "You have very nice breasts."

"Thank you," the mermaid replied hesitantly. "Do you wish to enter my domain now?"

"Just for a walk," Kuroro told her and set off to take a stroll around the pool.

While he had been talking to the fascinating young lady, Kuroro had also been looking around the hall (multi-tasking was one of his many talents). With the way it was designed, he realised that his best bet was to leave the explosives under one of the chairs. It was practically the only hiding spot in the room, and he needed the explosives to remain undiscovered until he had exited the hotel.

So, pretending to be admiring the many wet and heaving chests in the pool, he headed straight for the nearest empty chair and plopped down on it. "This is nice," he said, as if he were admiring the hall. "Do the mermaids and mermen get sick of being in the water for so long?"

Next to him, Flora hesitated, obviously trying to decide if he was asking a 'mystical' question or not. "No," she replied, having decided on the former, "they live and thrive in water, wizard."

"Of course they don't, Flora," Kuroro said patiently. "I am well-aware that they are humans dressed as mer-people. Having to work in the water for so long must be very taxing on their skin. When I soak in a bath for an excessive amount of time, I end up wrinkled and pruned, like an old man, and feeling absolutely detestable. I can't imagine being in a pool for hours on end."

"I…" Flora blinked and stared at her feet. "I guess it is hard work," she said finally, looking around guiltily, "but it's not as hard as working on the streets. The pay is good and not commission-based, and the health package is excellent. And Miss Kito is real nice to us.

"You know June Kito?" Kuroro asked, perking up as he turned his full attention on her.

"I've only met her once," Flora said, shaking her head. "She looked really cold and distant to me, but I think she must be a good person because, well, like I said, she's real kind to us." She flushed. "I was stupid," she confessed. "I got with child real young, like about fifteen, and my parents kicked me out of the house. I ended up on the streets and you know how hard it is for a young girl to be on the streets."

"I have some idea, yes."

"Miss Kito saved my life," Flora said quietly, suddenly looking a lot less ditzy and a lot older than her appearances belied. "A customer beat me up so bad I ended up at one of those charity hospitals. I was so sick with infection and malnutrition I wasn't even producing milk for my baby anymore. The people at the shelter referred me to one of Miss Kito's managers, Miss Rose, who interviewed me and hired me. Turns out Miss Kito has people in places like the hospital, looking out for people like me. It's… she's saved my life and my kid's too. My girl's five now and she's in school. Things are really good now."

"It is," Kuroro agreed absently. "I congratulate you on your good fortune."

Flora beamed. "Thank you," she said with genuine happiness.

Though he smiled back easily, Kuroro's eyes roamed around the hall, taking note of who was watching him. Many of the mermaids and mermen were, undoubtedly wondering if they should come over and proposition him. That wasn't necessarily as big a problem as it could become. The bomb was hidden in the Fun Fun Cloth, and the tiny bundle was in the inner pocket of his coat. It wouldn't be difficult to slip the little package into his hand and release it under the chair. All he needed was an excuse to reach under the chair…

"What's your name?"

Startled out of his thoughts, Kuroro glanced at the pink-haired woman next to him. "Excuse me?" he asked.

Flora turned as pink as her hair. "I… if it's not… if you don't mind… can you tell me your real name?" she mumbled shyly. "My real name is Janna, if you… you know…"

His first instinct was to tell her that she was playing a dangerous game, letting a total stranger know her real name. People in her position didn't have the luxury of becoming intimate with the people making use of her. Didn't she remember how she had ended up in a hospital in the first place?

Then it occurred to him that she was presenting him with an opportunity.

So, summoning up his brightest smile, Kuroro got off the chair and held her hand delicately in his. With a flourish, he dropped on one knee and kissed the back of her hand. "Kuroro, at your service," he murmured, head still bowed over her limp hand.

"Oh," she whispered, her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed. Ah, the research he had been doing lately was really paying off. There was, apparently, something about a man kneeling in front of her that makes a woman very happy. Likely, it had to do with the illusion of power it granted women in a society that is mostly governed by men. Illusions are such pretty things after all; much easier to fall for an illusion of power and admiration than stay firmly in a reality where women like her were abused all the time.

As she was busy staring at him with something disturbingly close to adoration in her eyes, his other hand slipped under the chair and released the Fun Fun Cloth. The bomb landed on the ground with a soft thud that Kuroro only heard because he was listening out for it. Mission accomplished, he straightened up and stopped smiling at her. "It's dangerous to tell your real name to customers though," he told her, giving in to his first impulse. "Not everyone will be kind to you or want to be kind to you."

"Of course," she said dazedly. "I… it's just… you are different. I know you are different. You are so… _nice_."

And as if those blasphemous utterances had angered some higher being who knew better, the world exploded around them in a raging storm of fire and wind.

* * *

The clock told her the hour was late. Pepeka was already asleep on the couch. The fantastical world of Dystopia was dead and gone.

Midoya closed the book with a tired sigh. Laying it aside, she glanced out of the window into the dim York Shin night sky.

What a beautiful night it was.

The perfect night for death.

* * *

As the fire and wind raged around him, singeing his clothes and threatening to tear him off the ground and into a whirlwind inferno, Kuroro's first reaction was to drop to the floor and peer under the chair with a look of utter bemusement on his face.

Because it didn't make sense. The bomb shouldn't have detonated so early. It should only go off if Kuroro set it off himself. He had set it that way, and had checked and rechecked it several times. There shouldn't be a problem with it.

Ah, as expected. Kuroro pulled out the bomb and stared at it. It hadn't gone off. So whatever had blown up this building hadn't been caused by him. That was good because... Kuroro looked around at the people dying around him… Midoya was going to be very angry when she saw how many people have died, and will die, today. Oops.

Speaking of death, Kuroro pocketed the bomb again (why waste perfectly usable dynamite?) and started looking around for an exit. He didn't know why this brothel had suddenly gone up in flames, but he knew from experience that it would collapse within minutes. Once that happened, he would be buried under a pile of burning rubble and probably end up dying a tragic and horrible death. Even if he wasn't crushed to death, smoke inhalation would kill him, and if the smoke didn't kill him, the water will. Kuroro glanced at the glass aquariums. The glass, amazingly, hadn't cracked from the explosion, though he could see the water within was starting to boil. But soon the fragile walls would collapse, and when the water flooded out, it would kill anyone still down here as easily as the fire would. Either way, it would all be very gory and embarrassing so it was probably time to get out of here.

Finally, Kuroro spotted the entrance to the elevator. He doubted the elevator would be functional now, but it should be possible to climb up the elevator shaft. This mission was turning out to be a total bust; the least he could do was escape with his life and try to salvage this mess. He started to make for the escape route - but stopped when a hand gripped his sleeve.

"What's going on?" Flora screamed shrilly as the wind whipped her about wildly. "What's going on?"

"A bomb just went off," Kuroro replied, having to shout to be heard over the wind. "You should probably get out of here if you want to live."

In reply, Flora screamed in terror as the fire raged closer to her, and tears started to stream down her face. "I don't want to die!" she screamed. "I don't want to die!" In an instant of pure enlightenment, Kuroro saw how this situation could be turned to his favour.

"Come on," he said, taking Flora's hand. "I'm getting you out of here."

"This isn't happening," she hiccuped, her face filled with shock, even as she cupped her ears, pressing painfully down on them. "This isn't."

"Okay, it isn't," Kuroro sighed, gripping her hand and starting to drag her towards the elevator.

"Oh good," she whispered and her face went entirely blank. Psychologically, Kuroro knew that was not a good thing for her, but at the moment, he appreciated it. It made her easier to control as he quickly steered her towards the elevator.

Reaching the elevator, he gripped the doors and pulled. Though the wound in his chest ached, he managed to pry the doors open. Glancing back at the young woman staring blankly at him as tears ran down her cheeks, he sighed and decided that it would be useless trying to get her to climb the shaft on her own. As quickly as he could (the shaft was filling rapidly with smoke), he tore off the plastic wings she wore and unceremoniously slung her over his shoulder. Then he wasted no time climbing the shaft, hoping that he wouldn't run into the elevator itself.

The climb was slow, made difficult by low visibility, and the increasingly hot metal and concrete under his hands. Once, the weight on his shoulder shifted and almost fell off, and Kuroro had to brace himself against a burning wall just to pull her back on.

It was really so much easier killing people than saving them. Kuroro wished now he had allowed Nobunaga or Machi to accompany him on this mission. He had thought it would appeal to Midoya more if he completed it personally and so had repeatedly rejected any attempts by the Ryodan to follow him. Now was the time to regret it and wish Nobunaga was here to lug the comatose fairy around for him. But since Nobu wasn't here, he had to do it himself – with a wound in his chest – and an uncomfortably thick shirt under his coat. Kuroro sniffed. Midoya had better appreciate what he was going through for her.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of climbing, grunting, gasping and generally feeling miserable, Kuroro reached the next floor. When the doors opened easily under his hands, Kuroro would have sighed with relief if he could have taken in enough breath to actually to do. The air, by this time, was so foul with smoke he couldn't see his own hands, which was not only highly inconvenient but potentially fatal.

Yet, he somehow made it, stumbling through the thick, acrid smoke past dead centaurs and fairies until he ran into a heavy metal barrier of some sort. Pushing his shoulder against it didn't make it bulge, so Kuroro reinforced a fist with Nen and blasted the door to pieces. Still dragging Flora, he finally burst out into the entrance of the hotel into the fresh, crisp air of a cold winter's night.

Though he wanted to just stop and inhale the comparatively fresh air of York Shin, Kuroro continued moving away from the burning brothel, unwilling to risk being hit by falling debris. In the distance, wailing sirens indicated that help was on the way. However, glancing back at the building, Kuroro already knew it was too late. No one had exited the building since he had, and he doubted anyone will. Plumes of flames shot out of every window, clouds of smoke poured out along with them; the entire building was engulfed in an inferno and all the souls in it have surely been burned out of existence.

"Am I safe?" the figure on his shoulder whispered dully.

Gently, Kuroro put her back on the ground and looked closely at her face. Her eyes were still dull, but her lips were starting to tremble with emotion. "Yes," he said calmly and she started to sob.

"I don't understand," she gasped. "I just don't understand."

"Neither do I," Kuroro confessed as he frowned at the stubbornly burning building. His detailed, meticulous plans had just been unexpectedly spoiled by somebody. The possibility of regaining Midoya's companionship was now greatly reduced. It was just as well he wasn't an emotional person or he would be tempted to join Flora in a little crying as well. "Flora," he said, and was promptly ignored. "Flora," he repeated with more authority in his voice and she looked at him. "I want you to pass something to June Kito when she comes by later," he said, retrieving another box from his coat.

"Miss Kito?" Flora asked weakly.

"Yes, I have no doubt you will meet her eventually. She will want to question you on what happened here."

"Yeah," Flora said numbly.

"Take this and pass it to her," Kuroro said slowly, as if speaking to a child. "Make sure you give it to her personally. It is very important."

"Alright," Flora agreed faintly, taking the box with little resistance.

"Good girl." The sirens were getting closer now, and it was starting to snow, so Kuroro gently pushed Flora into a corner where she wouldn't be run over by a hurried ambulance and turned to leave. Her fingers clutched his sleeve a second longer, but fell away from him once he was out of arm's reach.

Trusting that she would be fine until someone could come by for her, Kuroro continued walking away with hardly a glance back. There were too many things on his mind for him to be bothered about her. The mission to reacquire Midoya had just gotten more complicated. A third party was involved, one who was _screwing up his meticulous plans to re-seduce Midoya_.

Anyone walking past him now would have been terrified into silence by the way Kuroro's eyes glowed with a black light in the cold moonlight. Whoever had interfered with his plans was going to regret it. Midoya was the prey of the Dancho of the Genei Ryodan, was _his_ prey, and Kuroro never suffered to let anyone steal what was his.

* * *

_SECOND KITO PROPERTY BOMBED! HUNDREDS DEAD! TERRORISTS TO BLAME OR INEFFICIENT SECURITY?! JUNE KITO FACES LAWSUITS!_

_PURITY OF THE SOUL MEMBERS RELEASED! CLAIM POLICE BRUTALITY DURING INTERROGATION!_

_WHO IS THE WOMAN BEHIND THE SEX TRADE IN YORK SHIN?! RICH HEIRESS, BUSINESS WOMAN, CRIMINAL?!_

_Giggle. Snort. Giggle. Too funny. Way too funny. The figure threw the newspapers onto the couch and laughed hysterically, laughed until tears ran down chubby cheeks. Watch how the witch burns! Soon, the same customers who swarm to her brothels at night will crucify her just to save themselves. Oh watch how the witch burns! _

_This was just too much FUN! _

* * *

"There are uh… close to… six hundred dead… and uh… among them are important clients. Um… Mr Ronald Diego, brother of the Diego head is one. And um… Miss Jill Rivera, daughter of Mrs Roxanne Rivera, head of the Rivera family died there too. And um…" The papers fumbled in Sally's delicate hands and she dropped them. "Oh! I… I'm so sorry! I…" She glanced nervously at the person next to her. The person glanced back with a scowl.

"Okay, that's enough," June Kito said, taking the papers from Sally and arranging them neatly on her lap. "I've gotten the picture."

And what a picture it was too. By the time the fire patrol had reached the _Spring Fleur_, the whole building was nothing more than a blazing inferno of fire and death. The fire fighters couldn't even get close enough to the building to put the fire out, so they had opted to simply let it run its course. There couldn't possibly be any survivors left in the building anyway, not with how hot the fire was burning. So for two whole days, the central of York Shin City had been filled with the heat and fumes of the burning building until it finally collapsed under the weight of its own debris.

Then the excavations had started and a brand new chapter on this horror story was revealed with each body recovered. Some bodies had obviously been burned to dust, but others had remained, twisted, dry husks, a mere caricature of the human form. Customers and employees lay side by side where they had fallen, clutching at each other in the last throes of agony. The animals trapped in their watery graves had died alongside the humans. Many of them had been boiled alive before the glass broke. That was not something even Midoya would find cute. Too many of her people had died for that.

One had survived though. Only one, and she had survived under the most mysterious of circumstances.

"Flora, real name Janna Ramirez," June murmured, reading her file. "Repeat to me again how she got out of there."

Sally blinked and started searching amongst the papers spread over the car seat. "She um… she wasn't very coherent," the young secretary said finally. "Um… she was um… she's still in shock, but it says here that um… she kept saying she didn't understand… I think she meant she didn't understand the question… I guess? The uh… detective didn't give me any details so…"

"I see," June said coldly. Of course the detective refused to give her any information; that was why they needed to get to the hospital and question the survivor. Well, in truth she would have done so anyway. He just made the whole process a lot more tedious. "Mr Timbal, how much longer till we reach?"

Pepeka, in the driver's seat, glanced at the car's clock. "Ten minutes, ma'am," he said in the voice Midoya had started to realise was his 'professional' voice. She didn't have the heart to tell him it made him sound like he had a stuffy nose largely because she had a feeling his voice was a failed attempt to imitate her accent. But then, who knows? Maybe he was actually doing a great job of imitating her and that she sounded like she had a stuffy nose to other people as well.

"And they found two bombs?" June asked Sally instead.

"Um… yes…" Sally put out another piece of paper. "We uh… got our hands on it… and uh… they were incendiary bombs, Miss Kito. I guess that means they…"

"Set off fires. Yes, that's what _incendiary _means," June said with a tinge of impatience. "You also said that the entrance was blocked?"

"Yes… yeah… it's here." Sally passed her a piece of paper. "Normally the metal um… shutters aren't put down unless you know… the brothel's closed. But in this case… it seems uh… it seems the shutters were down, so no one could get out… I guess? And um… oh, the shutters blew out later though. Like… the police think maybe the explosion blew it out…?"

Or someone strong enough or well-versed enough in Nen knocked it down. "I see," June murmured, and blinked slowly in an attempt to rest her eyes without appearing to do so. "Is the Diego family still calling?"

Sally nodded. "Yes… they want to sue because… uh… they said you know… Mr Diego wouldn't be dead if he hadn't been there. And why did you let this happen… and stuff like that." She paused and flushed. "The um… Rivera family are joining them. And the uh… August family. They um… they're… teaming up I guess." The delicate face turned even redder. "Daddy says… he wanted me to tell you his uh… offer still stands?"

June Kito scowled and this time Midoya joined her. "They don't care that their family members are dead," she said coldly, ignoring the last comment. "They just want a chance to take a stab at me."

And what a chance it was. She could already guess most of what had happened. The Ryodan had blown up the _Rose Petal_ and had moved on to the _Spring Fleur_. She did not know why they chose to kill everyone in the latter but not the former, but no matter. What was done was done; they had destabilised her position and made her vulnerable to her enemies. Allowing such a thing to happen to her clients had provided them ample ammunition to threaten her position within the mafia. And there were all the dead people, the young men and women she employed… But that was how the Ryodan worked, wasn't it? This was what they did to people who harmed them.

"Miss Kito," Pepeka said, interrupting her thoughts. "We are here."

Opening her eyes, June looked out of the window at the grey building before her: the York Shin General Hospital where, as was the joke amongst the rich and famous, the commoners go to die. Personally, Midoya didn't know what was so wrong about affordable healthcare. It had saved the life of Janna Ramirez aka Flora after all.

"Thank you Mr Timbal," she said crisply and climbed out of the car. Immediately, she caught sight of something that made her scowl: Detective Bran waiting for her at the entrance with a scowl of his own. "Detective," she said, as she walked briskly towards him, Sally and Pepeka following behind her.

"Miss Kito," he said, eyes glinting. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm paying a visit to my employee, Detective Bran," June said firmly. "It's not a crime to offer help and assistance to one of my people who has gone through a terrifying ordeal, is it?"

To her surprise, he didn't voice a protest. He didn't even add an insult. Instead, he stepped aside to let her pass. Midoya and June exchanged glances, but neither could make sense of that so June decided to take advantage of it and quickly walked past him before he could change his mind.

Though both June Kito and Midoya lived hard and dangerous lives, neither of them could claim to have been in a hospital for any length of time. It wasn't just the unpleasant memories that she had of a miserable childhood spent within white walls similar to these or the fact that she didn't trust the staff in these public hospitals, it was also because of the presence hospitals had. She knew she wasn't the only one who felt it; most Hunters and Nen-users, people like Kuroro did too. Despite the antiseptic, despite all the cleaning that went on in hospitals, the stench of death and blood still lingered in the air, obvious especially to people like her with heightened senses. Not only could she smell disease and blood in the air, she could feel it, could sense death in the auras of the people lying behind white, plain doors. Hospitals were where people went to die, and she could feel it down to her bones.

"Ugh," she heard Pepeka mutter softly behind her and knew he felt it too.

At some point, Detective Bran had ended up walking in front of them. Wordlessly, he directed her straight to Ramirez's room. He didn't need to though; June had already found out before reaching the hospital which room the young woman was in. Just as before she reached, she had already heard about the state the young woman was in.

Still, it was one thing knowing and another thing seeing.

The first things that she saw were the eyes. Writers have used a particular phrase to refer to eyes like this for decades. 'Dead eyes', it was called, which was a misnomer, in Midoya's opinion. Eyes like that weren't dead. Dead eyes were glassy and blank, as if they were made of wax. Look into a dead man's eyes and you wouldn't see a thing; Midoya knew that from experience. Eyes like these were glassy, yes, and blank, but they weren't filled with nothingness. No, they were filled with the horror of memories played over and over and over again, relentlessly, mercilessly looping through the neural system. Death would have been a mercy.

"She hasn't responded in over twelve hours," Bran said from behind her, his voice tinged with a dark emotion June did not identify immediately.

"I see." June stared coldly down at the young woman lying on the bed, eyes staring sightlessly into the past. This was out of June's jurisdiction. June Kito was pampered, sheltered, and uncaring; she wouldn't know what to do with a case like this. She couldn't even sympathise with the kind of horrors this woman had endured. All she saw as she stared down at the still figure was a weak, pathetic creature no better than an amoeba, perhaps even less useful. Such a mentality was not good for getting information. As much as she hated it, she would have to let Midoya cross over into June's life. Midoya would be better at this. Midoya would be able to get answers.

"Leave the room and close the door," June ordered, and though it was expected, she was still annoyed when Bran refused to leave. Since Bran didn't want to leave, Pepeka didn't either, and in the end, only Sally ended up standing outside the room.

"I have to make sure you don't kill the only witness we have," Bran sneered but June ignored him. Instead, she sat next to the young woman and gingerly picked up her hand as if it were a used tissue she had found lying under her bed. With just a tiny bit of hesitation, she let the wall that was June Kito drop.

"Janna," Midoya said softly. "Can you hear me?" No response. That was to be expected so she continued, "Have you ever slept in the open before, out on the streets without a roof over your head?" No response, but Midoya knew she had. People like Ramirez lived on the streets before she found them. "Do you remember what the nights are like? It is cold, like ice, isn't it? No, it is worse than ice. It's the kind of chill that gets into your bone. Sometimes people don't know what a torture the cold can be in itself. It's a living thing, it burrows into your skin, steals every bit of warmth and strength from your limbs, and you shake and shake, and feel your life drain out of you with every second."

No response. Behind her, she could feel Bran's eyes boring into her back.

"Do you remember what makes you feel better?" Midoya murmured, gently stroking the cold hand between hers. "Fire." The fingers twitched. "It's not a very big fire; there's never enough fuel to burn on the streets of York Shin. But even if it is small, it is contained, inside a metal container perhaps, like a trash can. And it is so warm. You can feel it against your hands, you can feel it in your blood. You can feel it returning life to you." The fingers twitched some more. "The fire is nice, isn't it? It's so cheery, the only light in the dark. Even if you don't put it in so many words, you know what it represents. Everyone does. People always gather where there is light. It represents more than warmth and safety; it represents life, it represents society, it represents the human ability to conquer nature." She paused, and in a much gentler voice said, "But it burns sometimes." The hand was starting to shake in hers. "You've been burned before, haven't you?"

Abruptly, Janna jerked to life, pulling away from her with a terrified shriek, but Midoya held on to her hand, refusing to let her go. "Kito!" Bran shouted, hand grabbing her shoulder roughly, but she ignored him.

"You've been burned before, Janna," Midoya repeated with great intensity, forcing Janna to meet her eyes, "you've been burned _but you survived_." Janna froze in mid-struggle, staring back at her with tears streaming down her face. "You survived," Midoya repeated, hearing Bran grunt in pain when Pepeka physically started to pull him away. "You survived, just as you have survived again. You are alive, Janna, you are _alive_. You made it back to the light."

Pale lips started to tremble and Janna gulped back her tears. "I survived," she whispered and started to sob.

"Yes," Midoya agreed gently, feeling Bran let go of her shoulder as Pepeka finally dragged him off her. "Yes, you live, and that is something to celebrate." She paused, and added the kicker, "Caitlyn is on her way here, and she will be very happy to see you."

The sobs intensified and Janna sank into her arms. Though the pink hair tickled her nose, Midoya put her arms around the young woman and held her tightly, patiently waiting out the storm of emotions.

For several minutes, they sat like that until Janna's sobs started to taper off. Finally, she sat back and wiped her face. "Are you alright now, dear?" Midoya asked kindly, even as deep below, June cringed at the thought of anyone seeing her be kind. That was the kind of thing that could be taken as weakness in the circles June ran in. Midoya pointedly told her to suck it up and stop whining since this was all for the greater good. June ignored her with a disdainful flick of her hair.

"Yes," Janna said shakily, wiping at her red, blotchy face, "Oh lord, look at my face. I need to clean up. I don't want Caitlyn to see me like… like this…"

"Of course dear," Midoya said with a knowing nod. Ignoring the men standing in an awkward, half-aggressive stalemate behind her, she reached into her purse and pulled out wet wipes, a comb and a compact. "Our colours are similar enough," she said, eyeing Janna's face critically. "You could probably use this. I have a lipstick in here somewhere too. It's a little too red for you I think, but it will do for now."

"Thank you," Janna said, and her eyes shone with a gratitude that made Midoya smile and June cringe even more.

"Come here, let me help you," Midoya said, and started to gently wipe Janna's face. "Oh, you are so pale, you poor thing. You must have had such a fright being in the building when it went up in flames like that. But you are very lucky you got out unscathed, dear. How on earth did you accomplish that?"

"It was… a customer," Janna said, eyes closed as she let Midoya wipe her tears away. "He got me out somehow. I don't really… remember how he did it. I think he carried me most of the way up but I'm not really sure. There was just so much… so much fire… and…" She was starting to shake again, so Midoya made a shushing noise and urged her to lie back.

"So a customer got out," Midoya said instead, taking the compact and gently laying powder on the woman's face. "That is good. Do you remember what he looks like? There are many people who want to know if their family or friends survived. It would be nice to be able to tell someone something." Powder done, she pulled out the lipstick and dabbed a little onto the too-pale lips.

Janna's brow furrowed in thought. "He was very handsome," she said finally, rubbing her lips together when Midoya indicated she should. "I think he was maybe… in his early or mid-twenties. And he was very pale, with black hair and black eyes." A faint smile ghosted over her face, tinted with more than a little bit of genuine attraction. "I don't know what his occupation is but he talks like a teacher. Not… not like… Caitlyn's teacher, but maybe a college professor? " Another pause as she tried to reorganise her thoughts. "It was the way he spoke. Not that he sounded super educated like you, Miss Kito, but he spoke very fluently and very intelligently. Said something about the little mermaid and sex." She giggled and though there was still a note of hysteria in her voice, she sounded infinitely better. "Oh! I remember! He said his name is Kuroro."

Even though she expected it, Midoya could barely contain the grimace that threatened to form on her face. Behind her, she felt unease and shock course through Pepeka's Nen. "Kuroro, is it?" she commented neutrally, running the comb through the pink pixie-cut. "Where did he go after he saved you?"

"I don't know," Janna confessed. "I was… in shock… and I just couldn't stop staring at the… fire… and…" She stopped as if something had just struck her. "Oh, he gave me something to pass to you," she said, patting her sides. "It was a very tiny box… he said to give it to you, personally." Her mouth formed a tiny O of surprise when she realised that she was wearing a hospital gown and not her fairy costume. "I… where did it go to?" she asked, upset enough that tears were forming in her eyes again. "He was… he was really serious about it. Made me promise to pass it to you. It seemed important…"

Bran cleared his throat. "We found this on you," he said, leaning over and presenting a tiny velvet box to her. "Is this it?"

"Yes!" Janna exclaimed, looking relieved. "That's it!"

Before Bran could withdraw the box, Midoya took it out of his hand and he scowled at her. Ignoring him, she opened the box and peered in, steeling herself for another nasty surprise. This time, no alligator heads rushed out to meet her. Instead, inside the box laid a pair of earrings, beautiful, intricate earrings made of a dazzling mix of silver, diamonds and sapphires. Though the sapphires were just normal if expensive ones, to Midoya's eye, the earrings still looked like they were made to be worn with the Infinity Gem. Similar gems, similar designs. No coincidence there.

"Couldn't help wondering what that was about," Bran said coldly from behind her. "Who was he? Your jeweller? Boyfriend? Boy toy?"

Again, Midoya ignored him, choosing instead to close her eyes and think through the implications of this. Why had Kuroro given the earrings to her? Was he mocking her? It certainly felt like it. He had blown up an entire building of her people and then given her jewellery to match the thing that she had betrayed him to obtain. It felt like he was saying that the price of these earrings was the lives of six hundred people, that he felt she would find it an acceptable price. And the idea that this was what the earrings implied… hurt. That was unexpected; she hadn't felt anything like that in a while, not since Netero died at least. Now was really not a good time to discover she respected Kuroro enough to value his opinion of her.

Oh bull, June sneered. Both of them knew Midoya had more than enough respect for Kuroro to value his thoughts and opinions about everything, including her own self. It was near impossible not to care what he thought. That man practically oozed charisma. He had a gift for making people want to listen to him, to fulfil his demands and generally make him happy, that bastard.

"Miss Kito?" Janna peered at her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," Midoya replied, looking back down at the box. Something at the bottom caught her attention: a tiny white corner peeking out from beneath the black velvet. For a brief moment, she wondered how she could abstract it without letting the detective know. Well, if she couldn't do it behind his back, she might as well do it in front of him. Decision made, she turned to Bran and held out the box to him, palming the edge of the white slip between her thumb and pointer as she did. "Here's your evidence," she said dryly.

Scowling, Bran swiped it from her, separating the box from the white slip as he did. Fortunately, he didn't notice. Even better, he didn't say anything else. Midoya's mood was starting to take a turn for the worst, and she didn't think she was capable of dealing maturely with his taunts. In fact, she was more likely to do some rather violent and regrettable things to him that June Kito wouldn't do so openly. It was probably time to get out of here before Midoya's low impulse control made a mess of things in June's life.

"Janna dear, I need to leave now," she said, patting the girl on the shoulder. "But don't worry. My people are bringing Caitlyn over, and we can arrange for a nanny to take care of her if you need to be hospitalised for a longer period of time. In the meantime, don't worry about the hospital bills; I'll take care of it. If you need any help, contact Rose. You know who she is, don't you? Excellent. Rest well dear, and don't think too much about what had happened. Like I said, you survived, and that's all that matters."

"Thank you," Janna said, and tears filled her eyes.

With a last smile at the young woman, Midoya turned and strode out of the room, Pepeka and Sally falling behind her.

"Miss Kito?" Pepeka questioned tentatively, and she realised he must have seen her little trick, or at least suspected she had done something. Wordlessly, she passed him the slip. She had already read it and knew what it said: _10pm, Goddess Park, any day you wish_.

"This…" Pepeka started to say, but had the sense to stop before he said anything in front of Sally. "Sally, could you please excuse us?"

Sally blinked and looked at Midoya, who nodded. With curious glances at them, Sally tottered off to stand a distance away.

"Sensei," Pepeka said very softly. "Kuroro… this is… what do you plan to do?"

Midoya looked at him and wished she could send him off on the earliest flight she could find because she knew he wouldn't like what she was going to say. "I can't let this slide, Pepeka," she told him reluctantly. "Six hundred people are dead, Pepeka. Six hundred of my employees and clients. And there is no indication that this is the last bombing."

"So…"

"So I'm going to have to do something I should have done a long time ago. I'm going to hunt the Ryodan." Pepeka's jaw clenched. "I am going to hunt Kuroro Lucifer and I am going to… stop him."

For a moment, they were silent then Pepeka said with surprising quietness, "It's easier when you hate your enemies, right, sensei?"

"Yes," Midoya replied softly, staring into the distance and envisioning the violence that was to take place. "It's always a bonus."

* * *

A/N: I apologise deeply for the delay in uploading this chapter! I was overseas and did not realise I wouldn't be able to find a stable Internet connection so I had to wait till I got back to upload this.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story. Next week, the showdown between Kuroro and Midoya!

Trivial: The truth was that since he started his relationship with Midoya, Kuroro had become quite acclimatised to various types of bizarre costumes and fashions, so much so that he found it hard to be shocked by any amount of frills, faux leather and corsets anymore. Midoya was, after all, both very good with disguises and very creative in the bedroom. That combination had made for some rather shocking and sexually confusing experiences.

For instance, once Kuroro had walked out of the toilet to the sight of Midoya sprawled seductively over the orange couch dressed in a kinky-librarian outfit, complete with black-rimmed spectacles, a leather whip and _The Oxford Dictionary ed. Ten_, covering her breasts. Another time, Kuroro had woken up to Midoya skipping around the bedroom in full medieval armour, complete with a heavy lance and giant banner.

However, if pushed, Kuroro would admit that the most shocking thing he had ever seen Midoya wear was an outfit she had worn close to a year ago.

That night, Kuroro had returned late, having just robbed the York Shin National Bank for the tenth time that year. When he entered Midoya's penthouse, the first thing he noticed was that all her lights were out. The second thing he noticed was the scary old woman, with a heavily-wrinkled face, broken yellow teeth and a hooked nose with a huge wart at the tip swinging a massive, pink frilly umbrella at him.

The rest of the night saw a half-guilty Kuroro nursing a bruised and very hurt Midoya who refused to stop giving him the most devastating puppy eyes he had ever seen.

But really, in his defence, he hadn't recognised her in that outfit at all. It's not like he'd ever seen her dressed as an _umbrella_ before.


	5. The Showdown

**A/N:** The sequel to "A Series of Very Criminal Activities".

This is a very weird and… crazy story. It's not much of an action story (though of course with the Ryodan involved, you can't avoid all the violence and gore etc entirely). The Ryodan wouldn't appear much either, because it is a romance story and the Ryodan isn't very romantic in my opinion, so for those who wanted to see more of the Ryodan, I apologise.

And… I have nothing else to say but this: please forgive me, I knew not what I have done.

Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me.

* * *

The Showdown

Just about the time Midoya started to put her plans into motion, the Genei Ryodan had gathered around their Dancho to have a mini freak-out about the unexpected bombing of the _Spring Fleur_.

"_Someone else blew up the Spring Fleur before we did?"_ Shalnark asked, looking startled_. "Why would anyone do that?"_

"An excellent question," Kuroro commented and looked at the Ryodan members looking back at him curiously from his laptop screen. "Opinions?"

"_Well, Kito has a shit load of enemies from the mafia to the Zodiacs,"_ Machi pointed out_. "Any one of them could have taken a stab at her." _

"_Yes,"_ Shalnark argued, _"but why would they attack just as we are trying to get Kito back with Dancho? It seems like too much a coincidence to be true." _

"_True," _Machi conceded.

"_I know!"_ Shizuku's expression brightened with inspiration. _"Maybe someone is trying to sabotage Dancho's efforts to win Kito back!"_ she said reasonably.

Shalnark frowned. _"It is possible,"_ he said cautiously. _"But why would anyone do that?"_

"_Because they want Kito for themselves!"_ Nobunaga exclaimed, a look of horror on his face. _"They're trying to sabotage Dancho's efforts because they want Kito for themselves! It's a love triangle!" _He paused._ "At least that's what this book suggests,"_ he added tentatively, holding up the book in question_. "You know… every time a third party tries to steal the girl, they always try to sabotage the hero's efforts? I'm reading it on Dancho's recommendations, so I assume it is factual."_ He paused again. _"Some of the scenes are freaking embarrassing to read though. Why would anyone find piercings sexy?"_

"_It's… possible someone wants Kito for him or herself… I guess?"_ Shalnark, obviously out of his depth, looked to Kuroro for help. "_Dancho? What do you think?" _

Frowning in thought, Kuroro clasped his hands together and leaned his elbows against his knees. "Nobu's proposition is, in theory, possible," he said finally. "But we don't know for certain. What we can assume with some degree of reliability is that whoever did this is trying to use our mission as a diversion to hide his or her presence. By blowing up one of Midoya's brothels shortly after we do, the blame falls solely onto us."

"_What blame?"_ Shizuku asked curiously_. "Aren't the exploding buildings gifts to Kito? Why would she blame us for them? They're gifts! I like gifts, especially when they're shiny and the explosion was very shiny." _

"Yes," Kuroro agreed, "but in this case, the gift came with the death of all her employees and customers, except for the one I saved. Midoya wouldn't be happy. On the contrary, I believe she will be extremely unhappy with us, if she thinks we did it."

"_But she wouldn't think that,"_ Nobunaga said with great certainty_. "I mean, she knows you just want her back, right Dancho? So she knows you have no reason to kill her people. Kito is fucking smart that way."_

Kuroro rubbed his chin. "I suppose," he said doubtfully. "It is possible. Midoya does know me very well, as Franklin once mentioned. It is entirely possible she has reached the conclusion that I am not responsible for the second bombing. But then, I still have to wonder why she hasn't contacted me yet."

"_So what should we do?"_ Shalnark asked_. "Kito hasn't contacted us, and our plan to bomb the Spring Fleur was a flop. What now, Dancho?" _

What now indeed? Midoya wasn't responding to his advances and someone was trying to take advantage of their mission to attack Midoya. He could try bombing another building, but that would only play into the mysterious third party's plans. Perhaps it would be more prudent to go after this third party? It would not be impossible to find out how who he or she… or they were. Evidence would have been left behind in a mission this elaborate. If they could take a good look at the site, they should be able to draw some links, especially if Shalnark could find out who would stand to gain the most from the destruction of the _Spring Fleur_…

Suddenly, his phone buzzed, the ringtone echoing in the empty building. All eyes went to the phone then back to Kuroro.

"_Dancho…"_ Shalnark said with wary anticipation.

Nodding, Kuroro picked up the phone and checked the new message. The phone number was unknown and the message was very brief. _Tonight, Goddess Park, 10pm._ A smile spread over Kuroro's face and the Ryodan heaved a collective sigh of relief.

Finally, Midoya June Kito had contacted the Ryodan.

* * *

Midoya put the phone down and looked in the mirror. The person that stared back would be unrecognisable even to Kuroro. Maybe he wouldn't even know it was her until her blade was stuck through his heart – again – deliberately this time.

Good.

* * *

While in theory, Midoya finally contacting him was a step forward, Kuroro knew it was, in all probability, too early to celebrate.

"As we discussed earlier," he had pointed out to his Ryodan, "we still don't know whether Midoya knows we are not responsible for the second bombing. If she believes we are, she might attack us before I can explain the situation. She knows I am powerful so she will try to kill me with the first attack before I can respond. And even if she knows we are not responsible, her contacting me might not be a sign that she truly wants to reconcile with me. She might simply want us to work together to take out the third party, following which she will disappear again."

"_True,"_ Shalnark had conceded_, "so what should we do, Dancho?" _

Kuroro pressed his fingers to his lips in thought. "Be at the Goddess Park by 9pm," he had said finally. "I will appear to go there myself by 10pm. Once Midoya appears, kidnap her."

"_Kidnap her?"_ Nobunaga asked, startled.

"There are five of us and one of her, and we will have the element of surprise. It wouldn't be impossible to take her out before she realises what is happening."

"_But…"_ Nobunaga ventured_, "wouldn't she be uh… pissed with you?" _

"Why would she be? It's apparently not that controversial a move." Kuroro held up a book featuring two naked people twined together. "Apparently it is quite common for a man to court a woman by kidnaping her, forcing her to yield to his 'member' and then eventually somehow convincing her he is proper lover material. I have already seen this trope in multiple books. The train of logic, to be frank, is not something I quite understand, since the woman seems to move from crying and screaming, to passionate, undying love without any explanation whatsoever. However, I believe that once I have kidnapped Midoya, the natural progression of things will follow. I am not sure how to make Midoya cry and scream though; she is not the type to do that, as I am sure most of you know by now. And that reminds me; I meant to ask you to do this, but I kept forgetting. Shalnark, please find out what on earth a 'member' is. I assume it refers to one of my limbs, but I would like to know which one in particular. The slang in this book is not familiar to me, and I would prefer not to have Midoya yield to my leg when she's supposed to yield to my hand. I do not know what difference it might make, but let's not risk it."

"_Yes, Dancho,"_ Shalnark had said cheerily even as a weird look skittered over Machi's face, one that made her look like she was either going to laugh or pass out. Kuroro knew it must just be his eyes playing tricks on him though; Machi is not the type to laugh or pass out at all.

"Furthermore," Kuroro had gone on, tapping the book absently against his knee, "if we have Midoya under our power, she will not have the chance to run away before I can read her this love poem."

"_You wrote her a love poem?"_ Nobunaga asked, perking up.

"No, of course not." Kuroro gestured to his laptop. "Why should I when I have centuries of love poems to choose from, all readily available on the Net?"

"_Good point,"_ Shalnark had said admiringly. _"The Internet makes everything so easy." _

"Agreed." Kuroro had looked around at his Ryodan. "Well then, we only have a few hours before the rendezvous with Midoya. Let's get down to it."

Now, with ten o'clock fast approaching, Kuroro had set off from base with the intention of arriving ten minutes earlier. His current base was not too far from Goddess Park, and he was certain he could walk to the park quite easily, even if he would be chilled to the bones by the time he reached. Furthermore, the walk itself would be fairly pleasant. To reach Goddess Park at this time of the night, one would have to pass through a street market, with hawkers and traders selling goods at heavily discounted prices. Sometimes, if he was lucky, he would be able to find some rare item or two in these places at a fairly low price. Even if the prices weren't low enough for his liking, he could easily walk off with them given how crowded the street markets tend to be. Of course, he didn't necessarily have the time to actually search the market thoroughly today, but a quick look wouldn't hurt. He might even find a gift that Midoya would like, which might soothe the indignity of getting kidnapped.

So, with that happy thought in mind, Kuroro had set off with the intention of only browsing casually through the items on sale.

Five minutes into the market, Kuroro found himself in possession of someone's wallet, a tiny statue carved from a single piece of jade, a couple of gold bangles, an obscure painting by a famous artist and a rare specimen of ice salamanders which hissed at him when he dropped it into a glass jar. Briefly, he thought of feeling guilty about being distracted by all these treasures when he should be focused on the mission, but couldn't find it within his sinful, criminal soul to feel such a thing.

In fact, he had just spotted one more stall he wanted to visit: a book stall.

Slipping through the crowd, Kuroro made his way towards the stall, which mainly consisted of a blanket on which piles of books lay. The owner, a short, fat, obviously homeless man, was slumped over in an alcoholic daze, a bottle of cheap gin in one hand. His bare feet were splayed out, revealing painful sores on the soles of his feet. A heavy beard, stained with grime and pieces of food covered a pale face patched heavily with acne. The smell of many weeks spent unwashed reminded Kuroro of home. Offering a smile at the half-conscious man who stared back unseeingly with bleary eyes, he squatted down and ran a trained eye over the book titles. Many of them were fairly generic titles, second hand editions of popular titles, some old but commonly available classics… and a true gem.

Kuroro paused, glanced at the title then glanced at it again. Could it be…? His eyes flickered to the owner, but he was still laying half-conscious next to the stack of books. Carefully, Kuroro picked the book out from the pile and read the title again. _The Art of Art by Vivian Pretticura_. Despite his reputation as a cold-hearted, emotionless bastard, Kuroro felt his heart beat speed up.

Vivian Pretticura was, as history went, the wife of Neil Pretticura, a famous art critic and theorist. After a particularly nasty divorce, Vivian Pretticura had claimed that she was the one who had written all her ex-husband's books, and that in actual fact, Neil Pretticura knew nothing about art. She had claimed that a book she had published decades earlier, _The Art of Art_, was ample evidence of that, as it described in great detail the kind of theories that Neil Pretticura claimed were his. Unfortunately, no one had ever been able to find such a book, and Vivian Pretticura had passed away without ever being fully vindicated. However, ever since Neil Pretticura had, on his death bed, admitted that his ex-wife had been telling the truth, _The Art of Art_ had become the most sort-after book in the literature of art criticism.

Now here it was, in his hands, the rarest book in the modern history of art criticism. He had been searching for it for years, and to think he would find it in this tiny little street-side shop. Ah, real treasures can never be judged by the state of the chest it is contained in.

Heart still pounding, Kuroro turned the book around in his hands reverently. The spine and book cover were old, but in excellent condition. A picture of the brilliant Vivian Pretticura, a dark-haired woman with intelligent eyes and a contagious smile graced the front cover. With a pleased sigh, Kuroro gently flipped the cover over - and a dart shot out from the book, hitting him straight in the neck.

Kuroro blinked, his hand going instinctively to the thin needle, barely an inch long and thinner than a strand of hair, embedded in his flesh. Almost immediately, the world swirled around him in a kaleidoscope of muted colours and sounds. The needle came out in his hand, and he stared at the clear liquid dripping off it.

_Poison_, a calm voice in his mind whispered and Kuroro dropped the needle when his hand went numb. Then his legs joined his hand, and he pitched forward. A pair of warm arms smelling strongly of alcohol and perspiration caught him before he hit the ground, and he glanced up into the blurry features of the homeless man who had been manning the stall.

Familiar black eyes, cold and calculating, stared back at him.

Kuroro blinked again, slower this time, in dull recognition. "Nice," he managed to slur before he felt himself going limp in her arms.

Even as the darkness swallowed the messy world of the street market, the only thought on Kuroro's mind was that he hoped this kidnapping thing worked both ways. And hopefully, she would know what the hell a 'member' is…

* * *

Midoya was standing before him in a matching set of cute lingerie. Instead of the plain, cotton ones she normally wore or the sexy, satin kind she wore on special occasions, the set she was wearing now was white, frilly and had cartoon animals on it. It made her look innocent, young and adorable. That was how Kuroro knew this was a dream.

"You're a dream," he told her, just in case she hadn't realised it too.

"Yes, I know, based on what I'm wearing," she replied, turning slightly so he could see she was wearing a little puff of a bunny tail. "I am a figment of your rather vivid imagination."

"Ah. I see." Kuroro stared at the bunny tail. "The real you should dress like this more often," he commented wistfully.

"The real me would probably prefer to be taken seriously as a Hunter and business woman," dream-Midoya replied wryly.

"Good point," Kuroro agreed, tilting his head as he regarded dream-Midoya with great interest. "Just out of curiosity, why do you sound so much like the real Midoya if you're just a figment of my imagination?"

Dream-Midoya tilted her head back at him in an almost identical way. "Maybe because you know real-Midoya much better than you realise," she said helpfully.

"Ah." Kuroro eyed the bunny tail again. "My subconscious is trying to tell me something, isn't it?"

"Maybe," dream-Midoya said cheerfully. "But since it's the subconscious that's trying to communicate with you, you will probably never figure out what it is since it is impossible for the conscious mind to access the subconscious."

"Oh really? My guess would have been that it's trying to tell me I have a previously undiscovered fetish for animal costumes."

"Good guess, but is that really _the_ message or just another message hiding the real message?"

"Hmmm," Kuroro murmured. "That's not very helpful so I believe I shall wake up now."

"Good idea. The real-me is waiting for you," dream-Midoya said, and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "Good luck winning the real-me back."

"Thanks," Kuroro said and woke up.

He immediately wished he hadn't.

Patches of black and grey swam before his eyes like an oil spill, his stomach churned with nausea, his mouth tasted like three-week old garbage, and the old wound in his chest ached wearily. Kuroro groaned and tried to shift to a more comfortable position – and discovered that he couldn't move his arms or legs. For a moment, he briefly considered giving in to panic and flailing about, but decided that he felt too darn sick to devote energy to such a useless activity. Instead, he blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision. After several seconds of not succeeding, he realised that he was blindfolded. Again, he moved his arms, and this time realised through the feel of cold steel against his skin that his wrists and ankles were shackled. The feel of warm, sticky leather beneath his bare back and across his chest and torso told him he was shirtless and strapped to some kind of leather chair. Oh good, he was already starting to orientate himself.

A sound, the rustle of clothing, told him he wasn't alone. In fact, now that his senses were returning, he could sense several presences in… where was this anyway? Was he in a cell? The smell of lavender in the air and the feel of air-conditioning against his skin told him he wasn't – not unless cells have changed drastically since his days.

Kuroro coughed weakly and turned his head towards one particularly strong presence in the room. "… ya…?" he managed to mumble through numb, dry lips, and felt the presence turn its full attention onto him. It was like being put under a spotlight, one that blasted laser beams instead of light.

Abruptly, the blindfold vanished and Kuroro squeezed his eyes shut to avoid the horrible, glaring light in his face. Blinking tears away, Kuroro finally managed to open his eyes, and discovered that he was in a very pleasant, very expensive-looking office. The walls were painted a soft rose colour, the furniture was dark brown and solid-looking, and the air smelled like potpourri. Surrounding him were five mafia thugs with the usual thug uniform of black suits and shades. And right where he had sensed her, behind a heavy oak desk and a stack of papers, sat Midoya, looking very professional in a white suit.

The pleasure he felt at finally seeing her was immediately diminished when she looked up and stared at him with cold, cold eyes, which told her that wasn't Midoya he was looking at. "June Kito," he managed to say. "Hey."

She stared at him a while longer, her face entirely void of emotions. Then she nodded briskly. "Mr Lucifer," she said coolly. "A pleasure. You were out for quite a bit. I hope you are feeling better now."

"I feel like crap," Kuroro told her bluntly. "The trick with the book was a really nice one though. I didn't expect it at all." She didn't say anything to that so he added, "Not to sound rude, but I was hoping to meet someone else actually."

"Oh?" June Kito asked, looking entirely uninterested. "And who would that be?"

Kuroro swallowed painfully. His throat was absolutely parched. "Midoya," he said, and watched for a reaction. To June Kito's credit, she didn't flinch. She didn't even blink. She just stared at him with eyes like a snake's. "She's been missing for a while. I've been looking for her."

June Kito put her pen down and leaned back, making a steeple with her fingers as she regarded him. "Mr Lucifer, that is hardly my problem," she said, her voice edged with cold anger. "My problem is that you have blown up two of my brothels and caused the deaths of hundreds of my clients and employees."

Even though he had anticipated that, it still annoyed him that Midoya hadn't figured out he wasn't responsible for the second bombing. She was normally smarter than that. Surely she should realise that it would be counter-productive to his plans of re-seducing her if he killed her people? Kuroro briefly debated telling her that, but decided against it. Lecturing her would only make her angrier than she already was. "I was looking for Midoya," he said instead then coughed weakly again. His throat was so dry. "I need to tell her something," he managed to rasp out. "It's important."

Those cold black eyes regarded him curiously, as if he were an insect that was to be either squashed or kept as a pet. "And what would that be?" she asked, as if she couldn't care less.

Well, Kuroro mused, even if this was June Kito he was speaking to, she shared the same body with Midoya, did she not? June Kito _was_ Midoya after all, no matter how different the two personas were in terms of personalities, speech patterns and even appearances. Besides, there was no time like the present, with her attention fixed solely on him. So taking a deep breath, Kuroro, in his best reading voice, declared, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways./ I love thee to the depth and breadth and height/ My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight/ For the…" He broke off at the look of pure bemusement on June Kito's face.

"What are you doing?" she demanded bluntly. "What is this about?"

"No good? It's not doing anything for you?" Kuroro asked, surprised. "I thought that was an exemplary specimen of a love poem. At least the Literary Society of York Shin's Greatest Love Poems of All Times website told me that it was. No matter. I have another." He took another deep breath and exclaimed, "Surprised by joy—impatient as the Wind/ I turned to share the transport—O! with whom/…" Once again, Kuroro was forced to stop when June Kito got to her feet, leaned against her desk and stared at him with a look of grave intensity on her face. "No?" he asked, feeling hope fade. "That's the last of the poems I memorised. I haven't got anymore, unless you wish for me to improvise and come up with one on the spot. I doubt I will make a good poem though. You do know I am much better at robbing and murdering than poetry."

Instead of saying anything to him, she turned and regarded the mafia thugs standing around like mannequins. "Leave the room," she ordered.

"Are you sure, ma'am? He's still dangerous even the way he is now," one of them asked then cringed under the force of her glare. "Yes, Ma'am," he mumbled, as if she had scolded him, and the five of them filed out of the room.

The moment they were gone, June Kito came out from behind the desk and walked up to him. As she approached him, the cruel, cold look on her face gradually started to crack. By the time she reached his side, a look of concern that was entirely Midoya's had spread across her face, reanimating the stiff expression on her face. Very gently, she placed a cool palm against his forehead. "Do you still have a fever?" she asked softly. "Have you finished the antibiotics the doctors prescribed to you?"

"No to the first, yes to the second," Kuroro replied, smiling faintly as he watched Midoya resurface. "It's been a while, Midoya."

She stared down at him, not with June Kito's cold eyes, but with Midoya's intelligent, warm gaze. "It's been a while," she responded finally, and he thought he heard resignation in her voice. "Kuroro… what on earth do you think you're doing?" She took her palm off his forehead and started to pace in front of him. "Do you know how much trouble you have caused me? Do you know what horrible little dead end you have driven me into?" She stopped pacing and gave him a look that made her look both very dangerous and very vulnerable at the same time. "Kuroro, by attacking people other than myself, you have put me in a position where I must hunt you."

Kuroro, who had been watching her pace with great interest, met her eyes inquisitively. "Why?" he asked, surprised. "Why do you have to hunt me?"

Midoya threw up her hands and made an exasperated noise Kuroro had never heard her make before. "Kuroro, you blew up two of my brothels. Do you have any idea how weak that makes me look to the mafia community?" She frowned at him. "I'm so open to all my enemies now that I don't have a choice but to catch the people who have done this: you and your Ryodan. Besides, these are my people you hurt, Kuroro. Do not think that I am not angry with you for it." Shaking her head, she started to pace again. "Kuroro… listen." She stopped, looked at him then shook her head some more. "I know your Ryodan likes its revenge, and I cannot say I don't deserve it, but you really have to stop now. It's… kind of sweet when you attack me, but you can't hurt anymore of my employees. You are going to force me to have to hurt you more than I've already done so and believe me, no matter what you think of me now, I do not enjoy the idea of hurting you or your…"

"Revenge?" Kuroro cocked his head at her. "What revenge?" he asked with a frown.

"What revenge?" Midoya stared back at him. "What do you mean, 'what revenge'?"

"Hey, I asked first," Kuroro protested. "What is this 'revenge' you speak of? Are you taking revenge against me? No, that's not what your sentence implied. You implied that I'm taking revenge against… who? Has someone wronged me recently? Am I missing out on something? Shalnark has mentioned that I seem quite easily distracted lately."

For a moment, Midoya was eerily silent as she stared at him. Then very slowly, like a woman psyching herself to do something she found both tedious and trying, she asked, "Kuroro, why did you blow up my brothels?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Kuroro stared at her, puzzled. "I was trying to get your attention."

"My attention." The look on Midoya's face did not resemble in any way the ecstatic joy that his research had taught him to anticipate.

"You dumped me, didn't you?" Kuroro pointed out with impenetrable logic and indisputable reason. "Well, I decided that I am entirely against you dumping me, so I decided to reconcile with you. However, you refused to answer my calls, so I had no choice but to seek you out in other ways." He smiled sweetly at her. "Just so you know, I have decided to forgive you for betraying me, so there are no hard feelings on my side. Let's put the unpleasant business regarding the Infinity Gem behind us and get back together, shall we?"

Midoya had gone entirely still now. "You wanted to… get back together… with me. And you decided," she said slowly, her eyes closed, "that the best way to do that… is to blow up two of my brothels?"

"Yes," Kuroro said happily, glad that they were now on the same wavelength. "My research on the Internet indicated that to win back a woman, one should make the relationship hot and explosive. And since you weren't picking up my calls, I decided to kill two birds with one stone and blow up one of your brothels. Not only are explosives hot and, to be obvious, explosive, I felt it was the ideal way of getting your attention. You can't ignore me if I keep blowing up buildings in York Shin, right? I would like to point out, by the way, that though the Ryodan did assist me in planning the logistics of the attack, I _personally_ went down to each brothel to blow them up myself, just for you." He paused and regarded her face, but she still did not look particularly happy with his explanation. "My research indicates that you're supposed to be very touched now," he hinted helpfully.

Instead of bursting into grateful tears and showering him with passionate kisses like the female protagonist in the novel, Midoya's eyes remained close, her hands held up as if to fend off an attack. "Then… the music disc, the alligator, the earrings…"

"Gifts, from me to you," Kuroro said in what he hoped was a suitably tender voice. "Gifts are customary during courtship, are they not? Do you like them? I personally spent a lot of time browsing through jewellery shops before deciding to steal that particular pair of earrings. They suit your complexion perfectly."

"My… complexion. That's the reason you chose those earrings? Then the poems…"

"Love poems by two of the greatest poets that ever lived, Elizabeth Browning and William Wordsworth," Kuroro pointed out. "Not that I love you, of course, but Nobu insisted that love poems are essential when courting a woman."

"Browning and Wordsworth…" Midoya said faintly. "Love poems…"

"You didn't like them? I knew I shouldn't have listened to Nobu. I _did_ say you are more a prose person than a verse person, but he refused to listen. You know how stubborn he can get. Is it okay if I make it up to you by reading you passages from select novels instead? How about _Crime and Punishment_ or _Brave New World_? Ah, but I know you have read those multiple times. How about something from the Asiatic region? I know you don't read much of those, but I've recently quite taken to the works of Akutagawa Ryunosuke. They are wonderfully insightful into the foibles of humanity and the horrors an artist will resort to for his art." He took a deep breath. "Or if you must, I _can_ read something from that silly book about aliens that you like. I will not read the part where the man is impregnated by an alien monster, obviously a reimagined phallic mother, though. That is the foulest piece of writing I've ever read in my life and biologically inaccurate, I might add. It is impossible for a man to give birth to a life baby, alien or not. We just don't have the apparatus for it."

Instead of replying, Midoya turned around and, to Kuroro's surprise, _tottered_ to her seat where she sank into the chair and buried her face in her arms.

"Midoya?" he questioned cautiously. "Are you quite alright?" This was not the reaction he had expected at all. Perhaps he wasn't supposed to suggest reading at all. Hell, perhaps he wasn't supposed to give her jewellery or any other gifts at all. She wasn't responding the way his research said she would. In fact, by this point, he was starting to think that his research was a hell lot of rubbish.

"Poems…" she repeated, her voice muffled by her arms. "Gifts… explosions…" Then to Kuroro's uneasy surprise, she burst into uncontrollable laughter. "Oh Kuroro," she gasped, clutching her stomach. "Oh… _Kuroro_… oh you… oh…" Her head dropped back into her arms as she _shrieked_ with laughter.

"Yes?" Kuroro asked warily. "Are you okay? Why are you making that god-awful sound?"

"You are…" she broke off as she started to laugh some more. "You… oh… you…"

"You are laughing," Kuroro observed tentatively. "That means you like my gifts to you?"

"_Gifts_. Oh, you…" Midoya shook her head, wiping tears off her cheeks. "I see your train of logic. Yes, I see your train of logic perfectly, and I am still _confounded_ by it. Kuroro, whatever made you think I will be happy that you blew up two of my brothels?"

Kuroro blinked. "Well…" he ventured cautiously, "They are just buildings. You own over fifty of them. The destruction of one or two isn't that big a deal."

"Each of these brothels cost me at least twenty million zennis," she pointed out. "Kuroro, when you blew up my brothels, I thought you were taking revenge on me for the Infinity Gem episode."

Kuroro blinked some more. "How on earth did you reach that conclusion?" he asked, flabbergasted. "If I was taking revenge on you, I would have blown up your mansion or your penthouse, not your brothels. What kind of revenge is blowing up a brothel anyway, when you have, like I said, over fifty of them? And I know how much each building costs; it's barely a dent in your personal fortune. To take revenge against you through them is simply irrational. It's like trying to punish an elephant by hitting it with a feather." He drew in a deep breath and gave her a disapproving look. "I will never understand how you came up with such a ridiculous notion. You are normally smarter than that, my dear."

Midoya peered at him from between her arms with eyes wet with humour. "To my never ending horror, I actually see the logic behind that. My goodness, I actually… _get it_," she said, and a wry smile formed over her face. "Do you know that this is the first time I've ever initiated a break up? And to think I was fool enough to do this to the most obsessive, most possessive and most stubborn man I've ever met in my life."

"Ah, I am glad you see the error of your ways," Kuroro said, pleased. "So, we are reconciled? You are my Midoya again?"

"No," Midoya said firmly then laughed at the expression on his face. "Kuroro, you killed six hundred people…"

"That wasn't me," Kuroro protested impatiently. "I was still in the building when it blew up. I do not know who planted that bomb, but it wasn't me." Since it would only help his case, he lied, with great self-righteousness, "I didn't even have the intention of blowing up the _Spring Fleur_. I was just going to leave a gift there for you, the earrings you received from that little pixie with pink hair."

"Oh." Midoya tilted her head in thought then regarded him solemnly. "That still doesn't change anything."

"Why not?" Kuroro asked, annoyed. "I do not see why we cannot be together."

Midoya sighed wearily and leaned back into her chair. "Kuroro, do you know why I broke up with you?" she asked. When Kuroro shook his head, she continued, "It wasn't because I felt guilty about betraying you. On the contrary, it was because I was surprised by how easy it was for me to do so. My estate, my revenge against my long-dead father, my position as Blacklist Hunter Midoya… all of these, Kuroro, are more important to me than you are. And I knew that if I continued to stay with you, eventually, I will betray you again. It is inevitable, given your career choice. Hence, it did not seem fair to me to keep you in a relationship such as this, especially not…" she coughed awkwardly, "when I quite like you. Perhaps more than I should."

"Why?" Kuroro asked, brows knitted as he tried to figure out where she was going with this. "I do not understand why that is an obstacle to us continuing our relationship."

"You do not?" Midoya asked incredulously.

"I do not," Kuroro confirmed. "Why should the fact that I am not the top of your priorities keep us from being together? You are not exactly on the top of my list of priorities either. If it benefitted the Ryodan, I would backstab you at the drop of a pin too. You should know that; I've done it before when I first found out you are June Kito."

"Well…" Midoya's expression grew pensive. "Yes, that is true."

"Precisely," Kuroro said reasonably. "I've long known that my Ryodan and I can never take the first place in your heart. You told me as much when you decided against joining the Ryodan. And you have long known that my Ryodan is the most important thing in the world to me. If we both go in with that understanding, there is no reason why this relationship will not work."

For a moment, Midoya only stared at him, her lips parted with surprise. Then very slowly, as if in dawning recognition, she said, "You are right. You are absolutely right, Kuroro. It hadn't occurred to me to think of it that way."

Hah! He knew he should have gone the 'logical and rational route' in the first place. There's a reason why he is Dancho, not Nobunaga. "Of course I am right," he said shamelessly. "Besides, think of the many benefits to us continuing our relationship. For example, most of the time, it means that we are reliable, dependable, powerful allies to each other. And we get to have really good sex followed by excellent discussions on philosophy, sociology, literature and psychology, among other studies. I make an excellent steak, and I applaud your ability to buy over countries when you can't be bothered to obtain the proper visas every time you want to travel to them. I am sure you can think of many more examples that prove that there is much merit to us remaining together." He paused to let that sink in and added, "I propose a policy of honest lies. If we're going to be dishonest, at least be honest about it to each other. With that policy, I reiterate, there is no logical reason why we can't work out. Besides…" Now it was his turn to sound a little awkward, "I do like you a lot. It's fun killing people with you. Your technique creates the most beautiful arterial spray." Then hurriedly, he added, "So you see: no logical reason at all for us to not be together."

"No logical reason indeed," Midoya murmured, a smile ghosting across her face. She fell silent after that, her eyes distant with thought, and Kuroro was content to let her sort things out properly in her mind.

That was until the cold steel against his wrists reminded him of another nagging issue. "Midoya, may I ask you a question?"

She looked at him in surprise. "Of course," she said, tilting her head enquiringly at him.

"What exactly is a 'member'?" he asked. "I read about it during my research, where it stated that kidnaping a woman and forcing her to submit to my 'throbbing member' is an acceptable form of courtship. I would have tried it on you too, if I could only figure out what a 'member' is. The slang is unfamiliar to me, though I kept seeing it in my research, and Shalnark who was supposed to be looking it up for me never got back to me."

The look of pure astonishment on her face would be comical if he actually knew the reason for it. "Kuroro, have you been reading bad romance novels as _research_?" she demanded, sounding horrified.

"Why, yes, I suppose. The books were horrendously bad in terms of plot, writing, narrative, character development and every other aspect of literary writing, but I considered it necessary. You do realise I have no idea how to initiate a relationship with well… someone like you. Someone who grew up in normal society, not Meteor City. Come to think of it, I have never courted a woman in Meteor City before either. I wonder how that works." Kuroro stared at the look on her face. "What's wrong?"

"Oh… you…" Her lips twisted as if she were trying very hard not to laugh. "You've been reading the really bad kind of romances, the kind that is more fetishized pornography than romance, haven't you?"

Kuroro thought back to the book she had been reading. "There were a lot of naked people on the front covers, and a lot more sex with whipping and insertion of pointy steel objects than I am comfortable with," he recollected. "But you haven't answered my question. What exactly is a…" He trailed off as Midoya walked towards him again, this time with that _look_ in her eyes.

"What exactly is a 'member'?" she asked softly, straddling him. "You really want to know?"

Kuroro swallowed. His throat was still incredibly dry. "Yes, I suppose," he said faintly. "New knowledge is always good."

A smile, wicked and mischievous, curved Midoya's lips and she gently slid a hand between them. "This is your 'member', Kuroro," she murmured.

"Oh. Ah. I see." Kuroro blinked. "Suddenly a lot of things make sense. Like the throbbing bit. No, wait; that still doesn't make sense. Why is the penis always described as 'throbbing', 'pulsating' or 'purple'? Purple is not a good colour on a human being. It's the colour of bruises and decay after all so if that part of your body is purple, it's probably rotting, not functional, and thus incapable of sustaining an erection. I don't understand."

"Really?" Midoya murmured innocently. "Well, I guess it's up to me to help you." She leaned in and pressed her lips to his. "You're cold," she whispered. "Your lips are like ice."

"Umfhg," Kuroro replied eloquently, unable to speak properly when her lips were moving over his like that.

He could feel her smile as she hummed gently against his lips, her hands still moving alluringly over very sensitive parts of his anatomy. "You really want to know how this… 'yielding' works?" she asked, her breath hot against him.

Since his mouth was still busy sucking her lower lip, he simply nodded in reply. At that, she chuckled and started to undo his belt. She was a lot better at it than Hisoka too, but in Hisoka's defence, Midoya did have a lot more practice undoing the complicated buckles he liked so much. He tried to tell her as much, but then remembered that his belt was not the only thing that required unbuckling. "Release me," he breathed, as he slid his tongue into her mouth and tugged at his restraints at the same time. "Release me."

Midoya chuckled again. "Not yet, Kuroro," she replied, nipping his bottom lip. "That's not how the yielding works."

Ah, so the kidnaping thing did work both ways. It was always good to know. But Midoya didn't exactly have a 'member', did she? How was she supposed to force him to yield to her 'throbbing member' if she didn't have a… _Oh_. Kuroro's lips parted with pleasure. _Oh_. She hadn't done that in a while. Screw yielding to her non-existent 'member'. What she was doing now was perfectly fine with him.

A low sigh escaped his lips and he leaned his head back against the leather chair he was sitting in. Gazing at Midoya with half-lidded eyes, he saw that she was watching his face intently as she touched him. He smiled faintly at her and she smiled back. Her hands started to move faster and he groaned again as the world blurred before his eyes – probably because he was going cross-eyed. Ugh, he hated it when that happened. He just looked absolutely ridiculous with that expression on his face.

"Midoya," he murmured as another thought occurred to him. "Something you said reminded me of something I… Have I ever told you…?"

"Yes?"

"That I think Freud's use of the term 'phallic mother' to refer to the all-powerful female figure is a severe oversimplification of a child's relationship with its mother due to the assumption that mothers are seen by children in the same light as fathers and that feminine sexuality can't have a power of its own that is entirely divorced from masculine or phallic power."

"Oh," Midoya breathed and something hot blazed through her eyes as her pupils dilated – and then things got extremely confusing.

Later, when Kuroro tried to recall what had happened, the primary impression he got was that it had been… rough. Everything had been fast and hard, and he remembered struggling to breathe the entire time. In a good way, of course. Midoya did sex the same way she did everything else in her life: with finesse, grace and skill. Her lips, her fingers, her tongue… every inch of her body had been utilised in ways that Kuroro had never even thought were possible. At one point, she had even done something to him that Kuroro was pretty certain was illegal in all the nations in the Mitene Union. The bandit in him supported her tiny act of rebellion full-heartedly – as did every other part of his body, especially since what she did left him writhing against his restraints and gasping something about the _vagina dentata _and the _abject woman_. Then somehow, without stopping the deliciously decadent things she was doing to him, she had released him from his restraints and allowed him to flip over so he was on top of her. The end came quickly, he remembered, escalating furiously. He remembered hearing her breathing in his ear and her hands clutching his shoulders; remembered her whispering things against his neck as the pleasure build steadily within him.

The last thing he remembered was Midoya gasping, "_Adorno and art as an uncommitted crime_" in his ear before the world exploded around him.

* * *

His body ached from the exertion and his lungs were strained to their limits, but it was the aftershocks of pleasure shuddering through his body that left him sprawled limply over Midoya, stroking her hair as he tried to determine if any part of his body had dropped off during that rather strenuous session. Finally deciding that he was mostly still in one piece, he moved on to the third most urgent matter on his mind.

"Midoya," he murmured sleepily, burying his nose in her hair. "Your brothel is on fire." Another explosion shook the entire building, sending debris flying, and Kuroro sighed contentedly.

"Mmm, I know," Midoya replied, and though her voice was lazy with bliss, she sounded a lot more alert than he felt. Her eyes moved around, taking in the collapsing ceiling, the fallen walls and the fire raging around them. "One of yours?" she questioned and Kuroro shook his head. "One of the unknown party's then." She sighed softly and pushed gently against his shoulders. "Let me up."

His body protested that it much preferred to lie around in a boneless heap because his muscles were in a sex-induced narcotic haze, but he made it move. It probably wasn't a good idea to indulge in post-coital cuddling in a burning building anyway; too warm for that. "We should get dressed," he said, looking around sleepily. "Where did you put my clothes?"

"Here." She reappeared before him with his coat and shirt, miraculously already dressed. "We should hurry; this building will collapse in no time."

"Ah." Kuroro shook his head to clear it and pulled on his shirt. His fingers felt stiff from gripping her too hard during sex, so he flexed them to loosen them up. "Where are we anyway?"

"The _Velvet House_," she told him as she smoothed down the front of his shirt absently. "It's my biggest sex-trade related property."

"Oh." Kuroro slid his coat on. "You should evacuate the building in that case. You know, to avoid more deaths… unless that's what you want. I'm never too sure which types of death anger you and which types don't."

"I evacuated it the moment I brought you over." She smiled fondly at him. "I know how destructive the Ryodan tends to be, so I decided that if I was going to bring the infamous Dancho of the Ryodan here, some pre-emptive safety measures wouldn't be out of place."

"I feel so wronged and misunderstood. How come no one ever talks about how often the Ryodan does philanthropic work? They only ever talk about the times we massacre tribes or rob the Mafia." Kuroro sighed with mock sadness as Midoya's desk caught fire.

"Poor dear," Midoya said without a trace of sympathy as she headed for the door. "Let me check on my men. I have to wonder why no one has responded to the explosion."

"If they didn't come in to check on you, they are probably dead," Kuroro supplied helpfully then stared in surprise when the door opened and one of Midoya's men walked in.

Instead of displaying any sign of joy at seeing one of her men alive, Midoya leapt away from him, drawing out a short dagger as she did. Even though he didn't see immediately why she had reacted that way, Kuroro followed her lead, drawing his Benz knife and dropping to the floor. It was just as well he did, because the next moment, the man opened fire, peppering the air around them with bullets. Kuroro would wonder what was happening if he hadn't, in the next second, seen the pins sticking out of the man's blanked out, drooling face.

"Zoldyck," they said in unison, even as they took out the puppet through the tried and tested way of slicing off its head.

"Bugger," Midoya cursed.

"Bugger it is," Kuroro agreed fervently.

Midoya frowned as she flicked blood off her dagger. "Things just took a turn for the worst," she said, sheathing the dagger somewhere up her sleeve. "We should hurry." She had already said it before, but she hadn't sounded this urgent the last time. Obviously in Midoya's universe, Zoldycks trumped burning buildings. Having been on the receiving end of a Zoldyck assassination before, Kuroro couldn't help but see why.

"Agreed," Kuroro said with great understanding, and they turned to the door again.

With a suddenness that neither of them expected, the door exploded inwards and the rest of Midoya's men leapt in, eyes rolling sightlessly as they leapt at the pair. Midoya reacted immediately, kicking one of the puppets aside and punching the other into a wall. The other two puppets who had gone for Kuroro found themselves lying on the ground, foaming at the mouths as their bodies were paralysed by his Benz knife.

"This would be Illumi's work," Kuroro commented. "That's odd; my impression was that he was never one to beat around the bush. Why is he sending these puppets after us when he knows we can't be beaten by them?"

He got his answer immediately when there was a sudden surge of powerful, _powerful_ Nen above them. As they gaped at the ceiling, feeling the Nen rush at them, Kuroro realised with a start that the puppets hadn't been there to fight them; the puppets had been there to delay them from _leaving the room_.

"Get down!" Midoya shouted, grabbing his arm and dragging him to the ground. The next moment, a whole swarm of dragons descended through the ceiling, ripping through the already collapsing room and slamming into their bodies.

It was impossible to defend against, even with his defences pushed to maximum capacity. Bone splintered, cracking then crunching under the blast. Flesh tore, spilling blood into the fire. His Nen broke, shattering into tiny sparkles of light before fading. There was nothing he could do but cling to the floor and will himself to not die.

Then it was over.

Spitting out blood and teeth fragments, Kuroro lifted his head and tried to look around through the smoke. "Midoya?" he choked.

"Here," she replied in a faint whisper, and he found her lying next to him.

The smoke hindered most visibility, but he was right next to her so he could see her bone sticking out of her flesh and the blood running out of her ears. "… alright?" he whispered, feeling his own ribs creak.

She nodded and blood poured out of her nose. "It's the old man," she whispered. "Two of them."

Kuroro nodded and spat out more blood. "Stand up," he suggested.

"Good idea."

Somehow, they managed to get to their feet and stay on. "How bad are your injuries?" Kuroro asked in a clear voice, having gotten over the initial shock of pain that had floored him. He started to make a checklist of his wounds then discarded it once he realised there were too many to take note of. "Worst for me are the broken ribs."

"Same," Midoya agreed, though to Kuroro's eyes, her injuries seemed worse than his. At least he didn't have bones sticking out of his flesh. It was quite the ego-boost to know his Nen defences were stronger than hers. "Broken fingers on my left hand too." She sucked in a wet breath. "Still can fight." A shiver ran through her body as she shook off the pain, forcing it to the back of her mind the way only seasoned fighters can.

Kuroro nodded and glanced at the door. "What are the chances we can make it there before something else attacks us again?" he asked.

"Nil, they are trying to trap us in here," Midoya replied immediately.

As if to confirm her evaluation, powerful Nen swelled up below and above them. For a moment, Kuroro thought more dragons were going to descend from the ceiling, but he realised quickly that wasn't what he was feeling. It was too steady and too slow to be an attack. "They are coming," he said quietly. "And they aren't afraid to announce it."

"Zoldycks are polite that way," Midoya muttered, her eyes darting upwards then downwards. "The younger one is coming up from below, and the older is coming from above. We'll have a better chance taking the younger one, but not by much with the injuries we have. The Zoldycks are true powerhouses even in the world of elite Hunters and assassins. Any good suggestions?"

The last time he had fought the Zoldycks, he did so only because he had the assurance that if he could survive till Illumi killed the Godfathers, he would be able to escape relatively unscathed. He didn't have that now. It wasn't impossible to fight the assassins, especially with Midoya by his side, but there wasn't any point to it. Why risk their lives to kill people who were essentially pawns in this game? Very powerful pawns, yes, but pawns nonetheless. Killing the Zoldycks wouldn't change anything; other assassins would still come after them. What they needed to do was find the mastermind behind the Zoldycks. But before that… "Run?" Kuroro suggested.

"_Zetsu_ and run," she decided. "Use the smoke and my photographic memory of the layout of this brothel to sneak around them and escape."

"Have I ever told you how sexy a woman with a photographic memory is?"

"Ah, still willing to flatter me even after I've surrendered and yielded to your 'throbbing member'? That's how I know you're a keeper, Kuroro."

"Why thank you, though I have to admit I didn't really think you _yielded_ to any part of me. I was the one strapped to the chair after all."

"Oh, you are too modest. I assure you that your 'member' was extremely compelling and persuasive."

Walking with just the slightest hint of unsteadiness, Midoya approached the leather chair he had been sitting on earlier and pulled a strap of leather off. "Put this around your wrist," she said as she hooked the other end around hers. "Once we get out of this room and go into _Zetsu_, it will be too easy for us to lose each other in the fire and smoke. This is to make sure we don't get separated."

"I hear Hisoka's voice making a comment about red threads and fate in my head," Kuroro told her as he looped the strap around his wrist and secured it.

"I feel sorry for anyone who has to live with Hisoka's voice in their heads." Midoya checked the strap one more time before nodding with satisfaction. "Shall we, my dear?"

"Let's," Kuroro replied, sensing the powerful auras converging on them.

With one last smile at him, Midoya slipped into _Zetsu_ and he followed suit. Immediately, he felt the two powerful auras pause and stretch towards them, seeking them out. He wasn't sure they failed to locate them either, though in his opinion, Midoya's _Zetsu_ was one of the most complete ones he had ever seen. Silently, Midoya tugged on his strap, indicating he should follow her. Kuroro nodded to acknowledge her, but he didn't think she saw. The smoke was starting to form a solid wall between them, and without the strap, he wouldn't even have known Midoya was there.

Trusting her to know what she was doing, Kuroro followed her through the acrid smoke towards the door. They moved quickly, exiting the door and padding through the lobby. He felt Midoya pause there briefly and he knew why. The Nen from both directions were approaching rapidly now.

Then the Nen on top swelled even more. _En_, Kuroro realised, the same trick they tried when the Ryodan had attacked the auctions. The old man was going to try to force them to go down where Illumi was waiting for them.

Gently, Kuroro tugged on the strap. "They're coming," he said into the smoke, unsure if she could hear him. "Midoya?"

The strap jerked once in his hand and he felt her change direction. Instead of heading for the stairs, she started to lead him horizontally across the floor, turning at an angle that seemed to lead them away from the stairs or the elevator. Blindly, Kuroro followed her. With visibility being as low as it is, he could only be glad that Midoya's office buildings were infinitely cleaner and neater than her personal lodgings. It would be embarrassing if he accidentally gave away their position because he happened to trip over a book or a potted plant.

The Nen below them vanished. It seemed that Illumi was now emulating them. The thought was chilling in its implications; the assassin could be standing right behind them and they wouldn't know it. Of course, it was also entirely possible that even if Illumi was behind them, he wouldn't know that they were there either, not unless he used _Gyo, _and doing that would only give away his position since he needed to release _Zetsu_ to properly use _Gyo_. Perhaps, it was more accurate to think of their current status as a stalemate then, Kuroro thought hopefully.

Unexpectedly, he walked into Midoya who had stopped moving. He instinctively put his arm around her to steady the two of them, and felt her blood leak over his hands. "Midoya?" he questioned, feeling her arms moving about.

"Got it," he heard her grunt. There was a click and the neon-dulled night sky of York Shin opened before him.

"A window," Kuroro observed once he was done admiring the clouded night sky and the fresh air that came with it. "I can't believe I'm saying this after days of freezing in this blasted winter, but the cold actually feels rather pleasant. Interesting how context alters the perspective." He glanced at Midoya. "I assume we aren't standing here just so we can enjoy the night breeze. Is this our point of extraction?"

"We'll be vulnerable and exposed," Midoya explained with a careless shrug, "but we can get down a lot faster, we'll have a clear view of any incoming attacks, and hopefully they wouldn't figure it out till we are far, _far_ away."

"Shall I teleport us?" Kuroro eyed the fall calculatingly. "My teleportation skill only covers a certain distance though. Fifty storeys are much too high. Perhaps in sections…"

"Forget it," Midoya decided. "If you use your Nen, they will be able to sense us. I'm hoping we could make it at least half-way down without them noticing. Besides, there's no point draining your Nen now when we'll need it later."

"Excellent point," Kuroro glanced behind him, but saw only an opaque, black wall of smoke. How charmingly ominous.

While he was admiring the cloud of smoke behind him, Midoya had already climbed onto the ledge of the window, her legs dangling dangerously off the side. Quite disturbingly, she resembled a little girl sitting idly on a swing at the playground while she waited for her friends to join her. "The sides of this building are glass," Midoya said. "But there are concrete ledges in between. They don't provide much handhold though. We're going to have to slide against the glass walls and hope those same ledges don't bruise us too badly. Given that we are over fifty storeys up, it will be very slippery and very dangerous."

"Like sex with you," Kuroro commented complimentarily.

"I like to think sex with me does not potentially result in a cracked skull." Midoya glanced back at him then at the smoke behind them, her eyes sharp and alert. "The younger one is near." Kuroro had no idea how she knew, but he felt it was better to err on the side of caution and believe her.

"Then let's go." Kuroro joined her on the ledge. "The walls are inclined slightly, not as much as I would have liked. We can try sliding down, breaking our fall every ten feet or so with those concrete ledges you mentioned. That should allow us to survive the slide down."

Midoya nodded and undid the strap that joined them together so if one of them fell, the other wouldn't be dragged down as well. "Ready, my dear?"

"More than I will ever be."

"Then I shall meet you on the ground." Her eyes met his, glowing in the night sky. Despite her injuries, her face was alight with excitement. "Toodles," she beamed cheerfully then dropped off the ledge.

"Bye," Kuroro replied to empty air and joined her.

One thing he will say about Midoya's property: despite her natural tendency towards messiness and disorganisation, she definitely didn't scrimp when it came to spending on cleanliness. As Kuroro slid down the sides of the building, the world rushing past him in a disorientating blur of colours, and the ground approaching at an alarming rate, all he could think of was how smooth and polished the glass felt, and how it actually smelt like _detergent_.

Very commendable, Kuroro thought, as he stopped himself on one of the concrete ledges Midoya had mentioned, jarring his bruised arms painfully as he did. Perhaps two storeys down, Midoya had also stopped on a ledge, pausing there for a breather.

She glanced up, one eyebrow raised in silent question. _Are you okay_? He nodded back. She smiled up at him and let go of her ledge, starting to plummet down again. Kuroro joined her, and the world rushed past him again in a blur.

The closer they got to the ground, the fainter the scent of detergent was, and the stronger the smells of the city were. The odour of petrol fumes filled his nose, mixed with the strangely clean scent of a winter's night. When he finally jarred to another stop, maybe thirty storeys up, he could hear the noises of the city, the endless honking of traffic and chatter of voices, and in the distance, the sound of sirens fighting through York Shin's impenetrable traffic to reach the _Velvet House_.

Glancing down, he saw Midoya hanging to a ledge, breathing hard. He tapped his foot gently against the glass beneath him, drawing her attention so he could communicate with her.

She looked up, a smile forming on her face – one which quickly morphed into a look of alarm. "Watch out!" she shouted.

Kuroro's head snapped up, just in time to see a pin go through his hand. The pain jolted his grip on the ledge and he let go involuntarily. Even as he fell, he spotted the slender, graceful figure of Illumi descending towards him, running down the sides of the building, his long hair spread out like dark wings behind him. Kuroro frowned disgruntledly. What a show off.

Then more pain jolted through his body when Midoya grabbed hold of him, specifically the hand that had a pin in it. She grunted with effort as his weight jerked her violently, jarring the broken bones in her torso.

"He's coming," Kuroro, who was still watching the descending figure, warned. "And he's fast."

"When are they never?" Midoya muttered and let go of the ledge, allowing gravity do its job. She kept her grip on him as they fell. "Kuroro! We're not making any more stops! It'll only slow us down!" she shouted, as they plummeted down the building. "When we're near enough, teleport us directly to the ground to break our fall!"

Kuroro nodded and didn't mention that reaching the ground wasn't enough to shake Illumi off. It wasn't like Midoya didn't already know that. She probably figured, like he had, that being on the ground would give them a more level playing field. It _was_ two of them against one of him – for a short period of time at least, until the old Zoldyck reached the ground, if he hasn't already done so. If he thought they could defeat Illumi within thirty seconds, he would have suggested they fight the Zoldyck head-on. As things stood, that wasn't likely to happen, so their best bet was really to just run while they still could.

The wound in his hand burned with agony suddenly and Kuroro glanced at it. The flesh around the pin was starting to morph, twisting and turning as his entire palm collapsed inwards. Quickly and more roughly than he would have preferred, Kuroro ripped the pin out of his hand, tearing flesh as he did. Blood poured out and Kuroro gritted his teeth in pain, but at least his hand looked normal now. It was even functional – somewhat.

"Kuroro!" Midoya barked in warning. He would have glanced up, but Kuroro could feel the projectiles coming his way this time. His eyes met Midoya's. She nodded and a fierce smile spread over her face. An answering smile appeared on his face and he tightened his grip on her hand, pulling her towards him. Immediately, Midoya curled into him, tucking her head under his chin as Kuroro wrapped his arms around her and pressed the soles of his boots into the building. Bunching his legs up, he kicked off from the building, shattering glass and propelling them out of the path of the pins. As he did, Midoya, who was facing up, drew a few of those throwing knives she was so good with, injected Nen into them, and flung them at the descending assassin with astonishing strength.

It would have been nice if he could see if she had found her mark, but the ground below was rushing at them with alarming speed. So, he pulled out his book instead and flipped to the correct page. There was a _whoosh_ and then they were standing on the ground, still holding each other.

Midoya's eyes, filled with excitement, locked onto his and she gasped, "Run."

Well, he didn't need to be told twice. Just as the dark energy that was the assassin touched the ground, they took off, bounding towards the main road where a crowd had already gathered. Since a lot of gaping, pointing people were in the way, Kuroro leapt up the wall of a building and started to run. Midoya joined him with a quick glance behind.

"He's not following us," she reported. "Either he's not keen to assassinate us in public or…"

"He has more companions waiting ahead," Kuroro finished. Nimbly, he leapt back onto the road now that the crowd was an entire block behind them and darted down one of the quieter alleys. "Stay alert."

"Right back at you," Midoya replied cheerfully, bouncing along at his side.

And because she was at his side, Kuroro saw when the bullet hit her temple and she collapsed to the ground, blood pooling around her.

* * *

A/N: Well… when I said 'showdown' between Kuroro and Midoya, I really meant 'Kuroro and Midoya having sex, which is pretty much the same thing anyway. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, dear reader! Do look forward to the Zoldycks, evil masterminds and other scary things next week!

Trivial: Normally, if Midoya needed to disguise herself, she was perfectly capable of doing so herself. After all, all she needed was an extensive makeup collection and substantial wardrobe, and she could pass off as anything from a powerful religious leader on tour to an ageing prostitute deranged by syphilis wandering the streets aimlessly. However, occasionally, Midoya would find the need for quite an extensive costume that she couldn't just whip up on the spot. It was during those times that she turned to her friend and costumer, Chan Ruai.

Chan Ruai, was a very-talented seamstress and fashion designer who had come to York Shin in the seventies at the height of York Shin fashion. Within a very short period of time, she had made a name for herself as _the_ woman to go to if you wanted to look beautiful, rich and trendy. Her designs were always elegant, classy and so _in_, and that made her the favourite amongst the rich, the noble and the famous. She was also well-known for being patient, generous and very friendly - which is why Midoya could never understand why Ruai always bolts the door when she hears that Midoya is coming. It wasn't even the friendly kind of bolt too, which is just one lock across the door that most Hunters saw as a 'heya, motherfucker, come right in and get a drink; just break the fucking door down because I'm too lazy to get up and unlock it for you'; it was the heavy-duty, quadruple lock with fingerprint scanners kind of bolt, that said 'don't come in, now or ever'. That always hurt. It wasn't like Midoya had ever been rude to Ruai or offended her in any way. All she ever asked of Ruai was for her to make some costumes such as 'Cannibalistic Male Janitor', 'Visiting Dignity from an Exotic Country with a Penchant for Wearing Dead Baby Skeletons Around Her Neck', or 'Dead Amazonian Woman With a Pike Sticking Through Her Stomach'. But all Ruai ever did was try to turn her back.

"No more body parts in costume! No more rotten fruit in clothes!" she would shout from behind the reinforced bars of her apartment. "No more! Go away! Don't blow up my door again! I just rebuilt… argh! _Fuck _you! My new door!"

"But it's not like I can sew my own beard with rotten food in it," Midoya would reply mournfully, hiding the detonator behind her back and giving the elderly woman her most innocent look, even as the dust settled around her.

Hence, when Midoya next turned up at Ruai's place with a request for an animal-themed lingerie set, the designer heaved a sigh of relief. Finally, an outfit that didn't contain _biodegradable_ material in it (what horrors)! Finally something that was relatively normal, maybe even cute and fashionable! It was definitely something she could see going down the runways since animal prints were _so in_ right now.

In fact, so relieved was she that Ruai actually asked, "So, what's this for? A costume party?"

"No, for my lover," Midoya replied immediately. "He recently discovered in a dream that he has a fetish for animal costumes. I personally think he is discovering his latent tendency towards bestiality, specifically rabbits, or possibly a furry fetish. I can't decide which is more disturbing. Have you ever had sex with a man dressed as a plushie before? I wonder how the ah… anatomy of it works since he would be wearing what is essentially a mascot suit after all. Well, no matter, we'll probably find out soon since we're going to be experimenting with it the next time we meet. I'll make sure to wear the set you're making for me. I'll even take pictures and send them to you since I know you like seeing your finished products being worn. Doesn't that make you happy?"

That night, as Chan Ruai sat at her precious sewing machine, stitching a bunny tail to a pair of cute, frilly underwear, she couldn't help weeping as she whispered, _"No more. No more. No more."_


	6. Love Your Enemy, Or Just Kill Him

**A/N:** The sequel to "A Series of Very Criminal Activities".

This is a very weird and… crazy story. It's not much of an action story (though of course with the Ryodan involved, you can't avoid all the violence and gore etc entirely). The Ryodan wouldn't appear much either, because it is a romance story and the Ryodan isn't very romantic in my opinion, so for those who wanted to see more of the Ryodan, I apologise.

And… I have nothing else to say but this: please forgive me, I knew not what I have done.

Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me.

* * *

Love Your Enemy, Or Just Kill Him

In the narrow prison of the alleyway, the gunshot rang out like the death toll from a bell.

The night held its breath and Kuroro joined it – but not for long, because he was too winded from jumping off a fifty storey brothel to hold his breath for any length of time. Midoya remained sprawled on the ground where she had fallen, her body as still as death. A puddle of blood was spreading rapidly beneath her and threatening to run over Kuroro's shoes. Kuroro eyed her prone body then the figure approaching them with equal measures of disapproval.

"You shot her," Kuroro said to the figure detaching itself from the shadows of the alley.

"Can't think of a better use for a bullet," the figure replied, emerging into the light to reveal a tall, muscular man holding a smoking gun. A literal one, just like in all those noir detective stories that Midoya had gotten him hooked on. The bookworm in Kuroro couldn't help smiling at it. "You one of her thugs?"

Kuroro tilted his head curiously at the newcomer. "No," he replied honestly. "I'm not a thug. I'm more of a strategist than cannon fodder. Who are you?"

"None of your fucking business," the man replied. Just for a brief second, his eyes flickered towards Midoya's prone body and a satisfied smile spread over a ruggedly handsome face. "Finally got the bitch. Fucking whore-master of York Shin."

Well, that was quite the insult. Since he was now Midoya's again, Kuroro felt that it would not be unreasonable to feel offended on her behalf. Or at least he would if he actually knew how to go about feeling offended properly. He wished he had someone to tell him how, but since he didn't, he decided to go with what sounded right to him. "That's not quite fair," he said mildly. "Midoya owns a lot of brothels yes, but she doesn't own all the commercial sex workers in York Shin. In fact, some might even argue she doesn't even own half the…"

"Shut up!" the man snapped, gun pointed straight at him. Then he a look of dread spread over his face. "What?" he asked roughly. "What did you call her?"

Oops. Slip of tongue. But since the cat was out of the bag, so to speak… "I called her 'Midoya'," Kuroro informed him. "She's my… well… the conventional term is 'girlfriend', but really, I personally believe she is nothing like the conventional idea of 'girlfriend' at all. On the contrary, I feel that…"

"I said shut the fuck up!" the man shouted, a look of panic on his face. Eyes still trained on Kuroro, he edged towards Midoya and flipped her lifeless body over. "That's June Kito," he said, looking relieved. "Why the fuck did you call her 'Midoya'?"

"It's a long story," Kuroro replied with a shrug. "Suffice to say that there are many aspects to a character such as Midoya. Or June Kito, if you wish, though they are not exactly mutually exchangeable. Personally, I like Midoya a lot more than June Kito. She has a much better sense of humour and the knowledge of Nen, making her a much better fighter than June, who, as I understand, does not know any form of martial arts at all. _And_ Midoya is much more polite, tolerant and affectionate towards me than June. Every time I meet June, she tries to kill me. It's most unpleasant indeed. On the contrary, every time I meet Midoya, we end up having sex, which is definitely more to my liking. She is very good at it, you know."

"What the fuck?" the man demanded. "What are you talking…?" His voice died off in a whimper of terror when Midoya sighed wearily and sat up. "Fuck!" he cursed and his finger squeezed the trigger of the gun reflexively.

"Ow," Kuroro complained when the bullet bounced off his already overly-abused chest.

The man's eyes widened until Kuroro could see the whites of his eyes clearly. "What the fuck?" he demanded shakily. "What is going on? Are you wearing Kevlar?"

Ignoring him, Kuroro glanced at Midoya and asked, "Are you okay? You were down for quite a bit."

Midoya stretched and yawned. "I was going to pretend I was dead since that's what people expect when they shoot other people," she said, a tiny red patch that would become a bruise forming where the bullet had bounced off her Nen defences. "But I haven't been off my feet in a long time so I decided to just lie for a while. On that note, dear, it's not nice to reveal my secrets just because I happen to be napping. I shall forgive you since you look absolutely terrible at the moment." Gracefully, she got back to her feet and turned her gaze on the shaking man. "Detective Bran," she greeted politely. "Good to see you again, dear. Ah, but I don't believe you've officially met me before. Or rather, you have met me in the capacity of June Kito before, but not as Midoya. So, to make an official introduction - I am Two Star Blacklist Hunter Midoya. Pleased to meet you."

"Blacklist Hunter?" the man demanded, backing away from them, his eyes darting back and forth frantically. "What the fuck? You… the bullet… it… I shot you! I shot you in the _head_!"

Midoya smiled pleasantly. "Well yes, I felt the bullet hit me," she said, rubbing the red patch on her temple. "That's quite a shot, I must say. It took me entirely by surprise, which is not an easy thing to do. On that note, I do have to ask, why _did_ you shoot me? My impression, or rather, June's impression of you is that you are a very sexist, rude and annoying, but mostly upright police officer. Shooting an innocent woman doesn't seem quite your… how shall we put it… 'style'."

The gun stopped shaking as the man glared at her furiously. "Innocent? You? You think I don't know? You think I don't know what kind of shit goes down behind the scenes in York Shin?" he snarled. "The commissioner told me all about it! How you've been buying politicians, how you've been threatening him and his family, all so you can ruin this city with your fucking whores! People like you will never be judged before the legal court!"

"So you decided to kill her?" Kuroro had to fight the smile that threatened to form across his face. "His innocence is remarkable, even more so than Pepeka's," he commented to Midoya. "I cannot believe he thinks killing you will get rid of all the crime in this city. Even if he had succeeded, another person, equally as bad as you, or worse, will just take over. Even a child can see that. Given that you are not an entirely unreasonable person to begin with, the logical thing for someone like him to do is to make do with the evil that one knows rather than risk the evil that one cannot control, is that not right? What a silly man!"

"Why, thank you dear, for the lovely compliments. I do believe I can quite forgive you for revealing my secrets with that," Midoya replied, beaming. "But let's backtrack a bit here. The _Commissioner_ told you I threatened him and his family? Well, that is technically true, though I don't like to think that I _threatened _him. All I did was mention that I have pictures of him having sex with a transvestite dominatrix – period. I never told him he had to do anything to keep me from revealing them. He decided on that himself, as all people with guilty consciences tend to do." She giggled like a teenage girl hearing a dirty joke. "The pictures scandalised even me, Kuroro. You with your innocent, untainted eyes will bleed if you ever see it."

"God forbid I ever do then," Kuroro replied drolly. "I quite like my eyes the way they are now."

"But it is interesting that the Commissioner has been misleading dear Detective Bran here," Midoya added. Turning to the increasingly maniac-looking man, she gently asked, "Dear Detective, did the Commissioner hire the Zoldycks to kill me?"

The man did not say anything. He didn't need to. His expression, one of fear, rage, denial and nagging guilt, gave it away.

"And we've found our third party," Midoya murmured, looking pleased. "Now then, Kuroro, we know what to do."

"Kill the Commissioner and the Zoldycks will cease to come after us," Kuroro answered immediately. "Experience dictates that they wouldn't have a reason to kill us if the client isn't there to pay them. It will be faster and much easier to kill this Commissioner than to fight the Zoldycks anyway. That is assuming that the Commissioner is a normal civilian with no knowledge of Nen."

"Ah, still the same brilliant tactician I know," Midoya said affectionately, giving him a kiss on the cheek that left her blood dripping down the side of his face. "Will you assist me in getting rid of this horrible man who wants to kill me, my deviously intelligent Kuroro?"

"Considering the fact that he messed up my detailed and meticulous plans to seduce you, I would say yes." Kuroro rubbed his bleeding chin thoughtfully. "Actually, I wouldn't say 'yes'. I would say 'Even if you don't allow me to help you, I will follow you nonetheless, and get my expertly murderous hands on this offensively stupid man who has messed up my plans and make him regret the day he got caught on camera having sex with a transvestite dominatrix'."

"My hero," Midoya teased good-naturedly. "Though I have to tell you, I'm entirely unsure if the act caught on camera can be considered 'sex'. It was rather… ah… slimier than that." The kiss this time was on his lips. It was warm, sensual, and bloody, and he could feel her excitement as she licked his torn lips. "Shall we?" she murmured.

"Mmm. Alright." As they parted from the kiss, something thudded against his chest again, and Kuroro glanced down, just in time to see a bullet bounce off his torso. More gunshots resounded down the alley and Midoya winced as well.

"That's not going to kill us, you know?" Midoya said helpfully, but the detective didn't seem to have heard her. His eyes were so wide they were more white than brown.

"Monsters," he hissed. "Demons."

"Oh," Midoya murmured disappointedly, and Kuroro shook his head with a sigh.

"I've heard that more often than I care to remember," he said disapprovingly. "Can't people think of more creative ways to describe us? I am rather sick of this whole human-monster or angel-demon dialectic. Why does the entire world only think in binaries when there are so many wonderful shades of grey in-between?"

"It is rather clichéd, I must admit," Midoya agreed. "You can't blame the poor man though; this _is_ his first time meeting Nen-users openly being Nen-users."

"True," Kuroro said then another thought struck him, "But, even if I can't blame his clichéd use of inaccurate terms to describe us, you can blame him for the destruction of the _Spring Fleur_ and the _Velvet House_."

Midoya eyed him curiously with her one good eye. "Can I?" she asked. "He definitely knew about them, but it seems to me that the Commissioner tricked him into this mess. That makes me a little reluctant to do horrible things to him even if he does irritate me immensely." So the detective irritated Midoya. Kuroro hadn't even realised. Good to know that just because Midoya was acting friendly didn't mean she liked you.

"Yes, but his refusal to warn you of the bombings resulted in the death of your employees and customers, no?" Kuroro pointed out. "_And_ he interrupted our post-coital cuddling with that explosion. Even if he didn't plant the bombs himself, he most certainly knew about them and could have chosen to warn you instead of letting the Commissioner proceed with his _nefarious_ plot. For someone who claims to want to protect the integrity of York Shin, that's a rather contradictory thing to do, no?"

"Indeed. At least he let you finish before blowing up the building. _I_ on the other hand, didn't." Midoya's expression turned thoughtful. "But everything else you said is true. Detective," she turned to the man in question, "do you have anything to say in your defence?"

The maniac eyes hardened with rage. "Fuck you and your whores," he snarled and Midoya gave a sigh that was not exactly displeased.

"I was hoping you would say that," she murmured, "because, I must admit, you really did get on my nerves, speaking as if my employees aren't trying to make a living the best way they know how." A throwing knife flickered into being in her hands and she smiled at the shaking man. "Goodbye detective, it has been fun. Now, I would greatly appreciate it if you hold still. I promise, this wouldn't hurt one bit…"

One thing Kuroro will say about Midoya, she never promised anything she didn't intend to see through to the bloody, messy end.

* * *

As it turned out, it was one thing to agree on killing the Commissioner, it was quite another to get it done. If the fact that the police headquarters, where according to a... _leaking_ Detective Bran, the Commissioner was at present, was half way across the city from the _Velvet House_ wasn't enough, the fact that they were both bleeding slowly but steadily onto the sordid grounds of a York Shin alleyway would have put a crimp in any plan they came up with.

"Your left hand is useless," Kuroro noted, holding up said hand gingerly.

"I can still move my thumb and little finger," Midoya replied, flexing the unbroken fingers.

"Your left eye is swollen shut too."

"I can bring the swelling down by lancing it."

"And your ribs are broken."

"As are yours."

"This seems to happen every time we meet."

"As they say, 'love hurts'."

In the dim light of the alley, they exchanged wry smiles as they examined the injuries on their bodies. "This is why I dislike being targeted by the Zoldycks," Midoya sighed. "They always ruin whatever outfit I happen to be wearing." She gestured to her once-white suit with an air of resignation. "I'm going to have to discard this which is a pity. It has such a beautiful cut."

"Indeed," Kuroro agreed, examining his shirt which was by this time more hole than cloth. "My top will have to be burned. Fortunately, my coat survived the explosion."

"Dear, your coat would survive a nuclear apocalypse." Midoya glanced out of the alley where the sounds of wailing sirens could still be heard. "The Zoldycks might have lost us for now, but they're going to catch up soon. We need to kill the Commissioner ASAP, preferably before he finds out I am alive and after him, and goes into hiding. We can't afford to rest and recuperate."

"Yes, but with the building in flames, the area in chaos and the good detective dead," Kuroro paused to regard the blood-stained figure on the ground, "chances are, the Commissioner hasn't been informed of your status yet. The Zoldycks wouldn't contact the client until after the assassination is complete, so he might guess that you aren't. But, he doesn't know that you know he is behind this."

"It doesn't give us much of a leeway," Midoya said doubtfully.

"Enough to get us patched up a little," Kuroro told her. "At the very least, we should tape the broken ribs down and stop the bleeding. I should also call my Ryodan before they end up tearing around York Shin looking for me."

"Alright," Midoya finally said. "I don't suppose Machi is in town?"

"She is. I'll see if she can get to us within the next hour. In the meantime, we'll have to make do with what we can find."

"That's a very nice idea, dear." Midoya peered at him cautiously. "But you're not going to suggest we salvage the discarded trash in this alley and use them to tape up our wounds right? Because, while I understand that is the practice in Meteor City, I have to point out that it is more likely to leave us dead from a deadly infection than help us in any long-term way."

Kuroro laughed at that despite how badly it hurt his ribs to do so. "No, when in York Shin, I do as the York Shiners do," he replied and turned to leave the alley, trusting Midoya to follow him.

Since almost everyone had gathered further down the street to watch the _Velvet House_ burn, the streets were relatively empty as he led her across the road. That was just as well, given how the both of them looked at the moment. Kuroro knew well how bad Midoya looked, with bones sticking out of her flesh, blood leaking out of multiple wounds, and her face swollen and bruised, and he had guessed that he didn't look much better. But it was still a shock when he caught a glimpse of his reflection in a shop window and saw just how _horrifying_ he looked. Though his black clothes hid most of the blood on him, almost every inch of his pale skin was smeared red. His face was bruised and swollen, though not quite as badly as Midoya's. And though his clothes hid most of the broken bones, he could feel them each time he moved.

"Don't worry, your face isn't as bad as mine," Midoya said comfortingly in when he stopped in front of the window and swore up a storm at his reflection,

Reassured that he wasn't the worst-off of the pair, Kuroro put aside his annoyance at the state of his face with the promise to kill the Commissioner personally. And to do that, he reminded himself, they had to make a pit stop first at the…

"Convenience store?" Midoya asked as they stepped into the air-conditioned, mucky smelling store. "Why a convenience store?"

"They are open all the time and they sell all sorts of things," Kuroro told her with a shrug. "It's just convenient, excuse the pun."

"Ah," Midoya said and looked around curiously and just a little warily. It struck Kuroro that this might be the first time Midoya had actually stepped inside a convenience store since she normally shopped at that upscale market near her penthouse, so he directed her to a little corner where someone had put a couple of plastic stools for customers. "Take a seat and wait," he suggested.

"You don't have to baby me, you know," Midoya told him exasperatedly even as she perched herself primly onto the cracked, plastic stool.

"Of course not, my dear, but there's no time for you to go sight-seeing. You'll just have to mingle with the plebeians next time," Kuroro teased and she rolled her eye at him (presumably, she rolled both eyes, but he could only see one of them). It seemed that she was more tired than she was willing to admit, because she remained seated anyway.

With Midoya settled in, Kuroro took a good look around the store. Despite being in one of the richer neighbourhoods in York Shin, the store was rundown, dirty, and generally ill-maintained. The shopkeeper had already disappeared behind the bullet-proof counter, staring at Kuroro with a glint of suspicion in his eyes. Since there was no point trying to shoplift, Kuroro simply nodded at the man and headed towards the aisle that hosted a small variety of first aid.

In most convenience stores, the first aid section would have been pathetically tiny, featuring the most basic and inadequate of dressings, like _band aid_ (Kuroro snorted). Given that this convenience store was located in York Shin, the city of Mafia, a much wider variety of first aid was on sale. Kuroro picked up a large variety of bandages, splits and disinfectant, but passed on the chilled packets of blood. One never knew where that blood came from after all. As he tried to look for some surgical tape, he called Shalnark and gave him the latest updates on the mission. The good news was that the Ryodan hadn't panicked enough to level the entire city in a search for him. The bad news was that they were several hours away, having followed a false lead into the outskirts of York Shin.

"No matter," he told them. "Just try to get to the police headquarters as soon as possible. Midoya and I will deal with the issue the best we can first."

Conversation done, he hung up and walked to the counter, drew his Benz knife, injected it with Nen, and stuck it straight through the bullet-proof glass. The shopkeeper's face turned deathly pale as he stared at Kuroro's blood-soaked, grinning face.

"You never saw either me or my friend there," Kuroro said emphatically, twisting the knife just a little so the glass started to crack.

"Saw who?" the shopkeeper asked, licking his lips nervously.

"An excellent response," Kuroro said pleasantly and dropped a couple of bills on the counter, courtesy of the now-dead Detective Bran.

Returning to where Midoya was, he found her slumped in the stool, snoring softly. Her good hand lay on her lap, holding her phone which was smeared with blood. From it emitted a faint, panicked, somewhat familiar voice, telling Kuroro that Midoya had fallen asleep in the middle of a conversation.

Putting the first aid down, Kuroro gently extracted the phone from her hand and held it to his ear.

"…_sei! What's happening? Sensei! Can you hear me?"_

"Hello Pepeka," Kuroro greeted. "I've been meaning to call to thank you for your letter but I got terribly distracted by my mission against Midoya. How have you been?"

"_Kuroro! Why are you…? What have you done with sensei? Where is she?"_

"She's right here. She's just…" Kuroro stared at the blood dripping down Midoya's face and the pink foam at the edge of her lips, "asleep."

"_Oh god, what did you do to her? Fuck… Dude, you've got to listen to me! I know you're pretty fucking pissed with what a sensei did in Agocchi, but you've got to believe me when I say sensei never meant to hurt you! I'm fucking…"_

"I know that," Kuroro interrupted. "It is painfully obvious Midoya never truly meant to hurt me as badly as she did. Why does everyone think I am so stupid I can't see that for myself? The evidence is clear and her train of logic is easy to see in hindsight. If all her plans had gone as she intended to, the Ryodan wouldn't have lost anything in the mission at all. She even made sure I wasn't wearing my favourite coat when we fought, you know? The clothes that were blown up when she threw that bomb at me were paid for with her money. With so much evidence, surely even a child could reach that conclusion easily."

"_What?"_

"Anyway, Pepeka, that is not important," Kuroro went on. "Listen, Midoya and I are going to hunt the Commissioner. We're both hurt so it would be nice to have some backup. Meet up with the Ryodan and meet us at the police headquarter, wouldn't you? Call Shalnark. He has the details."

"_What? What do you mean you're going to hunt the Commissioner? What's going on?" _

"Later," Kuroro said dismissively. "I have to patch us up before we bleed to death." Ignoring Pepeka's increasingly panicked shouts, he hung up and put the phone back in Midoya's hand. That woke her, and she blinked sleepily at him.

"Kuroro," she murmured, with a lazy smile. "The sex must have been awesome because I feel like my hips are dislocated and my lungs are leaking out of my mouth."

"They probably are," Kuroro said and sank onto the stool next to hers. "Let's do something about that, shall we?" The bandages were passed around and they started to do whatever they could about the physical injuries.

With a great deal of disregard for the cleanliness of the store, Kuroro used a saline solution to liberally rinse out the wounds they had. Any hope that it might make them look less hideous was quickly dashed.

"Dear, your face looks terrible," Midoya commented unhelpfully and Kuroro gave her his best 'Dancho' look. It only made her laugh, which at least caused her some pain. She didn't seem bothered by the fact that her face looked like a rotten fruit that had cracked open. "It's not like I was ever pretty to begin with," she replied when he asked. "Some would say the broken nose and the swollen eyes improve my looks." Obviously she did not agree with 'some', because she subsequently took her nose in her hands and yanked it back into place with a pained yelp. Kuroro winced in sympathetic pain; he still remembered the time when she had done the same to him, and had no doubt he will remember it till the end of his days.

The rest of it was some quick and dirty patch up, splintering broken limbs where they could, taping down what they couldn't and mopping up as much blood as possible. By the time they were done, they bore a resemblance to nothing more depressing than an embalmed corpse.

"Mummy," Midoya declared, waving her bandaged arms at him playfully.

"Bonolenov," Kuroro insisted, feeling that resembling a Ryodan member gave him more dignity than resembling the long-dead corpse of some long-forgotten pharaoh of a long-extinct civilisation.

"I really wish I remember who that is, since we appear to have much in common with him at the moment," Midoya replied wistfully. "Is he rather fond of chasing after hapless archaeologists and tearing their limbs off?"

"I don't know, Midoya. I've known him for a while and I hardly know much about him. Bonolenov is a very reclusive man and I don't like to probe into my members' private lives. If he is in the habit of feasting on overly-curious archaeologists, I wouldn't know it."

Abruptly, the front door of the convenience store erupted inwards, and drooling, snarling people started gracelessly marching in, waving a wide assortment of weapons. The shopkeeper screamed in terror and huddled down behind the counter immediately.

"Ah," Midoya said knowingly.

"So that's what Illumi has been doing," Kuroro commented.

"It's a smart strategy," Midoya noted reflectively. "He knows he runs the risk of losing us in the city, so it makes sense to get as many people on his side as possible."

"Indeed," Kuroro agreed. "It seems we have outstayed our welcome here."

"A pity; I was just starting to enjoy the smell of sewage and dead rats."

By then, the crowd of at least twenty people were already converging on them, so Kuroro stood up and drew his Benz and flicked it thoughtfully. "Are you ready for battle, Midoya?"

"But of course," Midoya said amiably, drawing her dagger. "We should get out of here and head straight for the Commissioner's. It seems we cannot afford to dally about anymore, especially if Illumi has a way of finding out our location from his little puppets."

"No more pit stops on the way then. Let us hope the bandages hold up," Kuroro agreed then pounced on the nearest puppet shambling towards him.

If Kuroro hadn't seen for himself how bad Midoya's wounds were, he would never have guessed it from the way she darted among the crowd of zombies that were swiping at them with knives, baseball bats and other miscellaneous weapons. Her dagger was a flash of lightning as she danced through the screaming bodies, and blood sprayed everywhere when she made contact with flesh.

Ah, how he had missed that sight, Kuroro mused happily as he idly stuck his knife through a middle-age man's carotid artery, causing blood to splatter over the yellow-stained walls of the store. He had almost forgotten how good Midoya was at killing people, and how lovely she looked while doing so. It always seemed so easy when she did it. Life, when taken by Midoya, became insignificant and fragile, so easily squashed and discarded.

"I really like the way you cut off other people's limbs," Kuroro told her fondly as he sliced off a couple of heads. "It's always quite a sight to see."

"Thank you, dear. I like the way you kill people too. Your movements are always admirably cost-efficient," Midoya beamed, joining him in the general decapitation of living puppets. Her eyes glided towards the right before meeting his again. He glanced in the direction she had looked at and saw immediately what she planned to do.

Trusting her to know that he understood, he moved immediately, dropping into a roll as close to the ground as he could manage. At the same time, Midoya picked up a shelf, dropping bags of chips on the ground as she did, and threw it straight across the shop. Some puppets were sent flying, others dropped dead on the spot, but none remained standing as Kuroro picked himself up and darted out of the backdoor, Midoya close behind him.

Slamming the door behind them, Kuroro took a deep breath and immediately regretted it. The back alley smelled exactly like the shop inside, only about ten times worse. They didn't stop to complain though; the dark auras converging rapidly on their position discouraged any loitering.

"Let's go," Midoya said, eyeing the main street. "We can try finding a car at the main road."

"At this time of night? The York Shin streets will be congested."

"True," Midoya admitted. "What do you suggest then? I hope you're not going to suggest the subway because we will definitely cause a commotion with the way we look now."

Something down the alley caught his eye and Kuroro moved over to investigate. It was covered by a dirty tarp which he attempted to nudge off with his shoes. Since that didn't work, he resorted to closing his eyes, grabbing the tarp and yanking it off as quickly as he could. "Ah," he said, once he had dropped the filthy covering, "it's exactly what I thought it is."

"What is?" Midoya stared as Kuroro gripped the object he had found and heaved it into an upright position. "Kuroro is that a…?"

"Bicycle," Kuroro said proudly, examining the rusty but functional vehicle. "It'll be faster and more energy-conserving than running, especially if we put some Nen into it. Too bad there's only one, but there seems to be space in the back for someone to sit on. Would you like to take the front or the back?"

To his surprise, Midoya cleared her throat and gave him a look that he couldn't quite describe. "I don't know how to ride a bicycle," she said, and this time, he heard the embarrassment in her voice.

"You don't?" Kuroro stared at her, bemused. How could she not know how to ride a bicycle? Wasn't that the first thing every child learned? Bicycles are incredibly convenient, cheap and readily available forms of transport after all.

"Never had the need to," she replied with a shrug, and Kuroro remembered that this was a woman who spent all her life either as part of a wealthy family or a patient in a mental asylum and thus had little use for something as common as a bicycle. "And I am only telling you this because of our new policy on honesty here so you've better not tell anyone else."

"Oh."

"I'm serious, Kuroro."

"Right." He desperately wanted to tease her, especially since she was obviously mortified by this. It was a pity she wasn't exactly blushing, though her tone was enough to make the sadist in Kuroro perk up cheerfully. But the scent of the Zoldyck's dark auras was becoming stronger with each passing second, so he put aside his desire to make fun of her in favour of escaping with their lives and limbs mostly intact. "Well then," Kuroro said, climbing onto the bicycle. "Just sit here, keep your legs away from the wheels and hold on to me."

"Alright dear." He felt her weight on the bicycle shortly before she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Ugh, you smell like burnt meat."

"An apt description of how I actually feel."

With Midoya safely behind him and the Zoldycks almost on them, Kuroro took off as fast as he could, pushing just the tiniest bit of Nen into the bicycle to make it move faster. Deciding to avoid the main street, Kuroro turned the bicycle down a slope that headed towards another alley. Midoya, he knew, was very familiar with the backstreets of York Shin, so he felt pretty certain they could navigate them well enough to reach the police headquarters. With that thought in mind, Kuroro picked up speed, not bothering to use the brakes as they headed down slope.

As they did, the unexpected happen. Midoya June Kito, the same woman who had just nonchalantly jumped off a fifty storey building, _squealed_ in delight. The sound was so unexpected Kuroro jumped in his seat. He had never heard Midoya make a noise like this before, even during sex. He wondered if he should be jealous of the bicycle and whether it would be too much if he decided to take it apart just for that.

"Really, Midoya?" Kuroro questioned doubtfully as he let gravity pull the bicycle down slope.

"Faster!" she urged gleefully, ignoring his sarcasm. When he complied with her wishes, peddling hard though they were not at the end of the slope, she laughed delightedly. "This is so fun!" she giggled. "Kuroro dear, you really need to teach me how to ride a bicycle. It half reminds me of that time I rode a burning blimp on the outside through a thunderstorm while it plummeted to the earth."

"I'm sure I can find the time," Kuroro replied, smiling despite himself. Trust Midoya to find something as common as riding a bicycle fun. "I must warn you that I am a very harsh teacher though."

"Then it is fortunate that I'm a quick learner," Midoya beamed as they reached the end of the slope. "That was really fun. Can we do it again?" she asked hopefully.

"Only if there are more slopes on the way," Kuroro said with mock sternness. "Do try to remember that we are on our way to assassinate the Commissioner with two very powerful and very scary assassins on our tails."

"Of course, dear," Midoya said, a smile in her voice, and fell silent as she too started to inject Nen into the bicycle.

For a moment, they rode in total silence so Kuroro focused on maintaining just the barest of Nen in the bicycle to avoid burning out early. It was fortunate that his legs hadn't been injured too badly in the initial attack, though his sides ached with the motion. Behind him, he could feel Midoya gently pushing Nen into the bicycle to assist him. At the same time, he felt her reaching out with her senses. Feeling for the Zoldycks, he assumed.

As they rounded a turn, Midoya sighed softly in his ear. "This is fun, Kuroro," she murmured. "But do you know what I think I will dislike about bicycles?"

"I think I do," Kuroro said, bringing the bicycle to a stop. Stepping off the bicycle, he regarded their surroundings. "You dislike how open and vulnerable it leaves us to the poor little humans being controlled by Illumi?"

"No," Midoya said, hopping off the bicycle to meet the hundreds of puppets surrounding them and drawing out her dagger again. "It's not that."

"Oh?" Kuroro asked, standing with his back to her, his Benz drawn and held in a ready position. "Then what is it?"

"It's how we can't have sex on it without doing a rather uncomfortable and impractical balancing act."

"Ah. Good point."

Then there was no time to speak anymore, because the battle was on.

* * *

Right about the time between Midoya and Kuroro finishing dismembering the latest group of Illumi's puppets and Midoya becoming an expert in bicycle-riding, Pepeka Timbal, budding Blacklist Hunter and very ill-used apprentice was busy having a panic attack.

In his admittedly inexpert opinion, things have just gone downhill in a fucking hurry. First, the brothel he knew sensei was at just got bombed and her status was unknown. Sure, he knew she got out of the brothel but she hadn't managed to explain anything before disappearing again. Though he knew Kuroro was with her, he had no idea if he was supposed to be happy or not. Was Kuroro on their side? He had said he knew sensei hadn't deliberately hurt him that badly, but he hadn't _said_ he was on their side specifically. Was sensei in danger? He had tried calling back, but sensei hadn't answered her phone. Had Kuroro done something to sensei? He was going to kill that motherfucking asshole if he did and… Oh god, the suspense was killing him.

In a moment of desperation, he had called Shalnark as Kuroro had instructed. However, Shalnark had insisted that the whole story was too complicated to be told over the phone and they should just meet up in person before any explanations take place. No matter how much Pepeka had shouted, all Shalnark would say was that they should meet at the Goddess Park, which was on the way to the police headquarters. It could be a trap, Pepeka knew, but damn if it was the only lead he had.

So here Pepeka was now, sitting on a bench in Goddess Park, having an anxiety attack and trying not to imagine the horrible things that could be happening to sensei at the moment. Even if the Ryodan kidnapped and tortured him, at least let them tell him what had happened to sensei first before he died, he prayed. He just needed to _know_ she was safe, damn it, and where the fuck was the bloody Ryodan? He had called them a good twenty minutes ago!

Just as Pepeka was ready to just give in and leave, a car screeched into sight, tearing up well-tended lawns and mowing down statues until it came to a stop before him. The car door slammed open and Nobunaga stuck his head out. "Hey Timbal, my man!" he greeted. "Get in! Shit's going down and we need to be at the police headquarters by yesterday!"

Reassured by the friendliness of the greeting, Pepeka flung himself into the car, and found himself sprawled over Nobunaga and Machi's legs. "Sorry," he muttered apologetically as the two Spiders cursed and swore and tried their best to make room for his long, bulky legs.

"Timbal, you are fucking in the way," Machi grumbled and Shalnark, in the driver's seat, laughed.

"I said I'm sorry," Pepeka protested, barely managing to get the door close before Shalnark took off again. "And damn it, Shalnark! You drive like sensei!" he howled as he tumbled into the back of the front seats. As he did, the puppy in his pocket whimpered. Both Machi and Nobunaga stared at his pants inquisitively, but he ignored them in favour of trying to right himself.

"We're in a hurry," Shalnark explained cheerfully.

"I wish I knew why," Pepeka complained, struggling into his seat and doing his best impression of a foetus. "Will someone tell me what the fuck is going on?"

"Kito gave Dancho back his underwear but Dancho decided he wanted her back so he came to York Shin to blow up her businesses," Shizuku, in the front, said immediately and Pepeka gaped at the back of her head.

"What?" he demanded. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"That's actually technically correct," Shalnark mused. "Well done, Shizuku! I do believe your memory is improving tremendously."

"Thanks, Shal!"

Pepeka growled impatiently. "How the fuck is that a good explanation? Nobunaga, you explain," he snapped.

"Alright, alright. Cool your jets," Nobunaga said and launched into an explanation starting with Kuroro's reacquisition of his underwear and ending with the revelation that the Commissioner was the _real_ bad guy and that the Zoldycks were after sensei.

"Zoldycks!" Pepeka squeaked. "Oh fuck! Shit _is_ going down! The Zoldycks are fucking scary!"

"Tell me about it," Nobunaga snorted. "You should see Kalluto if you so much as touch his kimono. I swear. I had paper cuts all over my ass for days."

"Pervert," Machi muttered and Nobunaga turned red.

"That's not what I meant! All I did was step on his fucking sleeves by accident! I didn't…" Nobunaga's voice trailed off in splutters as Machi turned her nose up at him and Shalnark burst into amused laughter.

Since he wasn't sure what Nobunaga was talking about, Pepeka continued, "We have to get to Kuroro and sensei then! If they're as badly injured as Kuroro said they are, they wouldn't be able to fight properly against the Zoldycks!"

"That's what we're doing," Shalnark said, somehow managing to drive down the traffic-logged streets of York Shin central at a hundred miles per hour. "We're rushing to the police headquarters as fast as we can. If all goes well, hopefully Dancho and Kito can assassinate the Commissioner before the Zoldycks realise what is happening. If not… well, we've better hope we reach them before the Zoldycks do."

"Fuck," Pepeka swore and tried not to squirm since it only made Machi glare at him. "Isn't there anything else we can do?"

"Like what?" Shizuku asked.

"I don't know!" Pepeka shouted then regretted it, because it wasn't proper to shout at nice ladies like Shizuku. "Sorry. Geez, I'm just so frustrated!"

"You're cute," Shizuku beamed. "No one ever apologises to me."

In a parallel universe where sensei wasn't in danger, Pepeka would have turned beetroot red at her comment and possibly had unfaithful thoughts about maybe perhaps _asking her out_. However, since sensei _was_ in danger, Pepeka decided to divert his limited blood source to his brain rather than his cheeks and ears, and think about the implications of a rather pretty girl telling him he is 'cute' another time. "Come on guys," he said instead. "Kuroro and sensei need time. Let's buy them time."

"What do you have in mind?" Shalnark asked, turning the wheel violently so the entire car swerved dangerously.

"Uh…" Pepeka pushed the flailing Nobunaga and Machi off him as he thought furiously. "Attacking the Zoldycks ourselves?"

"We're as far from the Zoldycks as we are from Dancho and Kito," Machi pointed out, as she plopped back on her seat.. "There's no way we're reaching either of them in time."

"Actually," Shalnark said, as he skidded the car on two wheels in between two oil tankers, "we don't have to attack the Zoldycks ourselves to delay them."

"Yeah?" Nobunaga questioned as he ended up squashed in between Pepeka and Machi, with Pepeka, fortunately, beneath him. "What's your brilliant idea, Shal? Stop kicking me, Machi! I can't get up either!"

"Well, from the way Dancho was talking, it seems they have managed to lose the Zoldycks for now," Shalnark replied, letting the car fall back on all four wheels with a loud thud. "We can assume then that the Zoldycks are busy trying to find them. We can make use of that."

"How?" Shizuku asked, pushing her glasses back into place. Her efforts were ruined when the car went upside-down, effectively depositing her glasses on the roof of the car.

"By spreading false information of course," Shalnark said cheerfully over the loud ruckus of the three people in the backseats shouting and scrambling about in a tangle of limbs. "Told them they should have put on their seatbelts," he added as an aside.

"That is true," Shizuku, still attached to her seat, agreed, as she felt about for her glasses.

"Anyway, the plan will be to create so much information on the Net that the Zoldycks can't reliably figure out where Dancho and Kito are at the moment." Abruptly, the car righted itself and the three people behind slammed back into their seats.

"Shalnark!" Nobunaga howled, fumbling for his seatbelt.

"Sorry, sorry," Shalnark laughed. "Anyway, as I was saying…"

"No, wait…!" Pepeka squeaked as the car went upside-down again. "Shalnark!"

"Hah," Machi snorted, safely in her seat. "Slow."

"We need to spread false information on the Net. Once the Zoldycks lose Dancho, it only makes sense that they will try the online grapevines to get some clues," Shalnark repeated loudly, ignoring Pepeka's protests. "We're going to a cyber café, and we're going to leave all sorts of hints on all kinds of forums indicating that Dancho and Kito are anywhere _but_ the police headquarters."

"All of us?" Nobunaga asked, unhelpfully shoving Pepeka's kicking legs away.

"Nope," Shalnark said as the car righted again, and Pepeka plopped back onto his seat with a grunt. "I can do it myself. The rest of you should continue to the police headquarters like Dancho instructed. We just need to find a cyber café or someplace with wireless..."

"Turn left at the next traffic light," Pepeka grunted, finally managing to wrestle the seatbelt over his substantial bulk. "There's a cyber café two blocks from there." At their stares, he growled, "What? I live in York Shin! Of course I know where everything is!"

"Can't believe you're useful sometimes," Machi said anyway. "You're usually just so much dead-meat."

Well, fuck you too, Pepeka thought, but didn't say it out loud. Because Machi is a girl and you don't swear at girls. And she's scary, but that was totally not the reason why he didn't dare speak up against her. "I am not useless," he protested feebly instead.

"It's true, Machi. He is pretty good at smashing skulls," Nobunaga commented. "Even if he spent half the time almost-crying about it."

"Fuck, don't remind me, man," Pepeka grumbled. "I had to volunteer at an elderly home for months before I got over that."

"Oh really?" Shizuku asked. "Feitan and Phinx volunteer at an elderly home too! But that's only because they get free food and television there. Being principled about not spending money can be quite a tiring job, I think."

Before Pepeka could think of a response to that, the car screeched to a gut-spilling stop, causing the seatbelt to dig into his flesh. Groaning in agony, Pepeka couldn't help feeling that he really should have used _Ken_ to defend himself with Shalnark behind the wheel.

As Machi and Nobunaga shouted at angrily at Shalnark, he laughed sheepishly and climbed out of the car. "I've got the Zoldycks," he said, leaning in so he could speak to them. "Get to Dancho."

"Got it," Nobunaga said and Pepeka gave him an encouraging fist to bump.

With a last grin at them, Shalnark slammed the door shut and headed for the tiny cyber café situated near the main road. "Alright then, let's go," Shizuku said, magically appearing in the driver's seat.

"Oh _fuck_," Machi cursed, the only warning Pepeka got before Shizuku stomped on the accelerator.

"Sensei," Pepeka muttered, as the car sped off, "I admit it now. You are not the worst driver I've ever met, _by far_."

* * *

Shelves were overturned, glass had shattered, and packets of candy and chips had burst open to mix with the blood and innards on the floor. Illumi Zoldyck, eldest son of the Zolydyck family, bent over and touched the overturned shelf lying on top of some of the corpses. The thin layer of energy covering the shelf buzzed gently against his finger like warm sunshine in a meadow of flowers covered with blood and satin lingerie.

"Nen," he reported. "And it is not Kuroro's."

From behind him, he heard Grandfather sigh loudly. "This is a very unprofitable business deal," he complained, leaning over Illumi's shoulder to peer at the shelf. "We were not told June Kito knows Nen nor were we told the Genei Ryodan is helping her."

"The client obviously doesn't know much about the target," Illumi agreed, looking around the devastation that had once been a convenience store. Since their client's lack of knowledge was not something that could be remedied at the moment, he put it aside as insignificant and focused on the immediate problem. "We lost contact with them here," he said instead. "My Needlemen are looking for them now. I managed to capture many of the people who were watching the brothel burn, so we should hear news of them before long."

"Che," Grandfather snorted behind him. "I don't quite approve of your methods, boy, but I must admit they work quite well. You owe me quite a bit of money for the Dragon Dive I used on the _Velvet House _by the way. I wonder how much more you intend to spend, dragging me along on your hunt like this."

"It was well worth it," Illumi said, straightening up and taking one last look around the building. "Kuroro is very strong, and, as we know now, so is June Kito. Now that they are loose in the city, it will take more effort on our part than we like to hunt them down."

"Unprofitable, absolutely unprofitable," Grandfather grumbled. "Did you take a look at the backdoor, boy?"

Illumi paused in the process of picking a pin out of one of the corpses and glanced at the door Grandfather was referring to. Immediately, he caught on to what Grandfather was trying to say. "They escaped through here," he confirmed, opening the door to reveal a thick smudge of blood on the ground. "And they are definitely still hurt. This blood…" Dropping to his knees, Illumi pressed his face as near to the blood as he could and drew in a sharp inhalation, "It is Kuroro's mixed with disinfectant. They acquired first aid, but it's not complete or sufficient."

"Ho," Grandfather commented neutrally, coming up behind him.

Still on all fours, Illumi skittered about the back alley, his nose pressed to the ground. "I smell June Kito too," he reported, deliberately filtering out the smell of accumulated garbage. "They stopped here only briefly. Then they…" He stopped and got to his feet.

"They?" Grandfather asked patiently.

"Got on a bicycle," Illumi finished and Grandfather burst out laughing.

"Interesting kids, those two," Grandfather chuckled. "So, what are you going to do, Illumi, now that you've lost your target?"

Illumi returned Grandfather's amused look with a blank one. "Ah," he commented as an idea struck him. Pulling out his phone, he started to text Milluki. "I'm going to get Milluki to look for them." He frowned at Milluki's reply which included what he wanted in return. "You are right, Grandfather. This job is extremely unprofitable."

"We live and learn, boy. You might as well charge the extra costs to the client since he didn't tell us June Kito was that powerful."

Illumi fixed blank, black eyes on Grandfather. "That is an excellent idea," he replied. "I am very much cheered up now."

"Not even your mother can tell," Grandfather muttered.

Illumi would have replied that was because Mother isn't very good at reading emotions, but chances are, that would get back to Mother and she would just cry over how unappreciated she is. That would not be so bad if she didn't decide to use them as target practice when she's upset. Even if it made for excellent training, it would only cost him in time and energy spent healing his wounds. Before he could decide on what to say, his phone buzzed. Glancing at it, he was not surprised to see that Milluki had come through on the information they needed. As Grandfather liked to say, Milluki was a freak, but he was a _smart_ freak. "This is interesting," Illumi commented when he saw the information. "It seems our target is very intelligent."

"Ho?" Somehow, despite being much shorter than him, Grandfather managed to peer over his shoulder at his phone. "Is that correct?" he questioned. "Three million hits? What search keywords did Milluki use? He needs to narrow it down."

"He used 'one male dressed in a fur coat and one female dressed in a white suit, both severely injured'," Illumi replied. "I do not believe that Milluki's search keywords are the problem."

"Ah, I see. They have a computer expert of their own polluting the waters." A fierce grin lit up Grandfather's face. "They underestimate us. Contact Milluki again, Illumi. I have a question for him."

"Yes?" Illumi asked. "What question would that be?"

"Ask him," Grandfather said, eyes gleaming, "where sightings of the pair have _not_ been reported."

"Oh. Isn't that going to give us a lot of hits?" Illumi questioned even as he texted the message to Milluki.

"Not if we have an idea of what to look out for," Grandfather said, even as Milluki texted him back.

"We do?" Illumi glanced at Milluki's reply. "There are twenty million hits on that, Grandfather. Milluki asked if you could narrow the search down a little?"

"Alright," Grandfather said, still grinning. "Ask Milluki if the pair have been spotted near the police headquarters."

Illumi tilted his head. "No," he reported.

"Then there's where we're going," Grandfather grinned. "And we should hurry. We really don't want them to kill our client before we get paid."

* * *

A/N: I must apologise to those who told me they liked Bran. I had a personal vendetta against him from the moment he was born and I just knew I was going to kill him before the story was over. Something about him just rubbed me the wrong way. On the bright side, the Zoldycks are here and isn't that wonderful? (hopeful face)

On that note, I must credit their appearance to the wonderfully supportive **Fio682** who first suggested that Midoya meet the Zoldycks, so thank you very much! I have a much larger story with these characters on the storyboard which will explore their characters and the way they interact in greater detail, and hopefully you'll get to see it sometime this year. On another note, I also realised you are the one who said you like Bran… so well. Really, deeply apologetic. I promise to come up with nice characters that I will try not to kill off in the future.

Trivial: How Illumi got a nose-full of Kuroro's scent was something of a tale.

It started when Illumi got a text message from an unknown number requesting him for a job. Sitting in the bubble bath in his private bathroom in the Zoldyck mansion, Illumi had glanced at the screen and raised his eyebrow at the message:_ Private Number: I want you to assassinate the Ten Godfathers._ Since Illumi did not give out his private number to strangers, he surmised that this unknown sender had somehow obtained his number through highly illegal and invasive means. That alone caught Illumi's interest enough that he decided against deleting the text. At the same time, it also made him reluctant to accept the job right away. So, he opted for a meeting. With that in mind, Illumi had replied: _We should meet first. You can set the time and place. Illumi Zoldyck. _

The reply was immediate: _Alright. I hope now is a good time because I'm in your bedroom._

Illumi stared at the reply then climbed out of his soothing bubble bath. Tossing off the shower cap and wrapping a towel around his waist, he had then proceeded into the bedroom. As promised, a young man stood in the middle of the room, looking around almost absent-mindedly.

"Ah," the young man said, smiling, "pleased to meet you, Mr Zoldyck. I'm Kuroro Lucifer." He didn't hold out a hand to shake, which was just as well since Illumi didn't shake hands. Excellent way to catch a nasty disease.

"Illumi Zoldyck," Illumi replied. "So, you want me to assassinate the Ten Godfathers."

"Yes, that would be nice," Kuroro Lucifer replied with a smile.

"No, that would be ten million zennis. Five million deposit before the assassination. Five million after."

"Wonderful," Kuroro Lucifer said and even sounded like he meant it, which was new. Most people, in Illumi's experience, try to negotiate the price down.

It may seem quite counter-intuitive, but prior to this point, Illumi hadn't even thought of finding out more about this strange young man. There was something about the man that made his presence here seem so natural. The moment Illumi realised this though, he also realised that this would not do. The man was _charming_ him, and no respectable Zoldyck would allow himself to be _charmed_. So, Illumi had taken one step forward with the intention of telling him to leave in a_ stern _manner.

The man reacted immediately, drawing out a knife and jumping onto Illumi's desk. Illumi, who hadn't expected that, just stared blankly at him.

After an awkward pause, the man said, "I am dreadfully sorry." This time he didn't sound like he meant it at all.

And that was when Illumi Zoldyck decided to smell the man's knees.

Now, at this point, if Mother had walked by, she would have stopped, burst into tears, killed the young man and Illumi, and then asked his corpse if he had been _making friends_. If it was Grandfather, he would just smile, step out of Illumi's bedroom and whisper, "Next time, remember to lock the door. I've also got condoms if you need them." While the first scenario would have ended with him dead, it was still infinitely preferable to accepting condoms from a smirking Grandfather.

So, fortunately for him, no one actually walked pass the room. That gave him the opportunity to get a good sniff of the man's knees.

"What are you doing?" Kuroro Lucifer asked, not sounding offended, just mildly curious, which was again new in Illumi's experience. People tended to react badly to Illumi smelling them.

"Memorising your scent so that if I ever decide to kill you, I can track you," Illumi replied matter-of-factly.

"Oh." The man blinked down at him. "What an excellent idea." With a graceful move, he bent over, pressed his face close to Illumi's hair and inhaled deeply. "Now I know how you smell like," he said almost idly. "I can track you down if I decide to kill you too. Isn't that nice?" Smiling an open, friendly smile, he had then leapt lightly off the desk and whipped out his phone. "Five million, you said? Well, there you go." He turned the phone so Illumi could see the screen. It occurred to Illumi that the man hadn't bothered to ask for an account number. He still sent the deposit to the right account though.

"Great," Illumi said, largely because he had no idea what else to say. Social skills are not a big thing in the Zoldyck education. "Any specific instructions for place and time of execution?"

"I'll send the details to your email," the man replied and didn't ask for Illumi's email address. Illumi had no doubts the man already knew.

"That will do just fine," Illumi told him. "Nice working with you." He paused and hinted, not too subtly, "Do you need me to show you the way out?"

"It's quite okay," Kuroro Lucifer said beaming. "I'll just let myself out. Goodbye."

"Bye," Illumi replied.

Oddly enough, it was only two days later that Illumi realised he had accepted the assignment to assassinate the_ Ten Godfathers_, the head honchos of global mafia-dom and potentially ten of the most powerful men in the world, that he had accepted it from an unknown young man who had broken into his bedroom and smelled his hair,and that it had never even occurred to him to say no.

On another note: Sorry about the excessively long trivial. This idea had been bouncing about in my head for a while so I just had to get it down. I've even been thinking of writing a longer version of this particular meeting for a long, _long_ time now, but I've got a few more projects at the moment so we'll see.


	7. Of Shell-fish and Leather Armies

**A/N:** The sequel to "A Series of Very Criminal Activities".

This is a very weird and… crazy story. It's not much of an action story (though of course with the Ryodan involved, you can't avoid all the violence and gore etc entirely). The Ryodan wouldn't appear much either, because it is a romance story and the Ryodan isn't very romantic in my opinion, so for those who wanted to see more of the Ryodan, I apologise.

And… I have nothing else to say but this: please forgive me, I knew not what I have done.

Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me.

* * *

Of Shell-fish and Leather Armies

In a city like York Shin, run largely by mafia dons and mobsters, one would have imagined that the police headquarters would have been tiny and insignificant, a mere formality tucked away in some dark, desolate corner of the city that never sleeps. In Kuroro's imagination, it would host no more than two or three policemen at any point in time, bland, dull-looking men sitting around, eating doughnuts and watching idly as a group of mafia thugs executed one of their prisoners.

"Hey," one of the mafia thugs would say to these poor excuses of humanity, "get rid of the body, will'ya?"

"Sure," one of the policemen would say in a droid-like voice. The two officers that make up the police force in York Shin would then mop the mess up into a bucket and feed it to the sharks living in the basement. They would be large, nasty beasts, Kuroro decided, much like the tiger sharks Midoya used to keep on her luxury yacht before it was destroyed by the Hunter Association. The ones she named Cherrie-babes, Honey-kandee and Goldie-darling.

Then perhaps, in an act of petty cruelty, one of the mafia thugs will then shove one of the policemen into the tank to join the chum swirling around there.

"Oops," he would say and the remaining policeman would just shrug resignedly as his comrade-in-boredom was torn to pieces by an inappropriately named monster. "What a tragic accident," the mafia thug would continue, just for show, "now get me some doughnuts, y'dumbass, and make sure they've got pink frosting on it."

With his mind so set on this scenario, Kuroro couldn't help feeling shocked and quite disappointed that the police headquarters turned out to be a gleaming five-storey tall building, modern and sleek, with a state-of-the-art security system and expensive furnishing. No dull-witted nincompoop wandered around aimlessly until it was fed to some apex marine predator. Instead, the people present, soldiers and some who looked suspiciously like Hunters, were tough-looking, alert and carried so wide an assortment of weaponry Kuroro could hear the clanking a mile away.

"Look at all those pretty grenades," Midoya cooed. "Ooh. They're so pretty."

"Look at the blades," Kuroro, who was more a bladed-weapon person than a gun person, replied. "That is a genuine multi-functional military knife. It comes with a military-grade knife, a skeleton key _and_ a can-opener. It makes my Benz look cheap. Definite case of knife-envy here; I'll have to steal one later."

"That's great, dear, but do you see that gun the guard in front is totting? That's the latest range of Nen-technology on the market. It uses compressed Nen to fire glassine-tipped, Nen-cased explosive rounds. I want that." She paused. "Or I would, if I wasn't the one who invented it. The prototype is still in my kitchen, I think." Almost defensively, she added, "I like to eat while I design dangerous technologies of mass destruction."

"You invented that? That gun must cost a fortune. You never use the cheap stuff if you can help it." Kuroro shook his head. "Where did they get the money to invest in all that?" he asked, as they finally cruised to a stop right outside the electric fence surrounding the building. "Practically all the rich people in York Shin are mafia, and I'm pretty certain they don't pay taxes. How much money can the city squeeze from the other people in York Shin? You know, the poor people."

"Oh, that's easy. I paid for it," Midoya replied casually. "In return for favours best left unsaid."

"You paid for it?"

"Yes. I designed the building too."

"_You_ designed it?"

"I might even have built it too. Yes, I am quite certain I did. My name is on the lease."

"Ah." Kuroro blinked. "So you own the police headquarters?"

"Oh, that's silly dear. Of course the city owns it. The police headquarters is public property."

"Uh huh."

"Yup."

"Public property, huh?"

"In theory," Midoya finally admitted with a laugh. "Since everyone's getting into the act of blowing up my buildings, I might as well join them and do the same as well." With an impish grin on her face, she hooked her arm around his and purred, "Darling, since you are _the_ expert on blowing up my buildings, will you be so kind as to help me blow this one up too? I'll repay you with awesome sex later."

"Dear, you don't even need to ask. I'm always up for some recreational arson." Kuroro looked around, taking in the discarded bicycle, the fence, the searchlights, and the heavily-armed men patrolling the building. "Given that you designed the building, I assume you know the best way in. So, how shall we do this?"

"Violently," Midoya giggled girlishly and hugged his arm.

"An admirable sentiment," Kuroro demurred. "Shall we be a little more specific?"

"Well," Midoya said thoughtfully, "to start with, we could try entering the compound."

"Excellent. Now, will you elaborate on that on your own or do you need me to throw you over my knee and spank you till you tell me exactly what you have in mind?"

Midoya's eye lashes lowered alluringly and a wicked smile spread over her face. It made Kuroro entertain thoughts that had nothing to do with arson. Unfortunately, she obviously thought that being spanked in the state she was in would result in her coughing up her internal organs as she said, "Well, the compound is surrounded entirely by an electric fence that is also a Nen field of my design, manned by searchlights and heavily-armed patrols. Many of these men are low-level Hunters, so they do know Nen. It's the only reason they can make use of my designs of course. That makes it difficult to break into, especially since in our state, our best bet is to avoid conflict as much as possible. However, there is a chink in the armour, a gap in the defences that we can make use of."

"A chink in the armour? Seriously? Where?"

"Where else?" Midoya beamed. "The entrance of course."

"Right," Kuroro said, and forced himself to remember that this was the woman who left her windows virtually unguarded most of the time. "So, your plan is to walk straight in through the entrance?"

"That's what entrances are for," Midoya pointed out.

Since that was indisputable logic, Kuroro nodded and tilted his head towards the headquarters. "Well then, what are we waiting for?" He smiled at her. "Let's go."

* * *

Security Guard Grunt was standing by the traffic barrier at the entrance to the police headquarters, pondering the mysteries of shellfish when the odd couple walked up.

If one had simply glanced at the beefy man that was Security Guard Grunt, one wouldn't have thought he was capable of much intelligent thought. With his crew-cut hair, beady eyes, permanent frown and strong, square jaw, Security Guard Grunt looked more like a wrestler than a thinker. However, Security Guard Grunt's hyper-masculine exterior hid a sensitive soul, a delicate spirit and a philosophical mind, one that often wandered to the mysteries of life when on boring guard duty such as this.

As mentioned earlier, the thought that now occupied his intellectually-blessed mind was that of shellfish. It might seem a mundane problem, but to Security Guard Grunt, this particular species of organism posed an immense philosophical problem. In fact, as his discerning mind discerned, they posed several deep, soul-searching problems.

The most prominent problem for the deceptively unintelligent-looking Security Guard Grunt lay in the name itself. To call a shellfish a 'shellfish' is to always articulate a lie. Shellfish aren't 'fish' of course; they are more closely related to insects than 'fish' after yet. Yet each time a human encounters a shellfish, they refer to it as what it is not. Does that not, Security Guard Grunt wondered, give it an identity crisis with each naming? Assuming that to 'name' something is to define its 'identity' then surely to name a creature what it is not is to put it in a position where it is trapped forever in the in-between. It can neither be what it was born to be, nor can it ever aspire to be what it is defined to be. Every time an oblivious York Shiner said in a restaurant that he would like the _shell-fish linguine with white wine sauce_, he was essentially condemning an entire species to flux and uncertainty!

From there, his brilliant and astute mind leapt to the idea of human morality. After all, Security Guard Grunt mused, who were humans to designate names to other creatures? What gave humans the right to lord over other creatures, to set themselves high on the food chain and look down on the majestic lion with its massive fangs, the giant blue whale with its immense bulk, and the sadly mis-named shell-fish trying to live out its quiet existence in peace? Was not the true tragedy of shell-fish the fact that it was ruled by bipeds who, by the accident of nature and the designations of fate, discovered a way to consume them safely with minimal risk of a _Vibrio vulnificus_ infection?

Just as Security Guard Grunt was busy pondering the tragedy that was the 'shellfish', two people walked up to the guard post he was standing in and knocked on the bulletproof glass. With a mere glance, Security Guard Grunt immediately realised that he was looking at two specimens of _Homo sapiens_, one male and one female.

"Excuse me," the female half of the pair greeted with amiable politeness, "is this the entrance to the police headquarters?"

Security Guard Grunt glanced at her, taking in her expensive blood-drenched suit, the bandages wrapped around large portions of her body and the deranged smile on her face, and replied, "Yes Ma'am."

"Oh great!" the female half of the pair said brightly. "We have business here with the Commissioner. Can we go in?"

The deranged smile had gotten uncomfortably wide so Security Guard Grunt transferred his attention to the male half of the pair instead. He looked surprisingly similar to his female half, except that he was better-looking and didn't have a smile on his face. Security Guard Grunt found him much more palatable to look at, not because of any homosexual tendencies he might harbour but simply because the man looked like he at least had some semblance of sanity in him. "What is your business here?" he asked.

"We are here to kill the Commissioner," the female half replied cheerfully.

"With as much violence and prejudice as we can summon," the male half agreed.

"Oh. And who are you?"

"I'm Blacklist Hunter Midoya and this gentleman here is Kuroro Lucifer of the Genei Ryodan. Say hi, darling."

"Hi."

"Hello," Security Guard Grunt replied, dutifully writing the information down in the log-book as he had been trained to do. However, his vast intelligence soon overwhelmed his training and he commented, "Isn't it unwise to tell me that? Not just your identities but your goal as well?"

The female half tilted her head at him in a thoughtful way. "Why?" she asked. "It is the truth."

"I did tell her we should lie," the male half added, "but she insisted we should be honest about our dishonesty. It is a new policy we adopted for our relationship. However, I never intended to extend it to other areas of our lives."

"Practice makes perfect, dear," the female half said patiently. "We should try it out in our daily lives, until we get used to it. I, too, cannot afford to be this candid in my everyday life all the time after all."

Since that was excellent advice, Security Guard Grunt nodded sagely in agreement. "So you're married?" he asked, making small-talk as was his habit while he filed the information into the online system as was protocol.

"No. Dating is a more accurate term, though it doesn't quite cover it," the male half said pensively. "We really should find a proper term for our relationship, Midoya. It's so tiring having to explain again and again why conventional terms like 'girlfriend', 'boyfriend' or 'dating' don't really apply to us."

"All in good time, dear," the female half told him and patted his arm which was swathed in bandages. "Can we go in now, Sir? The Commissioner hired two very dangerous and powerful assassins to kill us, so it is essential for our survival that we kill him first before they get to us. It is the only way to ensure the assassins will be called off our trail. Hence, as I am sure you can imagine, time is of the essence."

"I see," Security Guard Grunt said, since her explanation made perfect sense. "However, I realise I have been put in a moral conundrum here."

The male raised his eyebrows. "You are the only person other than Midoya who uses that word that I know of, at least," he commented. "It is a compliment; I think very highly of Midoya's very expensive education and vast self-acquired knowledge."

"Why, Kuroro, that is the fifth compliment you have paid me tonight. I believe you are quite on the roll here."

"My research _did_ say that compliments should be employed generously when wooing a woman."

"Ah, I need to read more pornographic romance novels, it seems. I'm sure we can learn something from the pornographic side of things, at least." She smiled sweetly at him. "How's your member feeling now? Throbbing? Pulsating? Purple?"

"Dear Midoya, your skill in bed already leaves little to be desired, hence I can assure you that my penis does not resemble a spoiled fruit with maggots crawling about under the surface. Sexualised depictions of decaying penises aside, I am not averse to trying out some of the things I read about in these novels. Have you ever heard of a _French…" _

"I am in a moral conundrum here," Security Guard Grunt said loudly over their flirting. "Please hear me out." The two bloodied people turned back to him with polite attentiveness so he continued, "As I see it now, I am being forced to choose between your lives or the life of the Commissioner. Either path leads to death; it just depends on whose, and I am not comfortable making the choice here. If you can tell me why I should let you live instead of the Commissioner, I will be extremely willing to assist you."

"Ah…" The two of them exchanged significant looks. Then in a tone of genuine regret, the female half said, "I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to this." Reaching into her pocket, she withdrew a blood-splattered device Security Guard Grunt belatedly recognised as a phone. "Please look at this picture, Sir," she said politely, offering him the device through the bars.

"Good lord!" Security Guard Grunt, though agnostic, exclaimed upon seeing what she was showing him. "Is that…?"

"Indeed, it is."

"Heavens! My eyes are bleeding!" Security Guard Grunt wiped at his eyes, and was mildly reassured to see that it was only tears, not blood, that was leaking out of his orbital socket.

"I sympathise with you," the female half said, reaching through the slot in the security glass to pet his arm soothingly. When she withdrew her arm, she took her phone with her, slipping it back into her pocket. "So, what do you say, Sir? Can Kuroro and I proceed with killing the Commissioner now?"

"Ma'am, Sir." Security Guard Grunt shook his head in an attempt to dislodge that image from his mind. "I cannot claim to be averse to you removing that blight on humanity from the face of this Earth. However, I have to ask myself if I am in the position to judge the Commissioner for his preferences. After all, though such acts might be… hard to… find in… nature… or elsewhere… who am I to say it is an act deserving of death?"

Both of them blinked at him with identical expressions of shock on their faces.

"Goodness," the male half murmured, bringing his hand to his face in a gesture that, though small, somehow conveyed his utter amazement at Security Guard Grunt's statement. "Did you hear that, Midoya? He does not think there is anything truly wrong with that picture. I haven't seen it, but just being in its presence makes me feel like the Universe is in imbalance and chaos is not far behind. How is it possible that he… doesn't?"

"Indeed I did hear that, Kuroro," the female half replied, looking bemused. "Dear Sir, I verily believe that you are more sexually open than I am. This is the first time I've met someone who made me feel… _conservative_. Goodness Kuroro, I'm… no, oh goodness no, this is wrong. I don't like the feeling of being sexually conservative. It makes me feel like I need to take off the lace thong I am wearing now and put on a pair of granny panties instead. May I do extremely decadent and illegal sexual acts with you later to make up for this?"

"But of course, Midoya. Far be it for me to leave you suspended in this awkward stage of sexual conservatism. Besides, I must admit, your current choice in undergarments is to my benefit as they are very visually stimulation. Thus, I have no wish to see you change it for undergarments that are socially considered less sexy than your current one."

"Why, you are too kind, dear." The female half pursed her bloodied lips and gazed pensively at Security Guard Grunt. "However, the problem still remains."

"Indeed it does," the male half agreed, turning a similar gaze on Security Guard Grunt. "The problem definitely still remains."

For a moment, Security Guard Grunt believed that being pinned down by the combined glares of these two people of dubious sanity was the most uncomfortable sensation he had ever had to experience. That was until the two of them simultaneously drew knives and stuck them through the bulletproof glass he was sitting behind and sliced through the bars as if they were made of butter.

"Mghk," Security Guard Grunt commented as pieces of melted glass and steel bars fell onto his lap.

"Indeed," the male half said, tilting his head as if he were observing a mildly interesting animal trapped in a little glass box. "Now then, Sir, you have two options before you. You can open the barrier for us and let us through, following which we get to enter the compound quietly and you get to live. Or you can refuse to open the barrier, following which I will kill you and then Midoya and I will have to break into the headquarters in a very loud, noisy and generally inconvenient fashion." He smiled kindly. "I strongly advise you to choose the first option. You may have noticed that it is the one that leaves you alive."

"Oh Kuroro, you are so silly, threatening the poor man like this," the female half said, laughing. "How is he to know what you mean if you don't explain it? Death is such an abstract concept. None of us here have ever experienced it before after all. But _pain_, now that's different. You should talk about our blades tearing through his flesh, through muscle and bone. You should describe the sensation of bone breaking under our feet. You should have mentioned the part about us removing his internal organs one by one until his body expires from shock and blood loss. _That_ is a truly scary way to die. I would know. See here?" She tugged her blouse down slightly. Normally if a woman did that to him, Security Guard Grunt would have started drooling. In this case, he just started quaking. "I survived a Y-incision so I know _exactly_ where to cut to make it hurt." She smiled bashfully at him. "Not that I'm boasting, but I really do know how to hurt you. Really. And he does too. He _is_ Dancho of the Genei Ryodan. Torture is his middle name."

"No, it's not. Kuroro Torture Lucifer is a horrible name. Who would choose a name like that?"

"Really? I quite like it."

"Is that so? I'll have to give you a middle name too then, just to be fair."

"Don't you remember, dear? I already have one. My parents beat you to it."

"Oh. Right. That utterly boring name. Couldn't they have chosen something more exciting, like Beelzebub or Belial, instead of naming you after a month?"

"Beelzebub? You mean, Midoya Beelzebub Kito? Are you serious?"

"As serious as I am about disembowelling this young man unless he gives us a satisfactory answer."

Security Guard Grunt swallowed painfully when their attention returned to him. "A solution presents itself," he told them quickly. "My birth and growth to a young, strapping man as I am now is the result of an infinite number of possibilities. So many things could have gone wrong, each tiny misstep presenting a situation whereby my very birth would never have occured. That I am the result of so many sets of possibilities makes my existence a miracle in itself. Hence, I have to argue that it is immoral, irresponsible and downright wrong for me to take my existence so lightly." Licking his dry lips, he pressed the button that opened the barrier. "Do pass and kill the Commissioner at your own convenience."

"Thank you very much," the female half beamed. "Your intelligence shall be duly rewarded."

"Thank you," Security Guard Grunt said and then his natural curiosity drove him to ask, "What reward?"

The female half smiled. "I'm glad you asked."

The next thing he knew, a heavy fist smashed into his face, throwing him out the other end of the security post. He barely had a split second to think _'Why is this a reward?'_ before he lost consciousness. However, when he woke up two hours later and discovered the memories of the image he had seen had dissolved into a static of grey and black, he couldn't help thinking, _'Oh, I see. Thanks.'_

* * *

Right about the time Midoya and Kuroro were discussing the merits of walking into the police headquarters through the main lobby, Pepeka and the Ryodan members found themselves travelling on foot towards the headquarters.

It was not the mode of transport Pepeka would have preferred, but ten minutes spent trapped in the infamous York Shin traffic had been enough to convince him this was the only way. Every minute they wasted on the clogged-up streets meant every minute Kuroro and Sensei spent out there alone, facing the Zoldycks by their injured, bloodied selves. That thought had been enough to drive him into impatience. Besides, it was never a good idea to sit a bunch of cold-blooded murderers in the midst of hundreds of angry, violent drivers. It was just asking for a massacre to happen. Pepeka was only glad the Ryodan had been too concerned with finding their Dancho to truly take offense with the things being shouted at them. Except for that two dead guys back there, they had gotten away somewhat murder-free.

That wasn't to say the Ryodan members weren't angry as fuck as they pounded through the crowded streets of York Shin though.

"You should have let me kill the dude in the red car too!" Nobunaga snarled as they flew over the heads of startled pedestrians. "That dude fucking gave me the finger!"

"Not the time, Nobu," Machi said, though her heart obviously wasn't in it. The 'dude' had called her a very sexist and very bad name. "We don't need the cops after us when we're going to crash their headquarters." She smirked suddenly. "I took down his license plate number. We can always find him later when we have more time to make him suffer."

"That's what Dancho would say," Shizuku agreed, bouncing along merrily next to Pepeka. "Don't you agree?"

Pepeka blinked. "Uh, probably," he replied. "Kuroro's always cautious about the smallest details."

"You know Dancho so well," Shizuku said bluntly, "that's why you're his favourite Ryodan member."

Pepeka opened his mouth to correct her, but Machi interrupted by saying, "Forget it. She's not going to get it into her head that neither you nor Kito are members."

"But they _are_ Ryodan members!" Shizuku protested and Machi just nodded dismissively.

The idea that there was someone out there who believed that he, Blacklist Hunter Pepeka Timbal, was a Ryodan member was enough to make Pepeka want to cry with the injustice of it all. Because no matter how cool the Ryodan was, they were still _criminals_, damn it! He didn't mind being close to them, but he certainly didn't want to be one of them. There was no fucking way he was going to listen to everything Kuroro says. The thought of having his life in that bastard's hands was just… just…

"You look like you're constipated," Shizuku commented brightly and Pepeka groaned. "You should try drinking prune juice. Shal recommended it to me the last time I had constipation and it really helped me a lot. It takes maybe six hours for it to take effect, but once it does, it's like everything inside is unclogged. It's really good even if it tastes kind of pruny. Because it's prune juice I guess."

For a moment, Pepeka considered groaning again, but realised quickly no one here was going to show any sympathy for his over-taxed, abused self. So, he simply said, "Thank you. I'll try that." Since he didn't want his alleged constipation to dominate the conversation, he added, "Didn't Kuroro call just now? What did he say?"

"They're in the headquarters," Nobunaga replied testily, charging ahead.

"They managed to break into that fucking fortress?" Pepeka asked, impressed. "How?"

"Walked straight through the entrance." Nobunaga shot him an irritated look. "How else would they enter?"

Right. These people were as abnormal as Sensei; it would do to remember that because they were fucking insane and he was _running right next to them._ That was the proper recipe for disaster alright. "That's good news, isn't it?" he asked hopefully. "It means they are close to killing the Commissioner. No matter how hurt Sensei and Kuroro are, the part-time Hunters the police HQ hires wouldn't be any match for them."

"Yeah, that's true," Nobunaga said begrudgingly. "Doesn't mean we shouldn't try to catch up with them ASAP. Never know when they'll need someone to hold some dude down while they pull out his teeth."

"Didn't say we shouldn't," Pepeka protested. "I'm sure they could use some patching up. Kuroro mentioned something about bleeding to death."

"All in a day's work," Machi snorted and frowned.

"What's wrong?" Shizuku asked. "Are you constipated too, Machi?"

"No," Machi said, shaking her head. "I just have a bad feeling about this."

"No, no! Don't say it! You'll jinx us," Nobunaga groaned then contradicted himself by asking, "Why?"

"No idea. Just my instincts."

Right on cue, a loud piercing battle-cry filled the air, and several dark, leather-clad figures descended from the sky and surrounded them. The Ryodan screeched to a stop, turning their backs to each other so they could face the newly-arrived enemies.

"Hey Machi," Nobunaga grunted as he drew his sword. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I fucking hate your instincts."

"Blow me," Machi snapped testily.

"Not possible!" Nobunaga snapped back just as testily.

"Now, now," Shizuku scolded gently and the both of them subsided.

"I don't get it," Pepeka muttered as the figures closed in on them. "Who are these people? Are they working for the Commissioner? They sure as hell don't look like police officers."

"Only one way to find out," Machi said, drawing out a thin thread of Nen.

"We ask?" Shizuku beamed proudly.

"After breaking off their toes."

"Oh good," Shizuku said cheerily as the crowd suddenly surged towards them, "I really love breaking off toes."

* * *

It is often reported that beautiful people tend to succeed better at life than people of normal or inferior appearances. Such reports claim that physical beauty gives humans an 'aura' that leads to them being admired, trusted or loved more easily than others. Beautiful people, it is often assumed, are beautiful inside as well. This applied, Kuroro knew, not just to humans but to objects too. Kuroro also knew that this was entirely false. Appearances can be deceiving and Kuroro had never been aware more of it than that present moment as he crawled through the ventilation shafts of the police headquarters.

"Ah choo," Midoya sneezed from behind him. "Ugh, the shafts are horribly dusty."

To say that was a huge understatement. The ventilation shafts they were climbing through, it seemed, have never met a mop, a broom or a vacuum cleaner before. They were coated with a thick layer of dust sprinkled liberally with the remains of some kind of hard-shelled insect, probably cockroaches. Every now and then, a live ant or cockroach or (god forbid) a spider would scurry past. Rats were present in abundance. Everywhere they went, they left traces of their passing in the form of fur, footprints and faeces. It was as squalid a ventilation shaft as Kuroro had ever met, and that came from a man who hailed from the trash city of Meteor City where 'cleaning' meant waiting for the infrequent rains to wash the blood and innards away, and where vacuum cleaners were something of an urban legend.

"You would have thought with such a sleek, modern building, they would have spent the money on maintenance," Kuroro noted, his nose already a little itchy from the dust.

"Agreed, dear," Midoya said then giggled. "It's funny talking to your behind," she added, as she crawled behind him.

"I did ask if you want to take the front," Kuroro pointed out wryly.

"Yes, but I detest rats, so I deliberately allowed you to go first so you can clear the path ahead for me. Besides, I quite enjoy the view from behind so it was definitely to my benefit if you take the lead." Midoya paused. "I'm not sure I like your policy of honest dishonesty," she admitted. "You're going to learn all my secrets this way. No one has ever known up till now that I'm quite… phobic of rats."

Her voice didn't sound embarrassed, but Kuroro was certain that if there had been enough space for him to turn around so he could see her face, she would _look _embarrassed. He badly wanted to turn around, but there was hardly enough space for him to breathe deeply, let alone twist his torso so he could face the back. So he settled for remembering the one and only time in his life he had ever seen her blush. "I, on the other hand, am enjoying it thoroughly," he said, keeping his tone solemn. "But rest assured, Midoya; I am not mean enough to force you to spill all your secrets. In fact, at the moment, I am quite happy with knowing you couldn't ride a bicycle till a few hours ago and that you are afraid of rats."

"Oh _you_," Midoya grumbled. "Well I know you find spiders gross. Why aren't you embarrassed by that?"

"Because I am shameless, my dear," Kuroro replied frankly. "Unlike you, Ms Kito, I have no need to maintain a facade of noble stoicism. I can afford to admit fearing certain things, like spiders and sweaty obese men, and liking certain things, like killing people and bondage sex. You, on the other hand, must never let anyone know you _scream_ at the sight of rats. Oh wait, you _have_ let me find out. Oops, too bad. Never thought I would ever hear you scream like that, dear. It was shrill and loud and exactly like a moronic blonde cheerleader being hunted down by a deranged serial killer with a bad sense of fashion."

Midoya groaned. "You are never going to let me live that down, are you?" she muttered, and this time he could hear the sheer mortification in her voice.

"Nope," Kuroro replied sunnily and she gave a disgruntled huff. "Consider it revenge for the Infinity Gem episode."

"Well," Midoya said after a grudging pause, "considering that this is coming from the infamously vindictive Genei Ryodan, I should consider myself lucky. At least a little humiliation wouldn't cost me a fortune in cement and taxes."

"You should, dear. I give out mercy very, _very_ sparingly."

"Ah, I should try to collect an entire set then. It will sell well on the black market."

"I believe one instance of mercy granted by me _is_ a collector's item," Kuroro replied then stopped when something caught his attention. He felt Midoya crawl right into him with a muffled _oof_, but she stopped as well without question, becoming, he knew, unnaturally still in the darkness while she tried to figure out the reason for his sudden lack of motion.

The voices coming from below must have answered her question because Kuroro felt her turn her attention towards the conversation being held below them.

"_I still can't believe the Commissioner called us back for guard duty, man. Seriously, it's my day off today." _

"_Yeah, tell me about it. I was supposed to be babysitting my little girl. My wife's practically up in arms that she had to leave her meeting early to pick up Susie. Her boss gave her some major shit for it."_

"_Oh man. You're sleeping on the couch tonight." _

"_Don't remind me. Seriously, dude, do you even know what we're doing here?"_

"_No, I was hoping you would. I mean we got called back at the last minute so I thought it was an emergency, but no one's telling us anything. You would think we would have gotten a clearer briefing if it was urgent." _

"_I thought the same at first but now I'm not so sure. Is this even an emergency? Nothing's been happening all night." _

"_Damn if I know." _

The conversation died off below them, and Kuroro deemed further eavesdropping a pointless activity. So, as quietly as he could, he continued crawling. Behind him, he felt rather than heard Midoya join him. At this point, Kuroro needed to discuss the situation with her, so at the next opening they came across, he kicked the grill off and slid out of the ventilation shaft. A quick look around told him that he was now in an empty office, which suited his purposes just fine.

Beside him, Midoya dropped soundlessly onto the floor. "Well, that was an interesting conversation we just heard," she murmured, straightening up and brushing her sleeves, now brown and stiff with blood. "At least I assume you found it interesting since you seem to want to discuss it."

"Interesting in its implications," Kuroro agreed as they retreated behind the desk where they would be less visible to someone glancing in through the office door. "Midoya, does the Commissioner know exactly how powerful you are?"

Midoya paused in her doomed effort to brush dead insects off her pants and stared at him. "What do you mean?" she asked cautiously.

"Is he aware you could summon an army of mafia thugs to your aid if you so wish?" Kuroro clarified. "Or does he know about your other job as a blacklist hunter? Does he know about Nen?"

"Ah." Midoya pursed her lips in thought. "He definitely knows that as the powerful head of the Kito estate, I can summon an army with a single phone call," she admitted. "I am unsure if he knows about my Hunter position or the existence of Nen. I would be tempted to say 'no', given that the Commissioner I know isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the room. On the other hand, if you'd told me yesterday that well… that _ass-kisser_ would have tried to kill me, I wouldn't have believed you at all. Not to be crude, but sometimes I can't help thinking that I must have dents in my bottom from the number of times he has kissed it. He is that much of a suck-up."

"Then his reaction is definitely interesting," Kuroro concluded. "He is aware that at any moment, an army of immoral, violent mafia mercenaries could be converging on his position, yet he does not tell the guards to be prepared? Yes, the security here is tight, but from what you said, not more so than usual. Is he hedging all his bets on the Zoldycks killing you before you can react or does he have another card up his sleeve?"

"Well, one is the panic room in the basement of the headquarters," Midoya pointed out. "It could withstand an army for a month. We have already agreed he is there."

"Yes, but does he truly intend to be stuck in a death trap for a month? What if we decide to torch the entire building?" Kuroro argued. "Surely he isn't stupid enough to think a glorified cave and two assassins are enough to get rid of you?"

For a moment, Midoya looked like she was going to protest, but then she frowned. "I think you might be overestimating the Commissioner's intellect," she said slowly. "Yes, he knows I'm powerful, but ultimately, he is a civilian and has never seen me demonstrate that power before. He might not realise how weak his defences are. I wouldn't say you are wrong though. It is possible something else is happening that we don't know about yet. The reason I say this is because there is something else about this situation which bothers me."

"What?"

"Why he attacked me in the first place." The frown between Midoya's brows deepened. "I understand that your first attack on the _Rose Petal_ provided him with a cover to do so with some degree of impunity, but honestly… Kuroro, I don't know if you've met that man; he is the most cowardly, spineless and incompetent man I've ever met. He is the type who depends on others to help him succeed, and he is more likely to try to suck up to you than threaten you. Given what I know of the man, even if he had realised your bombing of my brothel could give him the opportunity to attack me, he wouldn't have taken it because he will keep thinking about what would happen if he fails."

Kuroro mused about that for a second. "So?" he asked. "What is your conclusion?"

"There must have been a catalyst for the event," she said. "Something must have given him the push. I know it wasn't me since I've been implicitly blackmailing him for years. Something else must have happened… and that something might be related to your feeling that the Commissioner's current actions seem quite off."

"Ah," Kuroro said thoughtfully. "So, our plan remains the same."

"Break into the panic room and torture the answer out of him," Midoya agreed.

Kuroro smiled at the look of malicious glee on her face. "I assume that will be a difficult endeavour," he mused. "A panic room built to your instructions would no doubt be an impenetrable fortress, defended by the latest in military and Nen technologies. Do you have a plan, dear? You should know best what the weaknesses of your own security systems are."

"Oh yes," Midoya said, and a mischievous smile spread across her face. "I do have a plan, a naughty, devious, _evil_ scheme that will shock you into silence."

"Really? Shock me? The Dancho of the Genei Ryodan and the official criminal mastermind here?" Kuroro raised a challenging eyebrow at her. "Try me."

"Well," Midoya purred, sliding her palm down the blood-soaked front of his shirt, "first, we're going to crawl _sneakily_ through these foul ventilation shafts as far down as we can go. We will probably end up in Basement Level Three, which is one floor above the panic room in Basement Level Four. That will bring us as close to the panic room as possible without us running into any guards."

"Mmm, a good ploy. Do continue."

"Yes, dear." Eyelashes lowered, Midoya ran a finger up his throat. "Then, we're going to exit the ventilation shaft and make our way down to Basement Level Four, following which we will face a corridor protected by Nen beams. They are like infra-red beams, only instead of sounding an alarm when you touch them, they will rip you to pieces. However, with your nifty teleportation skills, we should be able to teleport through. If we do it swiftly enough, with our level of Nen defence, we should be able to make it through relatively unharmed."

"Ah, is that all? I am starting to feel disappointed."

"Patience, patience," Midoya scolded as her hips rolled against his. "Now, here is the part where we need to be super scheming and tricksy. At the end of the corridor, what we will find is a heavy metal door made entirely of titanium. It is three feet thick and reinforced with Nen. There will be a retina-scanner, a voice-recognition lock, a fingerprint-scanner and a Nen-scanner that recognises the distinctive auras of individuals. Since neither you nor I are registered in the security database, you can imagine that we wouldn't be able to enter the room that way."

"Ah, the plot thickens. And what is your super scheming and tricksy scheme to overcome all that?"

"Well, given how difficult, no… how _impossible_ the security system is to break into, I have come up with the most devious and _wicked_ scheme of all," Midoya purred, smiling, "and that is to open the door using the master key in my possession. Surprise!" Giggling, she drew him down into a deep, bloody kiss.

That was just as well, Kuroro mused, since he didn't have anything to say anyway, having been shocked into silence.

* * *

Following their conversation in the empty office, Kuroro and Midoya moved back into the ventilation shaft as planned. Swiftly and silently, they crawled through the shafts, exiting only when the shaft they were in dead-ended or when they needed to discuss something.

At one point, Kuroro, struck by a sudden idea, brought them into an empty office. There, he proposed telling Midoya's fortune using the _Lovely Ghostwriter_. It might, he explained, give them the answers to the questions they had regarding the Commissioner's motives for attacking Midoya. Since he was, unlike a certain mafia don, not demanding a small fortune for the prophecy, Midoya consented to it.

"Hmm," Kuroro murmured as the both of them peered at the prophecy produced. "Does that line mean what I think it means?"

"That one of us is pregnant?" Midoya asked. "Looks like it."

"I thought so." Kuroro nodded sagely. "You have been having sex with other men, right?" he asked hopefully.

"No dear, I haven't. Besides, I am very certain that I am not pregnant at the moment at least."

"Oh." The both of them stared at the prophecy a while more before Kuroro commented, "We probably got that wrong then given that it should be impossible for either of us to get pregnant."

"I do hope so. I've rather not question your ah… biology after we've had sex so many times."

"You wouldn't like to question my biology? How do you think _I_ feel?"

Keeping the prophecy back in his coat pocket for future references, they had gone back into the shafts. This time, they made it all the way to Basement Level Three as originally planned. From then on, Kuroro saw, the shafts became too small for anyone to crawl through, hence preventing intruders from sneaking into the protected vault through them.

"That shaft makes me feel fat," Midoya murmured jokingly when they had exited the ventilation system.

"You would need to be the size of a ferret to fit through that," Kuroro pointed out reasonably and Midoya laughed wickedly.

"That shaft made you feel fat too, right?" she teased.

"Very. Not being able to fit through holes less than half a foot wide always gives me _body-image problems_," Kuroro replied with a mock pout. "I've always hated my ample child-birthing hips."

Chuckling, Midoya pushed the door of the office opened and stuck her head out. "Corridor's clear," she murmured. "My, this reminds me of that time we broke into the Hunter Association York Shin HQ. All the corridors, empty offices and inefficient guards do bring back memories."

"Indeed they do," Kuroro agreed softly, following behind her as she crept out into the corridor. "Crawling through the ventilation shaft made me feel more like a _Juwasi_ than anything else though."

"Dear, you're too pretty to be a man-eating mutated ant."

"Why thank you. I believe you don't resemble one of those foul beasts in any way whatsoever either."

"I notice you didn't exactly tell me I'm 'pretty' too."

"I thought we had a policy of honest dishonesty here? You wouldn't call yourself 'pretty' either."

"Well, yes, that is true. On the other hand, you didn't correct me when I said you're 'pretty'. Does that mean you think you are?"

"As pretty as a princess," Kuroro replied good-humouredly and Midoya snorted laughter which she smothered with her hand.

"You are being silly today," she said fondly.

"It's just the blood loss."

"Mmm. We should finish this soon then, before your wonderful criminal brain is damaged permanently by desanguination."

"An excellent suggestion. I am rather fond of my wonderful criminal brain after all."

Silence fell over them as they crept forward together, staying close to the walls. The hallways remained quiet save for the hum of electricity within the walls. In fact, it was so still Kuroro was lulled into a false sense of security, so much so that when they turned around a corner and walked into a guard, he was genuinely startled. Fortunately, Midoya had been a little more alert than him and she slit the guard's throat before he could even voice a protest.

"Oh look, Kuroro, we are almost there," she said, oblivious to his daydreaming. "Look."

Creeping past the still form on the floor, Kuroro peeked over Midoya's shoulder. "Ah," he said when he saw what she was referring to, "the staircase to Basement Level Four."

"Clever guess," Midoya murmured, and it was then the easy matter of walking down the stairs before they were in Basement Level Four.

Even if Kuroro had walked into this building without the knowledge that there was a panic room in the lowest floor, he would have realised by now that Basement Level Four was no ordinary floor. While the other floors were lined with dozens upon dozens of offices, empty at this time of night, this corridor was a plain, room-less one with metal walls, perhaps ten metres long. Midoya had warned him that the entire corridor was protected by Nen-beams, but he couldn't see anything until he used _Gyo_.

"You want me to teleport us through _that_?" he demanded. "If I miss the mark even by a little, we're going to end up quite dead."

"Yes, but you wouldn't, dear." Midoya smiled at him, producing dimples that she knew that he knows are fake. "Aren't you my powerful, brilliant, Dancho of the Genei Ryodan? Surely you can do something as simple as teleport us from here to there."

Kuroro sighed and summoned his book. "If we end up being bisected by those beams, I will blame you," he warned and teleported them over.

"And what do you owe me now that we've succeeded?" Midoya asked casually as they stood before the heavy metal door.

"Success itself is enough reward, I feel," Kuroro pointed out and she laughed.

"Stingy, stingy. Now, give me some space so I can do the tricksy part of this scheme."

"Please, go ahead," Kuroro told her, and politely stepped out of the way. As he edged as close to the Nen-beams as he dared in a bid to get out of her way, his phone rang. "Kuroro," he said, picking up the phone.

"_Dancho! Hey! Good to hear from you!"_ Nobunaga's voice greeted. _"I've got news for you." _

"Yes?"

"_Just a warning. You've got to watch out. That Commissioner has more than the Zoldycks running after you." _

"Oh?" Kuroro peered behind his shoulder, but couldn't see what Midoya was doing. "Who else is after me?"

"_Um… we're not sure what to call them and by the time we were done, none of them were uh… coherent enough to be questioned, so Machi suggested the 'Leather Army'."_

"Leather?" Behind him, something clicked and the door swung open. "Why leather?"

"_Because…" _

An intricate and complicated looking key dropped from Midoya's hands and clattered on the floor loudly. Her hands, free now, flew to her face where she clapped them over her eyes like a little girl watching a horror movie. "Oh, the horror!" she exclaimed, sounding uncharacteristically disturbed. "My eyes are bleeding!"

"_We were just attacked by a squad of dominatrix." _

* * *

A/N: Yeah, well. I did say that this story is going to become a little silly. Just a little. Maybe a tiny bit more than a little. Somewhat. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and please leave a review if you have the time.

Trivial: The police headquarters in York Shin was not the only public building Midoya had built. Since designing and building her first brothel at the age of eleven, Midoya June Kito had discovered that a passion for making _stuff_. While other little girls had their dolls and Lego blocks, the Kito heiress had her whores and buildings, and she took great delight in them. Hence, she started on a life-long project to build as many buildings as she could. Most of the time, the city was fine with that as she stuck mainly to building brothels, which drew in good money for the city. However, when Midoya started venturing into constructing public buildings, it became a bit of a problem. Building the police headquarters was fine, since York Shin needed one to look like a _proper_ city. But then she moved on to building the city hall, the hospital and the morgue, which again, wouldn't have been a problem if these buildings didn't already exist.

"Why would we need _two_ city halls?" the mayor had asked despairingly at the site of City Hall B.

"Why not?" a fifteen year old Midoya asked, surprised.

"Because we only have _one_ _government_!" the mayor cried.

"Oh," Midoya said. "Good point."

"R… really?" the mayor had asked, pleasantly surprised. "I'm glad you agree."

"No problem," Midoya beamed, "just give me two weeks to tear down the old building, will you?"

All government activities were suspended for two whole weeks, patients in intensive care were moved out of the hospital, and dead bodies were stored in ambulances by confused medics, but, as the newspapers would report, it was all worth it. After all, the new buildings were gorgeous man-made marvels with innovative and environmentally-friendly designs. Also, Midoya was holding a gun to the journalist's head while he wrote the paper, but that certainly didn't change the fact that the lobby of the morgue was an edgy, modern fusion of baroque and fantasy, complete with obese fairies, elves and giant, opulent man-eating flowers.

Given her passion for building things, it would hardly come as a surprise to those who know her that the moment she laid eyes on the ruins that is Meteor City, she had wanted to build something there.

But Kuroro was having none of that. "Meteor City isn't like York Shin," he had tried to explain while she sucked his earlobe. "No one is going to appreciate you building a _brand new_ building with cutting-edge eco-friendly air-conditioning. They'll tear it down and probably attempt to assassinate you. Don't do it."

"Not even if I build an archive filled with books?" Midoya asked, innocently running her palms down the front of his bare torso. "I have so many first editions of great works and ancient tomes lying around… and nowhere to store them… after all. It will be quite nice placing them somewhere you have access to. I mean… you like taking care of them, right? Reading them… arranging them… _touching_ them."

Kuroro's widened then glazed over. "Well…" he mumbled as he buried his face into her neck, "I guess there's no harm trying. I mean, it's not like it's that easy to assassinate you…"

Two weeks later, the Meteor City Literary Archive was up and running. The entire building was made from recycled concrete and salvaged soda cans. Standing five stories high, it resembled both the great Roman Colosseum in that it was circular, and a giant pile of dung in that the centre of the building was a collapsed heap of reclaimed sand, shattered glass and actual dung. It was, in Kuroro's opinion, possibly the ugliest building he had ever seen in his life. Needless to say, it drew an extreme reaction from the residents of Meteor City.

The day the Archive was built, thirty men were sent out from Meteor City to York Shin. They travelled to Midoya's penthouse and broke into it. There, they threw themselves at her feet and vowed to be her soldiers for the rest of their lives simply because, as they shouted, "We loved your building so much! It is _so_ us!" The following day, the Elders turned up bearing gifts of Roasted Rat and Hand-made Dolls made from Dried and Preserved Dead Birds in a bid to get Midoya to build another one of those "fascinating tall huts". When Midoya returned to Meteor City to survey a few sites for the construction of the Meteor City Gallery of Dead Art, the residents lifted her on their shoulders and paraded her through the trash piles and dead bodies shouting, "Long live Lady Midoya!" There was even a prominent if short-lived campaign to make Midoya Kito a honourary Meteor City resident and possibly, one of the Elders.

Watching a puzzled if flattered Midoya being passed from one resident to another, Kuroro couldn't help thinking that if any outsider could conquer and rule Meteor City, Midoya June Kito would be that person and she would do so _without even realising what she was doing_.


	8. The Truth Revealed

**A/N:** The sequel to "A Series of Very Criminal Activities".

This is a very weird and… crazy story. It's not much of an action story (though of course with the Ryodan involved, you can't avoid all the violence and gore etc entirely). The Ryodan wouldn't appear much either, because it is a romance story and the Ryodan isn't very romantic in my opinion, so for those who wanted to see more of the Ryodan, I apologise.

And… I have nothing else to say but this: please forgive me, I knew not what I have done.

Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me.

* * *

The Truth Revealed

Leather, as anyone in the business will tell you, is usually the uniform of choice for Hunters, criminals and other violent types alike. Not only is it somewhat waterproof, it also provides protection against the wind, the cold and almost anything else Mother Nature can sling at a person. As a tough and relatively resilient material, it also offers some protection against cuts, scrapes and other minor injuries that are the norm in the life of an assassin or murderer. Furthermore, if subterfuge is needed, leather wouldn't look out of place when worn amongst civilians, as compared to say, a full medieval armoured suit, which while good for avoiding cuts and bruises, was not something you would want to wear while _undercover_. Besides, leather is one of those timeless fabrics that look good and is always somewhat fashionable, which is a plus for any self-respecting criminal trying to build a proper reputation.

However, in his entire long and violent career as a thief, murderer, arsonist, torturer and general sociopath, Nobunaga had never ever seen any proper, serious criminal wear leather _that way_.

"Sweet Jesus, Mother of Christ," he muttered. "Are you all seeing _this_?"

"Sure I am," Machi replied wryly, "all fifty of them."

Which was absolutely correct. Though there was no one identical uniform these… _people_ wore, there were certain characteristics that all their outfits shared: tight, restricting and… minimal, so much so that their outfits didn't seem to provide any of the usual benefits of leather clothing at all. In fact, Nobunaga thought, while he steadfastly avoided making eye contact as he slashed at them, their clothing was so minimal they could hardly be _called_ clothing at all. They didn't even begin to cover the areas of a human being that should be covered in polite society. If anything, they seemed to _emphasise_ certainareas of the human body that shouldn't be shown in public.

"Uh… fuck…?" Nobunaga cursed hesitantly as he avoided barely-clad-in-leather figures, swinging whips and riding crops at him. "What the hell is going on?"

"Hell if I know," Machi replied casually as she leapt away from a huge, muscular man wielding a whip and wearing what looked like a leather bib and nothing else. With a casual flick of her fingers, she removed his head, spraying blood onto the concrete pavements of York Shin City.

It wasn't necessarily that the people attacking them were particularly powerful; as far as he could see, only about half of them seemed to know any Nen (not that _knowing _Nen meant _being good at _Nen). They did wield their weapons of choice with a great deal of familiarity, but they didn't seem any good at actually hitting a moving target, much less tracking the supersonic speeds the Ryodan moved at. Still, it wasn't this distinct lack of fighting capability that disturbed Nobunaga though. No, it was how they were being attacked, quite inexplicably by largely naked people with piercings in very painful-looking places that was making him feel extremely uncomfortable and somewhat disorientated. It made him wish that Dancho was here to explain things to him. He was sure Dancho could make sense of this surreal situation and once things made sense he could stop feeling so weird and just focus on killing these _freaks_.

As Nobunaga dodged under another poorly swung riding crop, Machi leapt over his head and removed the head of the person attacking him with a flick of her Nen threads. "Just ignore the boobs. None of the ones here are actually real anyway," she advised and disappeared.

"Fuck you," Nobunaga growled but did his best to follow her advice anyway because it was good advice and Nobunaga was not so insecure in his prowess that he couldn't take good advice when it was given. After all, Machi _was_ having a much easier time since she didn't seem to have any difficulty ignoring the ripped male torsos lumbering around them. If he didn't know she was straight (mostly straight, he corrected in his head, since Dancho had mentioned something about everyone being bisexual to a certain degree or something like that and Dancho is always right), he would have become somewhat suspicious. Speaking of which, he wasn't even sure what Shizuku's sexuality was.

In between dodging a whip and cutting three people in half, Nobunaga snuck a glance at Shizuku. Her face was totally blank save for the hard gleam of concentration in her eyes as she darted among the sweating, straining, largely-naked bodies, systematically bringing her vacuum cleaner down on the heads bobbing around her. Still no idea what her sexuality was, but at least she wasn't having any problem there - or at least, less problem than Pepeka Timbal.

Even though there were ten heavily pierced figures descending on him, Nobunaga had time to spare the young blacklist hunter a pitying look before he counter-attacked.

It wasn't that Timbal was not as powerful as the people attacking them. No matter what, Timbal was still a graduate of Kito's, and Nobunaga knew that women well enough by now to know that no lesson of hers would ever be described as 'easy' or 'painless', and no disciple of hers will graduate with anything less than the best of skills. So no, needless to say, Timbal was a much better fighter than all the weird, leather-wearing people attacking them. At least he would be if the poor boy wasn't so shy about _touching_ the people, much less fighting them.

"Eek," Timbal protested ceaselessly as he jumped about like a startled mouse. "No. Good lord. Argh." And Nobunaga cringed

Torn between his need to handle his share of the fight and the desperate desire to _not_ touch so many naked bodies, Timbal ended up simply meekly avoiding blows instead of counter-attacking. Face red, eyes on the ground, he weaved left and right, dodging attacks with his hands held firmly at his side. That meant that though he wasn't getting hurt, he certainly wasn't _killing_ anyone, which was just counter-productive in Nobunaga's expert opinion.

"You know, Timbal," Machi called, "in a fight, it helps if you actually _fight_ back. That's what makes a 'fight' a _fight_."

"I know! I'm _trying_!" Timbal shouted back, utter misery written over his face.

"Well, try harder!" Machi snapped.

That seemed to snap Timbal out of his daze (powerful women seemed to have that effect on that boy), and he hit a couple of people, breaking bones as he did. It was a vast improvement from his previous state, even if he kept muttering embarrassed apologies as he hit them.

A particularly buxom leather-clad figure leapt at Timbal, swinging a whip at him and Timbal dodged, barely missing being hit by a pair of very nice and very exposed breasts. Very fake too, if Machi was right, but that certainly didn't stop Pepeka Timbal from being embarrassed. "Holy crap, put on a jacket!" he spluttered, his face beet red. "That's obscene!"

Like one organism, all the fighting grounded to a sudden stop and the group (those that were still alive and standing, at least) formed a circle with the Ryodan in the middle. Someone in the crowd of leather-minimalists laughed and stepped forward to meet them. Nobunaga's eyes flicked to meet hers then looked away immediately. That someone turned out to be a tall, slender, woman wearing a mess of dark auburn curls, chains wrapped around her chest, straps of leather at her wrists and ankles, a whip, and nothing else. It was just freaky to look at. "What an adorable reaction," she said, a feline smile on her face. "What's your name, boy?"

"What, you don't know who I am?" Pepeka demanded. "Why the fuck were you following us if you don't even know who we are?"

Instead of replying, the woman eyes narrowed like a cat and she licked her lips. "Definitely a Submissive," she commented in a throaty purr and the whole group tittered as one.

"What?" Pepeka demanded, looking startled. "I'm a what?"

The woman laughed again and the whole group joined her. It was like listening to a choir of hyenas; evil, naked hyenas carrying sharp, pointy things. "Do you know what the fundamental truth of this world is?" she asked, starting to pace around the circle of leather-clad people.

"Dancho's orders are absolute?" Shizuku hazarded.

"Dancho is the smartest person in the world?" Nobunaga guessed.

"Shalnark will never find a girlfriend?" Machi muttered.

"My sensei is fucking awesome?" Timbal replied loyally.

"No, no, no and no," the woman replied, looking entirely unfazed. "The fundamental truth is that you can divide all the people in this world into Dominants" she pointed to herself, "and Submissives." The finger jabbed in their direction like an arrow.

Four pairs of eyes widened dramatically with varying degrees of disbelief and rage.

"What?" Machi snapped, looking insulted. "Are you saying we are Subs? Are you seriously saying we are _Subs_?"

"No fucking way. You can't be that stupid," Nobunaga snarled.

"Why are we Subs?" Shizuku asked, looking around blankly. "What are Subs anyway?"

"Aren't you?" the woman laughed. "Here; watch." Roughly, she gripped the collar of the man next to her and snapped, "Kneel!" Immediately, the man dropped to his knees, his exposed chest turning as red as his face. The woman smiled and stroked the man's head tenderly. "See?" she purred. "This is what a good sub does. The Dom gives the command, and the Sub obeys." She kicked the man violently and he fell on all fours with a startled groan. "Is that not what you do?" she asked innocently, sitting down on the man's back and crossing her legs demurely. "Genei Ryodan?"

"Oh my god," Nobunaga breathed. "Are you suggesting that Dancho is our Dom and we are his Subs? Why the fuck would you say that?"

"His orders are absolute, no?" the woman smiled, running the handle of her whip down the length of the man beneath her.

The image of a smirking Dancho sitting on their naked, chained bodies and violating their personal space with whips and other pointy, steel objects sprang immediately to mind, and Nobunaga frantically screamed, "You are wrong! You are absolutely wrong! He does not put us in leather collars and chains! Dancho isn't anything like that! He doesn't… he isn't…! Dancho is… a _baby_!"

"Collars and chains." The woman snorted derisively. "Those are just outward manifestations of control. Physical embodiments of power and dominance." She smirked. "The real collars and chains are in the mind, _Sub_. A real expert can dominate you without you realising what he has done." Her smirk widened. "Just like your Dancho."

"Stupid and wrong!" Nobunaga shouted. "You are stupid and you are _wrong_!"

"I don't know," Shizuku said doubtfully. "She does have a point…"

"She does not! She fucking does not, Shizuku!"

"What the fuck does this have to do with anything?" Machi interrupted, eyes narrowed as she glared at the smirking woman.

"And I thought you would have figured out by now." Her lips twisted in a disapproving pout. "It's easy, Sub. You want to know how we know the Ryodan is assisting June Kito? We just need to see what the Dom is doing. If the Dom's goal is to protect June Kito, the Subs will naturally follow." The woman tapped her whip against the man below her meaningfully.

"In other words," Machi sighed, rolling her eyes, "the Zoldycks told you Dancho was with Kito, and since the Ryodan seldom works alone, they also told you that we are in town and asked you to delay us so they can finish assassinating Dancho and Kito. Jeez, couldn't you just have said that in the first place?"

The whip snapped down violently against the man on all fours and he screamed. "How dare you suggest I am taking orders from someone other than my Master!" she shouted angrily. "I am _loyal_ to my Master!"

"Master? You have a Master? I thought you're a Dom? Some Dom you are," Nobunaga sneered.

"Every Dom is a Sub to a more powerful Dom," the woman said, eyes blazing. "You should know, little Sub. You have a powerful Dom. You should know the pleasure of _submitting_."

No one in their right mind ever wanted to hear the way the woman said that last word. It was like listening to Hannibal Lector talk about _chianti_ and livers with a reference to cat intestines and elephant faeces as side-dishes. Even more disturbing was the way her now-surging Nen _smelled like that_.

"Hey, we actually got a decent fighter here," Machi commented without much enthusiasm. Nobunaga did not blame her. Even Meteor City residents would find that combination of intestines, shit and used sex toys gross.

"I still don't understand what the fuck is going on," Pepeka grumbled. "What's all this shit about Doms and Subs? I don't get it."

"Me neither!" Shizuku chirped. "We have so much in common, Pepeka. It's like we were born to be soul mates." Nobunaga's eyebrows went up and Machi's eyes darted over incredulously.

"Yeah, that's cool," Pepeka replied obliviously and both Nobunaga and Machi snorted in unison.

"But anyway, we get what's going on now," Nobunaga growled. "The Commissioner hired the Zoldycks to kill us, and sent you to stop us from reaching Dancho, and you obeyed just like the good little slave that you are, right?"

"The _Commissioner_," the woman tittered and the whole group joined her again. "You must be joking, little Sub. That _worm_ is no Master of mine."

The Spiders exchanged looks. "The Commissioner didn't get you to do this?" Pepeka demanded.

"Of course not. That man is a Sub through and through; the lowest of life forms. I wouldn't listen to scum like him."

"Alright, if he didn't…" Nobunaga said slowly.

"Then who did?" Machi asked.

* * *

Night had fallen some hours ago and the moon cast a faint glow in the room. Even with candles lining the walls, the room was still dim. Some sort of perfume hung in the air, not pleasant, but heavy, like a poisonous miasma that had seeped out from a swamp. A bed lay in one corner, single-sized, and covered with a quilt filled with cartoon characters. The chair he was sitting on was layered with soft, high-quality cushions; it also had dolls and baby faces printed on it. It made him feel sleepy and that will not do, not tonight at least, when the hunt was on.

Slowly, luxuriously, Hisoka stretched, feeling the joints in his shoulders crack in a series of satisfying pops. A flash of light caught his attention and he found himself staring at his reflection in a mirror. Grinning, he surveyed his face smugly, taking in his perfectly chiselled features and the tattoos on his face that had so recently been insulted by the lovely Midoya Kito. Thinking of her reminded him of the fight they had, and his eyes went to his body, which was still largely covered with gauze and bandages. With a casual flick of his finger, he removed one of the smaller gauze pieces and stared intently at the thin cut that marred his skin. As if in a dream, he touched the cut with a nail and pressed – hard. The sweet sensation of pain followed by the spurt of fresh blood made him shudder.

The door behind him opened and his new plaything walked in. Calm eyes flickered towards him and a smile spread across that delicious, mask-like face. "You are slightly obsessed with her, aren't you?" his toy commented, looking amused.

Hisoka cackled. "Oh, and you aren't?" he purred, licking his skin where his blood had seeped through. "You talk about her, think about her, _dream_ about her. _You_ tell me you aren't obsessed with her."

His toy smiled and murmured, "We are kindred spirits in that aspect, Hisoka, some of the handful of people in this world who truly appreciate her for who she is."

"For now at least," Hisoka said and sucked blood off his fingers. "I may get entirely bored with her in a few hours. My attention span is terribly short after all, so who knows?"

"Who knows indeed," his toy said and sat down on the bed. "You will want to wipe that up and maybe wash it with antiseptic. You don't want to get an infection now of all times."

"Later," Hisoka said dismissively. "I want to watch it for a while. Look. Look at it. She made it, you know? Midoya made it. Look at how lovely the wound is, so clean and precise, as if she had cut me with a scalpel instead of Nen. It is so _beautiful_."

"It is," his toy agreed, eyelids half-closing. "It's just like her, isn't it? Elegant, powerful… what was that word you used… precise. Yes, she is exactly like it. Precise and elegant almost to a fault. That's why she is so fascinating."

"Oh, I can think of many reasons why she is fascinating," Hisoka murmured. "Plenty of reasons that have little to do with elegance and more to do with heat, wild, organic _heat_." He licked his lips and giggled as more blood welled out from the cut.

For a moment, they regarded each other in near silence. Then with barely restrained anticipation, Hisoka whispered, "It is time now, isn't it?"

"Ah." The eyes flickered to the clock just as the minute hand hit the hour. "Yes Hisoka," his toy said, standing up with a wide smile, "it is time."

* * *

"_Hello Dancho? Can you hear me? Did you hear what I just said? Dancho? Hello?"_

Nobunaga was still on the phone but Kuroro wasn't paying attention anymore. It wasn't a connection problem, nor was it the Dancho of the Genei Ryodan dismissing his subordinates report as irrelevant. Kuroro's ignoring of an increasingly frantic Nobunaga was due to the presence of another issue at hand. That problem was Midoya, his newly-reacquired lover who was, in most normal circumstances, a woman of unshakable courage and brilliant, peerless fighting skills. At that moment however, instead of facing the enemy and preparing for battle as was what the situation required, she had her hands cupped over her eyes and her body turned away from the room, and was muttering repeatedly, "I didn't see that. I didn't see that." If she had been a lesser person, Kuroro would have thought her a coward, a freak or someone who's probably _not quite there_. As this was _Midoya_ he was seeing shaking like she was about to throw up, the sight before him came through as a warning, a warning that said though he couldn't see what was in the room from where he was, he _probably shouldn't want to. _

"I heard you, Nobu," Kuroro said finally. "Things are happening now. I will get back to you later."

"_Alright,"_ Nobunaga replied, sounding relieved.

Still, even if she had a good reason for reacting that way, Kuroro decided as he hung up on Nobunaga, it probably wasn't good to let Midoya carry on as she was doing now. It is extremely hard to fight an enemy when both your hands are pressed to your eyes after all. On the other hand, Kuroro had never seen Midoya look so appalled before, so he wasn't quite sure what to do. Should he grab her by the shoulders and shake or, or slap her face till she returned to being the cool, unflappable Midoya that he knew? Maybe he should shoot her with a jolt of bracing Nen? He had a feeling that doing so would only piss her off and he was reluctant to do so just yet. So in the end, he decided to just ask.

"Dear?" he questioned tentatively. "Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not," she replied, genuine horror in her voice. "I am shocked, disgusted, appalled, and tempted to don nothing but granny panties for the rest of my life. I'm going to either scream or throw up. Brace yourself."

Kuroro accordingly did so even as curiosity won out and he started edging towards the door in an attempt to see what was inside.

"No, don't," Midoya moaned, somehow having sensed him moving towards the door even with her eyes covered. "Don't look, Kuroro. Don't look."

"But you're making me curious," Kuroro protested, self-preservation waging an intense and probably doomed war against curiosity. "What is it? Tell me?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's _gross_!" Midoya wailed.

Before Kuroro could respond, someone laughed, a loud, distinctly male laugh.

"Gross? Disgust?" the voice sneered. "Such a childish, stupid, ridiculous reaction. I would have expected nothing more from a common slut like you."

"Childish?" Midoya exclaimed, sounding horrified. "I once had an S&M orgy with twenty other men, women and those in-between, and I am still _scandalised_! This is the… the _worst_ thing I have ever laid my eyes on! I verily believe my eyeballs have exploded and are leaking vitreous humours onto my face!"

"Rest assured, they haven't, dear," Kuroro said patiently. "You're just tearing up."

"I _know_ that, Kuroro, but I certainly _feel _like my eyeballs have exploded. I'm going to be sick. If you look, you will be sick too, so don't look."

"Oh," Kuroro said faintly, and struggled with his curiosity for a while more. Unfortunately, curiosity won self-preservation through sheer force of numbers, so Kuroro stealthily peeked around the door frame, telling himself he was _just going to take one look_.

For a moment, Kuroro could not see exactly what the fuss was about. Yes, there was a whole lot of blood splattered everywhere, yes there were a lot of sharp, pointy things inserted into the corpulent, mousy-looking man on the floor, and yes there were a lot of cuffs and leather straps and what not, but it wasn't like he hadn't seen any of these before. Any room Feitan had occupied for any period of time tended to look like that, so it was not like he wasn't used to it. Then his brain belatedly took note of two very minor but significant details: _where_ the sharp objects were inserted into and how _blissful_ the subject being inserted with pointy objects was.

"Ugh," Kuroro said eloquently and clapped his hands to his face, because there were just some things even Ryodan members couldn't stomach. Masochistically, he peeped out from behind his fingers and declared, "Ugh" again, because the sight was so _foul_ yet, like a man watching a train wreck about to happen, he couldn't tear his eyes away from it. Some strange, subconscious desire was forcing him to look, and Kuroro was certain that in the following seconds, he was either going to kill the creature in front of him or knock himself senseless. At least, he comforted himself, it would be a much more dignified response than Midoya's. Marginally more dignified, he corrected, as he desperately tried to convince the contents of his stomach not to rebel.

In the meantime, Midoya had finally gotten over her shock, disgust and appal at what she had seen, and had straightened up so she could face their enemy. With a gesture that Kuroro felt fully demonstrated how brave this short, plump woman was, she visibly shook off her reaction and held her chin high so she could look straight at the horrible apparition before them. "Well now," she said, and she sounded a lot calmer than Kuroro thought she truly felt, "this is unexpected. I certainly never thought that you were the true mastermind behind this."

At those words, Kuroro finally managed to tear his eyes away from the happily moaning, bloodied figure on the floor to the person Midoya was talking to. It was, Kuroro was glad to see, a much more normal sight to behold. Compared to the figure sprawled on the floor, this person looked perfectly ordinary, at least in some ways. He was a large, middle-aged man with a barrel-chest and a neatly-trimmed beard. Black eye-shadow and liner rimmed thin, narrow eyes and dark red lips painted the lips framed by his groomed facial hair. He was also wearing a leather bra, a leather thong, spike-heel boots and a whip, but those weren't the weirdest things Kuroro had ever seen a man wear.

"Who is this?" Kuroro asked Midoya, since she, at least, seemed to have a grasp of the situation. "Is he the Commissioner?"

"No, the Commissioner is the man… bleeding on the ground," Midoya replied, eyes narrowed, "The man standing there in the leather bra is Richard Temple, head of the Temple family."

"Oh. That name is unfamiliar to me though I sense you are at least acquaintances." Kuroro frowned in thought as some pieces started to click into place. "Another mafia head after you? Dear, your life as a honourary Mafioso is really too much effort to be worth the trouble."

"Yes, dear, we all know how much you hate my job. I promise I will quit one day and go back to the kitchen," Midoya replied with her usual wit, though her eyes, still fixed on the man before them, were narrowed and serious.

"Go back to the kitchen? Why would you do that? You can't kill people and steal stuff from there. You'll be useless to me in a kitchen. Unless we have sex over the kitchen counter, but even then, I have to point out that your bed is infinitely much more comfortable and conducive for vigorous thrusting than the kitchen counter."

"That was a joke. Never mind that, dear," Midoya said patiently because the man was now coming towards them.

"So, June, my girl," the man said, tapping the whip against one hairy thigh absently. "This is the path you have chosen. I wouldn't have expected it of you. Look at you standing there with blood all over your suit. You actually look like a fighter. Been taking a few karate lessons here and there, huh? Who would have known? I always thought you were more of the back alley meetings and seducing your enemy kind of girl." He laughed uproariously at that.

"And I always thought you were just a loud-mouthed oaf, Temple," Midoya replied with bland politeness and the man stared.

"You seem different today," he commented, looking slightly confused. "You _are_ June, aren't you?"

Midoya ignored that. Instead, she very deliberately and very courageously (in Kuroro's opinion), took one step into the room. "That's not important, Temple. What is important here is that you're the one who blew up the _Spring Fleur_ and _the Velvet House_," she said neutrally. A thoughtful look passed over her face and she nodded almost absently. "Yes, I see it. I see how it works now," she murmured, talking more to herself than to the rest of the people in the room. "You have been watching me for a couple of years now, I know that. It's no big surprise since I am head of one of the larger estates in York Shin, just as you are, but unlike yours, my estate is actually growing and becoming richer. I know I am a threat to you, but I did not think you would move against me. No, of course you wouldn't, not when you don't know all the cards I hold. That changed recently though. When you saw that someone had attacked the _Rose Petal_, you understood immediately that it could be used as a cover for you to attack me. In fact, it was your best chance to take a shot at me. It would be easy too since you have the Commissioner…" Midoya paused delicately "under your control."

"Ah, I see. So first, you used the Ryodan's attack as your cover and then you used the Commissioner as your second cover," Kuroro guessed. "You used him to hire the Zoldycks, and to fool that naïve detective into organising the bombing of the _Spring Fleur_ and _Velvet House_ so that you would never be directly involved in any of the wet work. I have no doubt that if someone noticed the discrepancies between the first and second bombing, and traced all the transactions and whatnot, they will end up finding the Commissioner at the end of the evidence trail."

The red lips spread in a smug, arrogant smile. "Well done," he said and did one of those slow-clap things that Kuroro always hated. "Well done, indeed. You have gotten most of the facts right. I've always heard you have a genius IQ, June baby-girl, but it seems your man here isn't too bad himself."

Midoya nodded in response to that detestable gesture. "The application of your plan is not difficult to guess at. But, a question still remains: why _now_, Temple?" She paused and scrutinised him intensely. "At this point, I am not exactly a threat to you yet. In fact, I am at that critical point where I could be either your biggest menace or your greatest ally. I know you realise that because you have been trying to join our two estates together. Your estate hasn't grown in years, but if you could get me on your side, that would change in an instant, as the Temple estate would be able to ride on the coattails of the Kito estate right to the top. That's why you asked me to be your mistress, am I correct? Causing me to fall now might get rid of a future threat, but it also means your estate will remain stagnant. Either way, you have merely deferred your doom to another day."

"Yes, yes," Richard Temple said, waving a hand dismissively. "I don't care about that. I can do just as well without you, girl, regardless of what you think. I certainly didn't ask you to be my mistress because I wanted to rebuild the Temple estate. Don't get me wrong, girl, it would have been great if you became my mistress, since I always wanted to do _this_ to you," he smiled as he gestured to the figure twitching on the floor, "but since that isn't going to happen anytime soon, I'll settle for killing you."

Startled, Kuroro blinked. "My goodness," he murmured, pressing his fingers to his lips. "Nobunaga was right. The third party _was_ blowing up your buildings to compete with me for your affections. This is a standard love triangle as detailed in the research papers I've been reading."

"_This_ is not affection and what you've been reading aren't _research papers_," Midoya said primly, pointing at the quivering figure on the floor with a great deal of disgust. "You really need to find out what affection really means."

"That's true. My knowledge in that area is somewhat limited. It would be helpful if I could actually feel emotions properly."

"Being a cold-hearted bastard does have its downsides, I guess."

"Oh, you would know, Midoya. You're as cold-hearted as I am."

"Aww, dear. How sweet of you to say that!"

Richard Temple cleared his throat loudly, bringing their attention back to him. "On the contrary," he corrected loudly, talking over them, "there is nothing _but_ affection here. Simon and I have been together for so many years after all. So many, many years." Smirking, he placed one heeled boot on top of the zoned-out man on the floor. "We have quite a bond, you see? I know what Simon wants, I know what he needs, and so he keeps coming back to me, just like the cute little pussy that he is."

Then it clicked. Kuroro's eyes widened with apprehension and at the same instant, Midoya murmured, "Ah, I get it now."

"As do I," Kuroro said. "You are the transvestite dominatrix in the picture M… June has, the one doing that beastly thing to the Commissioner. You are the one implicated in June's blackmail."

"Yes," Richard Temple said, and his nostrils flared with rage. "I didn't like that, girl. How _dare_ you try to blackmail me! Don't you know who I am? I am Richard Temple, head of the Temple family, and I got there by crushing everything and everyone in my path. You should never have angered me, girl. Never."

Now it was Midoya's turn to look bemused. "I had no idea it was you in that picture, Temple," she said with a great deal of reason. "I couldn't even see your face behind the mask you were wearing in it. The only visible face was that of the Commissioner's. He was the one I was trying to blackmail after all."

"Rubbish!" Richard Temple roared, stomping angrily on the prone figure on the ground. "Don't you dare try to lie to me, girl. I know how your type works. You act all cute and innocent, but really, behind that façade, you are a wicked bitch who gets her way in the world by backstabbing your betters!"

"It's all true, except for Midoya acting cute and innocent. I've learned that if anything, Midoya tends to be quite open and honest about her backstabbing, especially now, since we have a policy of honest dishonesty."

"It's very nice of you to stand up for me, dear, but now is not the time." Frowning, Midoya turned back to the fuming transvestite. "Temple, I assure you that I had absolutely no idea it was you in the picture. Your notion that I am blackmailing you as well as the Commissioner borders on paranoia."

Richard Temple laughed, the heaving of his body making his leather bra strain intimidatingly against his hairy chest. "You don't get to where I am now by being stupid," he sneered. "Besides, Simon is _my_ baby. Even if I believe you when you say that you didn't know it was me, which I don't, it doesn't change the fact that you tried to blackmail what is _mine_!"

"Temple, I did not even know the Commissioner is your Sub." Midoya shook her head. "Oh, why am I even bothering to rationalise with you?" she mused philosophically. "You're going to die anyway and there's no point bandying logic with a corpse."

Richard Temple's eyes widened and Kuroro realised it had only just struck him that he was in genuine danger. "You can't kill me," Richard Temple protested. "The Temple family will destroy you! We're more powerful than your estate! No one in the mafia community will accept you if you kill me! They will hunt you down and destroy your estate."

"Well yes, that is true," Midoya said frankly, "but June Kito's not the one killing you." Her smile widened. "Blacklist Hunter Midoya is." Then without another word, she was gliding forward, hand raised to _smite _Richard Temple.

Richard Temple screamed and scrambled backwards, stumbling over the dreamily moaning Commissioner as he did. With a quick side-step, Midoya rounded the prone figure and pounced onto her prey, bearing him to the ground.

"Goodbye, Mr Temple," she purred. "It's been nice knowing you." Smiling, she clenched her fist and swung it at the writhing man, aiming to crush his skull.

A pale hand stopped her, gripping her hard enough that Kuroro heard her broken bones grind against each other.

Slowly, warily, Midoya disengaged herself from the hand and backed up until her back hit Kuroro's. Together, they watched the two men circling around them like vultures.

"Well," Kuroro mused philosophically as he summoned his book, "so much for out-racing the Zoldycks."

* * *

A/N: Sorry for how short this chapter is. I'm feeling rather sick at the moment and don't really have the energy to edit a full ten thousand word chapter. I hope you don't mind putting up with less, dear reader. Also, sorry about the lengthy dialogue. Some things needed to be explained, and this was the chapter for it. There will definitely be more action coming up soon. In the meantime, this story will end in the next chapter, so do look forward to reading the conclusion of A Series of Romantic Burning Buildings.

Trivial: The dominatrix leading the Leather Army is now known as Mistress Boudica. But once, she was known as Jeffrey Arkell-Smith.

If the Ryodan had met Jeffrey Arkell-Smith, son of Mayor James Arkell-Smith and socialite Nicole Arkell-Smith née Mitchell, when he was but a teen, they wouldn't have recognised him at all. Instead of a stunning woman dressed in a revealing leather outfit, they would have seen a slender, pretty boy wearing a checkered button-down shirt and khaki trousers. Yes, he still had that head of auburn curls, but they were short and neatly groomed. Never would they have caught him with a single smudge of eyeliner on his face. No, at the age of fifteen, Jeffrey Arkell-Smith was an academically-brilliant, socially-conscious and pleasantly-polite young man. The most radical thing anyone had ever heard him speak about was _perhaps giving teenagers leave to stay up till eleven at night_ (gasp!).

That all changed when young, innocent Jeffrey made a trip to York Shin with his father to meet the movers and shakers of one of the biggest metropolitans in the world. For there, he would meet the man who would have the most singular impact on his life – Richard Temple, Head of the Temple family and Experienced Transvestite Dominatrix.

On that fateful night, Jeffrey Arkell-Smith discovered things about himself that he never knew before. He realised that the darkest, _deepest_ pleasure comes with trespassing boundaries, he learned that pain was not always bad and could be deliciously exquisite when dealt out properly, and he discovered an inordinate fondness for red lipstick and waxing his body hair.

Once set on that road, Jeffrey Arkell-Smith never turned back. Gone were the degree in Engineering, leg hair and male reproductive organs; out came the cosmetics, the leather corsets and the false breasts. However, shortly after, he discovered that having breasts came with a multitude of problems, such as consistently being hit on by guys who then became _violently_ upset when they discovered he had an Adam's apple. In a situation like this, what was a girl to do but learn how to use a whip efficiently? But then, it was _so_ difficult for a girl with a whip to find a proper job with both job security and a hefty pay-check. So Jeffrey, now Mistress Boudica, had returned to Richard Temple, the man who had changed his life forever.

And that was it. That was the path he intended to follow for the rest of his life. Richard Temple was a great man, the perfect Dom, one who could whip Boudica until he was weeping with pleasure, and so he was willing to follow this man to whatever end – including facing off with the infamously cruel Genei Ryodan.

That was, until Blacklist Hunter Pepeka Timbal punched him in the nose, head-butted him in the forehead, kneed him in the ribs and then kicked him over so he sprawled over the floor in a bloody mess. Lying in a puddle of his life's essence, Boudica couldn't help moaning in ecstasy as he stared up at the powerful, muscular, _domineering_ figure of the blacklist hunter Richard had told him to kill.

"Yes!" he had cried, throwing his bruised arms up ecstatically. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"Yes what?" Pepeka Timbal had asked confusedly – which, in hindsight, would prove to be his biggest mistake.

Later, an amused Machi and a somewhat embarrassed if gleeful Nobunaga would show Midoya and Kuroro the videos they had taken.

"Technically speaking, that means Pepeka is no longer a virgin," Midoya would note over Pepeka's recorded screams.

"Technically," Kuroro would agree as he saved the video onto his phone, chuckling evilly. "_Technically_."


	9. The End: Old Foes, New Allies

**A/N:** The sequel to "A Series of Very Criminal Activities".

This is a very weird and… crazy story. It's not much of an action story (though of course with the Ryodan involved, you can't avoid all the violence and gore etc entirely). The Ryodan wouldn't appear much either, because it is a romance story and the Ryodan isn't very romantic in my opinion, so for those who wanted to see more of the Ryodan, I apologise.

And… I have nothing else to say but this: please forgive me, I knew not what I have done.

Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me.

* * *

The End: Old Foes, New Allies

The panic room wasn't a very big room. Taking into account the collection of canned food, bottled water, first aid kits, weapons and torture devices, it could accommodate probably about six full-sized adults, fifteen starving Meteor City kids or two Ubogins. That was the thought on Kuroro mind as he looked around the people crowded into the room.

Of the least interest to him were Richard Temple and his bloodied, bruised lover both stuffed in a corner. Though they were their primary target, they were also the smallest threat at the moment. In direct contrast, the biggest threat to them at the moment was the Zoldycks, who were standing less than five feet away from him and Midoya. In fighting terms, 'five feet' was a pretty short distance for Nen-users of their calibre, as it put all of them well within each other's immediate attacking range. Ironically, that was also what had frozen the four of them into this awkward stalemate. If any of them was just the slightest bit less skilled or powerful, the other side would have made a move immediately. However, with the four of them being roughly of the same standard (namely deadly, experienced killers), neither of them was willing to make the first move and risk a chaotic, messy, claustrophobic fight in the tiny room.

So conversation it was then. "Hello," Midoya said brightly. "Hi Illumi! Hi Zeno! Gosh, what a surprise this is! What are the two of you doing here?"

Illumi blinked slowly. "Hunting June Kito," he replied, looking around with an oddly bird-like motion. "You are June Kito, are you not? Why do you know me?" He paused, tilted his head at an unnatural angle then said, "Oh. It's Midoya. I didn't recognise you under all that blood and makeup. It's nice to meet you again. I haven't seen you since you almost hired me to assassinate the Zodiacs the last time they were trying to kill you. Hello to you too, Kuroro. It's been a while."

Kuroro nodded back in greeting even as his mind raced a mile a second. The Zoldycks did not know June Kito and Midoya are the same person? That could be worked to their advantage.

Evidently Midoya thought so too. "Wow, you're hunting June Kito?" she asked with maniacal cheer. "That is so amazing! Fantastic and amazing! Isn't that so amazing, Kuroro?"

"Absolutely amazing," Kuroro agreed. "Gosh, who would have guessed, huh?"

"Why would you think that if Midoya is June Kito and you're trying to protect her?" Zeno asked wryly and Illumi clapped his hands together in sudden understanding.

"So Midoya Kito and June Kito are the same person," Illumi said, looking enlightened. "That explains a lot of things that have been puzzling us, like how you managed to escape from the _Velvet House_. I wonder how Milluki failed to uncover this. Come to think of it, I wonder how _I _failed to find out when we were in Urubia together. No matter. It seems you are our prey this time." Right. There went that advantage.

"I don't suppose we can talk about this, can we?" Midoya asked, still smiling widely like a deranged clown. "I thought you approved of me, Zeno… sir?"

"Well yes. But that's one thing. The job is another." Zeno grinned benignly. "The job comes first."

"Awww, what would Netero-sensei say if you killed his favourite disciple?" Now there were dimples on her cheeks. If her face wasn't so broken and bloodied, Kuroro thought she would have looked absolutely cute and endearing. As it was, she looked like that doll in that horrible movie that spent its time killing people in highly unimaginative ways.

"He would have wished us good luck then settled back to enjoy the fight, you cheeky brat," Zeno replied with a snort.

"You know sensei way too well," Midoya replied wryly, dropping the act. "Ying." At the same instant, Kuroro, who had been surreptitiously inching closer to Richard Temple, dropped to a crouch and darted straight for the mafia don.

If the Zoldycks had been less skilled or if Kuroro hadn't been injured, he might have made it. Unfortunately, Illumi simply threw himself through the poisonous gas that was Midoya, blatantly oblivious to the way it singed his skin and hair, and roughly grabbed Kuroro's arm, yanking him backwards.

The stalemate broke. Illumi and Kuroro rounded on each other, Nen blazing, while Zeno leapt forward to engage Midoya.

Metal met metal as Illumi's pins clashed against Kuroro's Benz. "This is not your fight, Kuroro," Illumi said as if he could care less. "And the poison in that blade is not going to do anything to me."

"I know," Kuroro replied easily and continued jabbing at the assassin anyway. A blade was still a blade after all, and he had learned the hard way that this one in particular could cut a Zoldyck if he put enough Nen into it.

A slight frown creased Illumi's face and he threw more pins at Kuroro. Kuroro hit them away, not willing to risk being struck by even one of them. The wounds produced by these pins were not terribly fatal as wounds go, but they did cause an extraordinary amount of pain, more than Kuroro, with his extraordinary ability to ignore discomforts, could bear. He could still fight even if hit by them, yes, but the pain would be distracting, and Kuroro could not afford that when facing off with a world-class assassin. Besides, they could also potentially make him Illumi's slave which would not be a good ending at all.

Dropping into a low crouch, Kuroro sprang at Illumi's knees, trying to break them and disable the assassin. Illumi leapt over him easily and came down hard, intending to stomp through Kuroro's spine. Performing a move that he learned watching street dancers in the York Shin subway, Kuroro twisted out of Illumi's way and jabbed the Benz at the assassin at the same time. Blood oozed out of the tiny cut he managed to make on Illumi's thigh.

Illumi didn't even bother to tie a tourniquet as his father had. Instead, he kicked out with the same leg, catching Kuroro's face with his knee. Kuroro's head snapped back and he scrambled blindly backwards, barely avoiding a second kick that would have taken his head straight off his neck.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Midoya, in human form, circling Zeno, darting in to attack when she thought his guard was down, and missing every single time. The old man looked absolutely calm and composed as he watched her with narrowed eyes, moving only to avoid her attacks. Evidently, he was having as much difficulty finding a break in Midoya's defences as she was with his. It was as bad as stalemates got; both of them wasting energy taking pointless snipes at each other. If Kuroro could go over, he might be able to tilt the situation in Midoya's favour. Unfortunately, Illumi was advancing on him with mayhem in mind, and Kuroro was forced to defend himself when another round of pins flew towards him.

"Illumi, are you really sure we can't discuss this?" Kuroro asked, already starting to breathe hard.

"Discuss what?" Illumi asked, his face void of all emotion as he tried to smash Kuroro's nose bridge into his skull with the flat of his palm.

"Not killing Midoya – or me," Kuroro replied, dodging just in time to save his nose.

"I'm perfectly fine with not killing you, Kuroro," Illumi said easily, slapping away Kuroro's attempt to stab him in the side. "You just need to walk out of here, and Grandfather and I will let you go. No one's paying us to get rid of you after all."

"No can do," Kuroro said, and pulled out his poisonous katana. "Midoya is my prey and I do not allow anyone to steal what is mine."

"That is a pity," Illumi said and broke what was probably Kuroro's last intact rib. He didn't even bother to sound genuinely sorry. Bastard.

Ignoring the jarring pain in his side, Kuroro dodged under Illumi's fist, grabbed it, and twisted it as hard as he could. The sound of bone cracking under his grip was probably the most satisfying thing he had heard in a while.

"You broke my wrist," Illumi said as he retreated out of Kuroro's range.

"Why? Does it make you sad?" Kuroro taunted.

"It's not a big deal," Illumi replied, and for the first time, a tiny smile graced his face, "shortly after I took part in the Hunter Exam, a kid who didn't know Nen broke my arm. It's really not that difficult."

Bastard.

Suddenly, Midoya, in Ying form, zipped past them, heading straight for the cowering Richard Temple and the Commissioner. Both Zoldycks immediately turned and went for her, but Kuroro leapt into their paths, dropping the katana and summoning the Fun Fun cloth as he did. Grimly, he swung it at them in a wide arc. The cloth connected with Zeno's arm and failed to hurt him even if it weakened his Nen defences a little.

Without missing a stride, both Zoldycks separated, trying to circle around him to get at Midoya, but Kuroro brandished the cloth at them and they were forced to retreat again.

"Uh uh," he scolded, swinging the cloth at Illumi when he tried to step forward, "it's not polite to interrupt a lady when she's conducting her private business."

"Boy, you are testing my patience," Zeno growled and Kuroro grinned insolently at him.

Scowling, Zeno settled into a stance Kuroro had seen before. "Watch out!" Kuroro shouted, just as the Nen dragon whipped around him and headed straight for Midoya. He felt rather than saw Midoya flow away from the attack immediately.

The moment she moved out of the way, Kuroro got a good look at the two men they were here to kill. Immediately, he realised that the small room, which had seemed so tiny and claustrophobic in the beginning, was working to their advantage. With hardly any standing space left in it, the two non Nen-users had nowhere to run or hide. That meant they were forced to stay in their corner and endure the Nen of four powerful Nen-users, blasting at full power as they battled each other. Already, the Commissioner looked like he had passed out from the sheer amount of Nen pressing down on him, and Richard Temple was leaning against the wall, shaking violently and frothing at the mouth, his eyes rolled back into his skull.

"Damn," Zeno muttered and Kuroro knew he had seen what he saw too.

"Midoya!" Kuroro shouted and tried to pour out as much Nen as he could. It wasn't the most efficient way to kill a person as he ran the risk of running himself dry too quickly, but if they were lucky, Temple and the Commissioner would drop dead first.

Unfortunately, the Zoldycks evidently had a problem with his plan. "Illumi! Get the client out!" Zeno shouted as he directed the dragon towards Midoya. From the way she swerved to avoid the attack, Kuroro had a sneaky feeling that the Nen dragon could hurt her even in that form. He found he was right when the dragon actually bit onto a part of Midoya, shaking the mist violently, and forcing her to reform into human shape.

"Fuck!" she swore, which, more than anything else, told Kuroro exactly how she felt, since Midoya never swore like that unless she was totally, absolutely pissed off.

"Got you," Zeno chuckled and the dragon clamped down even harder on Midoya, drawing blood and possibly breaking bone.

Midoya wriggled like an eel and Kuroro saw she was starting to slide out of the dragon's jaws. He moved forward to help her, but Midoya pressed her palms against the dragon and gave it a blast of hot, searing Nen. With an unexpectedly realistic roar, it dropped Midoya and she rolled to her feet immediately, her entire body blazing with Nen.

"Kuroro!" she shouted as she sprang into a crouch.

Kuroro's eyes darted in the direction she was looking, and saw Illumi zipping towards the two men in the corner, moving amazingly fast and gracefully for such a lanky man.

"Uh uh," Kuroro muttered, and turned to engage the assassin. Darting in front of Illumi, he swung a leg into the assassin's midriff, putting so much force into it he nearly lost his balance. The kick connected and the assassin exhaled sharply, whether from shock or pain, Kuroro did not know. Taking advantage of the assassin's sudden lapse, Kuroro swung his left fist in for a second blow but Illumi somersaulted backwards, his face still as expressionless as ever. Kuroro couldn't tell if the blow had any effect, and he didn't stop to find out. Instead, he drew his poisonous katana and bounded forward, swinging the blade in an arch of green light. The blade swooped under Illumi's feet when he leapt over it.

And since he was in mid-air, he couldn't dodge when Midoya, in Yang form, body-slammed him into a wall. Nor did she didn't stop there. As Illumi lay sprawled against the wall, his eyes wide with stunned confusion, she straddled him and relentlessly, brutally punched his face repeatedly, giving him no room to block or retaliate. Caught entirely off guard, Illumi sank onto the floor, blood dripping from his face as Midoya set upon the grim task of ripping his features off.

In the meantime, Kuroro turned towards the older Zoldyck, bringing the katana up just in time to block the dragon which was now swooping towards him. It slammed into his katana and drove him back until he hit a wall. Cursing violently, Kuroro twisted the katana so the tip pointed down into the throat of the dragon, and pushed forward. The dragon roared again and twisted away from him, giving him just enough space to escape the dead-end it had driven him into.

Immediately, Zeno pounced on him, fists jabbing forward in quick succession, forcing Kuroro to backtrack again to avoid taking a direct blow to his already injured body. Grimacing, he raised the katana and swiped it at the older assassin. With a snort that might have been annoyance or condescension, Zeno dodged, avoiding being decapitated by mere inches. Yet again, Kuroro tried to escape being pinned to the wall, so he leapt to the right – just in time to get a face full of Nen. The dragon clamped down on him and he ended up being slammed into the floor. The reinforced concrete cracked under him and all the breath rushed out of his body. With a pained groan, Kuroro gritted his teeth and forced more Nen outwards. To his amazement, the dragon shattered, releasing him just in time for him to roll away, avoiding Zeno's Nen-reinforced fist.

As he rolled to his feet, he felt his back bump against a cool, metallic back, and he realised that Illumi had managed to force Midoya back to the centre of the room where he was.

"Hello dear," Kuroro said and sensed Midoya nodding back at him in acknowledgement. A silver hand grabbed his wrist in warning and he looked up to see Zeno and Illumi walking towards them.

"Ho," Zeno Zoldyck said, grinning. "You have improved since the last time we fought, boy."

"I'm merely taking your advice to seriously try and kill you to heart," Kuroro replied. Risking a glance behind him, he saw that Illumi was back on his feet, his face the worse for wear after Midoya's attacks. He couldn't see Midoya since she was directly behind him, but her aura was a cool and steady glow against his skin. He took that as a sign that she was handling the fight just fine.

"Good," Zeno said with a nod. "Illumi, get the client out. I'll take them both."

Immediately, Kuroro realised what he planned to do. "Separate!" he shouted at Midoya, dodging to his left and hoping she was going in the opposite direction. To his relief, she did, and the dragon went in between them. However, the diversion worked, and before either of them could react, Illumi was already outside the panic room with both the Commissioner and Richard Temple, one tucked under each arm. Midoya turned to go after them, but the dragon zoomed into her path, picking her up and throwing her into the ceiling.

Her Yang form shattered, and Midoya dropped to the ground, shards of silver falling around her like metal rain. "Bugger me," she cursed and coughed blood. Still stunned, she could barely react when Zeno zipped towards her, hand raised and ready to pierce through her heart. Kuroro barely managed to intercept his blow, stopping it less than an inch from Midoya's blood-soaked blazer. Still coughing, she lashed out at Zeno with her elbow, but he slithered away like a snake.

"Kill him now," Midoya gasped, pushing herself off the floor. "Kill him before Illumi returns."

"Good advice," Kuroro agreed and they came at Zeno in a pincer attack, Midoya aiming low for his knees and Kuroro going high for his neck.

"Hey, hey, hey; play fair," Zeno complained idly even as he easily dodged their attack. In synchrony, they tried again, this time with Midoya aiming for a blow to the head while Kuroro went for the ankles. Yet again, Zeno avoided their attacks, jumping over Kuroro's katana while lashing out at Midoya with an upper-cut. She pulled her head back just in time to avoid it. Zeno didn't look put-out though; instead, he pressed his advantage, attacking her so rapidly she was pushed back.

Since he was no longer being pinned down by a master assassin, Kuroro took the opportunity to attack Zeno, slashing quickly and relentlessly at the tiny old man. However, even though Zeno was focused on killing Midoya, Kuroro could barely land a hit on him. If anything, the old man didn't even seem to be paying any attention to Kuroro. He simply dodged when needed, all the while pushing his advantage on Midoya. Under the flurry of attacks, she was forced to retreat, backing off a few steps, which took her out of Kuroro's range. Again, Zeno tried to go in for the kill, but Midoya leapt away, gaining enough time for Kuroro to return to her side. Together on the same side now, they forced Zeno to back off.

Standing at the far wall, Zeno chuckled. "You can't keep doing this forever," he told him, grinning widely.

"We don't have to," Kuroro replied immediately.

"We just need to do this until you're dead," Midoya agreed.

Zeno shrugged carelessly. "Fair enough," he said. "You really are good, kid. Netero's taught you well."

"Thank you for the compliment, Zeno. You are too kind." Her eyes slid to meet Kuroro's and he knew what she was thinking.

That man was disgustingly nimble for someone his age. No matter how they attacked, he always managed to dodge by the smallest margin, even when they attacked together at his blind spots. It was time to change tactics.

Without saying anything, both he and Midoya activated their Nen, Midoya turning into a white mist and Kuroro drawing his katana. Smoothly, Midoya circled around the old man, forcing him into a corner while Kuroro repeatedly darted in, trying to nick the assassin with his blade.

"Using poison against a Zoldyck?" Zeno asked, looking amused. "My, my, I feel like you're just looking down on me." Taking in a deep breath, he released his Nen with a shout, and the both of them were forced to retreat or be overwhelmed by his aura.

And even though they had been pushed back, a triumphant smile curved Kuroro's lips.

Goal accomplished. With Zeno in a corner, the exit was now free. Again, without consulting each other, they turned, darted through the doorway and sprinted down the corridor. From behind them, they heard the old Zoldyck curse violently before starting after them.

"We make an excellent team," Midoya, now human again, commented with genuine pleasure. "One more reason for us to stay together."

"I have to agree," Kuroro told her. "Now let's hurry and kill Temple and his toy before the Zoldycks find us."

"An excellent plan," Midoya agreed.

"Yes, of course," Kuroro said then did a double-take when another thought struck him.. The Nen-beams protecting the corridor were gone, he realised belatedly. The Zoldycks must have destroyed them on the way in. Good thing they did or the both of them would be dead now. He said as much to Midoya and she laughed.

"You are right, dear. I didn't even realise they were gone." Over her shoulder, she shouted, "Thanks Zeno!"

"You're welcome, you brat!" Zeno, close on their heels shouted back, and Midoya laughed some more.

"Really love that old man," she said fondly, which said tons about Midoya's level of tolerance – namely that it was a lot more than what the Ryodan as a group had combined. It was, Kuroro felt, one of her biggest weaknesses, but probably also the primary reason why she put up with all his quirks and eccentricities. He _did_ like the fact that she never complained about his obsession with putting all their toiletries in the _precise_ order.

So, instead of scolding her for being open-minded about people trying to kill her, he asked, "Can you sense where the Commissioner and Richard Temple are? I noticed you have a talent for locating people."

"Oh, you _did_? I'm incredibly flattered. No one's ever noticed that about me before." She beamed at him. "Netero pounded that talent into me. Almost as abusive as my father, that man. But I do love him so. At least he never left me in a mental institution to die," she added wryly, even as her eyes turned towards the ceiling. "They are two floors above us but moving up fast. Illumi's taking them higher… I think he's trying to get them to the ground floor where they can leave the building."

"Then let's stop him."

"Righty-ho, dear. Now jump!" They jumped – barely making it up the stairs before the dragon collapsed it behind them.

Knowing that collapsing architecture would barely give the old Zoldyck a pause, they swiftly headed towards the next staircase, rushing past empty offices, over-turned furniture and shocked guards patrolling the area. A guard, surprised by their sudden appearance, stood frozen in their path as he gaped dumbly at them. He died with that expression on his face.

"They're getting close to the first floor," Midoya commented tensely just as they reached Basement Level Two. "Carrying two full-grown men is slowing him down, but not by much. We need to hurry."

Abruptly, from beneath them, Kuroro felt powerful, blazing Nen rushing towards them. "Jump!" he snapped and tumbled quickly forward. He blindly grabbed Midoya's collar, pulling her under him and away from the attack just as a giant dragon roared through the floor and up, smashing a hole all the way to the roof of the headquarters and exploding into the night sky.

Debris rained down on them, covering them in a layer of white dust and larger chunks of concrete. Flames burst out around them, licking at their skin. Something warm trickled down his face. Touching it turned his whole hand red. Well, Kuroro mentally shrugged, it wasn't like it was the first time tonight this had happened to him.

Mildly stunned by the fall, Kuroro turned on his back to stare at the dull night sky of York Shin, a patch of black surrounded by a ring of orange and red. "Hey, look," he said faintly. "The building is on fire."

"And there's a hole all the way to the top of the building," Midoya added, turning in his arms to look. "Isn't that convenient, dear?"

"Very," Zeno said solemnly, appearing out of the hole. "You're making this mission very unprofitable, Midoya."

"I'm very good at doing that," Midoya replied and flung a throwing knife straight at him.

Not bothering to check if she had found her mark, she immediately leapt through the hole Zeno's dragon had made, Kuroro close behind her. As they soared past Basement Level One, Kuroro actually felt the snout of the dragon brush against the heel of his boots before they landed neatly on Level One.

Immediately, they were forced to dodge again when Illumi's pins peppered the ground where they landed. Even as he cartwheeled away from Midoya, Kuroro saw Richard Temple and the Commissioner now on their feet and running towards the exit.

"Midoya! Get them!" he shouted, drawing his katana and charging Illumi. They clashed, metal against metal, just as Midoya leapt past them, bounding straight for the two men staring at her in wide-eyed horror.

"No!" Richard Temple screamed, raising his arms to defend his head. Ignoring him, Midoya headed straight for the Commissioner. For a moment, Kuroro was confused. Then he remembered. The money trail led back to the Commissioner; he was the one they had to kill immediately.

The Commissioner looked up, his face a frozen mask of terror. His mouth worked, but he couldn't get it to make a sound as Midoya's hand reached out to grab his throat.

Then Zeno Zoldyck landed on Midoya's back, driving her straight to the ground.

Kuroro cursed and tried to shove Illumi away, but the younger assassin pressed down relentlessly on him. "It'll be over soon, Kuroro," Illumi said, dark eyes boring into Kuroro's. "Relax. You can always find a new girlfriend." His pins clattered violently against the katana, forcing Kuroro to retreat even further from Midoya.

"But I've only just gotten her back," Kuroro hissed in frustration.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Midoya struggle against Zeno. But the older assassin had the advantage of leverage, and he knocked her hands away easily. With a swift jab of his fist, he punched Midoya in the face and she slumped over, her face going slack as she started to slide into unconsciousness. Easily, almost casually, Zeno grabbed her hair, pulling her head up and exposing her throat.

No.

Midoya's eyes met his for a moment, and he saw in them dazed shock, regret – and acceptance of the inevitable.

No.

With a last burst of strength, Kuroro shoved Illumi off and sprinted towards them desperately.

No.

Zeno Zoldyck raised a hand, glowing with Nen.

No.

"Goodbye, Midoya," he said casually.

No.

Kuroro's hand reached out to grab the thin, aged wrist.

And two gunshots rang out brightly in the air.

* * *

Pepeka Timbal looked up from the unconscious dominatrix at his feet. Next to him, he felt the other Ryodan members look up as well, as the massive dragon soared into the sky and exploded into silvers of light.

"That was the police headquarters," Nobunaga said, flicking blood off his katana.

"That was a Zoldyck," Machi corrected. A decapitated head, heavy with auburn curls lay at her feet.

Without another word, all four of them started to run towards the headquarters. As they did, something clenched painfully in Pepeka's chest and a sense of dread filled him.

_Sensei_.

* * *

Kuroro's hand closed reflexively around the heavily-veined wrist but to little effect. It was not moving, not struggling to escape nor moving to slice Midoya's throat. That was just as well since Kuroro's attention, like the attention of the rest, was focused on the entrance of the headquarters.

Both Richard Temple and the Commissioner were dead, sprawled on the floor lifelessly like mannequins. Both of them had bullet holes in their head, one perfect, round hole each. Standing above them was a young woman in her late teens with blonde hair, delicate features and a pretty pearl-handled gun in her hand. She was also wearing a loose T-shirt with a cartoon bear on it and loose shorts, looking exactly like she had just climbed out of bed. Standing behind her was Hisoka, and it was only a testament to this young woman's remarkable sense of presence that Kuroro didn't notice until a good second later.

Calm blue eyes swept over them before focusing on Midoya. "Miss Kito!" the young woman exclaimed pocketing the gun. "I'm glad I came in time. I'm sorry I was not here sooner. I was silly enough to try to drive over. Traffic was really bad."

Zeno's hand let go of Midoya's hair and she half-slumped forward. Since Midoya was no longer in immediate danger, Kuroro let go of Zeno's wrist as well, backing away warily from the scowling old man. As he did, Illumi stepped up beside him and gave Hisoka a withering look. Hisoka smiled back and wriggled his fingers in greeting.

"Sally Temple," Midoya said slowly, getting unsteadily to her feet. "Well, I must admit to being rather shocked. Your _Pamela_ act was so over the top I didn't believe it could be anything but genuine."

The young woman blushed appealingly, looking extremely pleased. Her cheeks dimpled when she smiled. Kuroro couldn't tell if they were real or not. "I learned from the best," she said, smoothing a strand of hair behind her ear in a bizarrely girlish way. "I've always been a fan of yours. You might say I studied you for a while. The way you do things is really just so incredibly smart. I mean, like, the CUPKA deal with the Desai family? Pure genius."

"Thank you," Midoya said warily. "Speaking of deals… do you mind?"

For a moment, Sally Temple just gaped blankly at her so Kuroro coughed and nodded at the Zoldycks meaningfully. "What?" she asked, looking confused.

"The assassination?" Hisoka whispered in her ear and her mouth formed a delicate, pretty 'O' of illumination.

"Oh!" she cried. "Oh yes! Erm… Zoldycks I presume? Sorry, I can't tell who is who here. Anyway, my Father and the Commissioner are dead so the assassination is off, right? At least erm… I think it should be? Since I'm the only Temple here, I guess my word is it, isn't it? I don't want Miss Kito dead, so could the two of you please not kill her? I mean, I really like her. Like _really_."

Illumi's eyes narrowed and he glanced at Hisoka. "Are you sure we cannot convince you to change your mind?" he asked. "The Kito family, as I understand it, is still a threat to the Temple family. It will be in your best interests to get rid of her."

"Now, now, Illumi," Hisoka scolded, uncharacteristically serious, "don't make me say it again: Midoya-chan is my prey; leave her alone."

Illumi stared for a while then shrugged wordlessly, leaving it to his grandfather to speak for them.

"So the deal is off. Fine," Zeno said with a resigned huff. "You just cost us a lot of money, young woman."

Sally Temple laughed with girlish awkwardness. "I'm sorry," she said. "If I pay you half of what Father was supposed to, will that do?"

"No assassination, no payment. We'll return the deposit your father left with us," Zeno said sternly, more, Kuroro thought, to Illumi than to her. Then to Kuroro, he added, "And every time you're involved, my business suffers. You're the bane of my existence, boy."

"Sorry," Kuroro replied insolently and was, for a moment, convinced Zeno was going to cuff him over the head. Instead, the older assassin nodded gruffly at Midoya and strode out of the building. Illumi remained a second longer, fixing Kuroro and Midoya with a blank but intense stare. They stared back evenly.

Finally, he blinked and nodded as if to himself. "I cannot be unhappy that you survived," he told Midoya. "You are a very interesting person. People who catch Hisoka's attention tend to be so. Well, I hope this wouldn't put you off hiring the Zoldycks the next time you need to kill somebody."

"Hardly, dear, hardly," Midoya assured him.

With an unexpectedly gallant bow, Illumi turned and left to join his grandfather.

An awkward silence fell over the remaining quartet as they stared at each other. At least it was awkward for three of them; Hisoka had retreated a few steps back and was leaning on one foot, shuffling cards and smirking at them.

"So..." Sally Temple said nervously, twirling a strand of hair. "The building's burning down. Oopsies, huh?"

"Oopsies indeed," Midoya said, frowning slightly. "I think… I think I understand what just happened. Yes, I think I get it now. You are a very smart girl, Sally Temple, much smarter than anyone has ever given you credit for."

"Thanks!" Sally Temple said, looking incredibly pleased with herself again. "Coming from you, that means a lot to me. I wasn't kidding when I said I am a huge fan of yours. Have been since like forever."

Kuroro coughed meaningfully again and the two women look at him. "Can someone explain what is going on?" he asked. "Who is this and do I have to kill her?"

Midoya smiled fondly at him. "Forgive my manners, dear. That's my secretary, Sally Temple. No… I think I need to correct this. This is Miss Sally Temple, head of the Temple family." She regarded the young woman thoughtfully. "I believe we just took part in a coup against the old Head, Richard Temple. You sly, cunning child. How long have you been planning this?"

"His murder? From the moment Father asked me to spy on you," Sally Temple replied, giggling. "I was ecstatic, Miss Kito, when Father told me to work for you. It was the perfect chance for me to form an alliance with you. Father never realised I have been dying to take over his position for a while, and to do so, I needed your help. But I couldn't find a way to get you to trust me. It was really difficult, because you're always on your guard, so I figured I would try to come across as… you know… unthreatening as possible. Erm… I guess I did play the stupid little damsel a little too much? But I thought it was a way to get you on my side, you see. I know you wouldn't have minded helping me; you hated Father as much as I did. He's such a boor. Do you know he tried to sell my virginity during the underground auctions? I only managed to put him off by spreading rumours on the Net that I have AIDS. He really is unbearable."

"I see. So when you found out he decided to attack me, you saw your chance," Midoya guessed. "You decided to use me to get rid of him so you could become Head."

"Yup!" Sally Temple's head bobbed enthusiastically. "I even left clues so you would know. Like, I sent the detective erm… Bran? I sent him to wait outside the _Velvet House_ where I knew you would find him. I thought once you found out the Commissioner was in on this, you would find out Father was the true mastermind. I mean, the two of them have been doing this erm… thing for years. You knew, right?"

"As a matter of fact, I didn't, not until quite recently." Midoya now turned to fix Hisoka with a glare. "And _you_. I should have known you didn't appear before me by accident. How long have you been working with this young woman here?"

Hisoka smirked. "You wouldn't believe me."

"Try me."

"Since six hours ago." Hisoka sniggered. "She caught me trying to break into your mansion. I couldn't find you, you see, Midoya-chan, and I wanted to finish where you left me the last time: broken, bloody and needing to find a doctor to re-inflate my lungs. It seemed she knew where you were so I decided to lend her a helping hand." He smiled sweetly when Midoya sighed. Kuroro joined her. He knew exactly what it was like to be an object of Hisoka's obsession. A hint: it's not very pleasant.

"Yup, I recruited him just six… actually, it's almost seven hours ago," Sally Temple said, bouncing cheerfully. "I didn't know who he was, but he seemed real powerful, and I figured with assassins after you and Father blowing up your buildings, you would need some help. So here we are!"

"And," Midoya said sternly, arching an eyebrow, "you expect me to forgive you for knowing about the bombings and not warning me ahead of time?"

"Well yes," Sally Temple said cautiously. "I mean, you will probably want to forgive me after you hear what I have to say? I didn't come here empty-handed, I promise."

Midoya nodded slowly. "Alright. So what do you have to say?"

"You remember Father's proposal to you? Well, I want to do something similar with you. If you'll let me."

The look on Midoya's face became incredulous. "You want me to be your _mistress_?" she exclaimed, looking shocked. Kuroro's eyes widened and he drew his Benz immediately.

"No! No!" Sally Temple's face flushed red. "That's not what I meant! I meant… I meant we could have an alliance! Not a you know… that. I meant… I'm not into that sort of thing. I really like you and admire you, but not that way. No, no, not that way at all… I mean…" For a moment, her hands fluttered nervously before she calmed herself by smoothing her hair down. "I meant," she said, blushing, "help me retain my status as Head of the Temple family, Miss Kito, and I'll swear an allegiance to you." The look on Midoya's face turned abruptly from incredulity to intense interest.

"An allegiance?" Kuroro demanded, still holding the Benz out just in case she proved to be a potential love rival he needed to kill. "What's that?"

"An oath," Midoya explained, her face thoughtful. "It's something you only do to a more powerful family. Normally, it is a case of smaller families seeking protection by alliancing themselves with a much stronger family. It's kind of like being a vassal state to a powerful kingdom: the weaker party pays tribute while the stronger party provides protection. Most families try to avoid it because it, as you can imagine, makes it very easy for the stronger family to exploit the weaker one. However, sometimes families do it as a way of paying off a debt. Depending on how long the allegiance made is, the Temple family could be indebted to me for… years."

"The rich, _powerful_ Temple family," Sally Temple added coaxingly. "Father isn't that big a screw-up that he has failed to maintain our coffers. Do you like the silk trade? We do. Very much."

A smile spread over Midoya's face, one that was full of approval. "Come to the Kito estate tomorrow, Miss Temple," she said formally, extending her hand, "I believe we have much to discuss."

"Yes, Miss Kito!" the young woman cried, shaking her hand with the hot enthusiasm of youth. "And uh… you know… speaking about mistresses and such…" A blush spread over her cheeks. "Will your bodyguard… that is the very tall and um… handsome man… Hunter Timbal be there?" Large doe eyes blinked hopefully.

Midoya blinked back. So did Kuroro. Hisoka simply perked up like a puppy being offered a treat. "Pepeka? I'll… I'll see that he is… if you like," Midoya said, and Kuroro could tell she was struggling not to laugh.

"Alright then," Sally Temple said shyly. "I'll see you tomorrow." She looked around at them with the awkwardness of adolescence. "Erm… I… I just… wanted to say I really like your suit by the way. Erm… Bye." Waving and giggling, she fled.

With his charge now gone, Hisoka straightened up and grinned at them. "It's been fun, Midoya-chan, Kuroro," he said. "I'll be looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, Miss Kito."

"Of course, dear." Midoya fixed Hisoka with a look. "Now, why are you really helping that child, Hisoka?"

"Need you ask?" Humming tunelessly, Hisoka sauntered up to her and gave her a surprisingly chaste kiss on her cheek. "It's because you needed help and I'm the sweetest man you've ever met."

"You just didn't want Illumi to kill me and ruin your fun."

"That too, Midoya-chan, that too." Still grinning, he walked up to Kuroro and added, "I haven't forgotten you even if you are so mean you didn't even play with me. You hurt my feelings."

"What a pity," Kuroro replied dryly.

"So cold," Hisoka pouted and leaned over to give Kuroro a peck on the cheek. "The next time, I'll make sure to make you bleed."

"Now you've hurt my feelings."

Laughing, Hisoka gave Kuroro another kiss then turned and left. "Goodbye," he called behind his shoulder. "Now get out of there before you burn to death." Then he was gone.

For a moment, Kuroro and Midoya could only stare at each other over the expanse of black smoke rolling around them. Gradually, Midoya started to laugh, painfully at first, but gaining strength and momentum as hilarity built. After a while of just staring at her, Kuroro joined her and they collapsed on the ground, laughing hysterically together.

"Can you believe that?" Midoya asked, tears running down her face. "Can you believe what just happened?"

"I can't even make sense of what just happened, much less believe it," Kuroro said, laughing so hard his ribs hurt. "I set out with only one goal and that was to get you back. And what have we ended up with? We find out the Commissioner and Richard Temple were in a bizarre, extreme S&M relationship together and tried to kill you because you were unknowingly blackmailing both of them, the Zoldycks tried to kill us and failed, Sally Temple hired Hisoka, held a coup and overthrew her father, you now have an alliance with the Temple family, and Pepeka might have a date. Does any of this make sense to you?"

"Everything but Pepeka having a _date_!" Midoya cried and they ended up laughing so hard they were coughing blood all over the floor.

After a while, their laughter faded and they lay quietly next to each other watching the building burn. "You know, Hisoka has a point. We should probably get out of here," Kuroro mused. "The building is going to collapse anytime soon."

"Yeah, we should," Midoya agreed. She sat up and looked at him, "Pizza."

"What?" Kuroro asked, sitting up as well. "Pizza?"

"Greasy, hot and covered with enough cheese to give me a tummy ache for days. I am having the worst craving for pizza now," Midoya said dreamily. "Let's go get some."

"Now? Looking like this?" Kuroro pointed to a rib sticking out of his skin. "Someone's either going to call the police or one of those zombie-hunting conspiracy-theorists, and that's just going to be embarrassing for all of us."

Midoya shrugged. "It's York Shin. Mobsters are a dime a dozen here. We can't look _too_ far off from the usual clientele they get at this time of night." She paused. "Besides, we can just order to my new place. It's not furnished but it has hot water." She smiled at him then. "You could take a shower there. You need it. Come to think of it, I need it too." Her expression turned seductively coy. "We could shower together. We haven't done that in a while."

Kuroro glanced at her face then at his blood-soaked outfit and finally, at the bones sticking out of their flesh, and contemplated the merits of bathing together in that state. Then he shrugged. It wasn't like he wanted Midoya back because he liked playing things safe. "Sure, why not," he said, getting to his feet and offering her his hand. "Come on. Let's go get some pizza. Machi and the rest can find us there."

Smiling, Midoya took his hand – and together, they walked out of the burning building.

* * *

In the end, by the time the Ryodan and Pepeka reached the headquarters, it was already up in flames. Parts that weren't burning up were crumbling down, and there was no one alive around. It caused a bit of hysteria, especially between Nobunaga and Pepeka, who convinced each other that sensei and Dancho had to still be in the building, and they needed to get in there and do something heroic. Just as they were prepared to charge into the burning building to find Dancho, Shalnark turned up, took one look at the building then at the panicked duo and asked, "Has anyone tried calling Dancho?"

Four pairs of eyes stared back blankly at him so Shalnark sighed and called Dancho. Dancho picked up on the third ring. _"Yes?"_

"Are you in the burning building?" Shalnark asked, trying to hear Dancho over the rushing noise in the background.

"_No,"_ Dancho replied, and Shalnark finally identified the rushing noise as water. _"We're at Midoya's new pent…"_ Dancho's voice hitched unexpectedly but he continued smoothly _"house. I'll send you the address."_

"Alright. Great!" Shalnark said cheerfully.

"_Right,"_ Kito's voice said in the background. _"Now get off the phone. My back isn't going to wash itself." _

"Bye," Shalnark chirped with forced cheer as Dancho hung up on him. The address came a short while later and then it was only a matter of travelling there. It didn't take them very long either, since they knew the address very well. After all, Midoya's new penthouse was in the same building as her old one. Just in a different wing.

"Sneaky woman," Nobunaga said admiringly as they climbed up the side of the building.

"Very sneaky woman," Pepeka agreed proudly.

Right before they reached the window to Kito's new penthouse, they stopped, remembering the last time they had burst in on Kito and Dancho alone in a room. Pepeka, who didn't know, was told by Machi in explicit detail what happened. He turned red and green, and readily agreed that it was best if they knocked first. Unfortunately, there was nothing to knock on so Nobunaga coughed loudly and called, "Knock, knock!"

"Who's there?" Kito's voice replied.

"Nobunaga and gang!" Nobunaga shouted.

"Nobunaga and gang who?" Kito shouted back.

"Huh?" Nobunaga gaped in confusion and was momentarily afraid that it wasn't Kito he was hearing but her _evil twin_. Then he heard Dancho laugh and was reassured.

Kito's face appeared at the window and she smiled down at them. "Hello dears," she said, somehow looking neat and elegant despite the mess that was her face, "we've been expecting you. Do come in. Oh! Pepeka! Hello! I've missed you!"

"Sensei!" Pepeka cried emotionally, his eyes filling with tears. "I've missed you too!"

"Yes! Do you have the puppy with you?" Kito asked eagerly, her eyes wide with hope.

The hug Pepeka Timbal had obviously been preparing to draw his sensei into stopped mid-way. "Uh… yeah," he said, looking crestfallen as he pulled a tiny, furry bundle out of his pocket.

"Puppy!" Kito squealed, much to the Ryodan members' horror, and drew the wriggling bundle into a hug. "Oh, I've missed you! How cute you are! Oh, your paws are so _tiny_! They are the sweetest things ever. I love you so much! Well, why are you all standing around? Come on in! And Pepeka, do help me heat up the pizza; Kuroro and I took too long in the shower, and it's turned cold."

As Pepeka Timbal dragged his feet on his way to fulfil his sensei's wishes, the Ryodan filed into Kito's new living room, looking around curiously. As far as Shalnark could judge, the orientation of the place seemed to be identical to Kito's old place. Other than the fact that it was unfurnished, it could have been her old place, complete with messy bed, books falling everywhere and cups of tea lying around.

"Hello Ryodan," Dancho said from where he was sitting on the floor. "It's good to see you again." Then his eyes snapped to Kito. "A puppy," he noted, his eyes lighting up in a way that the Ryodan, used to his obsessive personality, recognised immediately. "Let me pet it."

"No," Kito said sharply then laughed at the look on Dancho's face, the same one he got when they tell him that they failed to steal the merchandise he wanted. "Oh, alright. Take care of it while I bring in some refreshments."

Dancho's eyes fairly glowed as he took the puppy and started to pet it. It stayed still, ears down and tail between its legs, not like it was afraid, but more as if it was aware that if it tried to leave, Dancho would be _very upset_.

"Hey Dancho," Nobunaga said, walking up to him. "Geez, you look like shit." And he did. Wearing only a towel around his waist, all his bruises, scrapes and broken bones were clearly visible. Machi was by his side in a second, Nen threads out and ready.

Dancho smiled indulgently as he continued petting the warily-still puppy. "Put as succinctly as usual, Nobu," he said and Shalnark knew Dancho was in a good mood. "Also, thank you for patching me up, Machi. I hope it's not too much trouble to do the same for Midoya."

"Of course not," Machi said immediately, because no matter how politely he put it, Dancho's orders are Dancho's orders, and no one would dream of saying no to him.

Kito came in from the kitchen, easily holding an armful of beer even with all the broken bones sticking out of her flesh. "Sit down," she said cheerily, "have some beer while we wait for the pizza. I'm sorry I don't have any chairs, but the floor performs the same purpose. Or you could sit on a book. It's surprisingly comfy." She plopped down next to Dancho, somehow managing a modicum of modesty despite only wearing a bathrobe, and took the puppy from Dancho.

"Midoya, it's only polite to share," Dancho protested, eyeing the puppy now happily wriggling on Kito's lap.

"Remind me again how you hogged the hot water just now?" Kito replied tartly but set the puppy between them anyway, where it curled up into a defensive ball again.

"So," Nobunaga said as he sat down on the floor (definitely not going to sit on a book because Dancho would just glare at him), "the both of you are together again?"

"You can say that," Kito replied, slapping Dancho's hand sharply when he tried to sneak the puppy onto his lap.

"So you _liked_ the love poems!" Nobunaga exclaimed triumphantly. "I knew it! Dancho you really have me to thank for this!"

At that, both Dancho and Kito burst into laughter. Nobunaga stared confusedly then looked annoyed. "Yes, yes," Kito said hurriedly, when Nobunaga drew his sword, "the love poems were very nice. Certainly much nicer than the exploding buildings."

A hurt look spread across Dancho's face, but before he could say anything, Shizuku interrupted by asking, "What's that?" She pointed to the board in front of them

"Chess, of course," Dancho replied. "Midoya and I were bored so we decided to indulge in a little light entertainment."

"Cool," Shalnark commented cheerfully. "So who's winning?" He glanced at the board and was surprised to see that only the king remained on both sides.

"It's a draw," Dancho told him with a shrug, though his eyes gleamed with malice, "we're at a stalemate now. But not for long, Midoya, not for long."

Kito's eyes glittered fiercely. "We shall see, Kuroro," she replied demurely.

"Ah," Shalnark said and wisely changed the topic. "So, exactly what happened at the police headquarters?"

As Dancho filled them in, they continued to play, moving their kings around aimlessly, as far as Shalnark could tell. By the time Dancho was done, Timbal was back with the pizza.

"Whoa," Timbal said as he set steaming hot pizza in front of them. "Sally Temple killed her father? That little blonde girl who walks into doors and giggles at puppies?"

"Mmmhmm," Kito replied, stuffing pizza into her mouth. "Even I was surprised and I am so rarely surprised these days. That child is truly a force to be reckoned with, maybe not just yet, but certainly sometime in the next few years. Quite reminds me of myself when I was her age, actually. I used to own pyjamas like hers too. We have that much in common, including a fondness for teddy bears. Of course, I've grown out of liking toy bears into liking real bears. Grizzlies are just so cute when they try to bite my hand off and fail. Oh, the pizza is _so_ good. Mm!"

"Wow, who would have thought," Timbal mused, demolishing a slice of pizza in three bites. "She looked so… harmless."

"The harmless-looking ones are always the most dangerous ones," Nobunaga said with great wisdom. "It's like natural selection or some shit. Only those who can trick others get to survive and pass on the genes."

"Brilliant insight, Nobu," Dancho agreed, biting almost daintily into his slice of pizza. "Don't feed the puppy pizza, Midoya. It's not good for it."

"Aw, but it looks so sad," Kito said mournfully as the puppy put its legs on her thigh and drooled over her bathrobe. "Pepeka, why don't you get some meat from the fridge for it? I'm sure I have something lying… somewhere."

Pepeka, who had just settled down, gave her an aggrieved look but got to his feet anyway. "In the freezer?" he asked, moving towards the kitchen.

"Yes, dear. Oh, and one more thing," Kito said suddenly. "Pepeka, I need you to be at the Kito estate tomorrow. Bodyguard duty."

Timbal's head popped out from behind the freezer door and he stared at his sensei confusedly. "I'm still needed?" he asked. "But… you're… I mean… Kuroro isn't blowing up your buildings anymore."

The slice of pizza Dancho was in the midst of picking up dropped back into the box. "You _hired_ Pepeka to protect you against me?" he demanded, looking offended. "Midoya, you've seen me fight a Zoldyck head-on. What makes you think _Pepeka_ can take _me_?"

"Oh, my Pepeka is a big boy now, I'm sure he can take you just fine," Kito grinned. And because Timbal was too busy basking in the glow of his sensei's affirmations, he didn't hear when Kito added softly to Dancho, "Be gentle with him. He's only fifteen and still a virgin, that poor boy."

"Speaking of that," Dancho commented, the gleam in his eyes letting the Ryodan know he was mollified but still out for revenge, "Pepeka has a date."

"Who?" Nobunaga and Shizuku asked at the same time and Dancho blinked in surprise.

"Sally Temple," Kito replied and laughed when Timbal turned bright red with horror and embarrassment.

"What? Why do I have a date with her?" he squeaked. "She's this… weird… homicidal… woman who killed her own dad!"

"You mean like your sensei?" Machi asked dryly and Pepeka gaped at her openly.

"I… I… I mean… it's not… it's different!" he spluttered helplessly. "Sensei! Say something!"

Kito smiled a sweet, innocent smile and Shalnark couldn't help thinking how he'd never seen a more evil expression on her face. "It can't hurt," she said. "You really need to discover how fun sex can be after all."

"Sensei!" Pepeka dropped back onto the floor with a horrified groan and the puppy scrambled over to lick his neck enthusiastically. "You can't be serious!"

"Of course I am being serious," Midoya said solemnly, though her eyes twinkled gleefully. "Orgasms are very fun, I assure you of that. So don't be afraid and just go for it."

"Sensei!"

Shizuku blinked owlishly and prodded Dancho's newly patched up arm. "Dancho," she said solemnly, "I want to blow up Timbal's brothels too."

"What?" Shalnark didn't think Timbal's voice could go any higher than that. "I don't own any brothels! I only have one apartment!" he shouted, looking mortified. "And why do you want to blow up my buildings for? I haven't done anything to you!"

"Only one apartment?" Shizuku commented, brightening up. "Oh, that's easier than."

Timbal started to splutter incoherently and Kito burst into laughter. The rest joined her and Timbal only got more flustered.

"Congratulations, Timbal, my man," Nobunaga chortled, slapping Timbal on his shoulder. "Congratulations!"

"For what?" Timbal howled, thoroughly confused, and they laughed more.

Amidst the hilarity, Shalnark glanced over at Dancho and Kito, just in time to see Kito push her king into position. "Checkmate," she murmured, smiling.

"No way," Dancho protested, and Shalnark thought he had never heard Dancho sound so surprised. "I did not see that coming. This is the first time in years I've been beaten at chess."

"And we all know what that means." Kito's smile widened. "You get to wear the handcuffs tonight."

Dancho scowled. "Best of three?" he asked hopefully.

"You're still going to lose," Kito replied confidently, sipping beer.

Dancho's eyes gleamed. "Bring it on."

Ah, Shalnark thought, as he snagged a slice of pizza and a can of beer, everything was back to normal. Smiling, he clinked cans with Machi. Mission accomplished.

* * *

Though they hadn't stayed long, it was late into the night by the time the Ryodan and Pepeka left. His Ryodan was not the most companionable of groups so their store of sociability had run out pretty fast. Midoya had also started to nod off after a while, which prompted Kuroro to shoo them away. He was aware that she had a meeting with a mafia Head tomorrow after all; she needed the rest.

While she retired to the bedroom, Kuroro cleared the rubbish and leftover food into a corner to be disposed after they've gotten some sleep. Aware that Midoya might have fallen asleep already, he had then stealthily crept into the bedroom. To his surprise, she was still awake. In fact, she was more than awake. She was lying on the bed in his now clean shirt and nothing else – except a collar.

As he gaped at her from the doorway, Midoya stretched and murmured, "You came to York Shin to catch me, Kuroro, and now that you have, what are you going to do with me?"

Ah. Kuroro let the towel around his waist dropped as he joined her on the bed. "Let's see, sure we," he murmured, pulling her close and slipping his hands under the shirt. He could feel where Machi had stitched her up, but her skin was still deliciously soft beneath his fingers.

"Mmmm, go ahead and use your brilliant mind," she murmured, and to his amazement, lay back quietly, allowing him to do as he wished. She had never yielded control fully to him before and to have her submit to him like that… Kuroro shuddered and nuzzled against her. She smelled clean, and she felt warm and comforting beneath him.

"Happy!" his body declared and he sank into her embrace with a quiet moan.

"There's no more blood left in my brain to think," Kuroro complained breathlessly as he kissed down her neck and she laughed.

"I've managed to salvage some of our favourite toys," she whispered in his ear, her hands trailing lightly down his back. "Care to survey the goods?"

Kuroro was barely thinking straight enough to glance at the side of her bed where Midoya had considerately left an assortment of her toys. Most of them were familiar to him and he knew how much fun they could be, but at that moment, all he could think of was how complicated they were. He was tired, injured, and far too aroused to use his fingers properly – so he simply buried his face in Midoya's neck again and groaned miserably.

"I see, not enough blood," Midoya translated, laughing. "Shall we just get down to business then?"

Knowing that with his current stamina and level of arousal he wasn't going to last long, Kuroro decided that Midoya's suggestion was perfectly reasonable and there was no reason why he should deny her. Blindly, he groped for the condoms he had seen just a moment ago – and his hand closed around a thin, square foil held by a large male hand.

"Looking for this?" Pariston asked amiably, holding an unopened condom. He smiled down at them as they gaped up at him. "Not taking it? You're not asking me to help you put it on, are you? I'm flattered, but sorry, you're not really my type."

The next thing Kuroro knew, Pariston was strapped to Midoya's bed with a pair of handcuffs while Kuroro held a leather whip wrapped around his neck. He wasn't sure how fast they had moved, but he was certain they must have just broken some kind of world record. "Try something funny and I'll break your neck," Kuroro informed the prone man menacingly. It would probably have looked much more threatening if the handcuffs weren't lined with pink fur and if the whip handle wasn't also a vibrator. However, Kuroro was fairly certain he could kill a grown man with a sex toy if he needed to, and he was pretty sure Pariston knew that too.

Pariston smiled and shrugged as if he couldn't care less, but his eyes followed Midoya around as she slammed the bedroom door shut and looked out her window. "No one I can see," she reported, though her eyes darted around suspiciously. "I think he's alone but don't let your guard down." With one last look out the window, Midoya turned around and padded back to them. "Alright Pariston," she said coldly, looking down at him. "What are you doing here?"

"I've missed you," Pariston replied immediately, smiling brightly. "Sorry for intruding. I wasn't aware you have gotten back with Mr Lucifer again. It is good to see you again too, Kuroro. May I call you Kuroro? Well, it is a pleasure, if an unexpected one. I guess you didn't quite take Piyon's warning to heart?" Midoya looked at him questioningly but Kuroro ignored her.

"Answer her question properly," he said softly, attempting to tighten the whip around the Zodiac's neck and accidentally switching on the vibrator instead. Bravely, he ignored the awkwardness of the situation and demanded, "What are you doing here, Zodiac?"

Pariston eyed the vibrating whip handle and coughed delicately. "About that," he said casually, as if he wasn't handcuffed and about to be strangled with a sex toy by a naked man, "I'm not in the Zodiacs anymore. I quit. So did Ging, if you must know."

"And?" Midoya demanded. "I don't care about that. I want to know what you're doing in my house."

"Well…" Pariston's smile widened in a way that made him look sweet and charming as opposed to evil and wicked. "I have an invitation for you."

Kuroro and Midoya exchanged glances over Pariston's head. "To what?" Midoya asked finally.

"To _where_." Pariston peered at Midoya. "Have you ever heard of the Dark Continents?"

* * *

A/N: Yeah! Another story down! I sincerely hope you enjoyed this story, dear readers. It was extremely difficult to write, not least because it's basically the second half of a very big story that includes A Series of Very Criminal Activities, making the two stories combined the biggest, largest, longest story I have ever written in my life. I hope I managed to do justice to the beautiful world that is the Hunter X Hunter Universe.

Now for the sad news. As the ending of this story suggests, I was totally planning on writing a story about the Dark Continents. Unfortunately, when I planned that story, I hadn't foreseen Togashi disappearing off the face of the earth before explaining what the hell is going on. I could invent my own version of the Dark Continents, but I would infinitely prefer to keep it 'in universe' as much as possible, not least because I want to find out exactly what position Pariston has assumed in the grand scheme of things.

So, here's how it's going to play out. I'm not going to write the direct sequel to this story just yet. Instead, I will produce a series of side stories that are in Midoya's universe, but which may or may not take place after the events of this story (A Series of Romantic Burning Buildings). If that makes sense. I'll leave little notes in the summaries or author notes letting you guys know when the events of these stories take place in the timeline of things. If, and I'm crossing my fingers here, no new manga chapters appear by say… June of this year (in honour of June Kito), I will write a proper sequel to A Series of Romantic Burning Buildings that has nothing to do with the Dark Continents.

At the moment, I have two stories on the drawing board. The one that is probably going to come up first is A Series of Very Bad Jokes. Chronologically, it takes place after A Series of Romantic Burning Buildings, but exactly when, I have no idea. It'll probably be quite a short story, maybe two to three chapters long. The preview is as below.

Preview to A Series of Very Bad Jokes 

Kuroro has a habit of disappearing for months on end without telling anybody where he is going. He didn't do it for any particular reason; he simply enjoyed the freedom that came with travelling on his own. It was also a way for him to recuperate before he went back to Ryodan activities or dealing with his eccentric lover. Hence normally, he very managed enjoyed his little me-time – that was until he woke up in Dumas to a quartet of drag queens opening fire on him with matching sequinned machine guns.

There could only be one person behind this.

A/N (cont): Well, that was a short preview, but it will be a short story, so I didn't want to give too much away. Do look forward to it sometime… probably in March. Till then, stay safe and healthy.

Love, lunartick


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